Outside the Chūnin Exam venue, the place was abuzz with energy, tension, and an unhealthy dose of nerves. But one person seemed blissfully unaffected by it all.
Gojo sat cross-legged in front of a modest meatball stand, happily munching on a skewer of three-colored meatballs. He looked about as unbothered as a man could be. Beside him, Kurenai Yuhi shot him a curious glance, nibbling her own skewer.
"Do you really think Orochimaru, one of the Legendary Sannin, is going to show up?" she asked, brow furrowing. There was a flicker of concern in her eyes as she watched Gojo, who was, as always, annoyingly calm.
"Orochimaru?" Gojo took a sip of his tea, shrugging as if they were discussing the weather. "The snake guy, right? Big deal. He's just a creepy snake." He popped another meatball into his mouth, looking as if he hadn't a care in the world.
Kurenai sighed, uncertain whether she should be worried or trust in Gojo's absolute confidence. "So... you're really not worried?"
"Look, Kurenai, Orochimaru's strong, yeah. He's a real Kage-level threat," he replied, giving a lazy wave. "But have you met me?" He flashed her a cocky grin, one that said he could probably take on Orochimaru between lunch and dessert. "Old man! Another skewer!" he called to the shopkeeper.
"Right away, sir!" the cheerful vendor replied.
Kurenai's eyebrow arched in amusement. "Alright, so if you and Orochimaru fought, who would win? You… or him?"
Gojo didn't miss a beat. "If he pulls out all his creepy tricks and somehow reincarnates the First and Second Hokages, yeah, he migth cause me a litle trouble. But would I lose?" He let out a chuckle, one that made it sound like losing was an idea that had never even crossed his mind. "Nah, I'd win."
She shook her head, half in disbelief, half amused. "Aren't you the same guy who said Orochimaru's one of the most unpredictable ninjas in history?"
"He is," Gojo replied with a smirk, as if the whole thing was a minor inconvenience. "But I'm, well... me."
Kurenai was about to ask more, but Gojo suddenly grew serious for a moment, his gaze sharpening. "Look, Orochimaru is a mess the Third Hokage's gotta handle. It's their whole student-master soap opera. I'm not here to babysit old Hokage grudges."
Then he turned, his eyes narrowing at her in that unmistakably scrutinizing way of his, as though he was studying her every feature. Kurenai shifted slightly, self-conscious.
"What? What is it?" she asked, crossing her arms defensively.
Gojo's gaze trailed from her face all the way down before he poked her gently in the shoulder. "Huh. You've... gained some weight," he commented with a completely straight face, as though this were the most reasonable observation in the world.
Kurenai's jaw dropped, her face flushing red as she stood abruptly, fists clenched. "Excuse me?!"
"Oops, my bad." Gojo quickly raised his hands in a mock gesture of apology, his grin utterly unapologetic. "Hand slipped. Really."
"You are so going to regret that," she shot back, her eyes sparking with irritation.
Gojo just chuckled. "Oh, come on, Kurenai. Try all you want, but you know you'll never actually touch me." He nodded toward the teapot in her hand. "Besides, you wouldn't throw that, right? Think of the mess!"
Kurenai gripped the teapot with a smirk, narrowing her eyes. "What if I'm secretly an undercover spy for Orochimaru? Bet you didn't see that coming."
Gojo leaned back, chuckling. "Right. You? A spy? That'd be about as solid as a paper umbrella in the rain."
With mock menace, she pretended to toss the teapot, stopping mid-throw. But Gojo, ever quick, raised a finger, stopping it in mid-air, smirking as he brought it gently back down.
"See? You're cute, but harmless," he said, sending her an infuriating wink.
"Sometimes I hate you, you know that?" Kurenai grumbled, though she couldn't quite hide her grin.
"Yeah, yeah," Gojo replied, as casually as ever. "Hate me all you want." But his grin faded briefly as his infamous Six Eyes focused on something in the distance. He turned back to Kurenai with a mischievous smile. "Looks like there's some fun about to start. Catch you later, Kurenai."
And in the blink of an eye, he vanished, leaving Kurenai staring at the empty space he'd occupied.
"Did he just call me... cute?" she muttered, her face heating up. Then, as if realizing how silly she sounded, she grumbled, "Idiot."
Meanwhile, over at the Chūnin Exam venue, trouble was brewing of a different kind.
"What? Are Konoha's Genin all this weak?" Kankuro sneered, holding a squirming Konohamaru by his collar. A string of chakra threads stretched from Kankuro's hand, effectively tripping Naruto, who scowled in frustration on the ground.
"Hey! Let him go, Kankuro!" Naruto shouted, fists clenched as he glared at the smirking Sand ninja.
Kankuro just laughed, pressing Konohamaru against a nearby pole. "What're you gonna do about it, Naruto? You're just some loudmouth with no strength to back it up."
"Oh, yeah? I'll show you!" Naruto growled, crossing his fingers in a familiar seal. "Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
With a puff of smoke, Naruto was suddenly surrounded by a dozen clones, all ready to charge at Kankuro. "You may be from the Sand Village, but that doesn't mean I'm scared of you!"
Kankuro scoffed, reaching behind him to draw out his puppet, still bandaged and menacing. "You really don't know when to quit, do you?"
Temari, Kankuro's sister, watched the exchange from the sidelines, rolling her eyes. "Kankuro, remember we're here to observe, not to start a scene," she sighed.
But Naruto was already charging forward, clones and all, determined to prove his point.
And somewhere up above, hidden among the rooftops, Gojo watched the chaos with a smirk, munching on a fresh skewer of meatballs. "Ah, youth. They're all just looking for trouble."