CHAPTER 9
Chicago Middle School welcomed all sixth graders returning new students for another school year 2013-2014. Being the youngest in my class and the only colored mixed race student in the class, and at the age of 10 wasn't exactly the best way to start my school year and to top it all, Jaime and Chris were not in my classroom for grade 6. Although, Cynthia and Carl were in the same class, it still was not going to be the same without Jaime and Chris.
Our classroom teacher Mr. Simpson, a very tall well built with dark black hair and a mustache didn't seem to be the kind that would be friendly and after listening to his opening speech on the first day of school including the rules, was quite sure that this was going to be interesting beginning of my middle school journey. Sadly the only time I was able to see and meet Jaime and Chris was during recess, lunch time, Spanish and after school when were going home and on the weekends when we would meet up and do our homework together. Although we were all in separate classes, but the lesson content we learned was all the same, thus working together to complete the homework and projects was straightforward and easy but with occasion when I didn't understand some math and science concepts, was good having them around on the weekends to help me with my homework.
Our parents were not very happy at all when they found out we were in separate classes for grade 6 especially Mrs. Anders who had even gone to speak to the principal about moving Jaime, Chris and I into the same classroom even with all her efforts including both Chris's and my parents, nothing changed and we all remained in the assigned classrooms. It was quite tough for me because I was the only colored mixed race student in the classroom and it was sometimes difficult working with some of the students as they were not kind and friendly. I told myself that "Diana, if they don't want to work with you that is fine, as long as you don't get into any trouble, participate well in and out of class, complete and submit your homework on time, all shall be good." I had come to learn that a lot of the students had their own social circle of friends and it was difficult fitting in any of the circles, was almost like a competition and you had to beg to get accepted, or you had some sort of status not just you but including your family. I told myself "I would rather just hang out with Jaime and Chris when we could than stress myself trying to prove to people that I have the status that can enable me to fit into their social circle.
There were times when Mr. Simpson would have us do group projects for science, social studies and language arts that was my worst fear, as it was already clear who wanted to work with whom and why….which for me didn't bother me but what was quite concerning was how Cynthia and Carl choose to behave, I was left speechless. I would have thought that when we were in elementary how we all got along quite well, did group works and at times hang out together during some recesses but that all changed right in front of my very own eyes when they decided to not speak to me, not involve me in any of their circle or want to work with me in any of the group projects. I was quite shocked, even told Jaime and Chris about it. They wanted to speak to Carl and Cynthia about it but I told them "don't waste your time, it is not worth it, they have already decided which side of the team they belong too and it was very clear." Jaime and Chris were very shocked and they decided they were never going to speak to them ever again which meant all the way even in high school. After this incident, we never spoke to any of them again, even in my class and that was the end of the topic.
I had spoken to my parents about my ongoing adventure and mishaps in grade 6 which did raise some concerns to my parents. Nevertheless, I told them "mum, dad don't worry about all this or about me, everything is going to be fine." "You have always told me that if people don't want to be my friends, I should never beg, I did nothing wrong and should have nothing to worry about, as long as I don't cause any problems or gossip about anyone should have nothing to worry or fear." I told my parents. The fact of knowing that I had Jaime and Chris in the same school was already good enough for me and I had nothing to worry about.
Mr. Simpson had already noticed how a lot of the students in our class didn't want to work with me on the group projects, but they had no choice, and I was assigned to a group that had four people, me being the fifth addition to the group. Of course I could already sense that I was not welcomed and they were not planning on being friendly. Having sensed that I got the courage to lay this on the table "listen, I don't care if you like me or not, or if you want to talk to me or not, I am just here to do the assigned project, do whatever needs to be done for the group and prepare to present it and get my grade" I told my group members. After making that statement loud and clear, we worked on the project; I was assigned some tasks which were pretty straightforward, there were times we each had to give comments on the questions and prompts that would be used for the presentation. I gave my opinion with the intent of knowing it was not going to be well received, but surprisingly it was well taken and used for the presentation. When it came to doing the presentations, we each had our part to present, as I had already practiced and was ready to do the presentation, I did it without the help of my group members and was even able to answer questions from Mr. Simpson and my classmates. In the end most of the entire group projects that I did in grade 6 got wither an A- or an A which was good enough for me, as long as I passed and with positive comments that was all that mattered.
The after school activities were going quite well even better than my regular classes, I still continued with art club, archery both in and out of school, debate club and journalism and badminton club. Archery and badminton clubs were twice a week, debate club, and journalism were once a week. I would always look forward to joining my after school activities as that was the only time I felt free, felt myself and everyone enjoyed the activities, they were very friendly, kind and helpful. For the entire summer vacation since fifth grade was spent going on summer camps with Jaime and Chris and focusing on my archery and badminton skills since these would be the two biggest activities that I would continue until high school.
Although my first year in middle school ended on a positive note getting good scores, staying out of trouble, still being able to hang out with Chris and Jaime, participating in great classroom activities and after school activities, there were still some issues that were quite worrisome and I had already feared what was yet to come moving on to grade 7 next fall.
CHAPTER 10
Grade 7 the present day….yup another school year 2014-2015 in grade 7, wasn't as cool as I had anticipated, and actually was no different from sixth grade. The only good side was that Jaime and Chris were still in the same school but we were once again in different classes. Some of my previous sixth grade classmates were in my seventh grade classroom and again being the ONLY mixed race colored student in Mrs. Clemens class, was no surprise at all. At this point my parents, Chris and Jaime's parents were no longer making requests to the school to have the three of us be in the same classes anymore. Chris, Jaime and I also spoke with our parents and told them not to go ask the school to put us in the same classroom together. We felt it was too much trouble and since the school was not willing to listen or assist our parents with their requests, we all decided to let it go. What was the most important in the end was that as long as we three were in the same school, were able to hang out during our recesses, lunch times and after school and on the weekends including the summer and winter vacations and still living in the same neighborhood. Having all these positive attributes, I had nothing to worry about when it came to the relationship and friendship bond between Jaime, Chris and I as we always told each other "no matter what, when, who, or how, we shall always stick together, be there for each other." With that statement, I had nothing to fear or worry about!!
My goal in seventh grade was to focus on my studies and my after school activities. The subjects we were learning included English Language Arts, Math 7, Science, Social Studies, Art, Music, P.E., technology, and Spanish. There were also other additional classes we had to take such as enrichments math, reading, and English and also had to take assessments which were done yearly to check for math, science and language arts. When we first got our schedule, Jaime, Chris and I were like "seriously?" were we going to make it with all the workload, homework, the assessments, and the after school activities? We were in total silence, and then just looked at each other and laughed and laughed, why? Well, we never expected anything to be easy in middle school and already knew the learning lifestyle was completely different from elementary and would be difficult. Although we never had any learning issues while in elementary and in sixth grade, we were not about to let the pressure of being in seventh grade pull us to the ground or get discouraged and depressed with all the workload. We told ourselves "we did it before and we can do it again." Our parents didn't seem worried at all as we had assured them that we shall work together, continue to study and help each other out and should we encounter any problems as you said, we will inform our teachers.
And that was that our life journey in seventh grade. If you call I had told you the story when I got bullied by two body built guys and one blond girl who were also in seventh grade making me late for my after school debate club and didn't mention it to anyone? Well, I finally had the courage to tell Jaime and Chris exactly what happened and why I was late for the debate club? By the time I finished telling them the story, they were already up and ready to go find them and beat the crap out of them but I stopped them. They asked "Whether I had told my parents?" "Had I told my teachers?" I told them "No, I hadn't told anyone and was not planning on telling them anything". They asked why, I said "I am not about to bring any extra trouble for myself, my family and you guys, and besides I don't know their names, only recognize their faces and who knows if the situation was caught on camera or not." Before I could continue Jaime said "Well if you do or ever saw them again would you recognize them?" I said "Of course I would." With that reply, I saw Jaime and Chris's eyes and their facial expressions were not pleasant at all and I knew that no matter what they were going to make sure those bullies were identified and would pay the price for what they did to their friend. I was a bit scared as I knew what Chris and Jaime were capable of doing especially when it came to me getting hurt or having any problems at school, which I truly appreciate because they have always defended and stood by me when I was in trouble or when I needed help. As we walked to our classroom, crazy thoughts were going through my head but it was my hope that I would never have to run into those bullies ever again or as long as I was in Chicago Middle School!!
The struggles of being a mixed colored race student in Chicago middle school were clearly noticeable; leave alone the fact that making or having friend was close to impossible, even working or doing any class work with your classmates was another story all together. However, the one that I failed to fathom was when I would excel in all my subjects except mathematics 7 and Mrs. Clemens was not friendly and patient when it came to teaching math. At first I thought it was just me she had a vendetta with because I was not a good student in her math class, but I then realized I was not the only one struggling as well there were other students and to make it even better these were white students who struggled with mathematics, that to me was a consolation price that made me feel like I had bragging rights. Although some of the concepts Mrs. Clemens taught were somehow related to what I had learned from grade six, I didn't understand why I was having such a hard time with mathematics 7. The way Mrs. Clemens taught was also at times not very clear and when I raised my hands to ask her a question or to have her repeat the explanation again, she would always brush me off by saying "ask one of your classmates to explain and teach you after class as I am not going to waste time explaining this simple arithmetic again." Not once nor twice did she say this to me in front of everyone in the class, but I was completely heartbroken, shocked and almost in tears. From that day, every day we had math class, I just watched what she was teaching but never paid attention and completely lost interest in her lesson. Yes, I did complete her homework, which was done to the best of my knowledge and whatever grade I got I went with it. The moral and learning attitude in Mrs. Clemens math class completely deteriorated to the extent that I begun hating math class never paid attention and never cared, even when Mrs. Clemens paused and asked me a question, my response would and was always "I don't know, sorry," and the lesson continued. It wasn't until one day after school when we, Jaime Chris and I were heading home when Chris asked me "What's going on in your math class?" I replied "What do you mean?" Chris continued "Well, we heard some stories about how you got shut down by Mrs. Clemens when you asked her a question and how she treats you differently from all the other students in your class." Jaime asked "Is this true?" I wasn't sure where or what to say because I had already lost complete interest in learning anything that had to do with mathematics. I looked at both Jaime and Chris, took a deep breath and replied "What you heard or were told is true; I have been having a very hard time in my mathematics class, and Mrs. Clemens doesn't seem to want to help me at all." I continued "I am not the only one struggling in her class; there are also some white students who have it worse than me, but she is always willing and ready to help me." I asked them with tears running down my face, "Does it have anything to do with me being colored or is it that I am stupid and can't learn mathematics?" They both came and gave me a hug trying to comfort me and make me feel better. Jaime said "Diana, stop saying that you are stupid and you don't any mathematics or saying that it has anything to do with you being colored." He continued "maybe there are some concepts you haven't quite understood, or maybe it is the way Mrs. Clemens teaches that makes you not understand anything and she is not patient in help or teaching you so that you can understand, which would explain your change in learning attitude and the hate you have for math." Chris asked, "Do your parents know about this?" Diana replied "No I haven't told them anything and I know if I do they will show up at the school which will be another dramatic episode for me in grade 7. Chris asked "So what do you want to do about it?" At that moment my head stopped, my mind stopped, I wasn't talking anymore but just looking at Chris and Jaime straight through their eyes, I could see them talking and saying things, and lots of noises around, but I was not able to move, nor was I able to speak. All over a sudden my head started racing with thoughts of everything I had gone through from my math class, to the bullies I encountered to issues with my classmates. It was as if ideas were floating in my mind, something powerful entered my body and mind that was really strong almost like it was taking control over me. A few minutes later, I was back to normal, I looked at my hands, was feeling my body and head, looked around and all was as before and Chris and Jaime were just looking at me talking waving their hands to try and get my attention. "Hey Diana, you alright, you seemed disconnected there for a second," asked Chris. I replied, "No, I am good" thanks. I was trying to understand what just happened and how it can be explained. As we were walking Chris asked me again "So what are you going to do about the math situation?" I replied "Let me think about it and take it from there." But in my mind I was "I will deal with it myself" Jaime said "Alright, well if you have any problems or questions, you know you can always count on us." "Thanks guys" I replied and we continued walking in silence. "Can I ask you guys not to tell your parents or my parents what happened or has been happening in my math class, please?" I asked. They both replied "Sure." I said to them "I will tell my parents."
When I got home from school I tried to hide the problem from my parents as I didn't want to worry them at all. Therefore, I pretended that everything was fine, hugged my parents; the usual took a bath, changed, had something to drink as I was thirsty and went back to my room to work on my homework. On this day I only had Spanish and science homework. As I started doing my homework, I somehow drifted to sleep when I had this strange dream. I was in my grade 7 classroom seated all by myself in deep thoughts and then I noticed the mathematics textbook was right on my desk and as I turned the pages of the textbook, I looked up and saw Mrs. Clemens teaching to the class, but when I looked around I didn't see any of my other classmates as it was just me alone in the class. I turned the pages in the textbook, folded my arms and continued looking at Mrs. Clemens teaching and I could see her getting angry and not happy at all while she was teaching. I wanted to raise my hands to ask her a question but as soon as I tried to raise my hand, there was some kind of force pulling my hand down almost as if it wasn't allowing me to speak or wanting me to ask the question. It was then I looked at my math textbook and saw a message written in the middle of the page saying "I know you have been struggling with math, but don't worry everything will be fine, you are a smart and brave young girl, you just have to remain positive, strong and confident in yourself and everything you do and you will succeed." I started asking "Who are you, what do you want from me, why are you helping me?" A strange mix of voices replied "You will know in due time, always remember I will always be with you." At that moment I woke up from my sleep in a state of shock, face, palms all sweating like crazy. I got up from my chair went to the bathroom and just to make sure that I was not crazy, slapped my face three times, splashed cold water on my face, looked at myself in the mirror, nothing was wrong nor strange happening to the way I looked or my face. I walked back to my room slowly sat on my chair and continued doing my homework.
Within the hour I was done with my homework, joined my parents for dinner. As we were having dinner the usual conversation on how school was going was the topic of our dinner discussion. With a good pretence, I replied "School is going very well, classes are all good, lots of projects, group work and presentations and the after school activities are also going great." I summed it up quite well because no more questions were asked which was a relief. I was just not ready to talk about anyone or anything that had or has been happening at school. I wanted to solve all my problems on my own, didn't want anyone to worry about me or the problems I was facing. At this moment, I could only trust in telling Jaime and Chris because I knew they would never sell any of my secrets or problems to anyone.
The next day at school I was very quiet in Mrs. Clemens class as she was introducing what the schedule of the day and just when I thought our first class was going to be English Language arts it turned out to be social studies then the second lesson was mathematics. During our social studies class we had been introduced to the Ancient Civilizations which included Mesopotamian civilization, Indus Valley civilization, Egyptian civilization, Ancient Greek civilization, and Chinese civilization, Persian civilization, Roman civilization, Maya civilization, Incan and Aztec civilization. The information to be studied was an introduction of each civilization including history, timeline, common characteristics these societies shared, what made them unique etc. I found this topic quite interesting and fascinating but as I was listening and reading the presentation from Mrs. Clemens, fast facts and information were flowing in my mind about each civilization and pictures as well and the information that was given to us to read I had read it in less than twenty minutes and understood pretty much everything and every detail of each civilization. I paused for a minute and looked around to see who else was reading the same information but everyone was looking or rather staring at the presentation. It was very clear to me at that moment that something was not right and something strange was happening to me in my mind and body. Before the lesson ended Mrs. Clemens assigned a group presentation where each group was to choose one of the civilizations and prepare a presentation. Once again I was the only one singled out with no partners, so instead of panicking and wondering who will be my partner, which group should I join or which group will I be placed by Mrs. Clemens, I lifted my hands stood up and told Mrs. Clemens in front of the whole class "I will choose to do the Greek civilization on my own, is that alright with you Mrs. Clemens?"Everyone looked at me, and then looked at Mrs. Clemens, who then looked at me and replied "Sure, no problem, you can work on your own to prepare the Greek civilization." I jumped up with excitement saying "yes, finally" and sat down with the biggest smile ever and not worrying what my classmates said!! As Mrs. Clemens was wrapping up the lesson, I could see all eyes were looking at me while whispers could be heard. I could hear what they were saying but I didn't let that bother me at all, as long as I was doing what I was to do in class without causing any disruption or problems with my classmates, what I did or how I chose to do it was not anyone's concern. I will say though that was so cool, the way I stood up and spoke, it was courage beyond a doubt. Mrs. Clemens concluded by saying that "all projects were to be ready for presentation in three weeks. My mind went 'right on, let the games begin.'
Second class was mathematics; although it was already crystal clear this was not my favorite subject I was not about to fail a class because of the teacher and my classmates. Last month we learned on the extended use of the four basic arithmetic operations on whole numbers, fractions, mixed numbers and decimals. That lesson was quite simple and brought back some pleasant learning memories of elementary and grade 6 which I loved. Today's lesson was on solving real-world and mathematical problems involving angle measure, area, and volume. Obviously this was a whole new streamline of mathematics on a completely different level. I was already shaking my head in despair as was not sure on how far I shall make it learning this new unit. Understanding the terms and concepts was the first step, followed by written and given simple arithmetic. It all looked like I was learning the Greek language and was already getting frustrated even when I tried to focus putting aside the attitude problem. However, for some reason and I don't know how and why but I was able to fully comprehend all the math terms, concepts and understood how the problems were to be solved through the examples Mrs. Clemens explained. Although I had my doubts I told myself "I have to work extra hard to make sure I can understand and pass this math class. I am not going to allow myself to be defeated." While saying this to myself, I started remembering the dream I had last night and the message that was written in my math textbook. It was then something got into my head, my body that changed my entire fear, worries and learning attitude of mathematics. Upon completion of the explanation and doing some examples from Mrs. Clemens, it was time to start solving some real world problems on my own. Mrs. Clemens gave us five math problems to solve, this included that we not only had to get the answers but be ready to explain in steps how we got to the answer with pictures if possible. I took at hard good look at the problems and begun writing and solving them in my math notebook. All the problems were solved in twenty minutes; once I was done I put my pencil down and started looking around the classroom to see who else had finished and could see four other students had finished. I started reading the topic in my math textbook, when I noticed Mrs. Clemens glancing at my notebook. She looked at my notebook for quite a long time then looked at me; I looked at her and the other students in my group. I looked at her again and asked "Is something wrong Mrs. Clemens?" She gave me a very interesting shocking look and said "very good" almost as if she had not expected that I was able to solve and complete all the problems in such as very short time. She turned around walking to the other desks then returned to the smart board.
It was time to solve the problems; five students were selected to share their answers in steps with diagrams where applicable to answer the questions. The students selected were Cynthia, Carl (yes they were both once again in my grade 7 class), Eddie, Samantha and I. I was given problem number 5; the last one how fortunate, but it didn't bother me at all, all I needed to do was prove to myself and everyone else especially Mrs. Clemens that even though I am a mixed colored raced student, I am not stupid but a student who is like everyone else and deserved to be treated with some respect and appreciation, a student who enjoys learning and has always loved learning and will do at nothing to make sure she will never be a failure.
The first three students presented their answers, Cynthia, Carl and Samantha struggled in their presentations and they were not able to explain their answers clearly, but their pictures and answers were correct. Eddie on the other hand from start to finish had a brilliant explanation with pictures, didn't even flinch when he concluded his presentation. Finally, my turn, everyone had been looking at me with the anticipation that I was not going to make it and that my answer would be wrong. Without wasting time, I drew the angles, the pictures, wrote the numbers on the pictures, and then explained while writing each step from the left side of the board to the right, not even looking at my notebook. I concluded writing my answer on the board, said thanks and asked if anyone had a question. Funny enough Mrs. Clemens and two other students decided let's challenge her drawings and steps, which I welcomed with a smile. Much to their surprise I explained it well with different perspectives and drawings, and asked once again if anyone had any questions. I looked around, looked at Mrs. Clemens and her reply "Wow, well done Diana, well done." I replied "Thank you" and returned to my seat with the biggest smile on my face. Eddie, who had been seating behind me on the other side, gave me a thumps up and I smiled back at him and continued looking at the smart board and Mrs. Clemens. From that day on my entire world, thoughts and learning attitude on mathematics changed. The girl who once upon a time began hating mathematics finally got the courage to master and bravely take it upon herself to have confidence in not only changing her learning attitude towards mathematics but also her attitude towards Mrs. Clemens proving to everyone and to herself that no matter what challenges, no matter what people think or say about you, the negative vibes and negativity from people, should always learn to defend yourself, learn to have the courage and be brave showing them that nothing with defeat you, discourage, disappoint or pull you down. On this day, I not only proved my worth in math class and solved one of the most difficult math problems, got praised from Mrs. Clemens, but also made a new friend in my class Eddie. My grade seven math class was never going to be the same.
In the following three weeks was busy preparing for my social studies presentation project on the "Greek Civilization", math quiz, and Spanish test. I was also busy with my debate club, archery and badminton club which were going so well. My parents had also signed me up for extra archery classes which were on the weekends from 09:00 AM to 2:00 PM, which were so exciting. Jaime and Chris would occasionally tag along as they had heard so much about how I was quite good at archery so they wanted to see it for themselves. Of course they could not believe their eyes what they were seeing, but as we say "better to see it then believe it" so it was first hand class archery action that they got to experience.
I had so badly wanted to share my math experiences with them but I decided to wait until I finished my social studies presentation and my math quiz then I would share the entire story with them, their parents and my parents.
The day of the presentations and everyone seemed very excited all dressed up in their costumes of their civilizations which was pretty cool and creative. Thank goodness I was not presenting on the first day but was presenting tomorrow, and the math quiz was the following day. The first day of presentations went pretty well, Mrs. Clemens was all over the moon praising everyone for a job well done. I just looked and clapped my hands. The second day of the presentations which included my presentation, I had a Greek outfit which my mum bought for me, had a PowerPoint and video presentation. I didn't need my notes as I had already practiced and practiced with the help of Jaime and Chris so pretty much all the information was registered in my mind. From start to finish, focused on the presentation facing the audience with a 1 minute video, followed by the presentation and for the first time, everyone was looking at my presentation, the entire class including Mrs. Clemens were focused and paying attention to what I was talking about. In the end I had a Q & A session which was quite informative even Mrs. Clemens asked some questions. My entire presentation timed took about six to eight minutes, right on schedule. I was confident that I would ace my presentation without a doubt and with the praises, feedback and comments from my classmates was even more satisfied with my presentation.
The next day we had a math quiz which took the entire class. The math quiz included everything we had been learning for the past two months. I had prepared and studied for the quiz, so I knew most of all the answers to the questions, the only challenge was that each question required a step by step explanation and possibly diagrams for some of the questions. I worked the quiz to the very last minute of the class giving myself five minutes to review all the answers to ensure each question was answered clearly and correctly. I submitted my quiz, returned back to my seat and prepared for my after school activities.
On Friday the last two classes were social studies and math class, we got back our results for the presentations and the math quiz. For the social studies presentation, each group and individual presenters got their scores with feedback. I received my feedback and was a straight A, with positive feedback and wonderful comments!! I could not believe it; I was jumping and dancing with joy with tears running down my eyes. Mrs. Clemens gave her personal feedback on how we all did in our presentations, she was very happy with the results for some groups while others she was disappointed. She continued and gave advice and suggestions on how to improve and make our presentations better in the future. This lasted a whole lesson. The final class of the day was mathematics which I was very anxious as the results of the quiz were out and I could sense from my classmates that not everyone was looking forward to receiving their scores. Mrs. Clemens started calling names of students to collect their papers, so far from what I could tell Eddie and Samantha were the only ones with big smiles which meant they passed. Finally my name was called and as I went to get my paper, everyone was looking at me; they must have already thought that I didn't do very well at all which made me quite nervous and wasn't even sure if I wanted to see my score. I told myself "if I didn't pass I should not worry or sweat it, there will always be a next time." When I got my paper, I closed my eyes for a few seconds, took a deep breath and then opened my eyes, I saw an A-!! Yes, I jumped and got on my knees, had so much joy and everyone was like 'what's going on' 'why is she on the ground?' I stood up, walked over to my seat put my paper on the table and folded my arms, looked at my paper again from the beginning to the end, counting the marks, seeing how each question was scored. My classmates were shocked with my score and as it turned what Eddie told me that not everyone did well in the quiz, five people got above an A while the rest got from B and below. Eddie and I got an A along with three other classmates. I looked at Eddie as he spoke, turned around and looked at Cynthia and Carl, they looked very unhappy with their results. I once again glanced at my math quiz and still could not believe that I had passed with an A and with a big smile on my face, this was going to the day I was to share and tell Chris, Jaime, their parents and my parents all the wonderful events that had happened in my classroom. I stood up getting ready to pack my stuff for the weekend as it was almost home time and all that kept on going through my head was "you did it Diana, you did it!!" "Yes, I did it, finally proved to everyone and to Mrs. Clemens that I can succeed and conquer any obstacle that is thrown my way, can conquer any challenge or difficulty by fighting and never giving up. I managed to turn around all the frustrations, the worries, the fears, the anxiety that I once had to victory. I had faced everything I was going through calmly; giving myself confidence, patience, and encouragement that not only helped me succeed but also helped me become fearless, worthy with respect and praises not only from my classmates but also from Mrs. Clemens.
The weekend was here and was very excited as I could finally relax and feel at ease with myself. I had told Chris and Jaime that I had something to tell them, they could see my endless smiles and were wondering what I looked so happy. I told them, "I will tell you once we get home." Since the beginning of middle school, we had been taking the bus, we had decided that it would be good to experience the school bus for the three years of middle school and if we didn't like it then we will continue to have our parents drop and pick us up from school. Thus far, it was a great experience, not many people took the bus to our community, was roughly between ten to fifteen people and the bus driver was always on time picking up and dropping us off. The driver Mr. Henson was a very nice a kind man, always made sure to see that we were picked up at the gate by our parents before he drove off. He truly cared about our safety and we truly appreciated his patience and kindness as our school driver. When I got home, my mum was already waiting for us as the gate and she had already prepared some snacks and drinks; Chris and Jaime were coming over for a few hours as their parents were not going to be home until 7 PM. My dad was also home which was great as I was so excited to share my stories. I started by telling them "mum, dad, Chris and Jaime, I have some very interesting stories to share with you about what has been happening in my seventh grade class." My mum asked "Oh how long has this been going on?" I replied "for the last four weeks." The shock on everyone's face which was quite worrying but I told them "Not to worry, everything was solved and I am here to tell you from A to Z what happened." So everyone sat in the living room, where I begun to tell my story from the social studies class to the math class, to the project presentations on the "Ancient civilization" to the situation that happened in the math class which Jaime and Chris already knew about. Finally to the math class where we had to solve the five different problems, and then to the quiz which I took out both the quiz paper and the feedback of the social studies presentation and gave to my parents, Chris and Jaime. After I finished telling my stories, there was a moment of silence that filled the room and also a moment of shock as it was not something they were expecting to hear, but in the end they were all very happy and very proud of my achievements, success and most importantly how brave I was in facing all the challenges and difficulties starting from the subjects, to my classmates and to Mrs. Clemens. Of course they had asked many questions of how I did it, why I never told them anything as they would have helped me or tried to talk to the teacher or principals etc. I told them "This was about me and my studies; I needed to challenge myself in learning how to overcome situations, conflicts and misunderstandings and proving to my classmates and Mrs. Clemens that even though I am mixed colored race, I am like every other student, I am not stupid, I can study and learn the same way as everybody else in the classroom, and I deserve to be respected and treated with respect regardless of who or what I am nothing more, nothing less and I did it with confidence, calmly and bravely." I continued saying "I knew if I had mentioned even the slightest problem I had to you or to Jaime and Chris, you were all going to get worried, frustrated, and even angry to the extent that you would head down to the school and look for my teachers and the principal. So to avoid all that fiasco, I decided to take it all on my own, come up with a plan, and put it into action. I told myself not matter what the results would be, bottom line was I tried and gave it my very best." I had never seen my mother cry with so much joy and happiness from her face that she hugged me for the longest time I could remember, even my dad. Jaime and Chris, laughed, gave me a hug and lots of high fives commenting "we are very proud of you but of course as we always tell you, you are never alone and will always be here for you no matter," They were so excited that they were also going to share the stories with their parents. At 7 PM, their parents came and picked them up, unfortunately my mum's eyes were still red from crying and Mrs. Anders and Mrs. Peterson thought something had happened until Jaime said "nothing happened, it was all good stuff today, Mrs. Johnson is just too happy about what happened to her daughter, we will tell you all about it when we get home." Mrs. Anders and Mrs. Peterson replied "ok can't wait to hear about it." We all waved goodbyes and they left.
My mum was still crying but also trying very hard to hold her tears while we all three hugged each other saying "our daughter has grown and has become very mature, we could not have been any more proud of what you told us today, you have truly made our weekend very blessed." My dad turned around saying "we could not have been even more proud of you, you are our joy and blessing." I turned around hugged them again and went upstairs to take a bath, change and tidy up my room. I headed back downstairs to have dinner, helped mum clean the dishes, and watched some television. By 10 PM I was already feeling exhausted, said goodnight to my parents giving them a hug, went upstairs brushed my teeth, and crawled into bed by 10:45 PM, rolled over and slept till the next morning at 10 AM.
The full year episode of grade came to an end in the summer of June 2015; it wasn't the same as previous years when I was so excited at the arrival of the winter and summer vacation. I found myself reflecting on all that had occurred this semester, and just thanking myself for being able to take the stand, being brave facing all the challenges, disruptions, the negativity, and the disrespect that I had to endure from my classmates and teachers. One would expect that I was angry, sad, disappointed, discouraged or was going to have a mental breakdown. Yes, I was disappointed and hurt which was one of the main reasons why I never wanted to involve my parents, Jaime and Chris in all of this, but wanted to take on the issues and resolve them myself. There will come a time in my life that I will have to face all of this again in the real world and may not be able to run to my parents or to Jaime and Chris for help so why not learn how to battle with the conflicts, and the people who disrespect, don't appreciate, don't want to be your friend because you are a mixed colored race. I did nothing wrong, said nothing wrong, and didn't ask or beg them for anything, I am just a regular seventh grade student trying to mind her own business, not causing any trouble or being a disruptive kid in school, but enjoying her studies, working hard to get good grades or even just a pass, that's all! Is that too much to ask for?
I spent the vacation contemplating on everything that had happened during the school year, even spoke with Chris and Jaime about it, as well as my parents. Despite all that, it was still a good school year especially in December celebrating a wonderful Christmas and my birthday with friends and family ending 2014, and welcoming a new beginning a new year of 2015 and completing seventh grade with straight A's, won awards for great academic performances, helped the badminton and archery team win the finals local competitions in the entire Chicago, Chris, Jaime and I were selected to be the representatives for the MUN (Model United Nations) in grade 7 and in grade 8 would be upgraded to Algebra 1 math class. What a fantastic way to end the year, don't you think so?
CHAPTER 11
At last 2015-2016, grade 8, the final year of middle school, the long awaited year had finally arrived that I thought would never happen. I didn't have any expectations on what was going to happen in grade 8, but what I did know was that a serious countdown had already begun for the day I shall finish my middle school years and venture on to high school.
At this moment in grade 8 neither my parents nor Jaime and Chris's parents had any expectations on the three of us being in the same classroom. They had the same thoughts as we did that this was our last year in middle school which they hoped would start well and end well for their children. Our classroom teacher was Mr. Sims with a total of twenty five students in our class, including some of my previous grade seven classmates: Cynthia, Eddie and Carl. There were a few changes that took place in grade 8 starting with the subject, similar to grade 7 we would be learning Language Arts 8, Math 8, Science 8, Social Studies 8. New additional subjects we would be learning included Fine Arts 8 which included dance, drama, music and visual arts (options that we could choose), Physical Education included Health 8, Technology and Career Education 8. As for the foreign languages, I continued with Spanish. For the Fine Arts I choose Dance and Drama. My after school activities remained the same as grade 7; badminton, debate club + MUN (Model United Nations), journalism, and archery club.
It seemed grade eight was going to be an even busier year as it was the year we begun preparing for high school, this also meant lots of project presentations, assessments, meetings and course selections in preparations for high school, sports and drama competitions and ongoing classroom activities. To be quite honest none of what was being presented or would be happening worried me at all and after what I went through in both grades six and seven, I was more than ready to face whatever was thrown to my face. Jaime and Chris were also in different classrooms which in some ways were a good thing as we got to spend lots of time talking about different stuff during recesses, after school and weekends. Although all studied the same subjects, took the same subjects, but the amount of assignments and project presentations we had to do was different which never quite made sense at all. Nevertheless, the good thing was that we were able to meet up after school when we got home and the weekends to help each other out with the assignments, the group and individual presentations.
Mr. Sims our classroom teacher was completely different from Mrs. Clemens and Mr. Simpson. Mr. Sims was a tall man with broad shoulders, handsome white Caucasian man, with brownish golden hair, and had a very deep voice. The minute he started talking we all stopped what we were doing and all eyes were on him and paid attention. To me this was not the key aspect of why I liked Mr. Sims; his teaching approach was very humble and gentle, whenever students had a question or didn't quite understand what he said or taught, he patiently explained from top to bottom pausing to ensure that everyone understood what he said. He would even stay after school just to help the students that were struggling either with math, science or language arts. Moreover, he always chances to everyone and even when students gave the wrong answers he encouraged us and always wanted us to find our mistakes and correct them. Nevertheless, he was quite strict but with good reasons, even when it came to resolving conflicts, he was very fair and with good reasons but consequences was to be faced. I truly enjoyed his lessons, learned a lot from him, his caring nature to all students didn't matter race, gender or color, he was a teacher who really cared and ensured that all his students were treated equally with love and respect. He was a also a teacher who influenced and motivated students and his colleagues encouraging one to always do their very best and fight till the very end no matter the results.
Although this was my last year in middle I felt I was going to end it on a very good and peaceful note knowing I was having one of the best teachers in middle school. News about Mr. Sims had already spread throughout the entire middle school even Jaime and Chris came to check out our classroom teacher just to confirm whether the positive rumors about Mr. Sims were true. It was funny how all over sudden our class was full of students from other grade 8 classes, while others were trying to be friendly thus being able to have the privilege of visiting our class for the sole purpose of getting even a slight glance of Mr. Sims, which was just too funny!! Thank goodness for me just focus on my studies and after school activities and staying out of trouble, less trouble, less drama and less chaos in my life.
The life as an eighth grader was pretty daunting at times because at one point there was the competition of who were the prettiest girl and the most handsome boy in grade 8, then about who is the smartest, brightest, coolest eighth grader, and that was how you ended up having a lot of friends. That was just not so cool to me at all. I even confronted Jaime and Chris about this madness and although I was clearly in my own world, Jaime and Chris seemed to like that entertainment, guess I had to learn to loosen up a little and enjoy the entertainment as well. There were quite a lot of things that my classmates and the rest of the grade 8 students never knew about what I can and could do except Jaime and Chris. For starters having a good memory and being able to remember a lot of information off head especially in my science and social studies classes, secondly, being able to write, solve and explain complicated math problems without using a calculator and best part scoring higher than Eddie in all five math quizzes we had in class, and finally being the champion in archery and badminton two years in a row. Tell me how anyone could beat that….OK not to brag or anything but I sometimes had no clue what was going on in my head or how my body became so powerful at such a young age in having the ability and talent to master all types of skills in academics and sports. I did speak to Jaime and Chris about it, they even witnessed it themselves when we were having the badminton and archery competition in our school. They had never seen anything so awesome and cool in their lives. The fact that I was able to shoot accurately without a miss in the archery competition, and be able to pay three sets in badminton, jumping and hitting the shuttlecock in various corners of the court without a miss was something they didn't understand, neither did I. My parents were also at a loss of words in what they saw happen to me at the badminton and archery competitions and to top it all when they saw how I did my science and social studies presentations without even using any notes, facing the audience and only depending on my PowerPoint presentation. Yes, they were very proud of all my achievements and successes and doing above and beyond extremely well, but at the same time it was alarming for them as they thought something was happening to my body and mind, the fact at the age of 12 I am able to do so much and accomplish so much was something they found very difficult to comprehend.
I also remembered one time over the weekend when my parents were discussing about me, but was not sure what exactly they were discussing. I could hear mum going "should we tell her?" In my mind I am like "tell me what?" then I could hear dad saying "not now as it will be very hard for her to understand and what if she asks about her parents," I was trying very hard to listen carefully to every word they were saying but their voices were too low to make out anything they were saying. I left and went back to my room, started thinking and going over some of what I had heard. I decided not to think too much of it and obviously had I asked my parents what they had been talking about, they would not be willing to tell me anything, so I left it at that and never thought about it, nor had any intensions of asking them. Nevertheless, whatever discussion that was going on that weekend was never a conversation I would forget and was always going to be somewhere in the back of my mind.
For some reason I felt the days, weeks and months in grade eight were flying so fast especially the first semester. Lots of events and activities going in the grade eight and of course the ongoing entertainments, gossips and drama in the corridors, cafeterias, sports games and performing arts activities and on the buses, it was non-stop entertainment, almost like I was in Chicago middle school cinema!! I was also part of the entertainment, gossips and drama which was never pleasant especially being a mixed colored race student and being the champion in archery and badminton, scoring the highest in math, sciences and the yearly assessments this was something very hard for people to swallow and accept in middle school. It was never something that bothered me, and while I didn't really have any friends in grade eight, I knew I never did anything wrong and was very proud of my success and the best part was always knowing I had Jaime and Chris by my side. Speaking of friends, you remember Cynthia and Carl right? Well, they wanted to hang out with me after seeing how well I was doing since grade seven including their friends and friends. They started to talk to me asking if they could be friends, wanting to go everywhere I went and were always concerned with whom I was talking to at lunch and recesses. I did tell Jaime and Chris about it not that they were very keen on wanting to be their friends. It was already clear to me that Jaime and Chris were not interested in making friends with anyone else in middle school and after what I had been through in grade six and seven which they already knew that Cynthia and Carl were in the same class but didn't bother to stand up or help their buddy Diana, that friendship ended for them in grade five. Jaime and Chris never spoke to them ever again since the beginning of middle school. I always thought I was the cold hearted cruel unfriendly person but I realized Jaime and Chris were even worse than me as in once you crossed their lines, they were done, finished with you, blacklisted for life!! They never believed in giving people second chances in life and it was for those reasons I never mentioned Cynthia and Carl's names in front of them ever again. From that day, I also had to distance myself from them, not talk to them even though we were classmates because I knew it would bring problems in my relationships with Jaime and Chris and I was not about to lose my two best buddies and ruin our relationships just because they finally realized that I was OK to be friends with a mixed colored race classmate because she was cool, smart, funny and liked by a lot of people.
The second semester of grade eight was finally here and the countdown continued to when June 2016 which would mark the end of my three toughest years in middle school. Preparations for high school were underway and we had to start thinking about the subject we were to take in grade nine next school year. The number of courses available for grade nine was very extensive and vast but good choices. When we had an information meeting session of grade nine presented by the counselors and principal, Jaime, Chris and I sat together listening attentively to what was being said. I started scribbling notes of the courses I wanted to take in grade nine; chemistry, biology, advanced algebra, physical education and health, English 9, drama and dance, world history, French and Spanish. I forwarded my list to both Jaime and Chris, they both glanced and smiled at me and I automatically knew they were going to choose the same courses. In addition to taking Spanish, was very happy that I could take a second language thus I chose French and was very excited about it. After the meeting, we went straight to the middle office and got the course selection forms and started filling out the courses we wanted to take for grade 9 and exactly as I had written. We had also spoken to our parents and they were all in agreement with the courses we selected. They knew we loved the courses we selected and they were not going to be difficult or challenging for any of us and we wanted to also be in the same classes. We had contemplated on taking all three sciences physics, chemistry and biology but that was going to be too much and we would miss out on other great course opportunity, so left physics for grade ten. Nevertheless, was very pleased that dance and drama classes were offered as a separate course and the classes were at the same time on the same day. I was very happy that I was finally able to take part in a dance class since I have always loved music which was the same for Jaime and Chris. Once the forms were filled, and with the given green light from our parents, we were confident with the courses we wanted and chose and gave the forms to our middle school counselor. From that moment on all I ever kept thinking about was high school, life in high school, the classes, activities, events, and the best part was being able to be in the same classes as Jaime and Chris once again!!
The final weeks towards the end of grade eight were around the corner, there were lots of celebrations going on including birthdays, farewell parties for students who were leaving Chicago moving to another state or country. In addition, had an assembly to not only bid farewell to students and teachers but to also congratulate students who performed very well during the school year. This was going to be my last assembly in middle school and one that would always be remembered in middle school history. Parents were also invited which of course my parents, Jaime and Chris's parents' attended as well. Many students received different awards including Jaime, Chris and I receiving awards for athlete of year boys and girls, Eddie, Chris, Jaime and I received the awards for attaining the highest scores in grade eight, not only in the core subjects but also in the assessments. Eddie, Jaime and I received awards for the mathematics championships in Chicago while Jaime, Chris and Eddie received award for chess championships in Chicago. Other awards included best classroom performance, and best individual classroom performances for each class in grade eight. Eddie and I received for our class which was given to us by Mr. Sims. I was very happy and honored and even gave him a hug and thanked him. I know all eyes were on me while I was getting the awards, but I told myself "If I was not deserving of these awards, I would never have been noticed, recognized for anything, but with my hard work, perseverance, determination, support, love and encouragement from Mr. Sims, my parents, Chris and Jaime is what has gotten me to where I am today and for this I am and will forever be thankful and grateful."
In the summer of June 2016, the school year ended for middle school students especially to all the grade eight students. Through my journey as a middle school student in Chicago middle school I had been through days, weeks, months, and semesters and times when I wasn't sure if I would pull through or make it, hey there were times I just wasn't feeling like going to school at all!! Nevertheless I am not going to lie; I have to say was pretty happy to have made the choice of never doubting myself even with things got rough. There comes a time, a season and a place when you tell yourself enough is enough and if anyone wants to put me down or destroy me they better make sure they aim well because the day I decide to put my foot down and seal all them gossipers, haters, and bullies and the negative vibes that come my way, nothing will ever get in my way. I went through a lot in middle school but came out stronger, mature, better, wiser and even more confident not only in anything and everything I did but most importantly as a mixed colored race person.