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Chapter 3 - The Doubts of a Believer

Chapter 3: The Doubts of a Believer

The streets were bathed in the dim, amber glow of streetlights as Ano made his way home from rugby practice. His muscles ached from the game, but his mind was unusually quiet. The cool evening breeze brushed past, rustling the trees and carrying with it a sense of calm that he rarely felt.

As he walked, something pulled his attention—a faint, desperate meow echoed from a nearby alley. Ano turned, squinting into the shadows, and saw a small, scraggly cat watching him cautiously. Its ribs were visible beneath its matted fur, its eyes wide and wary, yet somehow pleading.

Without a second thought, Ano found himself at a convenience store around the corner, purchasing a small packet of cat treats. As he returned to the alley, he knelt down slowly, extending his hand with the food. The cat sniffed the treats, nibbling tentatively before eating with surprising eagerness.

"Guess it's been rough for you too, huh?" Ano murmured, a soft smile crossing his face. He watched as the cat finished the food, and for a fleeting moment, he felt something close to peace. It was such a small gesture—feeding a stray cat in a forgotten alley. But somehow, it felt right, even if he couldn't explain why.

With a sigh, he continued home, where he showered quickly, his mind already shifting to the next part of his day: the evening church service. His family attended every week without fail—his father, his mother, and even his younger sister, bright-eyed and full of questions about God. For Ano, though, the experience was complicated. He respected their dedication, but something about it felt… distant.

As the service began, he watched the faces around him, each one rapt with devotion. The pastor's words echoed through the room, speaking of faith, of purpose, of love so vast it could encompass every soul in existence. Yet Ano's mind drifted, weighed down by silent, unspoken questions.

He wondered, could one truly believe with all their heart, without doubt gnawing at the edges of faith?

When the service ended, Ano lingered with his family, his thoughts still heavy. His mother chatted with a few of the other women in the congregation, her voice soft and warm as they spoke.

"He's growing into such a fine young man," one of the women remarked, casting a proud glance at Ano. "Kind, strong, with such a steadfast faith. You've done an incredible job raising him."

His mother's face glowed with pride, her eyes sparkling as she thanked them graciously. But Ano felt a pang in his chest, a weight that settled deep within him, twisting uncomfortably. They saw him as someone strong in faith, a young man filled with unwavering belief. But if they knew the truth…

Ano swallowed, glancing down. They didn't know the questions that haunted him, questions that had begun to feel like cracks in a glass facade. He didn't know if he could call himself a believer when so much of what he heard felt distant, almost unreachable.

Later that night, as he lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, the familiar doubts began circling in his mind, louder than ever. 

If God is real, then why does everything feel so broken? he wondered. And why… why do I feel so alone in these questions?

The words lingered, unanswered, filling his room with a silence that seemed to press against him. Everyone around him seemed so certain, so willing to accept everything without a second thought. But Ano's heart was restless, tangled in doubt, craving something more than mere words or distant promises.

Then, something happened. A soft, almost imperceptible glow began to fill the room, and Ano felt a strange sensation, as if the very air had thickened, charged with an energy that prickled against his skin. He sat up slowly, his breath catching in his throat.

At the foot of his bed stood a figure clad in armor that seemed to shimmer with a light not of this world. The man's face was strong, his eyes a piercing gold that seemed to look straight into Ano's soul. Feathers adorned the figure's massive wings, which radiated a soft light that illuminated the room. This was not just any being; this was an angel—no, the Archangel Michael, Heaven's greatest warrior.

"Ano," the figure spoke, his voice deep and steady, filled with an authority that was somehow both comforting and overwhelming. "I am Michael, and I have been sent here with a purpose. You, Ano, have been chosen."

Ano's mouth opened, words stumbling over each other in his mind before he managed to speak. "Chosen? Chosen for… what?"

Michael's gaze was unyielding, yet there was something compassionate in his eyes. "To take part in a game—a test that will decide the fate of all humanity. Heaven has chosen ten champions, as has Hell. This is no simple test of strength. It is a trial of faith, of conviction, and of purpose."

Ano's heart pounded, his thoughts spiraling as he tried to process the words. "A… game? But why me? I'm… just an ordinary person. I don't even know if I believe in all of this anymore."

Michael's expression softened, and he stepped closer, his presence filling the room like an unwavering flame. "It is often those who question the deepest who can discover the greatest truths. Faith, Ano, is not the absence of doubt; it is the courage to seek answers even when those answers are difficult. Your doubts do not make you weak; they make you worthy."

Ano shook his head, struggling to take it all in. Every part of him wanted to dismiss this as some vivid dream or a trick of his tired mind. Yet the warmth from Michael's hand on his shoulder, the golden glow of his eyes—it all felt real, tangible in a way he couldn't deny.

"But why… why would I be chosen?" Ano whispered, his voice breaking. "I've spent so long questioning, doubting… I don't think I have faith like the others."

Michael's gaze remained steady. "Faith is not a fixed thing, Ano. It is a journey, one that evolves with every question, every struggle. Your doubts are the soil from which true conviction can grow. The Creator sees your heart, sees past the questions to the strength that lies beneath."

Ano's eyes stung, a mixture of fear, awe, and something he couldn't yet name welling up inside him. The words he had longed to hear, the understanding he had sought in silence, were now laid bare before him by this divine being.

"Remember," Michael continued, his voice unwavering, "even the mightiest angel has questioned. Even the brightest star has moments of darkness. But it is in facing that darkness, in seeking truth with an open heart, that one can truly find the light."

Ano felt a strange calm settle over him, as though a weight he'd carried alone had been lifted. He still had questions—perhaps even more now—but somehow, they didn't feel as suffocating. In their place was a sense of purpose, a spark of something he had not felt in a long time.

Michael's presence began to dim, the glow fading as his form grew fainter. "This journey will test you, Ano. It will push you to your limits, and there will be moments when doubt will seem insurmountable. But know this: you are not alone. I will be with you, guiding you, teaching you. And together, we will walk this path, one step at a time."

As the angel's form faded into the shadows, leaving Ano alone once more in his dimly lit room, he felt his heart pounding with a mixture of fear and awe. The doubts hadn't vanished, but something had shifted. He felt a weight that was new and yet somehow familiar—a sense of purpose that he could barely comprehend.

For the first time, he didn't feel burdened by his questions; he felt called by them, as if each one was a step toward something greater than himself. As sleep finally claimed him, one thought echoed through his mind.

If even an angel could understand doubt, then perhaps there was hope for someone like him.