The dim glow of first light shares the room with Victoria as she sits on her bed having already gotten dressed prior to the light of day. The silence within the house coincides with her thoughts and she prepares herself to tell Jacop and Geertrudia that she will be departing. She plans to head west to Bruges and from there seek out work to sustain a room for herself. "This town and these people need not be bothered with my unquiet passions." she thinks.
It's then that she hears commotion downstairs. This is quite peculiar for this is not within the usual hours of which the house becomes alive. What is more, the voices are not of Susanna nor tiny Madelief nor their mother Geertrudia. It sounds as though a group has gathered downstairs.
Victoria leaves her room to descend the staircase. Only after a few steps she can begin to see that many have gathered in the living room including Geertrudia, Jacop and their daughters. The guests have filled the down stairs leaving many to stand. As Victoria makes her presence known the room becomes quiet. She refrains from coming off the stairs.
Geertrudia comes through the crowd to address her, "Victoria, come… there is much to discuss."
She holds her hand out but Victoria holds her palm up in decline. "I will save you the burden. I am truly sorry to all of you for my outburst. This place is a haven for the kind and there was no merit to your witness of passionate squabble. I have decided to leave. Be a burden to your home and your family no longer."
Jacop steps forward and in a voice for all to hear, "You could not be more wrong, dear friend. It is quite the opposite. There are things I know about you, things you never told me still I know them. I know you lost a child in the womb in your youth. I know not a year later your father perished in Egypt. I know you sold your family's properties including your childhood home. Furthermore I know your ancestral castle was raided and burned down by Napoleon's De La Police. Frankenstiens have fallen far from grace."
They both came from a world familiar with high society where it was common practice to veil your misfortune lest you fall victim to the perception of a weak status. But here among the struggling small village there is no status to uphold only a common ground all the community can find in bonding. To know the person who holds the ties that bind them. The gears of Victoria's analytics are turning as she sees this in Jacop's choice to speak of her personal life so openly among everyone. Jacop turns to all in the house and continues, "My old friend forgive me for speaking out of turn with what you carry but we all here know burden. To carry on, in the face of an uncertain world. Even a world we don't agree with. I know the long life you've lived because I have been your friend. I have shared your time. I know what pain is and letting go. My friend, learn as I have learned, for here you are not alone. See that this can be the last place you call home."
Victoria takes a second look at the faces in the room and there is no dismay expressed on them. She has misunderstood the reaction these people are having to her. Geertrudia steps past Jacop to grab Victoria's hand. She holds it in between both of her hands and tells Victoria, "Jacop and I bartered with Bernardo. He owns the vacant house next to his. We took ownership of it and we are giving it to you. We wanted to surprise you last night. Victoria, we want you to stay. Be a doctor, a cultivator of science, the Rhode Heuvals school teacher. Be our friend, be my sister. This is your home now."
The room is quiet as everyone looks to Victoria waiting for her to break the silence. Victoria perceives within that she has found a place that has everything one needs. As time goes on there will be fewer and fewer corners of the world where she can feel safe and comfortable. Eventually, time will no longer favor her. A new light paints this world for her as she finds there are still new moments in this life to find, for she is a woman who has nothing, yet in this moment she has everything. She has come to believe this village is the best example she has seen as a society with kind people raising kind children. She could never have hoped for a better place to settle nor imagined a place where she would be useful in her old age. Conflicted still, there lingers a feeling that all this is the works of fiction where in, that she is favored by fortune to be embraced so tremendously. There is no shaking that despite a prosperous opportunity there is a heavy cloud of ill weather, like a hope undeserved.
Victoria then feels little Susanna wrap around her leg. She looks down to see her big eyes staring back. Susanna asks, "Are you leaving me?"
Victoria responds with tears that break the levee, "No. I'm staying."
Geertrudia lets out a holler that ignites celebration in the rest of the room as everyone rejoices in her decision.
***
As days go by Victoria moves furniture that has been gifted to her by various friends into her new home. Victoria is a vigorous workhorse for her age as the men and young helpers find out as they become exhausted quickly where she is energized till the late hours. She finds time to work with Ignaas and Laurens to have a few tools made for her and in a day or so she will come get them when they are ready.
One evening Jacop and Geertrudia visit Victoria's door. Bernardo is just finishing up moving a table inside. Victoria sees Bernardo out when she hears Jacop say with a cheerful laugh, "Death follows Frankenstein's, huh?" Victoria looks at Jacob before closing her eyes whilst giving him a nod.
"For what purpose hath you spoken such words to Victoria?" Geertrudia asks. "My love, that is her family crest. What are the words Victoria? Boundless… unbridled power of will… endless…" Victoria interrupts to correct him, "Boundless, unbridled power of will, limitless leornian"
Wagging his finger Jacop nods, "Ah yes! Limitless leornian! Inspiring, truly. You see, Death follows Frankensteins is their family motto for how they are hard workers. They work till their muscles burn, and never tire till they have reached their goals. They work like death is following them. It is their lineage."
"Can I say that when I grow tired yet am still eager to gain?" Geertrudia asks Victoria. Victoria raises her hand out as she responds, "Yes! Please do! I hope it brings you encouragement whenever needed."
Bernardo had stopped to listen but now bids so-long, continuing on home. Jacop and Geertrudia had only been by to see how she was settling in. After a brief conversation they also head up the road for the evening. As Victoria returns inside she speaks to herself, "He misspoke. Jacop said 'they' and 'them' as though there are more Frankensteins. Thus he is terribly wrong yet my heart becomes too weary to mention for I am the last Frankenstein. I am the death of my family name."
***
The next day Victoria arrives at Geertrudia's door to collect freshly picked crops that were promised. Lightly knocking she is then answered by Susanna. Geertrudia can be seen in the kitchen tying up a burlap sack bulky with red mammoth fodder beets. She is glowing at the sight of Victoria walking through the house to her with an open mouth smile. It is possible she is more joyous in Victoria's company but she makes it difficult to tell as Geertrudia is always blissfully radiant. As she hands Victoria the sack Susanna dishearteningly asks, "Now that you no longer live with us, does that mean you wont be tucking me in anymore?" Victoria and Geertrudia look at each other and laugh. Geertrudia says to Susanna, "She is moving a few houses away. You will still see her." Victoria holds Susanna's hand when she tells her, "I will still come tuck you into bed whenever you like."
"Tonight?" Susanna chucks out. Victoria finds it all adorable and nods in agreement. "Give me your word?" Susanna questions. Victoria kneels down to be eye to eye with her and with a loving smile she says, "You have my word."
When Victoria steps outside she is met with the presence of Bernardo. He accompanies her to Ignaas's blacksmith workshop that resides opposite of Jacop and Geertrudia's home on the other side of the well. She had requested glass blown decanters and metal frames to elevate them. Laurens, a young Spanish man of nineteen, and eldest son of Kasper and Jacintha is an apprentice for Ignaas. He puts four glass decanters in individual burlap sacks so they can be carried without breaking. He is known to have a serious expression; often focused on the work needing to get done. Laurens's dark complexion brightens with his polite smile as he passes the sacks to Victoria. Victoria recalls overhearing Zoe and Yvonne fawning over Laurens, who, with his laborious work had transformed into a strapping young man wherein forfeiting the long and lanky limbs of adolescence for a well toned build. Victoria could see the love and care that went into raising an astute son. With every visit to Ignaas's shop, she could see the glimmer of pride in Lauren's work as he improved his skill; and with Augusto expressing his admiration for his brother's craftsmanship during morning lessons.
"I hope thous father Kaspar is in good health" Victoria comments to Laurens in Spanish. He replies in English, "He has fallen ill today, nothing too fierce that he needs a barber's call, but still much rest is needed." Bernardo gently takes the burlap sacks off of Victoria's hands as she focuses on the news learned.
"Shame. Please give him my best and come calling if he needs further attention."
"Will do Miss. Victoria." Luarens responds.
Upon arriving at Victoria's new house Bernardo places the burlap sacks down to then become curious when he sees a leather bound journal so unique it screams at him cross the room from the desk it rests on. "What is it you write in there?" Bernardo inquires. She looks up just as he points and she takes pause before responding.
"What is written in there is the life I had. A time I truly fear to forget."
Bernardo walks over and as he takes a seat his lanky long figure bows at his torso as he presumes,"You were married."
That wall she has kept up was there to protect others from her but if it never comes down then no one will be allowed to know who she is. She brings that wall down now.
"I was married once." She replies.
"There must be a devastating reason why you are no longer married."
"No. Why we no longer are married was not devastating."
"Then I assume there were no children."
"There was."
"Forgive me. I did not intend to dishearteningly mention."
"No. It's fine that you asked. I've lost two children."
"The children… they... are what you are afraid to forget?"
Victoria looks over at him and smiles with glossy eyes, "That is the first question you've asked about my previous life. You are quite magical Bernardo for I've never known anyone to get so many answers out of me without asking a single question." She leans on the wall beside the window, "You are wrong. That is not what is in my journal that I fear to forget… thus you are right… I am… afraid… afraid to forget them. Afraid to forget her. I take her with me though it was ages ago she perished in the womb. I think of her life, moments she never got. I think of the gentle loving creature she very well could have been. There were nights I dreamed of her. I dreamed that my little baby came to life again; That it had only been cold and that I rubbed her before the fire and…" She pauses as she stares out the window and slips into a world of thoughts filled with moments that never happened.
Stories she's told her self that began with 'what if'. A little girl that cried for her mother in the dark of the night. A young daughter that wanted more than anything to be just like her. She floats in thoughts of scenarios she has created where her baby stayed here in this life and she watched her grow. In her imagination her daughter grew to be a whimsical Frankenstein and still her heart would break, like all hearts are bound to. In these dreamed up moments she held her now grown baby to comfort her unavoidable pain. A chance to be her daughter's nurturing mother when she needed it. Hoping for a chance to give her daughter the arms of safety. A feeling of embrace that life never granted her from her own mother. Bernardo's voice brings her out of her imagination.
"You rubbed her before the fire, and?"
"She lived."
"Did you love the father of your baby?"
"Thus I felt no hate for that man, still to my dismay there was no love either. No, I knew true love shortly after my husband and I parted."
"A man who is known by you as the worthy presence of love, is a man who deserved to be named."
"His name. His name was Qansuh."
Qansuh. His name is an oil painting on the canvas of her memories that she recollects clearly. The right side of his face is turned toward the late afternoon sun. Light shines through his iris to make the hazel of his eye appear illuminated like the floor of a pond that has caught the golds and browns of autumn foliage with water as clear as glass flowing over it.
She turns to Bernardo, "He was a young Egyptian man that worked for my father. Though my father had hired him as an assistant for some years, I on the other hand only knew his presence for six months. You must know, Though Qansuh was my first true love, I have known love to flourish many times."
"Pray tell, what was the last you've felt of love?"
"That is eight years."
"I see. Wed?"
"Unwed."
"How long was your love?"
"The most I've seen of love, one of eight-teen years."
"That is painful to lose."
"It is."
"If you will allow me to dissect, what was his name?"
"His name was Voivode."
Outside she sees a man walking into Bernardo's yard. A little man fraught with the stress of labor that makes up a diverse topography in the structure of his face. His arms are dehydrated of fat giving the appearance of his skin shrink wrapped around the formations of the muscles. He has slung over his shoulder a fisherman's coat bundled around boots and other clothing. He glances up to see Victoria watching him only to peer back with an unwelcoming fixed sneer.
"It seems Benji has returned, he is making haste to your door." Bernardo gets up from his seat. "I shall see what news my friend has for me from his past days. Dear Victoria, I do wish to return and continue our discussion. You are truly worth the time, my time, for certain; is never squandered with you."
It is then that they both hear a knock at the door. Victoria answers to see Jacop and Knelis. Bernardo greets them and steps out to return to his home. Jacop has all the calm pleasantness about him as a visitor arriving for a friendly cup of afternoon tea. Knelis in comparison has eyes that move with insecurity and all the confusion of an all encompassing uncertainty.
Jacop, taking his hat off to her and then returning it to his head says, "Good afternoon. Me and Knelis have come to drop off fire wood and brush." residing behind the two men is a cart filled with chopped wood and burlap sacks of shrubbery. I have noticed a frost ever so slightly crawling off my window pane this morning and in the past days. I foresee colder evenings. We will set firewood here beside your door paired with a sack of sticks and shrubbery to help with the lighting of it. If ever you need more call upon us and fear not a bother. We wish everyone a preparedness for winter."
"You are saints Jacop and Knelis. Your work is met with my gratitude." Though Jacop's demeanor doesn't change much to nod in gratitude to her compliment, there is an obvious change in Knelis's terribly anxious behavior as Victoria's words then change him to be soothed bringing out a calm bashful side of him.
Still standing at her porch she watches as Jacop and Knelis continue on to other houses. In German, a man can be heard speaking to Victoria from the opposite end of the street, "Good afternoon Victoria."
She sees a middle aged man walking towards her. He strides purposefully as though to chat in passing on his way to other priorities. His hair a lighter blond covered with a tweed cap. His build is quite bulky with all the sculpting of a Greek statue equiped with bulging shoulders and gigantic hands.
"Have you seen Ignaas today? I need his assistance and fear the day is done for his work."
She replies in German, "I have seen him, Albertus. His day of work continues, fear not. You will find him with his apprentice Luarens, in his blacksmith shop."
"You are quite helpful Victoria! I am grateful for you." he replies and continues to walk up the street.
Returning inside, she looks over her gifted wooden table set that resides within the kitchen where pans and mugs hang from an iron framed rack within convenient reach above it. Her desk is in a room adjacent, placed against the wall. The room is an open space with newly built wood boarded floors and bare lumber beams along the wall. After picking up her journal she takes a seat at the kitchen table. Both of her hands lay over the journal. It is bound with leather to enclose the pages entirely with extended space where the spine should be. Three ties are all there is to bound it closed.
A gentle knock is heard and Victoria calls for them to enter. Bernardo enters and Joins her at the table.
"All is well with Benji I presume."
"Yes," Bernardo responds, "I hear fishing is bountiful. Do tell of the time you visit from your journal. I am most eager to hear of it"
"I assure thee, the bindings of this journal have not been untied in ten years."
"Forgive ones lack of deduction. I have grown curious Victoria. Jacop spoke of a family motto of yours. How did it go?"
"Ah, yes. Death… follows Frankensteins."
Bernardo raises his brows, "Tis a bit curious indeed. Bleak even."
"Yes," Victoria nods, "Well you see my father was born 38 years after the Frankenstein Lordship was sold. The family branched off with most finding positions as Abbesses, prince-bishops and canons. So when he fell in love with my mother, a girl who detested the church in all its forms for its grotesque killing of women during the witch trials, he whisked her away to England. She herself was about to suffer to the witch trials here in Germany and he saved her. He started a new by even going as far to change his family crest. Thus henceforth, death follows Frankensteins. It was more of a… 'non ti fermare, dai!' if you will. A moving cause! Words to propel our spirits as a people. To live colossally now for death is not far."
"What a man of legend. Truly, he merited praise?"
"Indeed, there was no man more blinded by optimism than he. Blindness I inherited. It was one anchor that made him great and still was a terrible flaw in the end."
Bernardo sees she is not easily overrun by her emotion but still there is a heart that resides within her. Her face cannot hide all the tells of her jaded thoughts. He stands from his seat, "I forgot. I have a surprise for you." He opens the front door and retrieves a bottle of wine he had left outside. "A celebratory drink with me?"
"A marvelous idea. A celebratory drink." she says. After getting two glasses, he opens the wine. A wave of dark merlot wine crashes in the glasses and she takes the glass Bernardo offers her from across the table. He raises his glass to toast, "To your new home."
She smiles, charmed, "To my home." They hold a gaze for each other as they respect the toast with a sip. Her smile grows larger as she breaks the gaze, "There has been so much said of me and so little of you Bernardo," She says with a blush. Bernardo shakes his head, "There is nothing I wish to say that is more important than you." Victoria, a fifty-two year old woman and yet in this moment she is blooming with a warmness she feels in her fingers and chest that she thought was feeling only reserved for the young. Maybe there is still a spirit for childlike wonder yet to be seen in these years. It has been so long since she sat down alone at a table as the sky sang with darkening oranges and paint strokes of purple. No pressing matters of any sort to interrupt two people comfortable in each others company.
"Please," Bernardo insists, "Tell me more of your father. You loved him?"
"Truly. My father, Johannes Frankenstein, lived charitably. Where the sun rose, to its fall, breaths only taken of his virtues. He stood everyday in opposition to society and still too great to be outcast or ostracized. He walked as though my mother was beside him, making decision with her perspective at the forefront. Making good on all dealings of my development. The most loving father, truly. It is now, in my years age brings a resentment for him. How can I say this? I see the spite I have is not for him but for his optimism. For our family crest. Death follows Frankensteins, should be seen as a warning. Our curse to bear."
Bernardo pouring himself another glass says, "That is quite the confession. I believe those are not easy words for an astounding woman such as yourself to permit me to hear. If you may allow, I must confess. I run from a past in Italy I am not proud of."
"Before you is a woman. Nor judge nor congregation to submit you to trial. Only a woman."
"A beautiful woman." Bernardo raises his glass once again, "With your best wishes at heart I do hope you will welcome my compliments."
"Of course. They are welcomed this evening."
"There is a story you should know of me. One of shame. In Italy… I have known Benji half my life. We were lucky as young boys to survive. See we lived like rats in the streets. We took what we wanted. But we took on work as men and began to know a life where we didn't take what we wanted. Victoria, see, we took, relentlessly we took. Till one day our coin, our beds, our food... we earned. Truly earning out weighs taking. Benji grew to be a fine fisherman and a fair trader. One evening he was met with an unfair trader. I found him in an argument of the utter most lack of rationale. This man who towered over Benji hits him again, again, again. I hit the man to help Benji."
Victoria grabs the merlot and while calmly pouring herself a glass she interrupts, "You killed him."
"I did not mean to, I swear it. This man… I then discover… is a French soldier in Emperor Napoleon's army. It was 1805 when we fled Italy, never to return. That is how we ended up here"
"1805?"
"Yes… have I upset you? I do not speak of my crimes without regret. I simply have no desire to keep anything from you."
"I am not upset. For I too have blood on my hands. Bernardo. Your secrets are safe with me. Grant me the same trust for what I am about to tell you, you must promise me you will never speak of to anyone."
"You have my word Victoria."
Victoria adjusts back in her seat while contemplating where to begin. She has a worrisome glint in her eyes as she makes eye contact with Bernardo before speaking up, "It was in the year of 1800 and the 5th... in the south west of Germany... a man died. His head crushed in a water mill. I went against nature to apply natural science and used the variant forms of mutational blood to attempt resurrecting a man who'd died."
Victoria spends some time explaining the vivid details of her life's work studying a disease in four subjects over the course of twenty-three years. She tells him about her work explaining the vial of blood that she injected the corpse with and how it was his revival that led to the events that transpired that night in 1805.
She continues, "People from Mill Valley, the town nearest to the castle had come to my rescue. They were to never find me, nye, instead they were met with an unfortunate demise. The dead man was once again given life but what resided within him was no longer the will of a man. The combination of the diseases in the blood latched to the tissue and was the key ingredient to bring life to a soulless creature. I was foolish not to deduce such an outcome. I eluded the fires and escaped on a row boat in time. 'Tis where I saw my creature when its unimaginable strength tore my rescuers limb from limb. Heartbroken and mortified, I took my row boat across the river. In hopes my creature would not find me. I continued on through the forest around the mountains. Hoping I would journey back to Mill Valley. Five days travel t'was the length before I reached the town on foot. There was a town no more. The buildings and homes were met with collapse if they weren't reduced to a smoldering pile of black soot. People were pressed into the road lifeless along with the parts of men. I could hear the barking of abandoned dogs. The gnawing of the bearded vultures on the bones of people. Crackling of still burning fires accompanied my own screams. A thought that still bothers me is there was no one left. No one to bury the bodies. No one to tell of the horrors. Not a soul was spared. I walked in search of survivors. I walked for only a short time of the carnage, in fear ones Juggernaut was still there. I have been eluding my crimes till this day. I never sought out Voivode when I left. Thus the fear of leading my creature to him to share the same demise as the town of Mill Valley t'was too unbearable a weight. I abandoned him without a word."
Captivated, Bernardo stares at Victoria as he processes everything. A spark of realization hits him, "And this is the other child? A child you created?" Bernardo questions.
"Yes." Victoria says, eyes downcast. A twinge of pain as she utters the confirmation.
Quickly a confusion overtakes the moment of triumph as he reaches for the wine bottle to pour himself a glass. He asks, "What is this word you are saying? Jugger- Jugger?"
"Juggernaut. It is a word that has been made from the name of the Hindu god- Jagannath. In Dutch it would be Torpedobootjager."
Bernardo translates, "Destroyer."
There is a body language there. One she reads within her expectations. There is an unchanged emotion that carries in his voice. A calmness one has when one is unmoved. It shares a place with other men. Men who didn't see her father's name. Men who didn't see her social status. Men who can easily despise her. Despise her for recognizing their own intellect in her. Despise her for being more educated than them. Men who didn't see a trustworthy person. Men who didn't see a truthful person. Men who didn't see a person. Just a woman. "No. Of course," she thinks, "What could a woman say that holds water in a physical world?" She smiles remembering that unless he has broken from the emergent development this world makes men by - then he is as all men are to act, as though they are cursed to view others as less for their eagerness to be defined as the one true image of a man. As though they are on a pedestal even when they are on even grounds or lower. They could be dead, six feet below in their coffin's and still believe they are the lion of their domain where all are less powerful and beneath them. She aims to not be a mirror image of the very thing she despises and chooses quality of spirit over combating personalities for you can change a man with all the same effort that you can change the wood in a tree. You can water it and keep it healthy or deprive it of nutrient and make it sickly. Both would take time and care. Both would be upon ones decision.
"Do you believe me?" She asks.
"I do." He replies. Within her thoughts she analyzes him. Compares him to other men when they are faced with new knowledge. They become intrigued. They inquire. There is a disposition to disprove or find more proof in order to validate or invalidate. With Bernardo she sees none. Possibly he is no more than a product of the world of men. Where the mindset is "what is there to prove or disprove if it comes from a woman?"
Breaking from the thought she puts the journal in her hands,"Yes. Well, this is all I have from those times. This journal and," She unties the three laces that have kept the journal sealed. Bernardo watches as a glow projects over his face. Victoria holds up a small glowing vial that was tucked into the leather bindings fold.
An awe comes over Bernardo as he stares in wonder at the light it generates for it is a kind he never before has known.
"Like a jar of fireflies." He says. The vial produces a blue glow that at its center is a vibrant milky white color.
Gently, Victoria places the vial back in the spine and folds the leather over once again as she says, "It glows such due to a biological lumination. There are many animals in the world that have this ability to create light. In mixing all four blood vials together a chemical reaction caused them to glow. This is the twin to the amalgamation I injected my creature with."
Bernardo is trying to keep himself grounded as he says unsettled with provoked thoughts, "Victoria, my days are filled with carpentry, I made the chairs we sit in. Your experiment is if not the most, truly incredible story I've ever come across. You, my dear are a rarity. I have seen adventure and joy in meeting you. There is so much I wish to learn of you. Curiosity fills me. Pray tell, what were to happen if someone consumed that vial?"
She raises her brows put off by the thought. "There is no telling what would happen to the human body if someone were to take this vial into themselves. Possibly become catatonic. Die? Or worse, become a monster. I know it gave life to my creation but it is now a long forgotten resemblance of what man it used to be, only a shell now for an unstoppable rage. Now there is a lumbering creature roaming this world evoking ill will on poor unknown souls."
"I perceive that unknown... must be grim for you."
"Quite. I am afraid because I know everything about it and in the detailed workings of its perfection. I am not afraid of not knowing what it can do but instead that there is nothing that can be done for it has no weaknesses. It carries the amalgamation of four diseases that made their hosts the strongest beings to ever have walked the earth. It is the blood of titans, that reside within that one creature. I see now I should have not pursued such a goal to revive life. I wont be the last to do so. It has been with deep reflection that I am aware I squandered time, when time was abundant to live within gratitude of my dire time granted with others."
Bernardo replies, "Truly, I am sorry. I know how much you risk speaking from an unbound tongue. In the company of greater authorities for God you would have been shunned lest they heard you speak blasphemy, prosecuted you may even. I assure you my intentions were not to ask questions to only bring you anything but frustration. That is farthest from my wishes. You are such a wonder Victoria. There are few moments in my days when I don't think of you."
"Your words are well received Bernardo. Understand, I am without the regard of the rest of the world for I am still so passionate in my words and I truthfully do not care who hears me. I have seen and felt so much turmoil I fear nothing to speak with all of my sharp tongue. It could be anyone, it could even be you who turns me in, convicts me for parading out of societies place to have me prosecuted or quieted. I no longer care. I will speak when I wish and I will fear no man or law that wishes to make me feel less than a human."
The warm atmosphere of Bernardo's palm covers the back of Victoria's hand that has been resting on the table. She looks at her hand as a natural blush fills her face and she feels the rough dry calluses on Bernardo's fingers as he softly slides them into her palm. He leans in merely inches from her face with a longing disposition.
"Bernardo?" spoken softly under her breath. Beginning to breathe heavily she can feel the warmth of his breath enter her nose and mouth creating a desire to taste his kiss. She upholds her strength to conceal every indication of the libidinous feelings that are overrunning her.
"Thy dearest Victoria, never. Never. Never. I have seen your mind conveyed like architecture with every new sentence you speak. The very sound of your voice carries convictions of poetry. You damn your family motto and think far less of your name but it is they who are right, there is no mind like a Frankenstein's. No woman or man has done what I have seen you do. There is no assistance I can provide to make you see. For I have never. Never. Seen such a woman. You are… extraordinary. Therefore I would much rather take your place for a crime of speaking or blasphemy than turn away knowing this world is losing you. I would give it all for-"
She collides with him, cutting off his last words. She puts her lips on him, pressing against his lips with both of their skin radiating a feverish heat. They hold this long slow press together. Lingering here as those emotions of yearning, wanting, pining and lust build a flood of endorphins. They kiss and kiss as they stand and in a vigorous way they energetically put their hands all over each other like a race with themselves to feel the new places of someone else.
He lifts her onto the table and buries his face into her neck kissing her fiercely from behind her ear down to her collar bone.
Victoria feels his hands retreat from traveling over her body and instead they make their efforts to disrobe his trousers. She stops him before he can bare himself. She thinks how this is where she would like their affections to lead to, but she will need more than an evening of conversation and a bottle of wine before allowing anyone to have a getting of her body. She understands she aroused him and herself but this is still a pace she intends to keep slow, where slow is her comfortable passage for her heart to fall in love.
"Thy dearest Bernardo," She softly says while they both are frozen still. "My intentions are very much to find union with you. Respectfully I must elude you this evening not to displeasure. I would not be the extraordinary woman you speak of if I stopped being a woman of my word. Young Susanna hath asked of me earlier this day a promise to see her put to bed... this evening. I will not break my promise to that child."
She makes her way off the table and around Bernardo who is as stiff as the stone of a statue. Both in the entirety of his body and the parts of him still covered by trousers.
"I am sorry." Victoria says as she presses out the wrinkled up parts of her skirt. She looks upon his face to then suppress any laugh or snicker for the stone like way he is reacting is quite humorous to her. She kisses his cheek quickly, "Thank you for understanding." She then makes her way for the front door and she leaves saying, "Please, on the morrow, see me whenever possible. I bid thee good night thy dearest Bernardo." She closes the door and Bernardo is still standing pressed against the kitchen table with his hands gripping the waistband of his tweed trousers. But now he is alone as he only loosens up enough to turn his head in complete bewilderment.
***
Sometime later Victoria is with Susanna at her bed as she brushes Susanna's hair. Susanna, already in her night gown acts with a discipline to her routine as she sits up straight to make brushing her hair more convenient for Victoria.
"I saw Albertus today!" Susanna exclaims. "So hath I!" Victoria replies. "He is always working on the mill. It is quite rare to see him in town with his mother, Anushka" Susanna continues, "He is always so kind to me. He says I am the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. My father helped Albertus at the windmill today. I will make windmills for all of the kingdom of the Netherlands when I grow up. I want to make windmills and ships. Truly someday shall I build a grand castle. I will it!"
The mere learning of Susanna's vocabulary growing brings Victoria the purest joy in a way that is like feeling awoken from caffeine as though it is the first time consuming it. She tilts her head back to laugh before saying, "Brilliant child when did you ever begin to say, I will it?"
"Why today. I over heard Father say it to Mother. Thus again, when Laurens Spoke to Yvonne. I will it! Tis powerful as it speaks to the spirit of greatness, does it not?"
"So it does child."
"Yvonne and Laurens look at each other the way my mother and father do. I see they are in love. Do you remember the first time you fell in love Miss. Victoria?"
"I do."
"What was it like?"
"What was it like? Hmm… I can still remember like it was the day before. I can still remember him. His name was Qansuh. I could hear his voice while losing attention of the world around me to journey in his eyes. I can hear the humming bass of his voice but I am unable to make out his words. Forever, the memory of his voice ignites a nostalgia of when I saw him for the first time. Rays of a dying day's sun peered down on him for its remaining moments. The air had no choice but to be still as I felt the tide of his oceanic pull take me in. A gravity coursed through me, pulling me like the magnetic force of two planets inevitable to collide. Through my heart. The booming power of the cosmos only gently whispering there is no where else you are supposed to be but with him. Like my soul knew that I would love him and that I have only been waiting for him. To love him and be loved by him so much that I want to say his name before I die so that it is the last thing I feel on my lips."
Susanna climbs under her blanket, "So beautiful. I can't wait to be in love." Victoria smiles at Susanna, and it is with the expectancy of a child's eagerness to press forward that Susanna quickly moves on, "Miss. Victoria, will you sing me a lullaby?"
"Of course." Victoria answers laughing off Susanna's near sighted attention to Victoria's vulnerability as she picks up the candle stick holder by the finger loop. She looks upward as she considers a song. Her eyes become watered over with tears when she thinks of a song her father had once sung to her as a child. She sings:
"May he grow sturdy through my crooning, may he flourish through my crooning! May he put down strong foundations as roots, may he spread branches wide like a sakir plant! May his heart be as pure as a white lotus.
from this you know our whereabouts; among those resplendent apple trees overhanging the river, may someone who passes by reach out his hand, may someone lying there raise his hand. My son, sleep will overtake you, sleep will settle on you.
Sleep come, sleep come, sleep come to my son, sleep hasten to my son! Put to sleep his open eyes, settle your hand upon his sparkling eyes – as for his murmuring tongue, let the murmuring not spoil his sleep.
May he fill your lap with emmer while I sweeten miniature cheeses for you, those cheeses that are the healer of mankind, that are the healer of mankind, and of thy son, the son of a good man.
In my garden, it is the lettuces that I have watered, and among the lettuces it is the worlds lettuce that I have chopped. Eat this lettuce! Through my crooning, appear for him a wife, appear for him a wife, and appear for him a son! May a happy nursemaid chatter with him, may a happy nursemaid aid him!
Through my crooning appear a wife for my son, and may she bear him a son so sweet. May his wife lie in his warm embrace, and may his son lie in his outstretched arms. May his wife be happy with him, and may his son be happy with him. May his young wife be happy in his embrace, and may his son grow vigorously on his gentle knees.
I am restless, troubled, quite silent, gazing at the stars, as the crescent moon shines on my face. Your bones might be arrayed on the wall! The man of the wall might shed tears for you! The mongoose might beat the drums for you! The gecko might gouge its cheeks for you! The fly might gash its lips for you! The lizard might tear out its tongue for you!
May the lullaby make us flourish! May the lullaby make us thrive! When you flourish, when you thrive, when you labor to the shaking of churns, in your late day find sweet sleep, find the sweet bed my son.
May a wife be your support, and may a son be your fortune. May winnowed grain be your lover, and may the goddess of grain be your aid. May you have an eloquent protective goddess. May you be brought up to a reign of favorable days. May you smile upon festivals.
My son is new born to life, he knows nothing. He does not know the length of his old age. I cry as the crescent moon shines on my face. He does not know the dwelling of the 1000 days.
May you discover, May you eat,
My son, May you be, May you be… good"
Susanna, laying in bed with her eyes wide open, "I wish to learn all the words to that song. It is amongst my favorite song to ever hear. Miss. Victoria, My thoughts soar as high as the birds. I have so much I ponder, I have so much to say."
"I am here Susanna. What is it you wish to mention?"
"There was a man who was one hundred feet tall! He was near the windmill this morning. Thou thinks him a fisherman who hath wandered too far from the shore."
"I see, and what clues might have brought you to that conclusion?"
"Well, he was wearing a fisherman's coat and boots."
"I suspect he was nothing more than a fisherman who does dealings with Benji."
Susanna, sighs, "You are right Miss. Victoria. I see things from a far and make a grand story of the little I truly know."
"It's ok Susanna. Night to thee."
"Miss. Victoria? Before you take your leave. You told me of the Goddess Cailleach you spoke of two names the Scottish called her by. One of them was the Goddess of winter. Praytell, What is thous other name?"
"Well young Susanna, the echoes of clanging could be heard on the mountain sides from the human skulls she wore on her clothes as they banged together. She wildly rode a speeding white wolf as she rose a hammer made of human flesh. Her winters brought storms and death that took the life from all the world. They called her..." Victoria blows out the candle, "...The destroyer."