Chereads / The Beast Tamer's Guide / Chapter 5 - Chapter 5. Paperwork and Pie

Chapter 5 - Chapter 5. Paperwork and Pie

C5 - Paperwork and Pandemonium

Kael stood at the entrance of Emberfall's newly opened Guild Registrar Office, a massive parchment held under one arm and a determined grin plastered on his face. Today was the big day—the start of *The Argent Order*. He had lofty dreams of a guild packed with fearless beast tamers, warriors, and mages, all working together to become the town's most renowned guild. Only one small obstacle stood in his way: the mountain of paperwork required to make it all happen.

"Welcome!" chirped the receptionist, a tall, lanky elf with an oddly cheerful smile. "Are you here to register your guild?"

"Absolutely!" Kael declared, slamming the parchment on the desk. "The Argent Order is here to claim its place in history."

The receptionist took a moment to examine Kael's parchment and his enthusiasm. "Right, let's get you started, then. Just a few... um, documents to sign."

"A few?" Kael asked, suddenly nervous.

"Yes, only about seventy-five or so forms," she replied, sliding over a thick stack of paperwork that towered to her chest. Each page had fine print that seemed to shrink the longer he stared at it. Kael gulped, the daunting task of guild management looming larger than any dragon he'd ever encountered.

"Uh… okay, no problem," he muttered, trying to convince himself. "Just... paperwork, right?"

He grabbed a quill and started on the first page. It began innocently enough: basic questions about the guild's name, goals, and mission statement. He was about halfway through when he hit the real sticking point.

**Guild Responsibilities and Code of Conduct for Members**

*In cases of tavern brawls, who will be responsible for damages?*

*Please state the consequences for failure to feed guild-owned mounts.*

"Do I need to have answers for all of these?" he whispered, feeling sweat bead on his forehead.

"Yes, it's quite important to specify such things," the receptionist replied without missing a beat. "You wouldn't want to be sued by the stable manager, trust me. It happened last year with a guild called *The Drunken Ravens*."

Kael stared blankly, caught between disbelief and a reluctant acceptance of reality. "Right… no tavern brawls… feed mounts… got it." He scribbled away, hoping his answers made enough sense.

But as he worked through form after form, the absurdity only grew. By the time he reached the fifth stack, he'd already had to decide on a treasury policy, designate a treasurer, and, for some inexplicable reason, determine the guild's official stance on *goat-related incidents*.

"Is this *really* necessary?" he asked as he filled out a section titled "Statement of Guild Interests: Concerning Regional Geese."

The receptionist gave him a sympathetic smile. "Guild life can get... chaotic. It's best to be prepared for every eventuality."

Kael groaned and sank back in his chair, feeling more drained than he'd felt after any battle. He glanced around, noticing other budding guild leaders struggling with similar stacks of paper, some visibly defeated.

Beside him, a dwarf was furiously scratching his head over the "Guild Nap Schedule" section, muttering, "Shoulda gone solo…"

After what felt like hours, Kael finally reached the end. He'd answered questions he'd never thought he'd be asked, such as the "Number of Cats Permitted in Guild Hall" and the critical "Potion Mixing Policy: Explosive Exceptions Clause." His brain was fried, his hand cramped, but he'd done it. He slid the completed forms across the desk triumphantly.

"All done!" he declared, barely keeping his voice steady.

The receptionist glanced over the stack, quickly flipping through the pages. "Oh, fantastic work! Just a few more details to finalize."

Kael froze. "More? What else could there be?"

"Oh, just minor logistics—hiring guild staff, establishing initial guild ranks, and, of course, securing guild headquarters."

"Guild headquarters?" Kael repeated, realizing he hadn't even thought that far ahead. "Like… an actual building?"

The receptionist nodded. "Of course. You can't be a guild without a place to call home. You'll need something with enough space for meetings, gear storage, creature care facilities, and a recruitment area."

Kael's mind raced, envisioning his dream guild hall: a sprawling fortress with banners, training grounds, and a grand hall. Then reality set in. All he could afford was likely a rundown cottage at the edge of Emberfall.

"Oh, and I almost forgot—you'll need to come up with an initial recruitment plan. New guilds often find it challenging to recruit members right away. Freebies help—like pies, or free potions."

Kael slapped his forehead. "So, I need to bribe people into joining?"

The receptionist smiled. "Think of it as an *incentive*. The best guilds are those that stand out and make a name for themselves. How will The Argent Order inspire people?"

Kael's mind raced as he tried to come up with something, anything, that would catch people's attention. "Uh… how about a… Guild Mascot?"

"Oh, excellent idea! Mascots always draw attention." She handed him yet another form, titled *Declaration of Guild Mascot and Insignia*. "Just fill this out, specifying the animal and the symbolic significance to your guild."

After a brief moment of soul-searching, Kael scribbled down "a fierce baby wyvern" as their mascot, hastily inventing a significance involving "courage, loyalty, and fire."

Finally, he was done—or so he thought.

"Alright, that's the initial paperwork completed!" the receptionist said, beaming at him. "You're officially recognized as a provisional guild! Now, we just need the registration fee…"

"Wait. I have to pay for this too?" Kael's head spun. "I've just filled out a thousand pages of forms, planned for goats and geese, and invented a mascot. Isn't that enough?"

"Afraid not," she replied with a shrug. "Guild registration comes with a fee, mostly to cover the paperwork costs and ensure we can help new guilds succeed." She quoted a sum that made Kael nearly faint.

He reluctantly handed over his coin pouch, trying not to think about his savings disappearing into the guild office's coffers.

"Congratulations!" The receptionist stamped his final document with a flourish. "The Argent Order is officially registered in Emberfall. Your guild charter will be announced at the town square by the end of the day."

Kael staggered out of the guild office, barely able to process what he'd just gone through. As he stepped back onto the bustling streets of Emberfall, he looked down at the shiny, newly printed guild badge in his hand. Despite the exhaustion and the absurdity, he felt a glimmer of pride. *The Argent Order* was real now—officially, legally, and financially. Now all he had to do was recruit, build a headquarters, and convince Auron to handle at least half of this nonsense.

He trudged away, already rehearsing how he'd convince people to join. Maybe he'd get lucky with a few free pies.