Chereads / I, Lucifer / Chapter 32 - Reflections

Chapter 32 - Reflections

Debbie sat in her living room, the soft glow of the lamp casting a warm, almost surreal light over her face. Her hands trembled slightly as she held the steaming cup of tea Lisa had made for her. Despite everything being over, her heart still felt like it was racing.

Lisa sat across from her, equally contemplative. The two women shared a silence that was thick with the weight of recent events.

"How did we get here?" Debbie finally broke the silence, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lisa glanced up, her expression conflicted. "I've been asking myself the same question. How does someone like me end up...involved in this?"

Debbie leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "You know, I never thought about things like...heaven or hell. It always felt like stories. But now—"

Lisa interrupted softly, "It's real. Lucifer showed me his true face. That's how I believed."

Debbie's eyes widened slightly, but she didn't interrupt. Lisa continued, her voice steady but tinged with emotion. "He showed me who he really was. The devil himself, standing there in front of me. At first, I couldn't breathe. The fear...it's indescribable. But then, I realized...he wasn't trying to scare me. He was...being honest. And that's when it hit me: heaven, hell—they're not just abstract ideas. They're real."

At the mention of hell, Debbie flinched visibly. She stared into her tea as if searching for answers in the swirling liquid. "I know they're real," she said quietly.

Lisa frowned. "What do you mean?"

Debbie looked up, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I died, Lisa. When Corvus' men attacked me...I actually died. I went to hell."

Lisa's breath hitched. "What? But—you're here now."

Debbie nodded, her grip on the cup tightening. "Yes. Thanks to Amenadiel. But while I was there...it was..." She paused, struggling to find the words. "It wasn't just fire and brimstone. It was...a torment tailored for me. It felt like a hundred years, Lisa. A hundred years of pain, regret, and reliving every mistake I ever made. And then suddenly, I was back. Like it never happened."

Lisa's eyes filled with empathy and horror. "Debbie, I...I don't even know what to say."

Debbie set the cup down, her voice firm now. "You don't have to say anything. I have a second chance, Lisa. And I'm not going to waste it. I'm going to do everything right—everything—to make sure I never go back there."

There was silence for a moment, but then Debbie laughed suddenly, her voice breaking into an almost hysterical chuckle. Lisa blinked in surprise as Debbie leaned back against the couch, covering her face with her hands and laughing harder.

"Debbie?" Lisa asked hesitantly.

Debbie lowered her hands, her face flushed with amusement and disbelief. "I actually slept with the devil. Literally!"

Lisa's jaw dropped, and then she couldn't help it—she burst out laughing too. The tension between them dissolved in their shared laughter, the absurdity of it all overwhelming them.

"Oh my God," Lisa wheezed, holding her stomach. "You did. You actually did."

Debbie groaned, her laughter subsiding into a sheepish grin. "How does anyone come back from that? I mean, that's a whole new level of bad decisions!"

Lisa shook her head, wiping away tears of laughter. "I think you just won the award for the craziest story ever."

Debbie shrugged, her smile fading into a thoughtful expression. "Maybe. But I'm serious about what I said, Lisa. I've been given a second chance. I can't waste it."

Lisa nodded slowly. "You're strong, Debbie. If anyone can turn things around, it's you."

The two women sat in silence again, but this time it wasn't heavy. It was a shared understanding, a mutual acknowledgment of the profound changes they had both undergone.

Finally, Debbie managed a faint smile. "You know, for what it's worth, I think we're stronger for surviving all this."

Lisa smiled back, a flicker of hope returning to her eyes. "I think you're right."

And for the first time since the chaos began, they allowed themselves a moment of peace.

---

The fire crackled in the hearth, casting a warm glow across the study, but the air between Lucifer, Selene, and Amenadiel felt charged with the aftermath of everything that had happened. Corvus was dead, and Lucifer had survived, but it had come at a great cost. There was a heavy silence before Amenadiel finally broke it.

"You know," Amenadiel started, leaning back in his chair with a deep sigh, "I've been wondering about Michael for some time. I never expected him to go as far as he did, even for you. But I should've known better. That jealousy runs deep."

Lucifer's gaze darkened as he stared into his glass, swirling the whiskey absently. "Jealousy... That's the word we'll go with, huh? It's more than just that, though. He can't accept that I'm not who he wants me to be. He can't understand why I'm not just like him. He calls me a disgrace, a failure... but it's all projection. He's the one who's trapped. He's the one who can't see the bigger picture."

Selene nodded, her eyes sharp as she leaned forward. "Michael sees the world in absolutes—right or wrong, good or evil, and everyone must fit into one of those boxes. The fact that you don't belong in either of those boxes has driven him insane." She paused, the flickering candlelight highlighting the resolve in her eyes. "He'll never accept you. Not fully."

Lucifer chuckled darkly, his voice laced with bitterness. "Maybe not. But I never wanted his approval. You know, it's funny how he's always tried to 'fix' me. Like I'm some broken puzzle that needs to be put together the way he sees fit. But I've never needed his fixing. I've always been just fine as I am."

Amenadiel's voice softened, full of quiet understanding. "You're right. He'll never understand that. He doesn't see the freedom you have—the freedom that, in his eyes, makes you dangerous. He only sees a threat to his version of the world."

Lucifer leaned back, looking at his brother. "And yet, it's all too easy to forget that we were once allies. We fought together against the darkness. I didn't choose this path, Amenadiel. But Michael... he's determined to make me the enemy." His voice became low, almost pained. "Sometimes, I wonder if I'm fighting the right fight."

Selene, sensing the shift in the atmosphere, reached for her glass and took a slow sip. "You fight for yourself, Lucifer. That's all you can do. You've always fought for your own freedom. That's something Michael can never understand. And for what it's worth... I think you're doing just fine."

Lucifer gave her a wry smile, his usual bravado creeping back into his demeanor. "You're right, of course. I fight for me. But in the end, it's more than just me now, isn't it?"

Selene raised an eyebrow. "More than just you?"

"Debbie," Lucifer replied, almost wistfully. "I didn't think I'd care about a human life again. I've spent so long in hell, disconnected from anything that mattered. But her... she's different. She reminds me of things I thought I lost. Things that matter." He looked down at his glass, suddenly lost in thought.

Amenadiel, ever the thoughtful one, was quiet for a moment, then spoke up. "You've always been able to see the good in others. Even when you won't admit it, you have a way of connecting with people, Lucifer. And Debbie... she's been important. She's part of your story now, whether you like it or not."

Lucifer chuckled, though there was no mirth in it. "My story, huh? I guess if my story's going to include humans, I'll have to get used to all the mess they bring with them."

Selene smirked, leaning back in her chair. "That's the devil for you. Always fighting the messy battles. But you still care. It's what makes you... interesting."

Lucifer's expression softened, his eyes glinting with a rare hint of vulnerability. "I never thought I would be capable of this. Caring about anyone. And yet, here I am, dragging my sorry soul through another day, fighting for something I'm not sure I even understand."

Selene reached out, her fingers lightly brushing against his glass. "You're not alone in this, Lucifer. Whether you want to admit it or not, you've got people who'll fight beside you. It's not just your battle anymore."

Lucifer turned his gaze to her, an almost imperceptible nod of acknowledgment. "I suppose so." He exhaled, letting the weight of everything they had been through settle around him. "But this... this mess with Michael, with Corvus... it's not just about me anymore. It's about something bigger. Something I'm not sure I fully understand either."

Amenadiel interjected, his voice firm. "What's next for you, Lucifer? For all of us? We've seen so much chaos, but where do we go from here?"

Lucifer let out a long breath and leaned forward, his face intense. "For once, I have no idea. But we've come this far, haven't we? If we survived Corvus, if we survived Michael's madness, then maybe there's a place for all of us. I'm not sure where that place is, but... I'm willing to find out."

Selene gave him a look of understanding, then raised her glass. "To the devil, then. Still fighting, still standing."

Lucifer, ever the charmer, smirked. "To the devil, indeed."

Amenadiel smiled and raised his glass too. "To fighting the good fight. Even when we don't know what the hell the 'good' actually is."

They all laughed, the sound echoing in the room. For a moment, they were simply three people, together in their strange world, trying to make sense of everything that had happened. Lucifer's sarcastic edge softened, and for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to enjoy the company.

And as they poured themselves another round, the conversation shifted to lighter things—old stories, new banter, and an understanding that, whatever happened next, they would face it together. Because, in the end, there was no going back.