Life was good. Resting back in his plush leather chair, Vox felt completely at ease. His Face Screen, displaying the true bliss he felt, glowed softly in the dimly lit room. He wore his most comfortable yet stylish attire: a sleek black suit paired with a blood-red tie. A glass of amber liquid sat on the table beside him, the aroma of fine whiskey wafting through the air, adding to the sense of luxury and indulgence that surrounded him.
Velvette would've said he was being pretentious if she saw him.
Vox would've told her to fuck off. Dozens of screens surrounded him, each one replaying the most amazing scene. Every screen displayed the recording of the last Extermination, showcasing how that lanky fucking deer, Alastor, got his shit wrecked by Adam. Vox couldn't help but let out a low, guttural chuckle as he watched the recording.
No matter how many times he replayed it, the scene never lost its edge. It was like watching a fucking masterpiece unfold before his eyes, each moment more satisfying than the last. This shit was better than any TV crap, more empowering than any soul he'd ever snagged, and more satisfying than any wild fuck session he'd ever had with Val.
And goddamn, that last comparison was saying something.
'Here comes the best part!' Vox thought as he leaned closer. Alastor's smug expression turned to shock as his staff snapped in half like a twig. The look of utter disbelief on his face was priceless. All that shit-talking, only to get nearly killed with one hit! Then, he fucking ran away like a bitch! Vox relished in every frame, each replay making him laugh harder. He had seen it a hundred times, but it never got old. The sheer humiliation of Alastor was a masterpiece of divine retribution.
Vox had never held any love for the pricks of Heaven because, seriously, what fucking weirdo would? Sure, Exterminations were always the most lucrative for business. Getting souls the days after was like shooting fish in a barrel. Yet, seeing the First Man humiliate Alastor filled him with a rare sense of delight. For once, Vox was proud to be his descendant. If he had been there, he might've just kissed the man! Imagine that, Vox planting one right on Adam.
Well, not really. Vox was far too smart to be anywhere near the golden-winged chucklefucks during an extermination. But that was beside the point. It would have certainly made Val seethe like a bitch though. It would've kept Val away from him for a couple of days, granting him some peace of mind. He loved his partner, but if he had to hear about that fucking spider whore one more time, he'd fucking shove his cables down the moth overlord's throat.
'Damn pervert would probably like it, though,' Vox thought with a snort, the corners of his mouth curling into a smirk.
The rest of the battle didn't interest him much. Lucifer came. Adam died. Exorcists fucked off, and the morons rejoiced in their so-called victory.
They really were fucking stupid. Did they truly think Heaven would take this shit lying down? Sooner or later, that hotel, Carmilla, and the shitters of Cannibal Town would be old news. Lucifer's dumb brat might get spared, but the rest? They were fucked. Vox just hoped that Alastor didn't die with them because that fucker's head was Vox's to take!
When the recording got to the part of Adam's last moments, he raised his glass to toast in the First Man's honor—one Alastor hater to another. But just as he was about to drink, a stabbing pain hit the back of his head. Someone had just broken the parabolic antenna. His antenna! On top of his building!
Stopping the video and throwing the glass to the floor, Vox jumped to his feet and stormed towards the balcony. Whichever fucking dumb piece of deer shit thought they could mess with him was about to get their spine broken and their balls strapped to a car battery!
He slammed the door open and looked upwards. "YOU GODAMNnoooooo....!" Vox's threat died in his throat as he got a look at the person standing on top of the antenna, his voice lowering to something similar to a mouse squeak. He quickly ducked and hid behind the railing of his balcony.
Vox's eyes darted between the face of the dying man on his screens and the face of the man standing on his roof. He looked at the screen. He looked at the man. Back to the screen. Back to the man.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" he muttered, blinking rapidly.
Vox reached into his breast pocket, taking out a small bottle of screen cleaning spray. He used it and quickly wiped his monitor with a handkerchief, convinced he must be seeing things.
Nope. Still there. He ran back to his largest Screen leaned in closer, then rushed back and squinted up at the figure on his roof, his jaw-dropping in disbelief.
"What in the unholy fuck...?"
Vox's gaze locked onto Adam's face, the man standing on his roof, and it sent a chill down his circuits. Vox couldn't tear his eyes away from Adam. The exorcist's expression was too calm, almost unnervingly so. It was the kind of calm that made you think: 'Someone's getting fucked up tonight.'. Adam was dressed in a pristine white tunic with matching pants, and a simple sash tied around his waist.
"Oh, they are so, so fucked..." Vox muttered under his breath, the realization hitting him like a freight train. Those clowns thought they killed the head exorcist. Turns out, he just went for a change of clothes. A swirling light caught Vox's gaze, and he turned towards it, his eyes widening in shock. There, in the sky, was a massive, ugly crack. It wasn't just a portal; it was a rift, a wound in the very fabric of reality. It shimmered and pulsed with a sense of wrongness as if the universe itself was screaming in agony.
"Did he do that?" Vox muttered, a mixture of awe and fear creeping into his voice. "Oh, that's so fucking hardcore."
The crack in the sky seemed to grow, the edges jagged and throbbing with chaotic energy. It was like nothing Vox had ever seen before, and the sheer power it radiated sent chills down his spine.
He couldn't help but gush about the spectacle. "Oh, they are so, so fucked," he said again, louder this time, his excitement bubbling over. "That pompous ass Alastor and the rest of that pathetic hotel? They're screwed! Did they seriously think they could take down the head exorcist and not face any consequences?" Oh, he could almost see it. Alastor on his egging for mercy as that shitty hotel burns in the background.
'Hazbin Hotel' was about to be a pretty fucking fitting name. Vox laughed, a cruel, gleeful sound that echoed around the room before he stopped. "Wait." Dread rose through his nerves like ice water.
Why the fuck was he on the Vees' territory? Oh, fuck. Did he think they had a part in his death? No, no, no. For fuck's sake, Vox was rooting for the exorcist during that fight. Vox's gaze turned to Adam. The First Man was looking at Vox's slaves/employees with burning disdain. The hatred in his eyes was so overwhelming, that Vox nearly glitched in fear.
Panic set in as Vox's mind raced. "Shit, shit, shit," he muttered, eyes darting back and forth between the screen and the figure on the roof. "Does he think we had something to do with it? I was on his side, dammit!"
Vox opened his mouth to shout out, to tell the First Man that he had nothing to do with it when Adam suddenly took a deep breath.
crack
"SERPEEEENT!!" Adam roared.
The sound was like thunder, reverberating through the entire building. Vox felt it in his bones, a primal fear igniting within him. His screen-head flickered with static for a moment, a visible crack marring the otherwise smooth surface. Vox mentally screamed as he cradled his head, his sound receptors nearly busted from the sheer volume of Adam's roar. The pain was intense, a searing agony that made his vision flicker with static. He clutched at his screenhead, trying to steady himself as the echoes of the First Man's bellow continued to reverberate through his office.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he hissed through clenched teeth, his mind racing to process the situation. The scene on the roof had shifted from a spectacle to a dire threat in an instant, and Vox knew he had to act quickly if he wanted to survive.
Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to stand, every movement sending jolts of pain through his head. He staggered towards the edge of the balcony, peering up at the figure of Adam. The First Man's presence was almost overwhelming, a beacon of raw, unbridled power that made Vox's circuits tremble. just as Vox felt his mind slipping into unconsciousness, the door to his office was blasted open, Val and Velvette barging in.
"Vox, what the in fuck happened?!" Velvette yelled as she ran to him, a cracked tablet in her hand. "Are we under attack?!"
"Mi amore!" Val, bless his dark cruel sadistic heart, was more concerned with Vox's collapsed form. But for fucks sake, now was not the time for yelling, especially when they had a bloody ticking bomb over their heads.
Not trusting his voice, Vox hurriedly gestured to the balcony, trying to get his bearings together. His mind was a whirlwind of pain and confusion, but he knew he had to convey the urgency of the situation to Val and Velvette. He pointed frantically at the figure on the roof, then at his head, miming the intense pressure he felt from Adam's presence.
Val and Velvette exchanged worried glances, clearly understanding that something serious was happening. The two overlords rushed to peek at the balcony. He saw them both still at the sight.
Velvette turned sharply, glaring at him. "Seriously Vox, what the fuck did you do?"
"Fucking nothing," Vox hissed back. What the actual fuck could he ever have done to get the Head Exorcist on his ass?
"Then why the actual fuck is Lucifer doing on our roof!" Valentino shrilled.
"I already tol—Wait, what?" Vox's heart skipped a beat at Val's words. He pushed the vees and leaned next to them, raising his head, and found the fucking King of Hell floating next to the broken antenna. Lucifer spared them a passing glance with a raised eyebrow.
What the fuck?!
He turned to Valentino. "Why the fuck is Lucifer here?"
"That's what we're asking!" Velvette elbowed him harshly. "You're the one who told us to look!"
"Yeah, at that!" Vox pointed with his hand at Adam.
As Val and Velvette turned to look at Adam, their expressions shifted from confusion to shock, then to a mix of horror and disbelief. Velvette's eyes widened so much that Vox thought they might pop out of her head, while Val's jaw dropped low.
"Is that... Adam?" Val stammered, his voice cracking with disbelief. "I thought he fucking croaked!"
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Velvette muttered under her breath, her hands trembling as she grabbed her twin-tails. She turned her head, looking at Vox expectantly. "I don't know," he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I have no fucking idea what's going on."
Velvette rolled her eyes. "Great, just fucking great. We're stuck in the middle of some cosmic bullshit, and we have no clue why." Val suddenly shushed both of them. "Shut the fuck up, they're talking." True enough, the two Angels were exchanging some words. As the Vees leaned in to listen, Vox had no idea what the fuck the two were talking about; their conversation was too vague. But he was pretty sure they were talking shit. And that was enough. Slamming his screen to stabilize it, Vox's left eye glowed as he started recording. It filled his electric heart with warmth to see Val and Velvette were also recording.
"Ooh, he called him a bitch," Val whispered, a hint of amusement in his voice.
The exchange continued for several moments before Adam's face grew serious. "You know why I'm here." A massive grin spread across Lucifer's face as he leaned forward... and disappeared? One second he was there, the next he was gone. Val and Velvette were confused. But Vox, with the numerous features and high specs of his screen, saw it.
No one else could've seen it. Especially not some limp dicked moron who insisted that the Glorious Television was inferior to fucking Radio. The video spun back, its speed reduced to near stillness. It was in one frame, but he saw it. Adam's fist plunged into Lucifer's solar plexus. "Adam just punched Lucifer," he stated, a mix of shock and excitement in his voice. "Oh shit, they're scrapping?" Velvette said, surprised.
Vox nodded, a glint in his eyes. A second later, he saw reflected in his partners's eyes. Immediately, all three grinned. They had no idea why Adam was alive. No idea why Lucifer came to their roof. No idea what the fuck was going on. But what they did know, they knew entertainment. "You thinking what I'm thinking? Velvette said, with a manic smirk.
Vox nodded, a glint of excitement in his eyes. He glanced at Val, who was already reaching for the nearest camera controls, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.
"We're recording it all," Val declared, his voice filled with anticipation.
Velvette's excitement mirrored Val's as she nodded vigorously. "This is gonna go fucking viral," she exclaimed, her voice tinged with anticipation.
Vox chuckled, his mind already racing with the possibilities. "Hell yeah, it is," he agreed, feeling a surge of adrenaline. "Let's make sure we get every angle."
In a flurry of activity, every drone and camera the Vees owned was released, following the fight closely. Even as they left the Pride Ring, the drones continued to capture every moment. Vox no longer cared about stepping on the toes of the Ars Goetia, the Sins, or even Lucifer; he was solely focused on getting the best footage possible.
In every station covering the fight, thousands of projections littered the Pride Ring sky for all to see. Within minutes, every single soul in the Pride Ring was buzzing about the battle.
Then, as if adding fuel to an already raging fire, the Vees opened the betting pool.
And it was fucking spectacular.
Those suckers bet with everything: their money, their lovers, their children, and even their souls.
Minutes later, with a glass of wine in hand and a massive grin on his face, Vox felt a sense of exhilaration. This was what he lived for, the thrill of capturing moments that would be talked about for eons.
And when the entirety of Hell saw the Head Exorcist, clothes shredded and arms bloody, grab Beelzebub, and slam her into Satan, ripping Lucifer's third wing in the process, Vox knew they had struck gold.
He was going to kiss Adam if it was the last fucking thing he ever did.