"Gojo Satoru?"
The Anbu of Mist Ninja Village froze mid-breath when Terumi Mei uttered the name. They exchanged stunned glances as if the very air had been stolen from their lungs.
Gojo Satoru.
The man, the myth, the unstoppable force with the ninja world's most legendary bloodline limit. The strongest ninja alive. The guy who single-handedly made "untouchable" an art form.
And here he was, standing in front of them, looking... almost suspiciously carefree.
"Wait, this guy?" one of the Anbu whispered.
Indeed, the tall, silver-haired man exuded a charm that seemed completely at odds with his reputation. Clad in his signature sunglasses and radiating an air of infuriating calm, Gojo's nonchalant smile made it hard to believe he was considered the Mist Village's mortal enemy.
But then, Gojo tilted his head, lazily poking at Terumi Mei's chest with a lollipop stick. "Oh, Mei-chan," he sighed dramatically. "It's been, what? Two years? My, my, you've… grown."
The Anbu collectively stiffened, every kunai now gleaming under the tense sunlight.
"Master Mizukage!" one Anbu barked. "Don't let him disrespect you on our territory!"
Terumi Mei's lips twitched into a grimace as her chakra surged. Satoru, however, was unfazed. He turned his head as if inspecting the ruins of Waterweed Village behind her.
"Your territory? Really?" Gojo placed a hand above his blindfold, pretending to scan the horizon. "I don't see a sign anywhere that says, 'Property of Mist Ninja Village.' Maybe someone should get that sorted."
The Anbu exchanged exasperated glances.
"He's doing it again," one muttered. "The infuriating thing where he makes sense, but you still want to punch him."
Terumi Mei's patience finally snapped. Her chakra flared, the sheer pressure forcing cracks into the ground around her. "Satoru," she said sweetly, though her tone was anything but, "for once in your life, could you stop being insufferable?"
Gojo's grin widened. "But it's my best feature."
"That, and being impossible to kill," Mei muttered, forming hand seals.
In the next instant, she unleashed a torrent of molten lava straight at him. The crimson wave hissed and roared, scorching everything in its path as it surged toward Satoru.
But before the lava could even touch him, it stopped—no, hovered—just inches away from his body, as if an invisible barrier had sprung to life. A moment later, the molten substance splashed harmlessly to the ground.
The Anbu watched in stunned silence.
"Not even a scratch," one whispered.
Another added, "His clothes didn't even singe!"
Gojo, unfazed, popped the lollipop back into his mouth. "You know, Mei-chan, they say jealousy burns, but this is a bit much."
Terumi Mei's eye twitched as she resisted the urge to throw a kunai at his face. "You're as insufferable as ever, Satoru. And stop calling me Mei-chan."
"As you wish… Mei-chan," Satoru replied with a dramatic bow, clearly savoring her irritation.
Terumi Mei clenched her fists. Memories of their past encounters flooded her mind: the humiliating defeats, the ridiculous stunts he pulled, and, of course, the mortifying "disciplinary actions" that he somehow thought were acceptable.
"You're the only man who's ever spanked me," she muttered under her breath, cheeks flushing with a mix of anger and embarrassment.
Gojo's grin turned wolfish. "Ah, fond memories, right? Though to be fair, I think you were asking for it that time."
Her chakra surged again, this time shaking the ground. "Satoru! I swear, if you—"
Before she could finish, one of the Anbu interrupted. "Uh, Master Mizukage? Should we be focusing on the Six Tails Jinchūriki he's holding… instead of letting him rile you up?"
Terumi Mei glanced at the unconscious figure Satoru had slung over his shoulder like a sack of rice.
"Oh, right," she said, her composure returning. Her sharp gaze turned to Gojo. "Why are you here, and what's your business with the Six Tails?"
Gojo shrugged, spinning the Jinchūriki around for emphasis. "Oh, this guy? I just happened to be passing through when your village got flattened by the Akatsuki. Thought I'd do you a favor and save your runaway Jinchūriki before they could snatch him."
The Anbu stiffened again, their suspicion evident.
"Likely story," one muttered. "More like you destroyed the village yourself and now you're making excuses."
Satoru's grin faltered for a moment, replaced by a slightly annoyed pout. "You know, I save one Jinchūriki, and suddenly I'm the bad guy? Tough crowd."
Terumi Mei held up a hand to silence her men. "No," she said, her tone thoughtful. "As much as I hate to admit it, he's telling the truth."
The Anbu gaped at her in disbelief.
"But Master Mizukage!"
"Quiet!" Mei snapped. She crossed her arms, glaring at Satoru. "As much as I despise him, Satoru isn't the type to destroy a village for something as trivial as capturing a Jinchūriki."
Gojo tilted his head mockingly. "Aw, Mei-chan, I didn't know you thought so highly of me."
"I don't," she deadpanned. "I just know you're too lazy to bother."
Gojo chuckled. "Guilty as charged. But hey, at least I'm honest."