Hatred.
A feeling that I have never been able to experience in my life.No,not even once.You'd think someone who has lived 15 years in probably one of the most pathetic places in the world is bound to feel hate at least once in their life,but surprisingly I've utterly failed to comprehend what that word means.
Even now when I'm tied to the stake looking down at the crowd of people infront of me,glaring at me with eyes filled with fear and distrust,I felt neither hate or despair.Instead, a strange emptiness resonated in my heart.
I watched as a man clad in black with a rosary round his neck walked up to me.He held a ignited stick in his right hand and a bible in the left.With each step that he took the dead moonless and cloudless night seem to waver as the light from the flame illuminated everything in its path.
The man looked at me with sympathy flickering in his eyes as he finally stopped infront of me. Of course I knew the man,if anything he was the closest thing I had to a guardian,well… I guess not any more.
After a few brief seconds of staring at each other,he broke eye contact and turned to face the crowd.He began telling a speech to the crowd,making sure they all knew why they were gathered there.Well I'm sure everyone already knew what was going on.
As the man made his speech I couldn't help but stare at the bright flame in his right hand.In a twisted way I found it funny how a small flame would probably consume and devour me,leaving no trace that I ever existed.I hear they say fire is one of the most painful ways to go.Whether that was true or not I just prayed it would be quick.
I could tell you how I ended up here.
Or I could tell you why whether or not it was my fault,It still wouldn't matter.
I will tell you one thing though,and that's my name.
Zenith.
Yes,I know its ironic how I ended living a life that couldn't be further from what my name meant,but theres nothing I could have done to change it.At a glance,my life may have seemed like a cruel joke (Let's be honest it was💀),but it was actually better than most.I've seen tons of people drown and die in a pool of blood,mainly from people they cherished or even themselves.Heck, even I was in a situation similar to that a few weeks a go,back when….
You know what?I'm getting sidetracked.
Whats the point of talking about the past?Why bother when I already know I'm going to die?And as far as I know the past only exists to hold you down.
Finally,the man finished with the crowd and turned his attention back to me,this time he looked at me thoughtfully.He was probably wondering why I did what I did.I was waiting to hear that question from him,but I never did.He set me up ablaze,maybe not wanting to hear what I had to say for myself.Seeing this ,I closed my eyes in acceptance and wondered what would happen next.
Maybe life is just a predestined journey thats already set in stone or maybe people actually have a choice and have the ability to stir their own lives through whatever waters they choose.
Either way I'll never know,after all I am just a deadman.I let out a hopeful smile,making my last prayer as the immolating flames engulfed me.
"God if you really are listening,please just this once take pity on me!!!Even though my life has always been in the clutches of despair,haven't I always turned to you to be my only comfort?!"
With that a bright light engulfed me,I wasn't sure whether it was divine intervention or the flames finally killing me off,regardless it was filled with warmth and comfort.If anything I wanted to stay in it forever.
Soon after the light engulfed me,I was plunged into a sea of darkness.