Real Life is stranger than fiction. Tapestry of life can be bafflingly interwoven or be a tangled mess. Mine sure was a tangled mess with past and future all existing at the same time.
Those days could not more depressing.
I had locked myself in a room, unaware of how many days had passed. The home, once full of life, now stood empty and dusty, mirroring the void inside my heart. The curtains, once white, had yellowed and were always drawn. The tube lights flickered weakly before giving up. I didn't care about eating; Samiksha used to force-feed me, but now she was gone too, taken away in an accident.
"God, am I cursed? Whoever I love, You take them away. Why am I alive?"
These thoughts consumed me, gnawing at my soul.
**Ting Tong.**
I ignored the doorbell.
"Are you there, Damini?" It was the old neighbor, always trying to disrupt my solitude. Then a more familiar voice pierced through the haze.
"Damini, it's John. Please open the door."
It was John, Samiksha's neighbor. We were childhood friends almost like brother and sisters. Samiksha loved Aunt Mary's Bibinca Cake and she would make extra for us. It was a happy distant memory.
I struggled to open the door.
"Won't you... (Sobbing ) bid her Goodbye. ," he said wiping his tears. I fell into his arms sobbing. Soon we were inconsolable.
Samiksha my dear best friend had passed away. We were inseparable. We studied in the same school and were neighbours. She travelled from Matunga to Churchgate just to pick me up from college. Days were passing and our friendship grew into sisterhood. She became my rock after that soul crushing tragedy. Now i felt like i have lost my roof, my shelter.
We are all puppets of Karma and must endure pain and go through responsibilities. Wether you want it or not. Never escape from reality was a lesson I learnt.
Depersonalization threw a blurry curtain over reality but didn't numb the pain. My best friend was gone and i was hollow in daze, watching myself from distance. . I remember people saying something but i couldn't understand them. Her parents were crying. Atmosphere was sombre . Samiksha had touched many lives. There were flowers and tears.
God had taken someone from me again. Wasn't losing Ma and Papa enough? That bastard Ramesh. I was going to kill him.
"Damini... Hey, i am with you. You aren't alone."
John's voice snapped me back to the present.
"Hmm?"
"Should I call a taxi?" he asked gently.
I shook my head. "I have to go somewhere else."
I had purchased a bus ticket to my native village. I would reach there by 12 am. Samiksha loved driving through beautiful green valleys. The majestic Sahyadri and the vast Arabian sea were still here, but there was no Samiksha or Maa-Papa to see them.
I shall never forget that day. I had come home early from the office and bought a chocolate cake for Mom. She loved chocolate cake. I knocked for a long time, but the bell strangely wasn't working. They weren't picking up the phone either, and I, as usual, had forgotten the key.
A locksmith came and broke the lock. The door opened to reveal the most horrific scene of my life. There was blood on the floor. I tiptoed inside to discover Maa and Papa in a pool of blood. They had become pale, white.
Why? Who could have done this? I could not understand why was going on. My world was shattered and all pieces were tearing my hear apart.
The house was empty. All the memories merged with the reality. Leaving me confused about everything. Perhaps this was a bad dream. Maa was alive. I could almost hear my parents bickering down the hall.
It was Samiksha who me forced me out of that dark phase.
Months passed by and finally police informed that Murderer was Ramesh Samant. The man I called uncle and best friend of my dad. I couldn't believe it. And they said that he had gone insane. He had plucked out all of his hairs and almost chewed his hands off. He was chanting only three verse. "I did what was instructed. I had to do it. Forgive me."
"Vadgoan Vadgoan," the bus conductor called loudly. Many people disembarked with me. My destination was across the creek to Palshet, a remote village to the north. It was already 9 p.m., and the last ferry was about to depart.
Night had fallen, and the forest hummed with the song of insects. A gentle drizzle began as the ferry glided across the calm sea, leaving only a trail of ripples. Most homes had gone dark, and I walked alone, passing silent houses until our old, isolated home loomed beyond the lake
I was walking through the forest accompanied by night bugs and crows flying in the sky occasionally owl hooting somewhere in the forest. As i drew near the home. I heard someone talking. I hid behind the woods and observed the women placing something on the Lake bank before leaving. I knew what it was. It was said that the lake was inhabited by Sati Asra, the seven water goddesses, whose brother was Lord Krishna. According to folklore, people offer Naivaidya-some food and a coconut and light a small earthen lamp on moonless and full moon nights for the goddesses. If this ritual is neglected, it is believed the goddesses will take anyone who approaches the lake that night. My maa had warned me not go near any water bodies on moonless and full moon nights. If Sati Asra were dissatisfied they will drown you.
The women were illuminated by the full moon. I couldn't see their faces. Inside me, a tornado of emotions swirled, and a voice whispered, "This is your chance to meet Maa and Papa. Jump in the lake."
With these thoughts ,i ran towards the shore. My legs were heavy and my heart racing as I approached the dark pool.
I prayed out loud, "Lord, please tell me why I lost everything. Why did my loved ones suffer horrific deaths, leaving me all alone in this world? Answer my prayers. I am going to jump into this lake."
With that, I plunged into the water. There was no hesitation . I was eager to peace. Water was cold piercing through my skin. It was slow torture of weightlessness and sinking. After the maddening gurgling subsided, i only existed and was numbness over came me.
"What happened? Who is this?" I heard distant voices breaking the silence in the cold, wet darkness.
"What is our Naivaidya? Those modaks and coconuts, or this girl?"
"Let's take her."
They were giggling and the darkness cradled me, cold and endless. Laughter rippled through the water, high-pitched and alien. As I sank, hands brushed against me-whispering, laughing. Then, silence.