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Lord of Profanity

Lord_Profane
28
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 28 chs / week.
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Synopsis
“I seduced the daughter of the Jade Emperor”. “I was sentenced to death, but it didn’t matter…” “I already achieved my goal”. … “W-what is going on?” “Impossible!” “He’s severed the wheels of space and time, he’s about to jump into the river of time! Stop him!” It was too late to stop him though, the Lord of Profanity disappeared, jumping into the river of time to go back in time. To restart it all over…, this time, with experience, and a system. [You have gained profanity skill: Heavenly Touch!] [You have gained profanity skill: Ultimate Massage!] “Throughout heaven and earth, I alone am the profane one!”
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Chapter 1 - The Lord of Profanity

"What?!"

"Insolence!"

"He dares to sleep with my daughter?!" The voice of the Jade Emperor blasted through his palace like thunder, sending quakes through the world.

The Jade Emperor was the strongest cultivator in the world.

Despite living over a thousand years already, he was a handsome middle-aged man. He had beautiful long jade green hair that cascaded down his throne, accentuating his jade green eyes.

He was shirtless, exposing his indestructible jade skin like gemstones.

As one of the few 9th realm cultivators in the world, an Emperor, few dared to cross the path of this powerful cultivator, literally everyone feared him, except mad men who didn't fear death, scoundrels like the Lord of Profanity.

The palace of the Jade Emperor was one of the most secure places in the world, and in its deepest part was the chambers of his daughter, his most prized possession, one of the most beautiful saints in the whole world, Saint Caia.

To think that the scoundrel slept with her…!

Simmering in rage, this Emperor's will affected the world, changing the weather and climate as clouds gathered high above in the sky, prelude to a terrifying storm that would sweep across the continent.

"How did that scoundrel infiltrate my palace?!" He growled, his deep guttural vocal cords sending vibrations through the world.

His jade skin glowed fearsomely, in an expression of his rage.

"I-I don't know, Emperor, w-we, t-the palace was secure when…"

"Enough!"

"Bring him before me!" He growled.

"Y-yes Emperor". His servants rushed off to bring the scoundrel in.

As the strongest human in the world, the Jade Emperor had a lot of influence and not just that, the strongest men in the world also had designs on his daughter.

This was why at this moment, immediately after hearing of the news, some of the strongest men in the world gathered at his palace, all raging at the scoundrel for laying his dirty hands on the saint.

They would skin him themselves!

And finally, the scoundrel was dragged into the palace.

Shirtless with only dirty brown trousers covering his lower parts, his upper body was uncovered, exposing his perfect shape, clean abs, and his annoyingly handsome face with silky black hair.

He had a carefree look on his face as he was dragged into the throne room of the Jade Emperor, the strongest man in the world.

He was dragged in by 2 Saints under the employ of the Jade Emperor.

Being a mere Lord of the 7th realm, a realm weaker than a Saint, the Lord of Profanity was nothing but an ant before the Jade Emperor which made his defiant act against the Emperor's daughter even more infuriating.

As he was dragged into the throne room, the suitors of the Saintess glared at him with gazes that could kill.

Colonel Brutus stared at the powerful men in this throne room.

Yes, his first name was Colonel, he wondered what crack his grandfather was on to name his son Colonel.

Staring at these powerful men, Brutus, the Lord of profanity had a teasing smile on his face, showing no signs of fear which infuriated them even more.

'The Lightning Emperor…' he counted.

'The Inferno Emperor…'

'The Lord of Shadows…'

'The QuickSilver Saint…'

'The Sky Emperor…'

'…'

There were at least 2 dozen cultivators who could kill him in a heartbeat gathered in the throne room of the Jade Emperor at this moment.

Adding the Jade Emperor into the equation, the Lord of profanity was doomed to die today yet he showed no signs of fear, looking for one more face.

'And Saint Caia, the Darkness Saint'. He counted with a smile on his face, blowing a kiss in her direction.

'The nerve!'

The powerful men present felt a strong urge to rip his body apart, tear him till all that was left was blood and bones yet they didn't move, because the Jade Emperor didn't order it yet.

Noting the insolence of the Lord of Profanity, the Jade Emperor felt even more incensed as his eyes narrowed dangerously.

Thud!

The 2 Saints dragging him threw him at the feet of the Jade Emperor.

Struggling to his knee, the Lord of Profanity looked up at the Jade Emperor. "Hey old man, it was not personal, you feel me?"

"Hehe," he chuckled. "I'm just that good at pleasing women".

The Jade Emperor pierced him with a gaze that was as sharp as a sword. "How did you do it?" He growled in a deep voice.

"My daughter is a Saint, she's stronger than you, how did you force yourself on her, you scoundrel?"

"Force myself on her?" He chuckled again. "I think there must be a misunderstanding here, Jade Emperor".

At that moment, he inclined his head to look in her direction just in time to see her stand up. Saint Caia started walking in his direction with an even look on her face.

Despite seeing her already, he could not help but be mesmerized by her beauty.

This black-haired lady was the epitome of dark-themed beauty.

Her black eyes were like ruby, mesmerizing to anyone who laid eyes on it. Her skin was effortlessly smooth and fair, glowing like jade, just like her father's.

She wore a black and purple gown that perfectly accentuated her curves.

Her frontal formation was full, round, and set like the indomitable battle formation of Leonidas and his 300 in the battle of Thermopylae.

Her curves were smooth, perfect like the contours of reality itself.

As for her backside? They were just big enough to make any man gulp in desire, either mortal or immortal.

They were soft, swaying slightly as she walked.

Saint Caia walked till she stood above him, looking at him with a complicated look in her eyes. "I will ask you one last time, Lord Profane, will you marry me?"

"…!"

Shock! Outrage…!

The powerful men in attendance were flabbergasted!

The Jade Emperor was equally shocked, staring at his daughter with a complicated look before looking at the puny cultivator again, his rage amplifying. 'This scoundrel! What did you do to my daughter?!'

Shockingly though, the Lord of Profanity shook his head. "I already told you, I love you but I can't settle with you now, I've not enjoyed the full pleasures of the world yet".

"…!" More shock spread through this throne room.

"Either ways, thank you for setting this up, I owe you big time".

The Jade Emperor stood up in rage, towering above the puny cultivator. "The nerve of you to reject my daughter in front of…!"

The Emperor barely spoke when the scoundrel's hand moved. He didn't react though, his body was the toughest in the whole world, no other Emperor could damage him not to talk of a puny Lord.

But the Profane Lord's right hand didn't aim to attack, but to grab.

Bam!

The Lord of Profanity grabbed a jade rod firmly, feeling its metallic hardness as it stood firm.

"…!" The Jade Emperor stood, petrified in shock.

It was as if time paused.

If the Jade Emperor's skin was made of jade, so also was the rod between his legs. And rumors said the key to his power was his jade rod.

Well, last night when he had a cozy time with the Saint of Darkness, Brutus confirmed that it was not just a rumor, so here he was, in contact with the single most powerful tool in the whole wide world.

"W-w-what are you doing?" Stunned, the Jade Emperor asked.

No Emperor in the world had the power to sever the wheels of time and space, only move it a bit.

But at this moment, after extensive preparations for over a decade, finally, the Lord of Profanity had his grasp on the one tool he needed most to complete his plan, the rock-hard rod of the Jade Emperor.

With a sinister smile on his face, he squeezed, then…

BZZZT!

It was as if reality was severed.

"W-what is going on?"

"Impossible!"

"He's severed the wheels of time and space, he's about to jump into the river of time! Stop him!"

It was too late to stop him though.

With the Jade Emperor in agony, the Lord of Profanity disappeared from the throne room, jumping into the river of time to go back in time.

[Profanity System Initialized…]