The bell rang, and I was out of my seat before the sound had even faded, my stomach growling like a caged beast finally let loose. My cheeks flushed as a few heads turned in my direction, but I didn't care. Hunger had its claws in me, and nothing else mattered.
For someone who just started eating real food just a few days ago, my body seem to be going through withdrawals without it. My strides matched the eager pace of the other recruits heading toward the dining hall.
Actual food.
If someone had told me a few days ago that I'd be eating real food and on a daily basis, I'd have called them out of their damn mind. The thought alone had my mouth watering, though the unfamiliar idea of food as something to savor still felt foreign. Alien, almost.
The massive stone building loomed ahead, its tall arched windows catching the midday sunlight like shards of glass scattered across a field. It looked more like a cathedral than a cafeteria. Inside, the dining hall was breathtaking. Sunlight streamed through floor-to-ceiling windows, painting the polished stone floors in shifting patterns of gold. Wooden tables stretched in long rows, flanked by benches worn smooth from years of use.
The air hit me like a blow—roasted meat, freshly baked bread, and something sweet and spiced that sent my head spinning. My stomach twisted sharply, a combination of hunger and something far harder to define. A few days ago, food had been nothing but a concept. Nutrient solutions pumped into my veins were all I'd known for years. Now, this—this vibrant, rich reality—felt almost... indulgent. Too much.
Elaeya nudged me gently, her voice breaking through the haze. "You okay?"
I forced a quick nod. "Yeah. Just... hungry."
Hungry was an understatement. The buffet stretched before me like something out of a dream—or a fairy tale. Juicy roasted chicken with crisp, golden skin. Bright, colorful vegetables glistening with oil and herbs. Loaves of bread crusted and golden, waiting to be slathered with butter. And desserts—good gods, the desserts. Pies, pastries, cakes that seemed to call my name.
Elaeya grabbed a tray from a nearby stack, and I followed suit, mimicking her exactly. If she noticed, she didn't say anything. My fingers gripped the tray tightly as I moved to the buffet, trying to keep pace with her while my gaze darted to the food. It was a feast, more food than I'd ever seen in my life, all of it vibrant and golden and so real.
I grabbed a plate and began to pile it high, ignoring Elaeya's raised eyebrow. Roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, grilled vegetables, two slices of bread. And because my traitorous sweet tooth wouldn't shut up, I added a delicate slice of pie to the edge of my tray.
"Feeding a battalion, are we?"
I shot her a look, clutching the tray like it might disappear. "Making up for lost time."
She let out a soft laugh, shaking her head as she selected a modest plate of fruit and salad. I followed her to a table near the window, where sunlight spilled across my skin like a warm embrace. It felt grounding somehow, anchoring me to this moment. To the reality of being here.
Sitting down, I hesitated, my thoughts shifting back to Mira, the fork heavy in my hand. But the smell, the sight—it was too much to resist. I took a bite of the mashed potatoes first, and the flavor hit like a revelation: creamy, buttery, rich. A groan escaped before I could stop it.
Elaeya smirked as she took her seat across from me. "Good?"
"Good?" I managed, my voice muffled by another bite. "It's a goddamn religious experience."
She laughed, "You're such a drama queen," she said with a soft smile, shaking her head as I devoured my meal like a starved animal. And maybe I was, in more ways than one. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this kind of joy, this kind of warmth. The food was real, tangible proof that I was alive, that I was free.
By the time I finished eating, my tray was spotless, not a crumb left to tell the tale of the feast I'd just devoured. My stomach was full, almost uncomfortably so, but the warmth spreading through me was worth it. I leaned back, letting out a quiet sigh, my fingers tracing lazy patterns on the edge of the table. For the first time in what felt like forever, I wasn't just fed—I was satisfied.
Elaeya raised an amused brow, her fork paused mid-air as she picked at the remnants of her salad. "Feel better now, or should we fetch you another tray?"
I shot her a half-hearted glare, though the edges softened with a grin. "I could eat another round. But I think they'd kick me out before I managed it."
She laughed, shaking her head. "You're like a starved wolf."
I shrugged, unbothered by the teasing. Maybe I was. Every bite had been a reminder of what I'd missed, a chance to reclaim something that had been stolen. The thought of Mira tugged at the corner of my mind again, but I shoved it away. Not now. Not here.
Instead, I rested my elbows on the table and let my gaze wander, scanning the room as others finished up their meals. Despite the chatter and clinking trays, the hall felt oddly peaceful. No one seemed to notice me—or if they did, they weren't making it obvious. It was a rare reprieve.
Elaeya sipped her drink, watching me with a thoughtful expression. "We've got some time before the evening schedule. Want to check out the library?"
"The library?" I raised an eyebrow, forcing my tone to stay light. "As in books, silence, and... no food?"
"Yes, genius," she said with a grin. "It's not just dusty scrolls and old books, you know. They've got histories, maps, magical records—everything you could want to learn about the academy or the courts."
I hesitated, keeping the smile on my face. I really wanted to go but my chest tightened at the thought of being cooped up in yet another room. I'd already spent more time indoors today than I could handle without feeling the walls press closer, but I couldn't exactly explain that. She didn't know, and I wasn't about to bring it up.
Instead, I sighed dramatically, leaning into the act. "Fine. But if I spontaneously combust from sheer boredom, it's on you."
She laughed, standing and motioning for me to follow. "Trust me, you'll love it. Come on."
As we left the hall, I cast one last glance at the sunlight spilling through the windows. For the first time in a long while, I felt... full. Not just my stomach, but something deeper. Something I wasn't quite ready to name.
The walk to the library was mercifully short, though it felt longer under the weight of prying eyes. Every recruit we passed seemed to pause in their stride, their gazes lingering too long before they whispered to the person beside them. Some didn't even bother to lower their voices.
"Looks like you've gotten popular," Elaeya said, her tone light, though her eyes darted to each passing group like she was taking note of who stared the hardest.
"My lifelong dream," I muttered, rolling my eyes as I crossed my arms, trying to shrink into myself.
She chuckled but didn't respond, her steps quickening as we approached the massive double doors of the library.
I had never been inside a library before—not a real one, at least. I've seen pictures of one during the time they taught us to read but this, though, was different, and I was quite excited to walk into one. My nerves buzzed with a strange mix of excitement and unease as we stepped through the heavy oak doors.
The inside was... overwhelming. Towering shelves stretched toward the vaulted ceiling, crammed with books that smelled like leather, ink, and age. Sunlight streamed through arched windows, painting the wooden floors in golden streaks. Recruits were scattered on desks, studying quietly. The air felt still, almost reverent, as though even a whisper would disturb its peace.
Elaeya led us to a counter near the back, where I assumed the librarian—Is that what they were called?—would be stationed. But it wasn't the sight of an elderly figure flipping through pages that caught my attention. It was Ember, leaning casually against the counter with the smugness of someone who knew they didn't belong but enjoyed being there anyway.
He straightened when he saw us, tucking his hands into his pockets with a carefree grin. "Well, well, look who's already adapting to recruit life already," he said, his voice loud enough to echo faintly against the shelves.
Elaeya greeted him with a bow. "Commander Ember."
"At ease, recruit," he replied, patting her shoulder lightly. Her ears twitched, and her cheeks flushed bright red.
I could sense recruits staring and eavesdropping, but I couldn't care less at this point.
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. "What are you doing here? I didn't peg you for the reading type."
He raised a brow, his grin widening. "Hey, don't judge a book by its cover. Or in this case, a devastatingly handsome Fae male by his looks."
I snorted. "Devastatingly modest, too."
He winked before turning to Elaeya. "And who's this? Your new partner-in-crime?"
"This is Elaeya. We met this morning. Elaeya, you already know who he is, unfortunately."
Elaeya elbowed me while casting a look of awe towards Ember.
"Thank you for looking after Small, Elaeya." Ember said warmly, making Elaeya's pointed ears twitch again.
I groaned. "I still think that nickname is ridiculous."
"Ridiculous?" Ember placed a hand dramatically over his chest. "Elaeya, do you think so?"
Before she could answer, movement caught my eye. My heart stopped, my breath freezing in my lungs. A goblin, small and hunched with grayish-green skin and a wiry white mustache, was walking toward us with a stack of books in his spindly arms.
The Pits slammed into me like a physical blow. The smell of blood and decay. The sound of twisted snarls. Goblins tearing hearts from chests, their claws dripping red.
My body reacted before my mind could catch up. I lunged.
The goblin yelped as we crashed to the floor, books scattering around us. My knees pinned his arms, and my hands shot to his head, ready to snap his neck. He struggled, hissing and flailing, but I was stronger.
"Jay, stop!" Ember's voice cut through the haze, but it felt distant.
"It's a goblin!" I snarled. "It'll kill everyone!"
Strong hands grabbed my shoulders, hauling me off the goblin and pinning me against the wall. My vision blurred with rage and panic as I thrashed in Ember's grip.
"Let me go!" I shouted. "It's going to kill people!."
"Jay." Ember's voice dropped, sharp and commanding. He gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Hey. Fucking look at me."
I blinked, my breathing ragged, as his face came into focus. "You don't understand. I've fought them. They—"
"The goblins you fought in the Underground were twisted by forbidden magic. This isn't them. This one is our librarian. He's harmless."
"No," I whispered, shaking my head. "No, they're—they're monsters. They tear out hearts—"
"Not this one," Ember said firmly. "Jay, goblins are peaceful herbivores. They hoard knowledge, not organs. Look around. No one here is in danger except the poor bastard you just tackled."
I followed his gaze. Elaeya was helping the goblin to his feet, his mustache quivering with rage as he pressed a cloth to a bleeding cut on his head. Recruits were gathered in a semi-circle, staring at me like I'd just grown another head.
The goblin glared at me, his voice a sharp snarl. "That recruit just tried to kill me!"
"I—I'm sorry," I stammered, my voice cracking. "I thought—"
"You thought what?" he snapped. "That I'd eat your heart? Are you stupid? Commander, is this the kind of recruit you're letting in now?"
Ember sighed, releasing me. "Calm down, Muli. She's the one I told you about."
The goblin froze, his glare softening slightly. "Oh. Well, that doesn't excuse her behavior. Damned fools, all of you." He waved his hands at the recruits. "Show's over! Get out of my library!"
The recruits scattered like startled birds, their whispers echoing down the halls as they fled. I stood there, frozen, my hands trembling at my sides.
Ember clapped me on the shoulder, his grin returning. "You're okay. Muli's a grumpy motherfucker, but he'll get over it. Eventually."
Great. Another scene. Another fuck-up. I couldn't make it through a single day without setting the entire academy on edge.