Shingo Ichinomiya's life was marked by cunning and manipulation, earning him many enemies. One fateful night, his scheming caught up with him. As he walked home from a late night meeting, he was ambushed by a group of masked assailants. They cornered him in a dark alley, their faces hidden behind black hoods.
"You've made a lot of enemies, Ichinomiya," one of them sneered, brandishing a knife. "Tonight, you pay the price."
Ichinomiya tried to defend himself, but he was outnumbered. The attackers overpowered him, striking him down in the alley. As he lay dying, he realized that his actions had led to his downfall ¹.
As Shingo Ichinomiya's life force faded, he found himself standing before a radiant, ethereal being. The Heavenly entity's presence was both calming and terrifying.
Shingo Ichinomiya stood before the Heavenly being, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
"Ah, a divine audit, how delightful!" Ichinomiya said, bowing mockingly. "I'm surprised you didn't bring a calculator to tally up my sins."
The Heavenly being's expression remained serene, but a hint of annoyance flickered in its eyes.
"Your arrogance is staggering, Ichinomiya. You've caused immense suffering and pain."
Ichinomiya chuckled. "Ah, but that's just good politics. And I'm not sorry. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat."
The Heavenly being's gaze intensified. "You show no remorse?"
Ichinomiya shrugged. "Why apologize for success? I played the game, and I won. You can't deny my skill."
"Silence, Ichinomiya! Your heart will burn not only for your future misdeeds but for your present arrogance!"
"AAARRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH" Ichinomiya's grin faltered as searing pain shot through his chest.
"You, Shingo Ichinomiya, have lived a life of deceit and manipulation," the being declared, its voice like gentle thunder. "Your actions have caused harm and suffering to many. You must face the consequences."
Ichinomiya trembled, knowing he had no defense against the charges.
The Heavenly being continued, "I shall grant you reincarnation, but with a condition: you will carry a curse. If you continue down the path of malice and deceit, your heart will burn with anguish, reminding you of the harm you've caused."
Ichinomiya felt a searing pain in his chest, as if his heart was being branded.
Shingo Ichinomiya's vision faded, and he found himself in a strange, new body. Confusion etched on his face, he stumbled through his first thoughts.
"What in the world...? Where's my sake? And why do I feel like I've been put through a washing machine?"
Suddenly, the Heavenly being's words echoed in his mind.
"Wendelin von Benno Baumeister...?"
Ichinomiya's eyes widened in alarm.
"Wendelin?! What kind of name is that?! Did I win some kind of 'Most Creative Name' award?"
He stumbled, trying to get accustomed to his new body.
"Wait, what's going on? Why did that Heavenly being call me Wendelin? Did I miss a memo? Was there a 'Reincarnation Name Change' form I forgot to fill out?"
Ichinomiya looked down at his hands, half-expecting to see a tag with his new name.
"Shingo Ichinomiya, the greatest politician Japan has ever known, is now...Wendelin? It sounds like a cross between a pastry and a German philosopher!"
He shook his head, chuckling.
"Well, I suppose it's better than 'Ichinomiya McSchemeface'..."
As he stumbled through his new surroundings, Ichinomiya now Wendelin muttered to himself.
"Note to self: find out who's responsible for this naming debacle and give them a piece of my...Wendelin's...mind."
Wendelin lay in his cradle, muttering and fuming.
"Why?! Why a baby?! Can't I just reincarnate as a teenager?! Already potty-trained, already know algebra... Is that too much to ask?!"
He kicked his tiny legs and flailed his arms.
"What's the point of reincarnation if I have to start from scratch?! Diapers, baby talk, and mushy food... Ugh!"
Wendelin's face turned red with rage.
"I demand a redo! Reincarnation 2.0! Teenage edition, please!"
His family and Maid Frau Schmidt laughed and cooed.
Lady Baumeister: "Oh, look! Wendelin's having a tantrum!"
Lord Baumeister: "Ah, he's just expressing himself!"
Maid Frau Schmidt: "Babies are adorable when they're angry!"
Wendelin scowl deepened.
"You think this is cute?! I'm a reincarnated mastermind, stuck in a baby's body! Tragedy, I tell you!"
As they continued to chuckle, Wendelin declared.
"I'll show them. I'll learn to walk, talk, and scheme faster than any baby ever! Mark my words!"
The family laughed even harder, unaware of the determined, pint sized strategist.
"Wah... wah... what's going on?"
He reached out to touch Baroness Katharina's elaborate gown.
"Oooh... pretty... but where's my... my... thing?"
Baron Heinrich chuckled. "Our young lord is curious!"
Maid Frau Schmidt smiled. "Ja, Herr Wendelin is full of wonder!"
Wendelin's eyes widened at the suit of armor.
"Bang! Bang! What's that noisy thing?"
Frau Schmidt explained, "That's your father's armor, little Herr Wendelin."
Wendelin's face scrunched.
"Wah! Want... want... my... my... uh..."
Baroness Katharina cooed. "Not yet, dear. You're still little."
"No... no... no... This can't be... Medieval?! Reincarnated?! As a baby?!"
His mind reeled, memories of his past life flooding back.
"Shingo Ichinomiya... politician... modern Japan... How did I end up here?!"
Baron Heinrich chuckled. "Perhaps he's contemplating his future conquests."
Maid Frau Schmidt cooed, "Ja, Herr Wendelin is a deep thinker."
Wendelin's eyes widened in horror.
"They have no idea... I'm trapped... in this... this... medieval nightmare!"
He struggled to sit up, but his tiny body faltered.
"No... no... This can't be my life... Diapers, castles, and knights?! What about my suits, cars, and smartphones?!"
Wendelin's face contorted in anguish.
"How will I survive... without Wi-Fi... without sushi... without my smartphone?!"
As his family smiled and soothed him, Wendelin's shocked mind whispered.
"YOU DARE TO REINCARNATE ME IN THIS HELLHOLE?!" YOU SHITTY GANDALF.....