The afterlife, as Yu Cheng discovered, wasn't the serene gardens of the Immortal Realms, nor the tranquil halls where ancestors watched over the living. There were no Ten Kings of Hell reigning over the underworld, no pearly gates or celestial choirs, and no wheel of samsara to carry him to his next incarnation. Instead, it was as if the cosmos had become a calligrapher's ink, spreading in wild, untamed strokes across the void—a swirling canvas of nebulae, pulsating with iridescent light and shifting hues beyond mortal comprehension. Time, a construct of the physical realm, had dissolved into a timeless now. He simply was, suspended in a sea of vibrant nothingness.
Then, a presence. Not a physical form, but a knowing, a vastness that enveloped him, pressing against his awareness with the weight of a thousand suns, yet gentle as a feather's caress. This, he somehow knew, was the Universal Entity—the cosmic janitor, the multiversal maintenance man, the…thing that kept everything from collapsing into itself.
"Well, this is new," Yu Cheng thought, attempting a nonchalant tone despite the awe that threatened to engulf him. "So, am I supposed to bow or something?"
The Entity, seemingly amused by his irreverence, responded not first with words, but with a subtle vibration that rippled through the void. Yu Cheng sensed a hint of…guilt? Regret? It was hard to decipher the emotions of a being beyond human understanding.
"Greetings, Yu Cheng," the Entity's voice resonated within him, not through ears he no longer possessed, but directly into his consciousness. It sounded…amused. "Your demise was…unexpected." The word "unexpected" hung in the void, dripping with a cosmic sheepishness. Information about the cause of his death began to flow into his consciousness, each detail settling into his awareness with a surreal clarity.
A ridiculous death, even by his standards. A cosmic hiccup, a stray neutrino dispatched by a black hole collision millions of years in the past, had snuffed out his mundane existence in a flash of celestial brilliance.
Yu Cheng, still processing the sheer absurdity of his death, chuckled, the sound hollow in the vast emptiness. "Unexpected is an understatement. Of course, my luck is so bad I get taken out by a stray particle from two black holes having a lovers' quarrel millions of years ago. Not a car crash, not a terminal illness, but a cosmic fender bender. How does that even happen?"
A cosmic cough reverberated through the void, the Entity studiously avoiding any mention of its own meddling with those very black holes millennia ago. Yu Cheng, sensing the shift, pressed on.
"Look, I'm not gonna lie," Yu Cheng continued, his disembodied voice carrying a hint of defiance. "This whole 'dying because of a black hole sneeze' thing is pretty messed up. Couldn't you have, like, reversed it? Sent the neutrino back to its sender?"
The Entity's response was vague, a cosmic shrug that spoke of limitations even it couldn't overcome. Rules, perhaps, or just a cosmic "oops" moment with no easy fix.
"Well, no use crying over spilled milk—or in this case, getting steamed like a dead pig in boiling water (死猪不怕开水烫)," he thought dryly, echoing a saying his grandfather used to repeat when faced with hopeless situations. "At least I get a do-over."
"So," he continued, ever the pragmatist, "what are my options? Ten thousand years of cosmic napping? A VIP ticket to Heaven's Bargain Mart, Cosmic Edition? Look, if reincarnation is on the table, I want a good deal. My last life was a cosmic blue light special, and not in a good way."
The Entity's amusement intensified, a cosmic chuckle rippling through the void. "Reincarnation is standard procedure. However, given the…unique circumstances…"
"Unique being the operative word," Yu Cheng muttered, a hint of bitterness lacing his spectral tone.
"…We can offer…adjustments." The Entity's voice held a sliver of guilt. "Though reversing the incident is beyond our current capabilities. Let's focus on the opportunity you've been given." The explanation reeked of cosmic red tape and interdimensional insurance policies.
Yu Cheng skipped the finer points of multiversal bureaucracy. "If I get a do-over," he said, a wistful longing echoing in the void, "I want pure, unadulterated fun. No worries, no responsibilities, just pleasure and excitement. Think of it as early retirement, my last life was a bit of a dud."
A pause, then the Entity's voice, laced with intrigue, resonated, "An interesting request. Since you seem inclined towards… fun, we shall grant you a path to power through pleasure. Just remember, Yu Cheng, nothing in life is without balance. Indulgence without discipline is like a river without banks – eventually, it floods and destroys everything in its path."
Yu Cheng's incorporeal eyebrow arched. "Cultivation through pleasure?" He couldn't help the grin that spread across his spectral face. "Now this is interesting, but let's be real here, pleasure and power? Sounds like a good time, but you owe me more than just a vague promise. How about throwing in a personal chef, an unlimited supply of wine, and maybe even a few luxuries I haven't thought of yet? If I'm going back, I want the whole package."
"Indeed," the Entity responded, a hint of exasperation evident in its tone. "Yu Cheng, your audacity is noted, but do not mistake generosity for servitude. You will have guidance on this path, but the luxuries you ask for must be earned. To assist you on this…unique path, you will be assigned a guide."
The void shifted, coalescing into a figure of breathtaking beauty. Ethereal and regal, she was bathed in radiant light that shimmered like starlight. Flowing robes, woven from moonlight, draped around her, and her eyes held the wisdom of countless eons. Yet, her smile held a warmth, almost…welcoming.
"Yu Cheng," the Entity's voice echoed, "this is the Celestial Guidance Overseer, your…mentor, shall we say. She will instruct you in the ways of the Pleasure-Induced Nirvana Ascension—PINA, for short. We find mortals appreciate brevity."
"Greetings, Yu Cheng," she said, her voice like the music of the spheres. "I am your Celestial Guidance Overseer, and I shall guide you on your path."
Yu Cheng couldn't help but grin, his gaze fixed on the radiant figure before him. "I've always imagined being guided by a beautiful goddess. Can't say I'm disappointed!"
The Celestial Guidance Overseer raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into a faint, amused smile. "Flattery, while charming, will not make your path any easier, Yu Cheng. Though, I must admit, you're not the first mortal to try. Focus, and perhaps you will find the results you seek."
Yu Cheng, his disembodied consciousness focused on the radiant figure 'PINA, huh?' he thought. 'I like it already.' It sounded like a cocktail, refreshing and potent. Perhaps with a little umbrella. He was already planning the garnish.
The Celestial Guidance Overseer raised a graceful brow, her lips curving into a faint smile. "I see your humor remains intact, Yu Cheng. Good. You will need it. This journey you have requested is not without its challenges. The Dao of Hedonism, as you might call it, requires balance and finesse. True pleasure is not mere indulgence; it is the art of fulfillment, the mastery of desires without losing oneself."
Yu Cheng frowned, a flicker of confusion crossing his features. "I didn't think I actually said that," he muttered, half to himself.
The Celestial Guidance Overseer gave him an understanding smile. "In this space, Yu Cheng, your thoughts and your being are one and the same. Here, there is no distinction between what you think and what you express."
"Ah... I see," Yu Cheng said, nodding thoughtfully. Despite his words, his thoughts kept drifting back to the possibilities offered by the PINA method, a mix of curiosity and excitement bubbling up inside him. "Wuwei (无为) in action, right? You ride the flow of the universe, no sweat, no struggle. Sounds like my kind of art. So, what's first? Do I start meditating on a beach somewhere, sipping cocktails while I contemplate the nature of pleasure? Or is there something a little more hands-on?"
She shook her head, her gaze both amused and indulgent. "Yes, and don't forget the tiny umbrella. I hear that's essential for cultivating your way to enlightenment."
Yu Cheng laughed, his disembodied form vibrating with mirth. The Overseer's humor had caught him off guard, and for a moment, he allowed himself to imagine it—lounging on a beach, sipping cocktails, with cultivation being as easy as that. But her expression shifted slightly, and he sensed the gravity behind her next words.
"No, your journey will require practice—immersive practice, in fact. The world you will enter is one steeped in tradition, where pleasure and indulgence are seen as obstructions to the paths of enlightenment for those who understand the true nature of restraint. You must learn to balance your desires, to turn pleasure into power, without succumbing to excess."
Yu Cheng blinked—or at least, the essence of blinking resonated in his disembodied state. "Balance? Sure, sure, I'll think about that later. So you're telling me that I can *actually* cultivate by enjoying myself... but I need to do it wisely? Like some kind of cosmic self-help guru?"
She let out a soft laugh, the sound like wind chimes echoing through the void. "If that analogy pleases you, Yu Cheng, then yes. Do not take this lightly. The path ahead will test your resolve and discipline. It is easy to be consumed by desire, but far more challenging to command it."
Yu Cheng paused, considering her words. "You know, this is actually sounding better and better. I'm tired of the old routine—the endless grind, the empty goals. If there's a chance for me to cultivate by seeking joy, real joy, I'll take it." He hesitated before adding, "I suppose there's something poetic about mastering my own indulgence, given the way my old life went."
The Celestial Guidance Overseer nodded, her expression softening. "Very well. There will be rules, of course, and challenges that you must overcome. Pleasure will be your tool, but wisdom must be your guide. Now, are you ready to begin this journey, Yu Cheng?"
Yu Cheng's spirit surged with newfound excitement. "Hell yes, I'm ready. Let's get this pleasure cultivation started!"
The Overseer's form shimmered, her hands weaving symbols in the air that glowed with ethereal light. "Then let us waste no more time. The first lesson is one of patience and awareness. Before indulgence, there must be understanding."
Yu Cheng watched, enraptured, as a circle of shimmering symbols encircled him. The energy that spread through him was unlike anything he had felt—warm, electric, and filled with promise. The Overseer's voice, though soft, held an authority that resonated deep within him.
"You will be placed into a young master's body, one born into privilege but bound by expectations. Your challenge, Yu Cheng, will be to take the expectations of this new life and forge your own path—a path filled with joy, indulgence, and enlightenment. Be wary, though—your indulgences will be tested. Others will not understand your pursuit, and many will seek to challenge you. Stand firm, but be wise. True power is not found in brute strength, but in mastering the essence of your desires."
"So, reincarnation is basically like quitting a job you hate, only to find out your next gig still has paperwork, huh? I thought this was going to be all sunshine and booze," Yu Cheng said, a wry grin spreading across his spectral face.
For a moment, he remembered the monotony of his old life—the exhaustion, the endless loop of boredom—and shuddered. No, this time he was going to live. Really live. His tone shifted, filled with newfound enthusiasm. "Don't get myself killed, have fun, and prove everyone wrong. Sounds like a blast."
The Overseer's smile widened. "We shall see, Yu Cheng. Now, let your journey begin."
A warmth spread through Yu Cheng, a tingling energy that felt like reality itself weaving a new tapestry around his soul. Faint cosmic whispers echoed—ethereal farewells from a realm beyond comprehension. The void spun, faster and faster, propelling him forward into blinding light.