Ren scanned the quest board, flipping through parchment after parchment.
"Goblin hunting, goblin hunting… ah, here it is! 'Clear out Sarowina Village, infested with goblins. Rank C.' Sounds charming."
Skorn looked over his shoulder, grinning. "Three hundred goblins, huh? Not bad for our first team job. Guess the guild wants to test if we're serious."
Olivia, studying the quest paper with furrowed brows, asked, "So… does it mean we have to bring back... 300 goblin ears?"
Ren sighed, shaking his head. "Pretty much. Standard proof of completion. You sure you're ready for this, Olivia?"
She nodded earnestly. "I'll be in the back, supporting with… encouragement! I can do that well, right?"
Skorn laughed, patting her on the shoulder. "Yeah, 'encouragement' is good. Just, y'know, maybe keep a healing spell ready in case we need more than just cheering."
Talos chimed in, adjusting his glasses with a scholarly gleam in his eyes. "Technically, goblins have a loose tribal structure and often react aggressively when threatened. If we don't approach tactically—"
Ren groaned, cutting Talos off. "Yes, thank you, Talos, but we're not writing a research paper here. Let's just go out, get those goblin ears, and not overthink it."
The group shared a look, the absurdity of their task dawning on them.
They laughed, a little nervously, but then with a collective shrug, they accepted the quest and headed out, ready to tackle the goblin menace,
The group left the guild hall, each with a mix of confidence and skepticism. As they strolled down the road toward Sarowina,
Talos was already deep in his "strategic analysis," which, much to Ren's annoyance, involved him spouting random goblin facts at every step.
"Did you know goblins often have a heightened sense of smell?" Talos explained with enthusiasm. "They can detect intruders from over a hundred feet away!"
Ren gave Skorn a look. "See, this is what happens when you recruit a professor."
Skorn chuckled, glancing at Talos. "Hey, he might come in handy. You never know when a goblin is gonna ask us to solve a riddle."
Talos frowned, adjusting his glasses. "Goblins aren't exactly known for riddles, you know."
Ren smirked. "That was… Sarcasm, Talos."
"Oh," Talos replied, nodding with newfound understanding. "Good to know. I'll keep that in mind."
Olivia, walking a few steps behind, suddenly spoke up.
"So, if goblins have heightened smell… should I, uh, bring perfume?"
Ren stopped in his tracks, giving her a blank stare. "Uh, no, Olivia. In fact, let's not do that. We're trying not to get noticed."
Olivia looked genuinely surprised. "Oh! I thought it was like… if we smelled nice, they'd be friendly."
Skorn burst into laughter. "Yeah, Ren, maybe goblins will appreciate a nice floral scent!"
The group continued down the road, passing through fields and forests. Talos, seemingly oblivious to the mockery, was still engrossed in goblin biology.
"Interestingly, goblins are known to be extremely defensive over territory. They even have a complex system of communication involving grunts and clicks—"
"Fantastic. Can you grunt-click them away if things get hairy?" Ren interrupted, grinning.
"I don't believe that would be effective," Talos replied earnestly, missing the sarcasm again.
After a while, they finally spotted the abandoned village on the horizon. They paused, taking in the eerie silence that clung to the place.
"Alright, team," Ren said, gripping his weapon, "let's go collect some goblin ears. And remember, Talos, if they start grunting at us, that's a sign to run."
__________
As they neared the abandoned village, Ren squinted at the crumbling buildings and overgrown paths.
"You know, this place has 'horror movie jump-scare' written all over it. I'm talking full-on 'zombie town' vibes. "If I see any guy stumbling around like he's half-dead, I'm out.
Talos looked puzzled. "Zombie… town? Is that some sort of danger code?"
"It's more like 'everything here wants to kill you,'" Ren replied, shaking his head. "Basically, imagine every bad choice ever, and that's where we're standing."
Olivia clutched her staff a little tighter. "Well, I just hope there's nothing cursed or... haunted. I've read curses are tough to break."
Skorn smirked. "Relax, Olivia, it's just goblins. Unless they've suddenly decided to host a... seance or something."
Ren laughed under his breath. "Oh great. Goblin cultists. If they're chanting over a cauldron, I'm making Skorn go first."
They moved cautiously, scanning for any signs of goblin life. The silence was thick, almost pressing.
"Y'know," Ren whispered to Skorn, "I keep expecting something to jump out at us any second. This place feels way too quiet."
"Keep dreaming, Ren," Skorn replied with a smirk. "Or should I say… nightmare?"
Ren rolled his eyes. "Very clever. Just remember, if anything here is out of the ordinary, we're doing the smart thing: running in the opposite direction."
Olivia looked concerned. "Are we sure running is a viable strategy? We are here to help, after all."
Ren glanced over at her. "Yes, Olivia, help. But, ideally, help without becoming the next creepy story people tell about this village."
After circling the edge of the eerie village, the team finally stumbled upon a hidden cave entrance tucked between two jagged rocks. Ren took one look inside and muttered, "Well, I guess that explains the silence. Goblins love their creepy hideaways."
Skorn squinted into the dim cave, then scoffed. "And look at that. A bunch of 'traps' laid out like they think we're all half-blind."
Ren chuckled, stepping closer to examine the goblins' handiwork. "Yeah, if by 'traps' they mean bits of rope tied to rocks that could barely trip a toddler. Not exactly expert craftsmanship."
He turned to Olivia. "Still, maybe stick close. I don't trust these little gremlins not to surprise us with at least one clever trick."
Olivia nodded, her brow furrowed. "So… these traps are meant to… slow us down?"
"More like annoy us," Ren replied, picking up a goblin's attempt at a noisemaker—a rusty bell loosely tied to a twig. He held it up with a smirk.
"If this is their idea of security, we might be overqualified."
Skorn snorted as he nudged a flimsy pit trap covered by some loose twigs and leaves. "Yep, I'm shaking in my boots here."
Just as they moved deeper, Ren nearly tripped over a thin string stretched across the floor. He paused, inspecting the "trap" with a skeptical look.
"Oh, this is a good one. They're really upping the ante here." He glanced back at the others with a grin. "Who knows, maybe they'll surprise us with something that actually works."
As they ventured further, they began hearing shuffling and muttering from deeper in the cave. Ren sighed, drawing his weapon. "Alright, team, here come the welcoming committee. Let's show them what real adventurers can do."
With a shared look of determination (and maybe a little pity for the goblins' efforts), they braced themselves as a clumsy horde began to rush toward them,
unaware they were up against more than just their simple traps could handle.