I kept staring at the bottle of sleeping pills in my hand with only one thing occupying my mind. I knew it was wrong and that once everyone passes, things will go back to normal. They had to go back to normal but it was all my fault. Had I just listened to the concerns of my bandmates... had I just paid more attention to my environment... Had I just been mature about my social status maybe his child would've lived a good life.
I took away the very basic right of that child. Because of me, that child never got to see their own parents. It's a sin I can't possibly pay for no matter what I did.
I know they are all angry at me because it is not just a fuck up. My actions destroyed their lives. Sex trafficking... rape... spiking drinks... these are not the allegations one can come back from. My life is as good as over at this point and yet I ruined lives of those who merely cared for me. I think suicide is easier than asking for forgiveness.
My own parents have disowned me, my bandmates hate me, my fans have turned their back against me and even then media is ruining whatever is left of my reputation, so, what's the point of being alive anymore?
I want to fight back but why? For my band? For dignity of my family? For love of my fans? None of them care anymore so there is no reason anymore.
As I was contemplating my own emotions, my phone rang again and it was Ryuu. And for the first time I felt scared of picking it up. I was scared of what he had to say but even then, reluctantly, I picked up the phone.
"Hello...?" I said, hesitantly.
"Ace, I know things have been too hard on all of us, I know other said... some rather... how do I put it... tch... you get me, right? We are all at the hospital and it's just been rough for us but please don't let all this get to you. Everyone right now is frustrated but we will pull through this... together. Tai is not handling it all well... his wife is currently in emergency care. I would prefer if you didn't come. I hope you understand."
A leader till the end, huh? It was me who didn't deserve you.
I just hung up without responding.
I don't think I deserve a closure.
...
I woke up in a random forest with a slight headache.
"Is this afterlife...?" I sat up and looked around. The meadow spanned as far as my eyes could see and the scenery was far to ethereal for it to be Earth. The grass had a slight glow to them while the flowers were radiating something akin to golden dust. "Heaven? Not possible. Did the sleeping pills work... ?
For now the best action was to make a move and see where I am right now but my body felt too heavy. Right... After what happened, I deserved this fatigue and pain. With heavy steps, I made my first move but it lead to nowhere. I had found a path that resembled a road and I kept following it for hours and yet I found no end to it. There was absolutely no life in sight.
As hours passed, my hope dwindled for any sign of humanity but just then I heard something, it was a horse carriage...?
"Hey!" I waved my hands hoping it would notice me and it did.
The carriage came to a stop right in front of me. The carriage had edges plated in what looked like gold and it looked very sturdy as well from the look of it.
"Yes?" The coachman asked.
"Where is the most nearby city?" I asked and he looked at me totally perplexed.
"It would take you three days... or four... if you plan to walk all the way there." He answered.
"Why has the carriage stopped?" A rather strong female voice came from the carriage. Out came a rather gorgeous woman with blonde hair and red eyes. She was wearing a metal armor implying she was a knight of sorts. I raised my eyebrow wondering why someone would be wearing such an outfit with such an elaborate carriage. I wondered if I had come to a scene of some drama. But this was all too real.
"I was just asking for directions. Uh... I'm Ace. It's a pleasure to met you."
"Ace? I'm Astrid Meulen. The royal knight for the kingdom of Batlisia. You don't seem to be native to the kingdom." She spoke.
"Ah... I'm a traveller from afar. A mere gleeman, if you will." I answered but then another voice from the carriage. This time the source seemed to be someone rather young. The woman in question peeked from inside the carriage. From what I could see, she seemed to be a rather important figure given her gown and jewelry.
"Can you sing for me? If I liked it then you will be handsomely rewarded." She smiled at me. There was something innocent about her but that aspect lacked in the knight.
"As you wish." I cleared my throat but all that came to mind were songs I had performed with NIGHTFALL. I stood there wondering if I should even sing them. Do I deserve to sing them anymore..?
"Hey?" Astrid called out to me.
"Just thinking of an appropriate song." I chuckled nervously and decided to sing my solo song instead. It was a song I had written when NIGHTFALL was going through a hard time because of Rex. The lyrics were remarkably simple and raw. I wanted the lyrics to more simple so that I could convey my emotions better but given the current scenario, I kind of lost myself to the song and ended up slightly overperforming for my standards.
"Oh my... we have quite a singer here." The woman in the carriage spoke. "Well... I cannot lie. I'm indeed impressed. Well as for your reward, how about we give you a ride to the nearest city. In fact we are going there."
"But first, I would be required to thoroughly check if you have a weapon on you or not." Astrid spoke. I understood it was for the safety of everyone as I was a total stranger to them so I let her check me. "You... have such a deep wound on your palm? Lucky for you, we have a healer onboard." She spoke. I looked at my palm with a disheartened look. A wound to remind me of my great disaster.
"No... need to heal it. It doesn't hurt." I responded as I didn't want this scar to ever go away. "But... healer...? You mean a doctor?" I asked.
"What's a... doctor?" She asked in turn.
"N-nothing..." I responded as it struck me. A woman looking like a princess, a knight, a healer and a horse carriage... Right, so I was now in a fantasy world. But all I could do was thank myself for taking that step. Now no one has to get hurt because of my existence.
I got into the carriage and sat next to the knight, Astrid.
"So, tell me more about you. Your clothes...? You don't seem to someone from this kingdom." The woman asked. "Ah! My apologies, I haven't introduced myself. I am Luna De Batlisia. The eldest daughter of the royal family."
"I-... I see." I responded as I knew I had gotten myself in a rather peculiar situation. If this was a fantasy world and if she was a queen, I had to be really careful with what I say and how I say it. "I am Ace. Just Ace. I don't have a last name." I said remembering that my dad did disown me so technically I didn't have a family anymore.
"Ah! I see. So I'm assuming you don't belong to aristocracy?" She asked.
"Definitely not. Actually... I don't remember much on how I got here. All I remember is that someone had attacked me and next thing I knew I was here... It could be slave merchants. But I don't know why they left me behind." I said hoping that slavery was a thing in this world given its setting. This explanation could save me a lot of time and energy.
"I see. We have been trying to track them down but it seems they're in cahoots with the aristocrats. But it's for the best that you are at least safe." She said.
"Those bastards can really do a number on society at times. But I wouldn't call our efforts meaningless. We have made progress despite it not accounting to much. But then again, I can't disrespect the efforts of the knights who are working day in and day out." Astrid added in.
Slavery... Even I was accused of trafficking. Last few days are something I would never want to live again. I still have skills, talent and drive. If I tried really hard, I could make a career here in this world and live as a solo artist.
Hours passed without me saying a word to them, I kept staring outside the carriage window reminiscing about the days I spent with my bandmates. I think I spent more time with them than my own family and then I just had to ahead and not just ruin everything, Tai lost his child because of me and that is something I can not turn back. And now all I can do is atone for my sins but how can I even do that? I gave up my life but was it too cowardly? Maybe because I didn't want to face reality and yet here I am. If there is a higher power out there, it wants me to live through it. Taking my own life seemed like an easy way out.
I have to live with my sins. I have no other option.
"Hey? Is everything okay?" Luna asked with a worried expression.
"Huh? Nothing is wrong. I'm just... taking it all in. I mean I'm in a place I don't know..." I chuckled nervously.
"I guess you aren't taking it well? It is understandable. I guess Astrid, then, get you adjusted to this new place and get you going on a job too as an adventurer."
"An adventurer?" I asked.
"You may not know I guess... well... Adventurers is a job that is divided into three branches. Explorers, Serfs and hunters. Serfs are adventurers who take on civil duties and but their job isn't just desk work. Explorers are the ones who explore unknown domains... like caves, temples and such and hunters as you'd expect are monster hunters but they also team up with knights to hunt down criminals. And then hunters are divided into five different categories that being the nuker, healer, support, debuffer and shielder. Nukers are the ones who do the frontload damage be it ranged or melee. Healers are... well... there for healing. Support partners help boost the damage output, debuffers gives negative status effect to the enemies and shielders are exceptionally important adventurers as they specialize in making sure the team doesn't get one-shot against tougher enemies." Astrid explained.
"Why are shields necessary if we already have healers?" I asked.
"Well because it applies certain status effect on the adventurers to help boost the healing which leads them to become vulnerable. Most common type is sleepiness. It was implemented by the ancient mages to avoid damage to the body long term since it pushes body to heal too quickly and long term, they found that it lead to inferior self-healing capability of human body. Implementing such limits allow body to function long term without issues. So healing can help AFTER a battle is over. Shielders don't have the limitation." Astrid answered.
"I... see. I think I might try becoming a serf or explorer but I don't think I can be a hunter. I can't fight." I said. I had dabbled into business which got me to here... fortunately or not so I understood how to deal with people but for now I wanted to be left alone.
"Well more often than not, the three branches work together so you will get used to hunters. Who knows if you later feel like becoming one." Astrid said.
"Sun is setting, her majesty. Shall we take a break and set up a camp?" The coachman asked.
"Then park the carriage in a secure location." Astrid responded.