*Ana*
I blindly run ahead, not even sure if this is the right way or not. But does it really matter anymore? Does anyone of it at this point?
No, it doesn't. Another painful sob rips free from my gaping mouth, while tears pool, curling under my chin. But even then, as my legs ache and burn, I just dig harder. Feet pushing, running, needing to get away. Because I was wrong. About everything.
I was the only one who thought…
"Stupid! Idiot!" The words fall so easily out of my mouth, as if always on my tongue, ready to be used.
"How could I be so stupid?!" My voice cracks, harshly cursing, as my lungs burn for air.
I curve right, then left, then follow down a longer path. Maybe it's this way? I can only hope. But I'm going so fast, everything is just a blur, giving me no clue, no hint if I've been here or not. I could see if I was just going a bit slower. But that's impossible. Because he saw me.
Nicoli saw me, and he just…
"No," I whimper digging in my feet as I face yet another dead end, the wall of leaves mocking me., blocking my view, my escape. If only they weren't here, I could get out. I could get back to Mykhol and Naska and…
"But still, I-" Another sob rips through, making me double over, clenching at the leaves. Why did I even come here? Why did I think anything would change?
When will I ever learn that nothing ever good happens for me-
"Ana, Stop!" The muffled voice, meanwhile, cries out again, behind me, sounding closer. Again making me think someone really is trying to catch up to me. But that can't be true.
It can't be. No, my ears are just playing with me. Just like my eyes can't trust a single thing I read. I can't trust anything.
Because I misunderstood. Nothing is different. No one wants me here.
Just like how it's not Nicoli's voice calling for me. Because no one is. It's always just me, always going to be just me and-
"The stairs!" I cry out when I see them, not far now. I'm almost free. Just a little more, and I force my feet to dig deep into the ground, making another shock of pain run up my calves. My lungs are on fire now, and acid is on the back of my tongue.
But the stairs are just ahead, I can't stop now. Not when I'm so close to being free.
I just need to take another right… and another right …then straight…right…then left…and the castle is looming right ahead, the entrance is in sight. I only need to press a little harder.
Almost there… Almost…
"Ah!" The scream is already out of my lips before I even realize it's mine. Everything moving so quickly, as I watch helplessly as the sky and the ground switch places, hands grasping forward in the air, as something must have caught the end of my gown, yanking me off my feet, and taking me backward.
I quickly shut my eyes, bracing for the pain I should feel soon any minute now when my body makes contact with the ground. Helplessly just waiting for the slam down into the grass, dirt, and rocks as I fall right back on my-
"Ah-" My cry falls short, or rather, dies on itself as I open my eyes to rapidly blink in confusion.
That's…odd. I look up as a firefly passes above, the sky above me. I'm…not in pain? I blink, noting no ache or rocks digging into my skin.
No, there's none of that. Rather, it's surprisingly soft. And…warm?
"Umphf…ow," A groan comes up, but it's not right, the pitch is too deep. And it sounds muffled as if something is underneath me.
Underneath me? Wait, what? Immediately, I flip around to look back at what exactly I really landed on. But if I thought I was prepared, maybe to see a flower bed or a special kind of grass or something, I'm wrong.
"What are you…?"I am completely wrong as I can only stare after it, wide-eyed, as he moves again.
"Ugh," Nicoli, meanwhile, groans again, bunching up his nose, in a soft wince. "That…hurt," He says before opening his eyes.
"Oh!" I gasp not ready to find two beautiful sapphires staring back at me. And suddenly, it's all a blank. I can't think, speak, or even move. Unable to do anything but stare back at the boy beneath me.
And it seems, Nicoli could only do the same. Each of us freezing on the spot, just staring after each other. Taking in the sight of the other.
He's… much more handsome in person. This is the first thing to come to mind, as I can't help but think the painting missed that. Among other things, I notice, my heart beating a little faster as my eyes roll down him.
Nicoli is taller. Even on the ground, I can tell he's taller than me. And would likely grow even taller still. It wouldn't be a surprise to find him towering over me one day.
And he smells… different too. I didn't think that was possible. But he does, like…a campfire in winter? Whatever it is, it makes my head spin a little each time I breathe. The smell pooled into my lungs, and oddly, made my fangs tingle.
But why would they…? But I don't get to dwell for an answer, as Nicoli groans again, shifting beneath me, to pull an arm free.
"Oh!," I squeak suddenly aware. What am I doing just sitting on him right now? I might have hurt him. What if I did? But that just leads to darker questions.
What if he's…disgusted? I freeze up at that, suddenly feeling my skin crawl as I realize I just might have made this worse.
"I'm s-sorry- I.. I didn't mean to.." My voice trembles as I close my eyes, not sure what to expect.
Is he going to yell? Push me off? Run away? The last one makes me shiver, holding in a quick sob, as I try to brace for whatever it is.
"I know you must be," Furious but the words stall on the tip of my tongue as his voice cuts over.
"Did you get my letters!?" Nicoli's voice rushes out, breathy, as if he's already trying to hold an excited laugh.
"What?" I blink my eyes open slowly, not sure what I just heard, before tilting my head back down to find him already starting with that bright grin of white teeth. That same mischievous smile looking back at me. Just how it used to be.
Just how…?And that's all I need
"Your…Letters?" My voice falls as I crumble over, burying my face into his chest, clinging tightly to his white nightgown, and begin to sob. Shaking all the way through as my cries sound off, my hands tightly balling into the cotton cloth, as if to anchor him down, making sure he won't ever disappear from my life again.
-x-
I shouldn't have cried like that. I move to wipe my eyes. Grateful now, that I'm calmer, but still, what was I thinking?
I'm the older one here. I have to chide myself. So I can't afford to act so childish. I must be a good role model. I have to be better for Nicoli and-
"Here," Nicoli, meanwhile, moves, taking my hand, before wrapping his calloused fingers around mine, and helping pull me up.
"I…thank you" I manage to squeak out, still finding a slight pause, as if not sure if this is even happening. But the warmth of his hand mine, gives me a little more assurance that it is.
He's here. I still can't believe it, but he is. Nicoli is here. And he isn't running. No one is.
"So…" Nicoli begins, shifting on his feet after a slight moment of silence falling between us. "It… took a whole party to get you back, huh?" He goes on before grinning. "If I knew that was all, I would have done so sooner." Nicoli squeezes my fingers, smiling at me again, moving to tuck another hair behind my ear, shifting the gold bands on my shawl.
"Way earlier," Nicoli goes again, lowering his hand, still looking after me. His sapphire eyes were so surprisingly warm and gentle, that I had to look down to catch my breath a moment.
"Well, I…when you suddenly just sent an invitation like that." I start, checking to feel his hand in mine as if to make sure again. "I…thought it would be alright to come back now." I go on, looking up at him, tentatively. "That I was forgiven." And I stopped, still slightly unsure if that was completely true or not.
"Forgiven?" Nicoli, meanwhile, tilts his head, watching me with a slight frown. "Forgive what?"
"Forgive…"But my voice trails off, suddenly not sure if even I can accurately describe that strange morning, five years back. All the terrible sounds, the tears, the pain… So instead, I don't. I go with the next best thing I know that's true.
"I…" I steal a pause and collect myself before going on, calmly. "I…thought you hated me. Till now."
"Hate you?" Nicoli pops up his head, looking after me, wide-eyed. "Hate you?" He repeats as if waiting for me to correct him, which I don't. And only make him shake his head after me.
"Ana," Nicoli starts, blinking those sapphire eyes at me. "No, I would never, why would you ever think that?"
"Because you ran away from me." I go, moving to point back at the entrance. "I was standing right there." That day it snowed and you turned and ran away. "So I thought…"
"That day-" Nicoli looks back, staring after the spot before his eyes darkened. "That day I was-"
"It's okay, Nicoli." I go, looking back at him. "If you don't want to speak of it. I understand." I curl my fingers over his. "Let's just focus on the now," I tell him contently because I am.
Because right now, I'm holding Nicoli's hand. And that's more than enough for me.
But Nicoli seems to shift at my words.
"Nicoli?" I ask when I see another dark shadow cross his face, before he turns, pulling me along, holding my hand tighter. "Nicoli, what's wrong?" Did I say something? "Nicoli, I- What did I-"
"All those letters, and that's what you think?" Nicoli goes.
"Wha-?" Is he mad? Did I say something wrong? "Nicoli, I'm sorry if I-"
But Nicoli just pulls me closer, seeming to head right back into the maze with purpose.
"We got a lot of catching up to do," Nicoli speaks as if determined by something that makes his sapphire eyes shine as he charges in, pulling me along.
"We do?" My question makes Nicoli laugh, a sweet and well-missed sound.
"Yeah, A lot." Nicoli goes on, pulling me closer to shift his hand free before I can even think to protest, and just wrap his arm around my waist. But first things first" Nicoli slowed a moment, seeming to notice my struggle to catch my breath. I'm really not used to so much exertion in one day. My heart is nearly jumping out of my chest.
Or is that because we are together again? I swallow gulps of air before nodding, I'm okay, and he can go on.
Nicoli nods his arm back around my waist. Looking ahead again.
"I have to keep my promise." Nicoli goes, on, beaming.
"Promise?" What promise? I look after him clueless, but Nicoli widens his smile.
"I told you, last time, remember?"
I shake my head at him.
"Ah, well," Nicoli only goes before he does it. It happens so quickly, that I can't even react as he is back to talking again.
"I have to show you the fountain, remember." Nicoli leads on, taking us deeper into the maze, clearly knowing his way. But I forget to pay attention anymore as I slowly move to touch my cheek. My fingers finding and resting on the place, that now tingled warmly from his kiss.