Sihyun's eyes froze, clearly shocked. He had told himself not to be surprised even if Haru turned out to have three eyes, and he really thought that he would manage it. But this wasn't just the case of having three eyes or a big scar, this was something else.
This was an unexpected turn of events.
As if realizing where Sihyun's gaze was directed, Haru, seemingly catching on, lowered his head and chewed on his lips. Seeing him like that, regret washed over Sihyun a little too late.
If I'd known, I would have just left it alone.
I thought I could handle it, that it wouldn't be a big deal, but I was wrong. Blue eyes stared at a mark just as blue.
Awakening marks disappear once imprinted. Yet, there was still a mark on Haru's forehead.
Did he not do the inscription?
His lowered gaze landed on the pairing device in his hand. The holographic screen that he'd seen countless times automatically appeared. It wasn't that he hadn't done the inscription.
If that's the case...
Surely not.
"…You're a Dual?"
"..."
He had anticipated it, yet Haru remained silent. Sometimes, silence could signify affirmation, so Sihyun exhaled in frustration.
They said it was rare.
Even an All-Rounder was considered a miracle.
Bits and pieces of gathered information consistently pointed to the same thing. An All-Rounder was uncommon. Even rarer than that, a Dual was referred to as a miracle. A being that might appear once every three years, a presence so miraculous that even witnessing it was a marvel.
This generation trampled upon the previously unbroken rule of multiple generations.
Statistically, it was the emergence of nine years' worth of talent in one go. A mix of incredulity and astonishment followed. Simultaneously, questions arose.
'How could he have hidden it?'
At the moment of his own imprint, Sihyun had inadvertently revealed his status as a Dual. Not only that, they even discovered that he was an unprecedented Quadruple. How had Haru managed to keep it a secret?
It seemed that none of the teachers knew Haru was a Dual. If Haru had been a Dual from the start, there was no way the new and current students would have been this quiet.
Haru's gloomy disposition wouldn't change just because he was a Dual, but there would be many opportunistic individuals requesting to be Haru's partner. Despite that, Haru had been alone during the partner selection. Without anyone's attention. The fact it conveyed was straightforward.
"No one else knows?"
"...Yeah."
"Hyung, then—"
"Kang Sihyun."
That was the second time. The second time that Haru had interrupted him and called out his name in a serious tone. It was filled with intent and emotion. This time he even included his last name, and Sihyun instantly shut his mouth.
"…Could you pretend not to know?"
Please… the voice sounded weak and desperate. Bowing his head deeply and avoiding eye contact, it felt like he was confessing to a crime. Sihyun silently withdrew his hand. The hand that had been holding back his hair fell and Haru's black locks once again covered his features.
"...Regardless of your class, it doesn't matter to me..."
Haru's voice from before, echoed in Sihyun's ears. The sight of the mark and Haru's dejected expression, there was no doubt about which was more important to Sihyun.
"…I'm sorry."
"..."
"I should have been more careful. I wasn't being considerate. It's okay if you're angry at me."
He should be angry.
Instead Sihyun once again requested to heal his wound and carefully reached his hand out. Haru, despite the slow movement, hunched his shoulders, pulling away from the touch.
Light emanated from Sihyun's fingertips. Contrary to his worry, the scar on Haru's eye was smaller than anticipated, and the healing was swift.
Beep-beep, beep-beep.
An alarm sound came from the pairing device as Sihyun applied the healing skill. The sharp alarm broke through the silent tension. But no one spoke.
Swiftly, Haru turned his head away without uttering a word. A sinking feeling settled in Sihyun's chest.
The warning sound emanating from the pairing device felt like it was warning something entirely different to Sihyun.
Deciding that Haru needed time alone without a response, Sihyun descended from the second floor and settled into his own bed. Once under the covers, his head spun.
He couldn't make sense of it.
Pushing ahead, getting irritated.
It was all behavior unlike his usual self.
Honestly, he had been angry at the fact that Haru had gotten hurt. It was irritating. It's never a good feeling watching other people sacrifice and get hurt for your sake.
But was that all?
The way I feel about Haru, was that really the only reason?
Sihyun shook his head. The rustling sound from the pillow echoed in his head.
Strictly speaking, other emotions had seeped in. There were a multitude of more intricate and detailed emotions that had spilled over this innocent subject.
Haru getting hurt had just been an excuse to justify his outburst.
Feeling his stomach churn, Sihyun eventually pulled the covers all the way up to his head. The softness of the blanket enveloped his entire body and blocked his sight, bringing about a moment of tranquility. Those few seconds of peace allowed Sihyun the time to reflect on his emotions and actions.
If it had been someone other than Haru, the result would have been the same.
If he and Donghyuk had confronted each other a little longer, all the emotions he had built up would have been expressed to Donghyuk, and if Seowoo had been hurt in that process, all those feelings would have been directed at him. That's how fragile he felt. Without someone to receive his emotions, he felt like he would crumble alone.
Disliking this, he would lash out at others as a form of self-defense. That particular aspect of him seemed oddly reminiscent of someone else.
Sihyun, scratching his neck, slowly closed his eyes.
He thought he was okay, but he felt overwhelmed.
Everything he had tried to overlook, every situation he had attempted to accept. It was all about pretending to be okay while still feeling overwhelmed.
Donghyuk's attitude was like a trigger that made his already sensitive self overflow. Unable to pinpoint who pulled the trigger and where the root of it all lay, Sihyun found himself caught in a loop, holding his breath.
He recalled Haru's surprised gaze, the seemingly dismissive glances. Trying to imagine the kind of eyes he had when he pushed Haru's bangs back and exposed his biggest insecurity, Sihyun buried himself under the blanket.
It was a vicious cycle.
Perhaps the careless and contradictory human might not be Donghyuk but himself.
"What's with the gloomy atmosphere?"
After a prolonged silence, Haeun burst into the room, looking at Sihyun and Haru lying on their respective beds. There had never been a moment when Haeun seemed more like a savior than now. Sihyun lowered the blanket that covered him and looked at Haeun.
"Don't go up."
"Aww."
He warned Haeun, who was shamelessly trying to climb straight up onto Haru's bed, and he let out a disappointed noise. Sihyun felt like retracting his statement about Haeun being a savior. He sensed a gaze directed at him and turning his head, he saw Hamin.
"Why aren't you two glued together for once?"
"What do you mean?"
"You and Ban Haru."
Had the two of them fought?
Sihyun narrowed his eyes at Hamin, who was quick to notice the situation. He was perceptive but lacked consideration. Though Haeun seemed to have caught on, he remained silent. Hamin was the only one who felt the need to acknowledge it.
"Be quiet."
"Whatever I do, you always sound the same."
Taken aback by the instant reproach, Hamin complained in disbelief. Sihyun looked over at Haeun and pointed towards Hamin.
"Go play with him."
"Yes!!"
"Huh?"
Hamin tried to push away Haeun as he was running at him, but in the end he ended up getting pulled away to the sofa. Kang Sihyun! He called out in indignation, and all Sihyun did was cover himself with the blanket.
That damn jerk, as Hamin kept complaining the atmosphere lightened a bit.
As the suffocating silence was broken, it felt relieving, but there was still no sound of anyone tossing and turning from above.
If someone openly detested something, there was surely a reason for it. Sihyun closed his eyes at the mistake he made due to a momentary impulse and unregulated emotions. He worried about Haru, feeling a gnawing emptiness in his stomach.
Not being able to even have dinner and causing only hurt, it bothered him a lot.
"Sihyun, wanna play board games?"
"I'm good."
"What about Haru hyung?"
"..."
"Just play among yourselves."
Seeing Haeun, who suggested playing board games without grasping the situation, whether he was quick-witted but thoughtless or just living life his own way, Sihyun answered on behalf of Haru, knowing full well he wouldn't come down anyway.
As if proving Sihyun's prediction, Haru remained silent. As the silence lingered, Haeun shrugged his shoulders and went and got Hamin, who was trying to fold the board. Sihyun discreetly looked at the familiar figures before he turned away and laid down.
A foreboding feeling suddenly arose.
Haru was the first relationship I built from scratch in this unfamiliar place. A relationship forged by my own will. Such a relationship, which was important and precious to me, felt uncomfortably stuck. Like a lock without a key that wouldn't budge. The unease stemming from negative thoughts crept up and gripped Sihyun.
A sense of anxiety enveloped his entire body, akin to a giant snake coiling around its prey.
A faint buzzing, almost like a premonition, echoed in the unsettling atmosphere as the night unfolded.
It was a long night.
Throughout this long night, Haru didn't utter a word until Sihyun fell asleep.