The door swung open, and Ren stumbled into their apartment, laughter bubbling up uncontrollably as he kicked off his shoes, sending them flying into the living room. "I still can't believe we won!" His words came out in a rush, each syllable coated in the warmth of alcohol. The music still pulsed in his veins, and he felt untouchable, like he could conquer the world… or at least the small space of their shared living room.
Yohei followed behind, a smirk plastered on his face as he leaned against the door frame, arms crossed. He was tipsy but held his liquor better than Ren, who was now swaying slightly on his feet. "You were on fire tonight, man. Must have been nervous though. Couldn't keep your eyes off me, huh?" He winked, the teasing lilt in his voice making Ren giggle even more.
Ren turned around, his face lighting up. "What about you? You were amazing! That last verse? Pure gold! You're like a rap god or something." He swayed again, gripping the edge of the couch for balance. "I should've rapped something too, but I can't rhyme shit like that off the top of my head like you do."
"Maybe it's a good thing you didn't," Yohei replied, chuckling as he made his way to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge for something cold to drink. "The world can only handle so much Ren Akamura on stage in one night."
With a playful pout, Ren flopped down onto the couch, burying his face in the cushions. "You're just jealous because I have better hair than you." He flipped his hair dramatically, laughing as he did so, the sound echoing around the room.
Yohei leaned against the counter, crossing his arms and looking at Ren with mock seriousness. "Right. Because looking like a drowned cat is the ultimate hair goal."
Ren threw a throw pillow at him, laughter erupting from his lips. "You're just mad because I've always been the pretty one!"
"Sure, pretty boy," Yohei shot back, amusement dancing in his eyes. He finally pulled out a can of soda, popping it open with a satisfying hiss. "Want one?"
"Only if you promise to share your secrets," Ren said, managing to sit up straight, the giddiness in his movements reflecting the tipsiness that colored his cheeks. "Like how you manage to look so good when you rap?"
Yohei took a sip from his can, shaking his head in amusement. "It's all in the attitude, Akamura. You gotta own it. Confidence is key."
Ren nodded sagely, though the serious expression didn't quite match his goofy demeanor. "Confidence, huh? Is that why you strut around like you own the place?"
"Exactly! And you should learn from the best," Yohei replied, a grin stretching across his face. He sauntered over to Ren, plopping down on the couch next to him. The warmth radiating from him was intoxicating in a different way than the alcohol.
With a sudden shift in mood, Ren leaned closer, a slight frown marring his previously gleeful features. "Hey, Yohei," he started, his voice low and serious, "do you think we'll always be this close? Like, no matter what happens?"
The moment hung in the air, heavy with unspoken feelings. Yohei tilted his head, regarding Ren with a curious gaze, momentarily sobering. "Of course we will. You're like my brother, man. Nothing's going to change that."
Ren nodded slowly, a bittersweet smile creeping onto his lips. He wanted to believe it, needed to believe it. Even if they wouldn't ever be more than friends, this was still better than not having Yohei at all. "Good. Because I don't want to lose you. Ever."
Yohei placed a hand on Ren's shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. "You're not getting rid of me that easily. Just promise you'll keep the weird laughs to a minimum."
Ren laughed, the moment lifting back into lightheartedness as he shoved his shoulder against Yohei's. "No promises. But let's make a pact, right here and now: we'll always have each other's backs. No matter what."
"Deal." Yohei grinned, raising his can. "To us."
"To us!" Ren echoed, clinking his can against Yohei's, the playful sincerity of the moment wrapping around them like a warm blanket.
The laughter faded into the background as the warmth of the room settled around them. Eventually, the buzz of celebration wore Ren out, and he slumped against the couch, eyes fluttering closed. Yohei glanced over, catching a glimpse of his friend's peaceful face, the remnants of the skull makeup from earlier now smudged and faded.
Yohei couldn't help but chuckle softly to himself at the sight. Ren looked ridiculous, with one eye half-hidden beneath a streak of black paint and the other still adorned with a smudge of white that resembled a ghost more than a skull. A small smile crept onto Yohei's lips as he brushed a stray strand of hair from Ren's forehead, his fingers lingering longer than necessary.
In that quiet moment, Yohei found himself lost in thought, staring at Ren's face, serene, almost vulnerable in sleep. The memories of the night flashed through his mind. The energy of the rap battle, the joy in Ren's laughter, and that lingering feeling in his chest when he'd watched him sing earlier. It was something he hadn't fully grasped until now, how easily Ren filled the empty spaces in his life.
He thought about Ren's tenacity, the way his eyes sparkled with passion when he spoke about music. The way he painted Yohei's face with the careful precision of an artist made it feel intimate, like a secret shared between just the two of them. It was a reminder of how much he admired Ren, not just as a friend, but as someone who saw the world through a different lens, someone who breathed creativity into everything he did.
What is it about him that pulls me in like this? Yohei wondered, his heart inexplicably racing at the thought. He'd always thought of himself as the tough one, the protector, but with Ren, it was different. There was a softness in their friendship, an understanding that went deeper than words.
I care about him more than I should, Yohei admitted silently, a weight settling in his chest. It was confusing, this swirling mix of emotions that felt new yet familiar. Was it friendship? Was it something more?
He brushed his thumb over Ren's cheek, the skin warm beneath his touch. He's been through so much, Yohei thought, feeling a surge of protectiveness wash over him. He deserves the world, and I… I just want to make sure he's safe… happy.
Yohei forced himself to look away, pressing his hand to his forehead as if it would block the thoughts from surfacing. I'm not supposed to feel like this, he thought, resentment flaring up toward himself. He didn't know when it started, this complicated mix of protectiveness, admiration, and…something else. Something that scared him, something he wasn't ready to name.
This is Ren, he reminded himself, a pang of frustration lacing the thought. My coworker, my roommate. My best friend. But no matter how hard he tried to talk himself out of it, his feelings for Ren lingered, weaving themselves deeper into his heart.
A pang of something intense shot through him. He tried to look away, but his gaze was drawn back, fixated on the gentle curve of Ren's cheek, the way his lips parted slightly as he slept. His fingers twitched, the urge to reach out nearly overwhelming. Before he realized it, he was brushing another stray lock of hair away from Ren's face, fingers grazing his warm skin. His breath hitched.
No. No. Don't do this, Yohei's thoughts snarled, recoiling as if he'd been burned. He yanked his hand back, clenching it into a fist. This is Ren. Just Ren. His mind churned, each thought more panicked than the last. This isn't who I am. I'm not— He felt his pulse pounding, denial flaring in his chest like a warning siren. I am not gay.
His stomach twisted, and Yohei felt a surge of resentment at the realization. He had never thought of himself like this, had never wanted to see himself in this way. He'd built a life, an identity, around being tough, unbreakable, a man who kept his emotions at a distance. Loving women, hooking up with women. That was who he was. He could feel frustration building, anger even. Anger at himself, at the way Ren could so effortlessly dismantle his walls, leaving him exposed, confused, raw. He didn't ask for this. He didn't want it.
But another part of him, the part that stayed by Ren's side for the past two years, that had taken on every one of Ren's burdens without a second thought knew he couldn't turn back. He cared too much to walk away. And the thought of anyone else seeing Ren like this, understanding him like this, brought out a possessive, almost instinctive need to keep Ren close.
Then Yohei's gaze drifted back to Ren, the defiance within him faltering. Ren's peaceful face softened something inside him, a warmth he couldn't deny no matter how hard he tried. I'm not supposed to feel like this, he thought, a wave of helplessness washing over him. But in that moment, staring at Ren's relaxed, trusting expression, Yohei realized he'd already lost this battle. Forcing himself to look away, Yohei took a steadying breath, willing the storm inside him to settle.
I'm not going anywhere, he resolved, determination settling into his bones. Not now, not ever.
Yohei carefully stood, stretching the stiffness from his limbs before grabbing a blanket from the corner of the couch. As he unfolded it, his eyes drifted back to Ren's face, paint smudged in streaks that softened his features. His cheeks were flushed from the warmth and the alcohol, and there was a relaxed, almost childlike expression on his face.
For a moment, Yohei just stared, feeling the familiar twist of something he refused to name, something that had only grown louder since tonight. It gnawed at him, the urge to stay close, to reach out.
What the hell are you doing? He shook his head, but even as he thought it, he couldn't stop himself from tucking the blanket gently over Ren, making sure it covered his shoulders. Ren let out a soft, sleepy murmur, nuzzling further into the couch, and Yohei felt his heart stutter. His fingers twitched at his side, aching to reach out again, but he pulled his hand back like it was on fire.
"No," he muttered under his breath, voice barely audible, as though saying it louder might undo whatever restraint he had left. I'm not that guy. This isn't... He swallowed hard, forcing himself to move, to step back.
Without another look, Yohei turned and slipped into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. He leaned back against it, heart hammering, pulse pounding in his ears. But even in the darkness, he couldn't shake the image of Ren's peaceful face, an image that made him feel things he'd rather ignore.