Kile

"Is this how I'm going to end?''

I lamented looking at the abomination staring at me from the mirror, its really a grotesque sight, i felt repulsive looking at myself in the mirror, i should be used to it by now for with every dark spell using my lifespan and the lifeblood of dark creatures i got different alteration on my body until i became this aberration of humanity.

I knew my end is coming soon but i cant accept it, i wont accept it.

From a cannon fodder mafia transmigrated into this world, thinking I'm some kind of protagonist i tried every shitty way to awakened some kind of golden finger but i didn't get a single shit and why I'm i even here in this world, I've always been realistic that's what had kept me alive in this world and previously on earth but the situation i found myself in is really laughable, by what cosmic joke was i sent here.

I can feel it, my life-force slowly slipping out of me not that I've much left before i did the ritual, I'm old, but i don't want to die, its the same thought that has been with me since back on earth, i might be realistic but just like everyone else i fear death, my mother just had to whisper those cursed words 'live' and I've been struggling to live.

They say when you're about to die your life flash before you and you get sentimental or maybe its the influence of the life-bloods I've infuse into me. I look around me both at the caged creatures and the dead ones around me.

''I'm really a stubborn fool'' just like my mother.

I've always known one love in my life which is the love of my mother, i was born in Brooklyn New York with a European mother and a father who i never care to remember because he just left with no apparent explanation, she became my everything from a young age to my early teen until she became sick, i came back from school where i found her collapsed at the front of our door, after i called the ambulance she was rushed to the hospital where she was diagnose with pancreatic cancer,

apparently she has been hiding it until her body couldn't take it anymore, i still remember how i cried seeing her get worse as the days and months go by, when i asked my mother why she didn't want treatment because we were relatively well to do and she could still pay for treatment she told me she tried for five years but pancreatic cancer has a low survival rate after spending half her savings on a seamlessly cure she decide to be realistic for she was never going to live long,

i cried, even with a strong will traits I've always be known for i couldn't hold back my wailing, what do you expect from a 13 years old child seeing his mother on her death bed.

My mother always says ''life is so fast,it would come rushing in on you in an unexpected way'',that was the situation i found myself in, 6 months after my mom got admitted she voluntary told the doctors to stop all medication,

then i didn't understand but my mom explained to me

''if you allow an uncontrollable situation to fester until it becomes an unsolvable problem, don't fight it for its your fault because before then you should have looked at all angle for an unexpected variable''

although i didn't fully understand i kept in my heart just like I've always kept all her teachings.

As i sit there close by the bedside holding her hand watching as her breath grew fainter by the minutes she whisper "live'' my hands shook with tears streaming from my eyes afraid causing her any discomfort i held back my sob not making any sound, with both hands holding her left hand i felt it as the life fade away from her and her breath grew fainter until i couldn't feel anything from her.

I stood up, i didn't cry my tears stop streaming, the nurses and doctor looked at me with pity thinking I'm traumatize but i didn't need it for i knew i don't need anyone.

Two weeks after finalizing every funeral rites, i stood by her grave thinking, yes i was thinking i didn't cry not since the third day after she died nor did i let anyone see me cry, even before my mother got sick she has prepared me for this moment

she said ''if i die only cry for three days then get back to your to life''

as i reflect on her words i knew she was right.

As i contemplate on my options i realized as a 13 years old child i had limited options, we didn't have any family relative to speak of nor any family friends, the only semblance of a friend my mom had was a lawyer who did some work for her and i know they weren't close which doesn't sound right to ask help from her and i didn't want to go to an orphanage which would likely limit my options and possibly bundle me to a family that could maltreat me.

It might be surprising seeing how a 13 years old child thinking with such concise and complicated thoughts but my mother has always instill independence in me, she has always advocate for me having my own thoughts and making decision for myself and how she made me discern right judgment, it has always helped and its still helping me.

So i decided to first check the amount of money and possible assets my mother had.

When i contacted my mothers lawyer imagine my surprise when she told me my mother sold all her assets to pay for her treatment during the years and she even had to foot the bill from her recent medical payment, i was silent, i knew there must be a mistake somewhere knowing from my mother previous teaching on human nature i could perceive the greed and foul play here, i didn't called her out on her lies because it wouldn't change a thing, after she left my home promising she would help me anyway she could, i couldn't go to the police not like anyone will believe a 13 years old child.

I didn't know what made me made such outrageous decision then but i turned to the place where my mother has always warned me from going or interacting with,she called it ''the quick fix'' for first time in my life i went against my mother instruction i went to the Ghetto, the suburbs of society, where most lowlife live, i knew i need a quick fix to this unexpected variable but i never could have imagine the cost.

As i walked through the back alley with my hood on, i saw the unscrupulous duo selling drugs to some unsavory individual, i approach them and said

"take me to your boss i have business for him"

they look at me gobsmacked

i stood there unsure trying to gauge the reaction and also to make myself look confident and more intimidating, they both look at each other before bursting into a fit of laughter then said

"kid from what rat hole did you crawl out from"

"yo ken i think the kid is high on something"

ken replied "must be from those shit face cheap drug, not even sparing to sell to a kid"

i knew they were not taking me seriously so i laid down my card

"i have information on how you can get easy millions"

they both stopped and stare at me, from their shocked expression i knew i got their attention, the big guy who his partner called ken took a step forward looking at me menacingly and said

''look kid we are not playing and you could really get hurt if you think you can just spout out nonsense''

i replied, ''trust me I'm not joking my sources are legit and don't even think you'll get any information from me, i made sure your rival gang will get half the info tonight if i don't come out of here safely and trust they will come gun blazing into your territory just to get me out''

i spoke hurriedly to quickly get all i had to say out because i knew I'm dealing with the criminal element of the society and these guys don't have any emotional constraint to torture me to get information out of me or even kill me if they think I'm from a rival gang.

They both look at me with an unsightly expression clearly understanding they couldn't handle such situation which could lead to a gang war.

"what kind of fucking lunatic is this?'' said ken partner

"bob we got to report to the boss" said ken

"what about him?" said bob pointing at me

"we'll take him along" answered bob