Buji couldn't tell how he felt at the moment. Everything seemed not to be happening and at the same time, seemed to be happening fast.
"I knew the story was all fabricated to fit yours in. Allow me to fill in the space of your comfort. Let me be your friend, Buji," Kira said, still hugging Buji tightly.
Buji sat on the pavement, frozen in surprise. He couldn't believe it. Someone, a person who didn't have to, was choosing to be his friend. Someone who could easily attract many friends to herself was asking it from him as an offer.
The thought of friendship sent a spark of excitement through his chest, and for a moment, he forgot about all the times he'd been let down before. But as the reality of it sank in, his mind began to rebel once again—doubts set in.
What if Kira was pretending to be nice? What if she was secretly laughing at him, behind his back? What if she was going to do as Emra had done? The memories of all the time he'd trusted Emra only to be disappointed came flooding back, and he felt his guard rising.
As these conflicting ideas swirled in his head, he felt torn between two opposing forces. Part of him wanted to trust Kira, to believe in her. But another part of him screamed at him to be cautious, to protect himself from getting hurt again.
"Are you okay?" Kira asked him, releasing herself from the hug. She had noticed Buji's uneasiness.
"Yeah. I'm fine," Buji replied, looking up at Kira, who beamed at him with an expectant smile. He took a deep breath, trying to quiet the doubts in his mind. Maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.
---
Inside Buji's room, he paced around for some time before reclining to his bed. He still needed to complete reading of the pamphlet, it was going to be of help to him.
Just then, his mind drifted to the book back at the Zin's house. He still needed to get hold of the book, before three weeks. Earlier he had read that after the third week, they, the new students were going on a raid and he was advised, or rather warned by both his father and a page from the book to read the book a day before his first raid.
But was he going to be allowed to go on a raid without having a talent?
Hopefully, he was going to awaken a talent before then. Somehow, a part of his mind screamed at him, 'Dreams. Bro, just accept your fate.' He managed to shift the thought aside and lay on his bed.
"I will have to figure out other things tomorrow. For today, I'm just tired enough and need rest," he said and finally gave in to sleep moments later.
Early the next morning, Buji was woken from sleep, with the breakfast bell. He prepared himself, straightening his uniform since he had slept with it the other night, and jolted to the dining hall.
There, Kira sat beside him, providing company instead of his usual loneliness. The void of his usual solitude. Her presence was oddly comforting, and for the first time in a long while, he smiled. His face lit up, accentuating his handsome features.
"You seem different today. What's the good news?" Kira noted with her question, her eyes radiating with the beam of curiosity.
"Maybe I just feel… lighter," Buji replied with his smile lingering as they ate.
The moment Buji spent with Kira filled with the exchange of glances and smiles. And of course, Buji could feel the weight of the sight of other students dropping in their presence.
'And Kira didn't care. Interesting.'
"…and I also heard that we will be gathering at the hall again this afternoon."
"When?"
"The bell will tell us." And that ended their discussion for the meantime, except for the moment both of them shared while eating.
As the breakfast ended, the students began shuffling out of the hall with murmurs of they-know-what filling the air.
____FIRST POV____
And that was how I got someone to stay by my side, but only for a while.
Who knew what might turn out in the later future?
As I walked back to my room, I felt the weight of rejection getting off me. The burden it had rested on my shoulders was weighed out now, and I could only feel like a flying bird, as light as I never imagined.
When Emra had told me those words of disappointment, embarrassment, and rejection, I had expected it. But for some reason, it pierced my heart like a sharp knife. If this new friend does anything like Emra did, how will I feel?
I don't want to think about that. Honestly.
I had reached my room door, so, I entered it. I had to undress and change to new clothes. So, I did.
I laid straight on my bed, stretching my hands behind above my head in the form of relaxing myself. Although, my mind was not going to rest at all.
It tickled my fancy that I wondered if I was worthy of love and if I was good enough. But the truth is, I was very much good enough to be loved. My handsome face was tall except for being lean, my brown hair was shady but also in order. So, why is that am I not supposed to be loved? Just because of a mere misfortune?
That's not true at all. No matter the situation, everyone deserves to be loved. In one of the books I read in my former school's library, I've forgotten the author. It clearly states there that every person has a fundamental need for positive regard, which includes feelings of acceptance, love, and respect from others.
Are we not meant to?
Like, I heard it also helps in the development of the human person. Even the bad people had people who loved them, so why not me?
Keep playing.
The way I meant Emra had been as a result of my orphanness. Even though, I would have met someone at the orphanage, if not many people who would prove this theory.
It was simply human nature to be loved, even if it came late, it was surely going to come.
In my own case, it had never come late. Every time I feel like I'm almost deserted, someone troops into my life. My only hope is to find someone who will be everlasting.
But, is it possible? Can it be possible?
For the first time since I found out about Emra and Mr. Zin's plan. Although, I'm not sure yet what it is about, I felt I could breathe again. Just the little time I spent with Kira, and everything seemed to be turning out right.
Even though I hadn't awakened any talent yet, I feel not having any instructor was going to be okay. I've always done things on my own, and this moment will not be a different one. I look at me at the top.
I smiled and turned to lie sideways when the bell Kira had told me about brought me back to my consciousness.
The bell that will gather students for the second reckoning. Which meant, it was time for the second reckoning, and he should be there.