Reasons To Live

Rain...that's all I remember from that moment. I don't know how I ended up on top of that barrier, nor do I fully understand what changed my mind. It's as if my mind had completely shattered, leaving only darkness. But then, in that single moment, everything clicked, and I understood... I had to live—not for my own sake but for theirs.I HAD TO!Three days earlier..."Get up, sleepyhead!"My sister threw a pillow at me, startling me awake."Ugh, can't you wake me up like a normal human for once in your life?""YOU DARE WISH THAT? Especially after that spider you put in my hair yesterday?" she puffed out her cheeks and opened the window. "Anyway, get up, or you'll be late. I have to go too.""Yeah, yeah, go to school, you Problematic Child." I got up quickly—just in time to dodge another flying pillow.Looking out the window, I was pleasantly surprised by the weather. It was a rare sunny day for late October, although the morning chill still sent a shiver down my spine. "Well, beggars can't be choosers, I guess."With some spare time before work, I set my alarm for fifteen minutes and began my meditation. Usually, I'd meditate once every couple of days to calm my overthinking, but since starting my job, I'd found it helped me concentrate. I'd begun devoting the first ten to fifteen minutes of every morning to it.After finishing my meditation and washing up, I walked into the kitchen, immediately catching the smell of pancakes."Morning!" my mom greeted me with a bright smile as she served food to my father and sister."Morning," my dad said plainly, engrossed in his newspaper."Morning," I echoed, grabbing a plate and sitting down. "I'll grab a bite and shower quickly, or I'll be late.""Mhm," my mom replied, smiling.After my shower, I found my sister and dad already gone. My mom was cleaning dishes."Mom, take a break. Ellie's gonna wash those when she gets home.""It's fine. I'm too lazy to sit around anyway. Besides, she'll start with her 'I'm exhausted' speech as if school's a torture chamber.""Well, I don't know how it was for you, but these days, school basically is torture." I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly."Yeah, yeah," she rolled her eyes.Normally, I was a fast dresser, but I guess the thought of going to the office had sapped some of my motivation because I was ten minutes late to work that day. Or maybe it was my cat, Nua, loudly demanding her food and tearing open the package herself. She's such a handful sometimes."Alex, that's the second time this week. Do you really want to leave for vacation while slacking off at work?"My boss always tried to be overly strict and nitpicky with me, especially after our last argument over some missing files—a discussion that had embarrassed him when he realized the files were on his desk the entire time. Ever since then, he's had this strange "need to assert authority" with me."Well, I figured it wouldn't hurt, considering most people here do as they please anyway. But all jokes aside, there was an old lady looking for directions outside. I couldn't just leave her," I replied, maybe with a little too much sarcasm."One of these days, your attitude's going to get you in trouble, Alex. Better watch it.""Aye, aye, captain," I said, turning back to my computer.After six hours of work, I'd finished early, with two extra hours free. I noticed Oliver passing by, looking more glum than usual."Those jerks at it again, huh?" I nudged Oliver's shoulder, startling him."Ah! It's you, Al. Sorry, I'm a little out of it today. Didn't get much sleep. But no, don't worry—it's not them. They've backed off a bit...ever since you told me not to give them anything anymore," Oliver replied, fidgeting nervously.I wasn't a people person, but even I could tell Oliver was lying. A faint bruise under his left eye, hidden by poorly applied makeup, confirmed my suspicions.Oliver was a nice guy. I'd only been at the job six months, while he'd been there twice as long, making him technically my superior. But he felt more like a little brother. Despite both being nineteen, he looked and acted like he was sixteen, while I—by his and my family's assessment—looked twenty and acted like an old man.We'd quickly bonded on my first day—two "weebs" with glasses and all, though he only wore his for work. But beyond that, we were different: he was tall, blond, and sensitive, while I saw myself as an average-looking, average-height, dark-haired clown."Say, Oliver, I'm going on a family trip tomorrow. Want to hang out before I go?"I wanted to cheer him up. It was almost Halloween—no time to be gloomy."Um...I don't really feel like it today," he said, sounding regretful."Oh, come on! I might be gone ten days, maybe longer—who knows? Dracula might get me in Transylvania.""What vampire would want to eat a clown? You'd taste funny," he grinned, proud of his joke."That's it—you're punished for that terrible joke. Three beers, minimum!""Fine,tomorrow is my day off anyways" Oliver replied, a bit more cheerful.After saying goodbye at work, I met Oliver at a bar. Neither of us was a lightweight, but after five beers, I lost count. All I knew was that Oliver had passed out, and it was up to me to get him home.Getting a taxi was a challenge; I barely knew the name of the street, let alone the exact directions. But somehow, we made it near his apartment, and I half-carried him up to the third floor."What do we have here? Little Ollie, drunk and carried by this four-eyed possum. Now that's hilarious."My thoughts were interrupted by what I could only describe as scum. Three guys, about our age, sat on the stairs—"wannabe gang" members, judging by their tattoos and attire."Careful, Jake, he might squeal," the guy to the right laughed, while the third one made squealing noises."Ha...F* off, losers. Go jerk each other off or go home, if you're lucky enough to have one," I spat, feeling the anger rise in me.I'm usually not the angry drunk type. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was knowing these guys had beaten up Oliver before."whooh, looks like we found the dumbass who like Oliver needs to learn to respect people" the tall guy in the middle stood up, judging by the recent scar on his eyebrow and his clearly month-old broken nose that was not healed right way this guy was "trouble" kind of category"Sounds tough, coming from a guy with a broken nose and a barely-healed eyebrow. Did other people make you 'learn to respect people,' or did you just fall on your face?" I shot back, my tone dripping with sarcasm.The stars were beautiful—that's all I could think about after the first punch landed. His fist hit my face harder than I'd have thought possible, sending sparks across my vision as I dropped Oliver to the floor. As I lay there, dazed, I looked up to see the tall guy coming at me again."Alright, I'll give you that one. I deserved it," I said just as his fist connected with my face a second...then a third...then a fourth time.snapping out of it, I grabbed his shirt and slammed my head forward with all my strength, shattering his nose again. Turns out, my forehead is pretty tough."UGHHH!" he screamed, falling back, clutching his nose in pain."What? I think it looks better now, you bastard!" I shouted, nearly sober now, as I lunged at him, fists flying. I landed a few solid punches before Oliver's voice stopped me"Stop!" Oliver looked at me, his expression a mix of shock, disappointment, and—fear?The tattooed guy lay unconscious, his face swollen,painted with blood and barely recognizable. His "friends" had fled, and I looked down at my blood-streaked knuckles. Oliver stared at me, mouth open.Without another word, I left the apartment complex and headed home. My glasses were almost shattered, and blood trickled from my knuckles. It was late—3 a.m., and the streets were deserted. A heavy October rain washed over me, cool and soothing. Normally, I love the rain, and tonight it was convenient, letting me rinse my nose and hands clean before I got home.By the time I reached my apartment and climbed the stairs, I was completely sober. My mind was racing, every kind of doubt flooding my thoughts.I hadn't fought anyone in over ten years—not since I broke a bully's hand back in school. After that, I'd learned to avoid conflict, to dodge risky situations. But now I'd thrown myself into a fight. No, I'd caused it, and the consequences lingered in my mind.Would Oliver be okay? Would we ever be friends again? Had I scared him? Was I just a monster in his eyes now? What would my family say? I wasn't a kid anymore; these things don't just happen without consequences.When I opened my apartment door, I saw a plate with a sandwich on the dining table and a small note from my sister: "Well, we waited, but you're late. Eat if you're hungry, then get some sleep, slowpoke."I smiled, letting go of the doubts and guilt, and headed for the shower. going straight to bed Afterwards, but sleep didn't come easily. My habit of overthinking took over, and everything that had happened ran through my head many more timesWhat should I have done? Was there a better way to handle it? Those three had already picked a fight; it's not like I started it out of nowhere. I wasn't afraid of them. but besided all of these worries, one thing concerned me the most.I was worried about my friend: Oliver—and the words I'd left him with."This... This is how you deal with scum like them, Oliver. Never forget that."Those were my last words to him. My last words ever spoken to him.End of ChapterNotes:This is my first story, I've never even tried to write something, I'm not a professional writer and English is not my first language either. I just like to read/watch stories, especially Fantasy/Isekai Manhwa/Anime/Manga, I also like revenge plots in these stories as well as dark themes. please let me know how this looks so far, this is obviously just the beginning, and it will take few chapters before actual story starts. I have some plot points in my head and will figure it out how to eventually get to them. hopefully it won't be bad. regarding character names still trying to figure out name for MC, I wanted it to be casual english name yet not too cringe for MC.for now I like Alex. let me know the suggestions.