I didn't have the slightest shred of doubt regarding what that despicable Abu said. The words that came out of his mouth were, in my mind, as certain as the harsh reality we were living in.
If someone fails the assessment tomorrow and their family refuses to pay to ransom their life, I firmly believe that their future will be nothing but a nightmare. Their destiny is bound to be one filled with horror and despair, as we have witnessed the merciless nature of this place time and again.
During the period of contact with him, I have come to fully understand that this brute has no moral bottom line. He is capable of committing the most heinous acts without a second thought, as if evil has completely consumed his soul.
I had initially thought that when he announced the punishment for failing the assessment, every single person present would be trembling with uncontrollable fear. Their bodies would shake like leaves in a violent storm, their eyes filled with dread.
However, as it turns out, after these few days of intense psychological indoctrination and brainwashing, only a portion of the people were stricken with fear. Astonishingly, a small number of them not only lacked any sign of fear but instead seemed to be looking forward to it with an almost eager anticipation. It was as if they had been completely warped by the perverse environment.
It's only been a matter of a few short days, yet the transformation among these people has been staggeringly huge. It's like they have become different beings altogether, their once - familiar personalities replaced by something darker and more unpredictable.
At this very moment, I couldn't help but be haunted by the recollection of that horrifying scene. Abu, that detestable scoundrel, forced everyone to cut flesh from that emaciated young man who had failed to meet his performance quota. The memory of that event is like a festering wound in my mind.
When we were coerced by Abu to form a line and one by one cut the flesh of the skinny young man with knives, the others in the office remained completely indifferent. From the very beginning to the end, they hardly paid any attention to the atrocity that was unfolding right in front of them. Some were engaged in phone conversations, as if the screams of pain were mere background noise. Others were chatting away on their computers, their eyes glued to the screens, oblivious to the human suffering just a few feet away.
The vast majority of them simply continued with their own affairs, as if a life - and - death struggle was of no consequence to them. Even when I was ultimately forced to plunge the blood - soaked dagger into the heart of the skinny young man, scarcely anyone bothered to look in our direction. In their warped perception, a human life held less value than the phone call they were making or the message they were typing.
The reactions of my companions here bear an uncanny resemblance to what happened in the office that fateful day. It's as if history is repeating itself, and we are all caught in this never - ending cycle of horror.
I couldn't help but be consumed by thoughts of what would become of them if, by some miracle, they were lucky enough to be rescued from this godforsaken park and returned to the normal world of humanity. Would they be able to reintegrate? Or would the trauma have scarred them forever?
After the discussion about the assessment, the three - day training session on telecom fraud finally came to a temporary halt. I was left wondering about the motives behind the actions of that wretched Abu.
I don't know whether it was because that scoundrel Abu wanted to reward us for successfully completing the course or if it was a ploy to encourage everyone to perform well in tomorrow's assessment. But surprisingly, for dinner, he actually prepared plain cooked white rice and a large basin of twice - cooked pork for us.
Excluding the flesh that was cut from the skinny young man who hadn't completed his performance quota, since the day I entered this park, including this meal tonight, this is only the third time I've laid eyes on real meat. The first meal was the day before I was compelled to ask my family for 200,000 yuan in ransom. The second meal was the meat buns we had three days ago. And now, there's this sumptuous meal of twice - cooked pork tonight.
The sight of the big basin filled to the brim with twice - cooked pork was not only enough to make my mouth water uncontrollably, but it also drove the others into a frenzy. They shouted with excitement, their voices echoing in the room. Everyone rushed towards the basin of twice - cooked pork with their bowls in hand, as if they were ravenous ghosts reincarnated, their only purpose being to satisfy their insatiable hunger.
Even though I was acutely aware that our behavior resembled that of pigs fighting over food in a pigsty, the allure of the meat was too great. For the sake of this precious meal of meat, I still dashed towards the basin of twice - cooked pork as fast as my legs could carry me.
Ensuring that my body receives as many nutrients as possible is of utmost importance. It is an integral part of my plan to survive and eventually escape from this living hell. If one doesn't get enough to eat, not only will the body become weak and lack strength, but the mind's reaction speed will also gradually slow down, making it even more difficult to find a way out.
When it comes to the mad scramble for food, men seem to have a natural advantage over women. When I was clutching the large half - bowl of twice - cooked pork that I had managed to snatch, with two heaping spoonfuls of rice on top, and had just found a corner seat and taken a few bites, Xie Fangfang walked over with her head bowed, holding a half - bowl of rice, and quietly sat beside me.
Since the first time I sat beside Xie Fangfang in the classroom, it seems that this girl has developed a habit. Whether it's during class, mealtime, or even when we sleep in the cell at night, she always prefers to be close to me. In the limited free space that we have, Abu, that despicable man, hasn't interfered with us in any way.
This includes decisions such as which seat to occupy during meals and who to share a cell with at night. It appears that in his eyes, there is no such concept as separating men and women. But in my view, this is undoubtedly a deliberate act on Abu's part. It's as if we are just livestock to him, and he doesn't care about our privacy or dignity, just like a master who doesn't concern himself with whether sows and boars are in the same pen.
With my mouth full of oil, I took a quick glance at Xie Fangfang's rice bowl, hesitated for a moment, and then asked her, "Didn't you manage to grab any meat?" My tone was a bit hesitant, not knowing how she would respond.
Xie Fangfang nodded numbly, her eyes vacant as she aimlessly poked at the rice grains in her bowl. It was impossible to tell what was going on in her mind.
"Eat," I said simply, and picked up a few slices of twice - cooked pork from my bowl and placed them in hers. Then, I resumed eating with my head down, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.
Although it wasn't the fault of any of us present when she was brutally dragged away and violated by those scumbags from northern Myanmar in front of all of us on the morning of the second day after entering the park, the guilt still lingers in the back of my mind. We all just stood there, frozen with fear, and did nothing to help her.
Regarding this point, although the small amount of guilt in my heart has long since dissipated over time, for the sake of being fellow provincials from Sichuan, I'm willing to offer her some occasional help as long as it doesn't put me in jeopardy.
Xie Fangfang looked at the slices of twice - cooked pork I gave her, and for the first time in days, there was a glimmer of life in her eyes. It was a small sign of hope, a spark that had been almost extinguished.
After slowly chewing and swallowing the last slice of twice - cooked pork, Xie Fangfang turned her gaze towards the distance and said softly, "Do you think we'll ever be able to go back to our hometown in this lifetime?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, filled with a mixture of longing and despair.
It was the first time I'd heard her speak in what felt like an eternity. Since she was dragged away and violated by those northern Myanmar scumbags, Xie Fangfang has been like a mute, lost in her own world of pain and trauma, never uttering a word.
Suddenly hearing her speak, I paused in the middle of scooping up my rice, hesitated for a brief moment, and then offered her some words of comfort. "As long as we don't give up, I believe we'll be able to go back one day," I said, trying to sound as reassuring as possible.
Xie Fangfang seemed not to have heard my answer, her eyes still fixed on some distant point, her hands tightly clutching the chopsticks. It was as if she was in a trance, lost in her own thoughts.
Until I ate up the last grain of rice in my bowl and let out a satisfied burp, she then spoke again, as if to me and also as if to herself. "What's the point of going back?" Her voice was so soft that I could only make out the words 'go back' with great difficulty.
When I asked her what she had just said, she fell silent once again, retreating back into her shell of silence.
After these few days, in fact, I've already noticed that Xie Fangfang's mind has been severely affected by the incident of being violated. She has become somewhat abnormal, as can be seen from her often unfocused eyes. It's as if she's lost her connection with the present world.
Because I've already grown accustomed to Xie Fangfang's abnormal behavior during these past few days, I didn't really take her sudden question during the meal to heart. Giving her a few slices of twice - cooked pork was already the most I could do for her under these circumstances.
After dinner, as usual, we were all escorted back to the cells on the basement floor. The routine was becoming all too familiar, a reminder of our captivity.
When it was time to sleep at night, Xie Fangfang still habitually curled up beside me. The warmth of her body against mine was a small comfort in this cold and harsh environment.
The three days of intense concentration on learning about the telecom fraud business had left me completely exhausted. To make matters worse, there's the graduation assessment tomorrow, and one wrong move could result in having my kidneys cut out. The thought of it was terrifying, so I knew I had to go to bed early to get enough rest and be fully prepared to face whatever lay ahead.
"Ah!"
While I was sleeping in a dazed state, I was suddenly jolted awake by a shrill scream of terror. The sound pierced through the darkness, sending a shiver down my spine.
Before I could even begin to make sense of what was happening, I reflexively rolled over and climbed up immediately. My heart was pounding in my chest, adrenaline coursing through my veins.
The light on the basement floor was extremely dim, barely illuminating the space around me. Before I could even sit up properly after getting up, I felt something hit me. I cursed under my breath, my instincts kicking in as I instinctively shrank back. It was only then that I realized that it wasn't someone attacking me. It was just that two women's legs were already there, and I had accidentally bumped into them because I had gotten up so suddenly.
Looking up along the swaying legs, I saw Xie Fangfang's face, which had already turned a ghastly blue color under the dim light. The sight was enough to send a chill through my bones.