It was not the presence of someone which woke me up, but rather the absence. Years of spending my retirement together with my Scarlet Witch had created a kind of used to. Used to her being there when the nightmares woke me up, used to her being there when I finished my morning shower, used to her being there reading a book when I returned from my afternoon run, used to her being there to snuggle up against during a movie night, used to her being there when the memories became too real. She was my home, my everything, and I would not want it any other way.
Now, turning around in the bed it felt awfully big with her body not pressed next to mine. Something was wrong. I got out of bed as soon as my legs allowed me and looked around. For the untrained eye everything looked the same. The filter system of the aquarium from the fish Wanda had wanted was making its annoying sounds, the ceiling fan was humming gently and the alarm clock informed me it was 03:47. Nothing out of the ordinary you would say. However, my trained eye could spot the faintest red light coming from outside. On my bare feet I quickly walked towards the doors leading to the terrace and opened them softly.
It was a full moon and the entire area was bathed in its light. We lived remote, away from the prying eyes of people. Sure they were grateful for the fact that we saved many of their lives but no matter how hard we tried, we were never capable of saving everybody. So there was always someone's brother who didn't make it, or someone's daughter who had gone missing, or someone's father who had got hurt… Gratitude is a short-lived emotion, and resentment always catches up in the end. Wanda couldn't handle disappointing all of these people, so we had made the decision to move to a place away from all of it. King T'Challa was more than happy to offer us a place in Wakanda, which we had accepted gladly.
It was a warm night, a peaceful night. That was until a flash of red went through the sky. I looked up, searching where it came from. My attention got drawn to the fire escape ladder that led to the rooftop. Although the fire escape ladder was primarily for maintenance, an intuition tugged at me, suggesting there might be something—or someone—awaiting me at the top. There was not a single feeling of doubt in my body as I started the climb. When I was almost at the top I got to hear it. The only sound in the world that could break my heart into a million pieces: Wanda's cries.
Hopping over the metal bar at the ladder's top, I carefully planted my feet on the rooftop and took in my surroundings. What I saw absolutely tore me apart: Wanda was sitting on her knees, with her hands in front of her face, bent forward touching the floor. I could not see the tears but I could see her body shaking and could hear them. Red swirls of magic were whirling all around her, like a miniature hurricane. I knew it was dangerous to be even close to her right now, one touch of that magic could have me flying off the building, but there was no way I was going to leave the love of my life alone when she was in this much pain.
"Wanda!" I called out.
I watched as she slowly opened her eyes, revealing orbs as red as blood. A soft shake of her head preceded her retreat, her hands covering her face once more. As she withdrew, I couldn't help but notice the storm of swirling red magic intensifying around her.
"I'm not leaving you Wanda." I yelled, while softly placing one foot in front of the other towards her.
"Don't…" She whispered, the pain oh so very clear in her voice.
"Don't what?" I knew of course, but distracting someone while gaining ground was always a good tactic, no matter the situation.
"Don't come."
"Of course I'll come. Don't you know me by now, I'm too stubborn to listen to you."
"I'll hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, I'll lose you. I can't lose you Nat!" The last word was accompanied by a pulse of her magic and it took me all of my power to keep standing. I was so close, I was almost there.
"Wanda, moya dorogoya… Look at me, please." It must have been something in my voice but she listened and her pain filled eyes found mine. The red of her irises seamlessly blended with the tears streaming down her cheeks, creating a blur where one shade of crimson transitioned into the other. It destroyed me inside, to see the love of my life hurting like this.
"You're not alone, let me help you carry this. Please. Мы едины (We are one)." I reached out my hand towards her and prayed with every inch of my being that this would be enough and that she would accept it.
Time seemed to stretch endlessly, until finally, her hand moved toward mine with a soft, hesitant grace. First it were her fingers that touched, and then her palm, and then I could barely catch her in time because she fell into a million pieces in my arms.
I don't know how long we sat like this, the crimson storm raging around us, covered in moonlight with the quiet of the dark surrounding us. She was crawled into a little ball with her head resting on my stomach. My t-shirt was slowly turning into a wet mess but I barely noticed it. I played with her brown locks and softly hummed a Sokovian lullaby she had taught me. There was no need to talk.
After an infinite amount the swirls started to calm down. I had been looking out in front of me, watching the sunrise slowly taking over the horizon. When I looked down, I saw her deep green eyes looking back at me. She took a deep breath, and I saw her getting ready to give me an explanation so I quickly put my finger over her lips.
"Don't. I understand, just know that I will always be here for you, no matter how bad it will get."
I pressed a soft kiss against her lips and pulled her close, never wanting to let her go.
When you think the night has seen your mind
That inside you're twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands
'Cause I see you