Here's a refined version of your story concept with added details, grammar correction, and enhanced narrative flow. I've also introduced a support
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The Awakening Ceremony
In an ancient, majestic city, 16-year-old Rudra jolted awake from a deep sleep, his eyes snapping open in excitement. With the dawn light streaming through his window, he splashed cold water on his face, grabbed his worn leather bag, and dashed out. After running nonstop for nearly half an hour, he finally reached a towering academy. At the entrance stood his chubby friend, Nand, waving enthusiastically.
"Late again, Rudra!" Nand huffed, laughing. "We need to get inside before the line stretches across the whole courtyard!"
"Sorry, Nand! Let's hurry," Rudra replied, breathless but grinning. Together, they raced to the great hall, where a crowd of over 5,000 students was buzzing with nervous energy.
Panting, Nand smiled, "Looks like we're on time, Rudra."
"Yeah," Rudra replied, eyes wide with anticipation. "It's about to begin."
Suddenly, a hush fell over the hall. An elderly man, flanked by three middle-aged figures, entered with powerful footsteps that commanded respect. He stopped in the center of the grand hall, gazing over the crowd of students.
"Looks like the reserves this year are substantial," the elderly man, known as Commander Veeraj, murmured to one of his companions. The others nodded—one was a sturdy man with the build of a warrior, and another had sharp, perceptive eyes.
"Yes, Commander," the sturdy man replied, his voice calm. "We have 10,050 students set to awaken their talents this year. Due to a surge of reserve energy, we can awaken as many as possible. With any luck, we might discover an S or even an A-grade talent."
Commander Veeraj's expression grew serious. "Let's hope we find talent strong enough to protect our city in these catastrophic times. Begin the ceremony."
The sturdy man stepped forward and addressed the crowd, his deep voice echoing throughout the hall. "Students! The Awakening Ceremony will begin in three minutes. Please keep in line, and step forward one by one when called. My name is Allang, City Leader and Protector. I hold an A-class Berserk talent, and I hope each of you awakens with the strength to protect those you love."
He raised a massive crystal stone, 15 meters tall, shimmering with blue and golden light. Its power pulsed, filling the hall with a mystic aura.
In the line, Rudra and Nand stood close, eyes fixed on the glowing stone. Nand whispered, "Bro, I really hope I awaken at least a B-grade talent. What about you?"
Rudra's eyes gleamed. "I'm aiming for S-grade. I've always believed if you say something confidently, it might just come true!"
The line moved forward as students approached the crystal one by one, each touching it with trembling hands. Glows of various colors appeared, and Allang called out each student's talent: "D-grade… B-grade… C-grade…"
Finally, Nand's turn arrived. He took a deep breath and placed his hand on the crystal. A purple-blue light emerged, illuminating him in a strong aura.
Allang's voice boomed, "A-grade talent, defense type: Unmovable Mountain!"
Nand turned to Rudra with a wide grin, nearly dancing with joy. "I awakened an A-grade talent! This is amazing!"
Rudra patted him on the back, smiling. "Congrats, Nand! You'll be a legend in no time, protecting our city with that kind of power!"
Nand grinned back. "Now it's your turn, Rudra. I know you'll get an S-grade! No need to be nervous, alright?"
With Nand's encouragement, Rudra stepped forward. His heart raced as he placed his hand on the crystal. Suddenly, a brilliant red light erupted from the stone, bathing the entire hall in a fierce glow. Gasps and murmurs rippled through the crowd.
The elderly Commander and the middle-aged men moved quickly to Rudra's side, their eyes filled with a mix of awe and desire.
"S-grade talent, offensive type: Destruction Thunder!" Commander Veeraj announced with a hint of excitement. "This is a rare gift—truly remarkable."
A system panel appeared in Rudra's vision:
[Awakening System Activated]
Talent: S-grade Destruction Thunder
Type: Offensive
Skills:
1. Thunder Strike – Channel destructive thunder to overwhelm opponents.
2. Lightning Dash – A swift burst of speed to evade or attack.
Potential: Extreme
Nand cheered for him, and so did the other students nearby. But Rudra couldn't shake the feeling that his life had just changed drastically. He noticed a few students watching him intently, including a girl with bright, fierce eyes who seemed to radiate confidence.
As the ceremony progressed, she approached the crystal, and a striking golden light surged forth.
"Another S-grade talent," Allang announced, impressed. "S-grade, combat type: Celestial Blade!"
The girl, Rhea, flashed a smile at Rudra as she joined the ranks of the S-talent elite. Not long after, two other boys achieved A-grade talents—Arjun, with a defensive talent called Stone Sentinel, and Kavi, with an agility-based skill called Swift Gale.
Rudra met the gaze of Rhea, Arjun, and Kavi. They all shared an unspoken understanding—a silent vow to push each other to the limits, knowing that only the strongest would survive the coming trials.
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