The air crackled with tension, and I could practically hear the universe mocking me.
The mysterious man—who, for some reason, seemed to think I was some kind of legendary hero—was standing in front of me, his hands glowing with dark energy. Meanwhile, I was just trying to wrap my head around what had happened. One minute I was enjoying some cake, and the next, some guy had burst through the window to challenge me.
Why does this keep happening?
The man, who I had dubbed 'Mysterious Window-Crasher Guy' for lack of a better name, grinned at me like I was his next meal.
"I'm impressed," he said, his voice low and filled with anticipation. "You didn't even flinch when I attacked you. Most people would be running for their lives by now."
I took a step back, my hands instinctively hovering over my pockets. "Yeah, well, I'm not most people. I don't even want to be here, so I really don't have the energy to deal with your 'test.'"
"Oh, but you will," he said, his grin widening. "I've been hired to make sure you're worthy of your title. And from what I've seen so far…"
He raised his hands again, and the energy surrounding him shifted, becoming more intense.
"Let's see if you can keep up."
With a single movement, he sent another blast of dark energy hurtling towards me. I barely had time to react, but I didn't need to. The attack went wide again, missing me by a good couple of meters.
"Hey!" I yelled. "That's not fair! I didn't even move!"
The man furrowed his brows. "You didn't dodge it."
"Nope," I said, putting my hands behind my head in exasperation. "I didn't need to. Why would I dodge when you're just going to miss again?"
The man froze for a moment, clearly taken aback. "You… what?"
"I mean, yeah, you missed last time too," I shrugged. "I just figured it was a pattern."
He stood there, blinking slowly. "I've never met someone like you before. You're… different."
I sighed. "You're not the first person to say that."
Without warning, the man raised both of his arms high into the air, and the room began to shake. The ground beneath us cracked and groaned as if the earth itself was protesting. I had no idea what kind of crazy magic he was using, but I could feel the tension building.
"I'll make sure you regret underestimating me," he said, his voice now tinged with something darker. "Get ready for the real test."
A wave of energy surged out of him, and the entire hall was engulfed in a violent storm of dark magic. The room twisted and warped as if reality itself was being bent by his power. Furniture was overturned, people screamed, and Sir Reginald, who had been standing nearby, rushed to shield the princess.
I stared at the scene unfolding around me, completely dumbfounded. "Okay, now this is getting ridiculous."
I glanced around, my mind racing. What do I even do?
I didn't want to fight this guy. I didn't even know how to fight this guy. I mean, I didn't want to fight anyone—especially not some guy who could summon this much chaos with a flick of his fingers.
But then it hit me.
Wait, my ability…
I wasn't even sure how it worked, but I knew that whenever I did something—or didn't do something—people misinterpreted it. The man was expecting a fight, expecting me to dodge, to try to block his attacks, to somehow "earn" my title as a hero.
But I didn't want any of that.
So, instead of dodging, blocking, or attacking, I did something completely ridiculous.
I sat down.
Right in the middle of the chaos.
I leaned back against one of the overturned tables, resting my head on the edge. "Yeah, no, I'm not dealing with this," I muttered to myself. "I'm just going to chill for a bit."
The storm of dark energy swirled around me, and the man's eyes widened in confusion. "What… are you doing?"
"I'm having a moment of clarity," I said, closing my eyes. "You should try it sometime."
The dark magic around us intensified, but… it still missed me. It swirled around like a chaotic tornado, narrowly avoiding me with every passing second.
The man's hands clenched into fists. "Why aren't you fighting back?"
I sighed, my head still resting lazily against the table. "I already told you, I'm just trying to survive here. I didn't sign up for this."
The energy seemed to grow more erratic as his confusion deepened. "This can't be happening…"
Suddenly, there was a loud, shocking bang. The entire room seemed to snap back into place, and the storm of dark energy dissipated, leaving the man standing in the center of the hall, breathing heavily.
I opened one eye and glanced around. "Did you run out of power, or are you done with your temper tantrum?"
The man was no longer grinning. He was… shocked. Like, genuinely shocked.
"I don't understand," he said, looking down at his hands as if he were seeing them for the first time. "You… didn't fight back. You didn't do anything."
I leaned back even further. "Exactly. I just sat here. You can't hit me if I don't give you the chance to, right?"
The man stared at me for a long time, completely silent. The entire room was still, except for the distant murmur of the crowd, who had been watching the whole thing in stunned silence.
Finally, he shook his head slowly. "You truly are… an enigma."
I shrugged. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
With that, the man stood up straight, dusting himself off. "I've seen enough." He turned to leave, but before walking away, he shot one last look at me.
"You may not be the hero I was expecting, but you're something else," he muttered. "I'll be watching you, Kaito Shizuki. Don't think you've gotten off easy."
"Sure, whatever," I called after him. "I'll be in the back, eating cake."
As the man exited the hall, the crowd began to murmur, and I was left standing there, utterly bewildered.
Once again, I'd accidentally won. How? I had no idea. But somehow, it had happened.
I sighed heavily. Just another day in paradise…
And then, of course, someone approached me from behind.
"Well done, Kaito!" Sir Reginald said, clapping me on the back. "You handled that with grace, as always!"
I turned to see that everyone—royals, nobles, and even the princess herself—were staring at me with awe.
Oh no… here we go again.
"Yeah, sure," I muttered, my head in my hands. "What a hero I am."