Russia, Italy, and Germany were in a room. Italy was eating spaghetti, Germany was taking notes for his meeting. And Russia. Well. Russia was staring at the Vodka bottle
Italy: "Hey! Can you pass me the salt?"
Italy said as he was stuffing his face with spaghetti
Germany: [sigh] "Italy how are you even hungry again?"
he said as he handed Italy the salt
Italy: "well. It's because this spaghetti is so good~"
Italy said as he continued to eat
Russia, still staring at the vodka bottle while the bottle is sweating
The vodka bottle: [inside his mind] ("now, dude, what the fuck") 😨
Russia continued to stare at the vodka bottle. His eyes gleamed as he picked up his "darling"
Russia: "My~ darling.~"
The Vodka bottle sweat even more
The vodka bottle: [its emotions sink within its heart as it shivers slightly] 😨
Russia: "my.. my darling~ You're shaking.. are you cold, love~?"
He said as he held the vodka bottle close to his chest. The vodka bottle was shivering by his touch
Sealand: "sir, you're sexually harassing a vodka bottle—"
Russia: [twitches his eyes and shouts] "boy, get out of here before I call your older brother, England, to whip your ass!"
Sealand: "oops—" [the boy ran away]
England [who was walking down the hall and heard that]: "Oh my Lord! What are you doing to a Vodka BOTTLE, Russia!?"
England said As he approached
Russia: "Nothing.~"
he said as he holds the Vodka bottle like a doll
England: "oh… all righty! Bye, have a great day!"
The vodka bottle: "please! Don't leave me here! No!"
Russia: "now you're only with me now~ the others had already left~"
The vodka bottle: "No! W-what a-are y-you doing with t-that w-weird tube shaped thing? D-don't come any closer! No! No!"
Russia: "shhh~ calm down love... You're going to be safe"
He said as he carefully began to unbutton his shirt
Russia: "We're going to have some fun~"
He said as he took off his shirt. He was still holding the Vodka bottle close with one arm while the other one began to unbutton his pants button
he kicked off his pants, leaving them on the ground and he gently sat on a chair. He smiled at the Vodka bottle and spoke
Russia: "are you ready love?"
The vodka bottle: [sighs] "fine…"
Russia: "good~"
He placed the Vodka bottle on the floor between his legs. He picked up the tube shaped object in his hand
Russia: "this won't hurt, love~"
he slowly began to insert the tube shaped object into the Vodka bottle's...cap? And Russia looked at the Vodka bottle
Russia: "are you doing okay, love?"
Russia slowly began to push the tube further inside. All while looking at the Vodka bottle's reaction...
Russia soon pushed the tube in as far as it could go, looking at the Vodka bottle
Russia: "are you alright?"
The vodka bottle: "y-yeah, i-im alright…"
Russia: "good~ I'm going to start moving it now~"
He said with a smile
The vodka bottle: [inside its mind] ("God, nooo…")
Russia began to slowly move the tube inside of the Vodka bottle, watching as the shape of the tube was visible through the bottle's glass structure
(Author's note: Now imagine if Belarus sees his brother, Russia, having sex with the vodka bottle 💀)
Russia: "does it.. Hurt?~"
The vodka bottle: [inside its mind] ("please please, stop, it hurts aaaaaa!!")
Russia paused for a moment to listen to the Vodka bottle's reaction
Russia: "it hurts doesn't it?~"
...…
The vodka bottle: [sniffs sniffs] "…I-i can't do this anymore!" [starts crying]
Russia was sitting on a chair with the Vodka bottle on his lap, He stroked the bottles side while speaking
Russia: "oh my love…"
The vodka bottle: [sobs] "…please…Please stop…"
Russia: "ah~ my love why are you crying?~"
He said as he continued to stroke the Vodka bottle's side with a smile
Russia: "my love~ I don't want you to be sad...~"
He said as he pulled the bottle to his chest and rocked it gently, like a baby
Russia paused for a moment and looked at the Vodka bottle with a look of sympathy on his face
Russia: "oh my dear… You poor thing~"
He said as he picked up the Vodka bottle and held it close to his chest. He caressed the Vodka bottle's side
meanwhile Belarus and Ukraine
Belarus: "now where the hell is big brother Russia?"
Ukraine: "I'm not sure."
Belarus: "Well, maybe we could ask America, that loud-mouthed fool"
Ukraine: "hmm... Good idea"
Belarus and Ukraine walked down the hallway, trying to find America
Belarus: "America~ have you seen Russia?"
she asked as her and Ukraine approached America
America: "well he was in his room, just holding his veryyyy precious vodka bottle, I came to his room a while ago, he said he's just doing…nothing"
Belarus: "really? He was just holding a Vodka bottle? How odd..."
Belaru's voice held a hint of skepticism while Ukraine was silent
Belarus: "And he really said that he's doing nothing?"
She looked at America, skepticism still in her voice
America: "yeah, he said he's doing nothing..."
America didn't pay much attention to Belarus's suspicion, as he was trying not to say something he regrets
Belarus: "hmph. Something still seems suspicious..."
Belarus folded her arms. Her stare piercing into America's soul.
America: "w-why do you say that?"
He said, trying to casually keep his composure. But he could feel himself sweating
Belarus: "I know that something is going on..."
Her tone remained suspicious as she still kept her eyes on America
America: "really? Well, I swear he was doing nothing..."
He was starting to sweat quite a bit. As he tried to keep up his 'innocent' look
Belarus: "Mr. America, lead us to his room"
America: "huh?! W-Why?"
He said, his voice sounding a bit more nervous. As America was starting to sweat more
Belarus: "because, I said so. Now lead us to his room…or else"
Belarus said with a stern voice, her eyes are piercing through America's soul
America sighed in defeat
America: "alright... I'll lead you, just don't hurt me..."
He mumbled the last bit and began to lead them to Russia's room
they soon made it to Russia's door and America stopped
America: "this is his room..."
He said, while looking at Belarus
Belarus: "good."
she said as she opened the door in one swift go
they were all greeted by the sight of Russia cradling the Vodka bottle, who looked a bit surprised by all of their sudden appearances
Russia: "ah... Belarus.. Ukraine, America... What's going on here?"
Belarus: "Brotha, what are you doing with that 'toy', Vodka bottle, and last but not least, why are you naked?"
Russia stiffened from Belarus' question. He immediately wrapped himself with a nearby sheet and tried to play it cool
Russia: "oh, I was just taking a nap, and the Vodka bottle was just keeping me company—"
Belarus: "hmm, Russia…"
Russia: "y-yeah…?"
Belarus: "you made love with that vodka bottle"
Russia was shocked at Belarus's bold statement. His face turning a hint of red out of embarrassment
Russia: "W-what?!- No!- Of course not!- T-that's ridiculous-!"
Russia began to stutter and tried to come up with a reasonable explanation
Belarus: "Russia, you fucker, you f//ked that poor vodka bottle so hard, deeply inside with that darn tube shaped magic wand that the vodka bottle started crying. Russia, fuck you, I'm gonna tell father Soviet Union about this in Heaven"
Russia's face turned a deeper shade of red. He looked mortified and flustered at the same time. He began stuttering more and was now panicking
Russia: "W-wait- Bel-Belarus! Don't!- P-please don't tell father about any of this!"
He pleaded, his face still bright red
America: "Ohohoho— Russia, you're cooked—"
Russia: "America! You're not helping!"
Russia's face was flushed an even deeper shade of red, and he was sweating. He was frantically trying to think of a way to get out of this situation
Russia: "I'll do anything! Just don't tell-..!"
He didn't even finish his sentence before Belarus cut him off
Belarus: "anything?"
Russia was slightly relieved to hear her response. Before nodding vigorously
Russia: "yes! Yes! Anything! Just please don't tell Father about any of... This!"
Belarus hummed and smirked a bit
Belarus: "alright, then I won't tell Father, but I will tell him that the vodka bottle was crying if you don't do what else I say~"
The vodka bottle: [gulps] "w-what are w-we doing…?"
Belarus: "heh~ we'll see, but first, Ukraine and America, could you please leave~?"
Ukraine: "okay Belarus"
Both Ukraine and America left
Russia: "so Belarus, what do you want?"
Belarus: "heh~ I wanna f//k your vodka bottle~"
The vodka bottle: "ah hell nah" 😨
Belarus: [turns her head towards the Vodka bottle, her expression remaining stoic] "don't worry, you won't have to go through that ever again~"
The vodka bottle: "ohh, God…"
Belarus gives a small grin
Belarus walked over to the vodka bottle and picked it up, holding it carefully
Belarus: "you'll be safe with me, don't worry~"
she said with a smirk
Russia: "Belarus! Don't you dare touch my vodka bottle!—"
Russia's face went red again. He glanced at the vodka bottle, feeling sympathetic for it
Russia: "Belarus, please don't do that to the vodka bottle…"
The vodka bottle: "Im cooked" 😭
Russia felt bad for the vodka bottle. He didn't want to see it get harmed like that
Russia: "Belarus, please! Not the vodka bottle-!"
The vodka bottle: "b¡tch what the fuck, I can't do this anymore…" [starts crying]
Russia felt his heart clench at the sight of the vodka bottle crying. He looked at Belarus, his expression pleading
Russia: "Belarus, look what you've done! You made the vodka bottle cry!"
Belarus glanced at the crying vodka bottle, her expression seeming unfazed. She then turned back to Russia with a smirk
Belarus: "oh, don't worry love, I'm just messing with you~ I won't actually do anything like that to the vodka bottle. But seeing you so desperate and worried about it is adorable~"
The vodka bottle: "Please leave me alone! Leave me alone! WAAAAAAA!!!!!" [cries loudly]
Russia winced at the sound of the vodka bottle's crying. It was quite pitiful to hear
Russia: "Belarus, I really think you've taken things too far. The vodka bottle is clearly upset-!"
The vodka bottle: "I DON'T LIKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!" [cries and accidentally breaks itself]
Russia gasped in shock at the sound of the vodka bottle breaking itself. He looked at the broken pieces on the floor, feeling bad for it
Russia: "Belarus, look! The vodka bottle broke itself because of how upset you made it!"
We'll be right back—
next day, meanwhile Liechtenstein, Wy, Sealand, Tea cup and Tony the Alien
Tea cup: [fixes the vodka bottle with super glue] "there you go! Looking perfectly brand new"
The vodka bottle: [groans] "i feel so bad…"
Liechtenstein, Wy, Sealand, Tony the Alien, and the vodka bottle were all in the room together. Liechtenstein, Wy, and Sealand watching as Tony the Alien and the tea cup helped fix up the vodka bottle
Liechtenstein: [smiles softly] "it's good that the vodka bottle can be fixed up, it means that it can be whole again and won't be so upset."
The vodka bottle: "aight, imma leave"
Liechtenstein, Wy, and Sealand watched as the vodka bottle got up to leave. They all looked somewhat concerned, but Liechtenstein spoke up
Liechtenstein: "wait, vodka bottle! Where are you going?"
The vodka: "ehhh just gonna take a walk outside to feel better" [it leaves]
*Meanwhile in the corridor, the vodka bottle was just walking until suddenly Russia appeared behind the vodka bottle*
The vodka bottle: "shiver me timbers!" 😨
Russia was walking down the corridor when he spotted the vodka bottle in front of him. When the vodka bottle exclaimed their surprise, Russia chuckled
Russia: [smiles] "oh, vodka bottle! I didn't expect to see you here. Are you feeling alright?"
The vodka bottle: [shaking and sweating nervously]
Russia: [smirks and picks up the vodka bottle]
The vodka bottle: "aww hell naww" 😨
Russia: "let's have some fun~"
The vodka bottle: "you gotta be joking, righttt?"
Russia continued to hold the vodka bottle in his hands, his smirk growing wider. He enjoyed seeing the vodka bottle's nervous expression
Russia: [grins] "Don't worry, I'm just messing with you vodka bottle. Though, I do have a special game in mind, if you're up for it~"
Vodka: "okayyy, by the way, why the hell are you holding a weird tube shaped object and a weird ointment?—"
Russia chuckled, then looked down at the objects in his other hand: a weird tube-shaped object and a small jar of ointment
Russia: [smirks] "Oh, these? Let's just say they'll come in handy during our little game. Don't worry about what they are for, just trust me~"
The vodka bottle: "fuckkkk— no—"
Russia chuckled again at the vodka bottle's reaction, clearly enjoying the other's fear.
Russia: [smirks] "Come on now, vodka bottle~ Don't be so scared. I promise you that this will be fun. I won't bite~"
Russia's grip on the vodka bottle tightened ever so slightly
The vodka bottle: "fineeee" [inside its mind] ("awww hell naww, what the fuck man")
Russia smiled, pleased that the vodka bottle had agreed to play his little game.
Russia: [grins] "that's a good vodka bottle. Now, there's a few rules for our game. First, you have to promise me that you won't try to get away or escape, alright?"
The vodka bottle: "yeah yeah whatever"
Russia's smirk widened at the vodka bottle's agreement. He seemed satisfied with the other's cooperation
Russia: [nods] "good. Now, the second rule is that you have to obey any and all instructions I give you. Understood?"
The vodka bottle: "sure—"
Russia's smile grew even more. He was clearly enjoying having power over the vodka bottle
Russia: [grins] "Excellent. And the third, and final, rule is that you have to completely trust me during this game. No matter what I do, you have to trust that I won't harm you. Do you agree to these rules, vodka bottle?"
The vodka bottle: "uhh fine?"
Russia's smile was now bordering on sinister. He could barely contain his excitement
Russia: [grins] "good boy. Now, let's get started, shall we?"
The vodka bottle: "uhhhh— what the fuck?''
Russia chuckled, relishing in the vodka bottle's scared expression. He placed the vodka bottle down on the ground and then held up the weird tube-shaped object
Russia: [smirks] "now, let's start with this object first. Tell me, vodka bottle, do you know what this is?"
The vodka bottle: "nah"
Russia chuckled again at the vodka bottle's ignorance
Russia: [grins] "alright, I'll tell you what it is. This object is a type of lubricant~"
The vodka bottle: "ah hellll naww what the fuck man—"
Russia's smirk widened as he spoke, clearly enjoying the vodka bottle's reaction to the revelation of the object's purpose
Russia: [grins] "I'm guessing you wouldn't know what lubricant is useful for, right?"
The vodka bottle: "I guess?"
Russia chuckled at the vodka bottle's guess. He seemed amused by the vodka bottle's naivety
Russia: [smirks] "well, to put it simply, lubricant is used to make things easier to slide into~"
The vodka bottle: "understandable, have a great day" [tries to walk away]
Russia: "YOU AIN'T LEAVING" [grabs the vodka bottle and takes it to his room]
The vodka bottle: "AAAAAA—"
Russia easily grabbed the vodka bottle and carried it to his room. He chuckled at the vodka bottle's futile attempt to escape
Russia: [smirks] "oh no, you're not going anywhere, vodka bottle. You're mine now~"
The vodka bottle: "NOOOO!!! 😭"
Russia chuckled at the vodka bottle's protests, finding them entertaining
Russia: [grins] "oh, don't worry, vodka bottle. I'm not going to harm you. I just want to play a 'little game'~" [he said, his tone dropping to a sinister octave]
The vodka bottle: "great…" [inside its mind] (I'M COOKED 💀)
*Russia chuckled at the vodka bottle's protests, finding them entertaining*
Russia: [grins] oh, don't worry, vodka bottle. I'm not going to harm you. I just want to play a "little game"~ *he said, his tone dropping to a sinister octave*
The vodka bottle: "NOOOO!!! 😭"
Russia chuckled at the vodka bottle's nervous tone. He looked down at the tube-shaped object and the ointment in his hand
Russia: [smirks] don't worry, vodka bottle, this won't hurt~ [he said as he walked over to the bed]
The vodka bottle: 😨
*Russia climbed onto the bed, positioning himself above the vodka bottle. He looked down at the other, a wicked grin on his face*
Russia: [grins] ready for the fun to begin, vodka bottle?
The vodka bottle: "yeah yeah whatever—" [inside its mind] (WHAT THE FUCK 😨😭)
Russia smirked at the vodka bottle's reaction. He was clearly loving every second of this
Russia: [grins] "aww, don't be so scared, vodka bottle. It's not as scary as it seems, I promise~''
The vodka bottle: "really???"
Russia chuckled, enjoying the vodka bottle's naive nature
Russia: [nods] yes, really. This may feel a bit weird and uncomfortable at first, but I promise once you get used to it, it will feel incredible~
The vodka bottle: "yeah yeah whatever"
Russia smirked again. He placed the tube-shaped object down next to the vodka bottle, then picked up the small jar of ointment
Russia: [grins] now, are you ready for the next part of the game, vodka bottle?