The air was thick with the weight of failure. Wan's muscles screamed for rest, but he couldn't stop. He had to keep going, had to keep trying. He could feel the eyes of the villagers on him as they watched from a distance—silent, judgmental, almost like a reminder that he didn't belong. He was just another outsider, fumbling through something that wasn't meant for him.
His fingers trembled as he extended his hand, trying once more to summon the Shade. He'd seen Kai do it—watched the shadows respond to his every movement, swirling around his fingers like an extension of his will. But when Wan reached out, there was nothing. Nothing but the crushing weight of the air pressing down on him. Every time he tried, it felt as if the very shadows recoiled from him, pulling back, as though they had no intention of acknowledging his presence.
Kai stood a few paces away, his arms crossed, his face unreadable. "You're still trying to force it," he said, his tone distant. "Shade doesn't respond to force. It's not a tool to be wielded."
Wan's chest tightened, but he ignored it, pushing himself harder, trying again. "Then what am I supposed to do?" His voice cracked, raw with frustration. "I've tried everything, and nothing happens. Am I just not good enough for this? Is that it?"
The wind blew through the clearing, making the trees sway and groan, but for Wan, everything felt still. Silent. Like the world was watching him, waiting for him to fail.
Kai's gaze softened, but only for a moment. "It's not about whether you're good enough. It's about whether you belong." He looked toward the village, then back to Wan. "Shade isn't just something you use. It's in us—our blood, our bones, our history. Only the Tenebri have ever mastered it. You're trying to take what doesn't belong to you."
Wan's stomach churned. Every word felt like a reminder that he was an intruder in a place that wasn't his. His hands fell to his sides in defeat, his breath coming in shallow, ragged gasps.
"I didn't ask for this," he whispered. "I didn't ask to be here. I don't even know who I am. I don't know where I come from."
Kai's expression remained unreadable. "And yet you're still here. That's your choice. But your choices have consequences. You're not Tenebri. You don't have their history. You don't have their blood."
The words stung more than Wan cared to admit. He was nothing. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how desperately he reached for the Shade, it would never respond to him. The villagers would never see him as one of them, would never accept him into their fold. He had no place here. He had no roots. He was a stranger, an outsider—a shadow of a man in a land that wouldn't claim him.
A deep ache settled in his chest, something colder than the evening air. "Then why should I even try?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. "What's the point?"
Kai didn't answer immediately. The silence stretched, thick and suffocating. Finally, he spoke, his voice almost reluctant. "Because you're still here. You're still trying. And that means something. You may not have the blood, but you've got something else. Something I can't explain." He looked at Wan, and for the first time, there was something other than detachment in his eyes. "But that doesn't make this easy. It's never been easy for outsiders. Shade takes years—decades, even—for the Tenebri to master. They grow up with it in their bones, in their very being. It's not something you can simply pick up. Not for you."
Wan's stomach twisted with anger, with self-loathing. "So I'm just supposed to accept that I'll never be more than this?" he spat, taking a step forward. "An outsider? A failure?"
"You're asking for something that's never been given to someone like you," Kai said, his voice flat. "And I'm telling you—you can't force it. You have to earn it. If you want to learn Shade, if you want to prove you have the strength to walk this path, you need to understand that it's more than just power." He paused, eyes darkening. "It's a bond—a sacred one. It's something that takes years to understand. But you? You've got a fraction of that time. You're an outsider in a world that doesn't want you."
Wan's legs buckled beneath him, and he sank to the ground, his head spinning. His chest tightened with a sharp pain, as if the very earth had decided to reject him. He was alone—truly alone—in a place that could never be home. The villagers, the elders, even Kai—they all looked at him as if he didn't belong, as if he were nothing more than a temporary nuisance. No one had asked him to be here. He hadn't chosen this place, and yet here he was, trapped in a world where he would never be accepted.
"I don't even know who I am," Wan repeated, the words tasting bitter on his tongue. "I don't know why I'm here. All I know is that I need this—I need this—but I'm not them. I'm not like them."
Kai's gaze softened again, but it wasn't a look of sympathy—it was something else, something like quiet resignation. "No. You're not like us. But that doesn't mean you can't try. It just means it will be harder. The harder you fight to prove you belong, the more it will hurt when the world reminds you that you don't."
Wan stared at the ground, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. I don't belong here. The thought was like a weight pressing down on his chest, suffocating him. But even in that suffocating feeling, there was a spark. A flicker of something that refused to die, no matter how much he wanted it to.
No matter how much he was pushed away, no matter how much he was told he wasn't meant for this, Wan couldn't let go. He wouldn't. Not yet. Because in this strange, hostile land, even if Shade wouldn't come to him, even if the villagers would never accept him, there was still something in him that refused to quit.
"Then I'll fight," he said, standing up slowly, his voice trembling but determined. "I'll fight until I collapse"
Kai didn't reply. He just watched Wan, his expression unreadable. But the faintest hint of something—respect, perhaps, or maybe just acceptance—flashed in his eyes.
"Then prove it," he said softly, turning away. "We'll see if you can make it. But understand this: if you can't learn Shade, you will leave here broken. The Tenebri don't take kindly to those who don't belong."
Wan nodded, his heart hammering in his chest. He didn't know what the future held, but one thing was certain: he would do whatever it took. He would make a place for himself. Even if it meant tearing apart every piece of himself to do so.