Where am I? What's happening? This feels strange, like I'm wandering through my own mind in a drunken haze. I can't sense anything around me… At least I'm conscious, but that doesn't help much if I have no idea what the hell is going on.
"Wake up, Jack."
A soft, familiar female voice gently calls to me.
Suddenly, I find myself standing in a meadow bursting with all kinds of flowers. I recognize roses, dandelions, even sunflowers; the view is breathtaking. Lost in awe of this spectacular landscape, I completely forget about the voice I'd been hearing.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
Hearing the voice again, I turn around. A woman is looking at me with a faint smile, her honey-colored eyes framed by glasses that match her dark, straight hair. It's my mother!
I hug her tightly; she welcomes me with open arms. Her warmth surrounds me, giving me a sense of security only a mother can provide.
"Mom!" I rest my head on her shoulder. "I'm so glad to see you. Where's Louis?"
In a calm, relaxed tone, she answers:
"You and your brother died in an accident."
"Dead?" I pull back from her. "But… you're here, right in front of me, Mom."
"I am not your mother. Everything you see is the product of what your soul desires. The meadow and the person you're speaking with are just examples of that."
"That's ridiculous! What you're saying is physically impossible."
"All things are possible for God."
God? Is there really an almighty God? Wasn't that just a concept invented by religions?
"I am not an invention; the omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent God is real."
Did… did it just respond to my thoughts?!
"Now I get it! This has to be a dream—that's why I can't breathe! I must be unconscious, and this is just my mind's creation. All I need to do is wake up!"
"Try as many times as you like; it will have no effect. The only thing you can do is change your surroundings and the person you wish to speak with."
Damn it, my only option is to see if what it says is true.
I picture a crystal-clear river, and immediately, the field of flowers is replaced. Shining and pure, the current flows toward God, and a faint whirlpool forms at His feet.
Then, I lean over the water to see my reflection; the only thing I can make out is a silhouette of light in human form.
"The eighth commandment: you shall not bear false witness or lie. Everything I've told you is true; you must stop doubting."
So that means…
Suddenly, anger takes hold of me.
"Why didn't you save us? If you're omnipotent, you could have done it!"
"The time I granted you had come to an end; you were not meant to keep living."
I can't believe God would say something so absurd!
"How can you think that way?! Isn't God supposed to love humanity?! Why don't you help those who need you?!"
"Calm yourself, my son. The being…" —I cut him off sharply:
"You're a terrible God!"
"Silence," he responds in a soft, tranquil voice that seems to resonate everywhere around us.
As those words settle, I find myself unable to speak any further.
"My son, have you not realized what's happening? If, for example, I were the God described in Christianity, things would be different."
He's right; if I don't calm down, things could get worse. So, if he's not the Christian God, then… who is he?
"On earth, I am the God in whom you place true faith; as for the heavens, well, I think that needs no explanation." As he speaks, he looks at me with a strangely gentle, almost compassionate smile. "Let us continue. Humanity is imperfect; it hates, curses, and kills on a whim. It disregards the commandments it claims to have faith in, and some don't believe in me at all, isn't that right? Still, not all humans are bad. Some love others more than themselves, they bless, and they pray for the good of others; they're what you would call Good Samaritans."
God begins to slowly walk in a circle around me.
"Now, I'll answer the questions you asked without a shred of delicacy."
» All humans have a lifespan; I am the one who decides when it ends.
» I love all men and women, regardless of their beliefs, sexual preferences, or sins.
» I give them the gift of life and free will; to harm, to help, to destroy, to create, to hate, or to love—each person chooses what to do.
» I provided them with guidance; whether to follow it or not is up to each individual. Before we continue, I'll allow you one final question.
I feel my voice returning. I can ask a question, but I need to choose it carefully. After a few minutes of thinking, I finally speak:
"God, forgive me for what I said. No matter how much time I take, I can't think of a single question, so… please, I beg you to grant me a wish instead."
Asking something like this of God feels ridiculous. Who am I to ask him for anything? And after being so rude, he'll surely turn me down…
"Go ahead, my son."
He accepted! I won't keep him waiting!
"Thank you for hearing me out. I'll keep it simple: please, let me see my brother again."
Hearing my words, he smiles.
"If you're willing to atone for the sins of your former life, I will grant your request."
"I'm willing to carry that burden and do whatever it takes to avoid making the same mistakes," I reply, filled with energy and unwavering determination.
Without deliberately changing his appearance, God transforms into a brilliant, majestic light that fills the entire space. Even though I can't see my mother anymore, I still feel a sense of safety. At the same time, having God before me fills me with a feeling of helplessness.
In a calm yet authoritative voice, he begins to speak:
"Listen, my son. You must confront your actions. You are guilty of two deadly sins:
» The first is Lust; your insatiable desire for new experiences led you to break hearts without a second thought, moving on to the next as soon as the pleasure faded. You have left a trail of pain behind you. I declare you guilty.
» The second is Gluttony; your excesses with alcohol have sown chaos in your family and hurt the lives of those around you. Your actions have harmed not only yourself but also those who care for you. I declare you guilty."
The words resonate with an unbreakable weight, like a judge's gavel delivering a verdict.
Everything God said is true—I only ever thought about myself… I never stopped to consider if what I was doing could hurt others. I was ignorant, and I didn't care about the consequences for anyone else…
"Eternal suffering is not the solution to atone for your sins; you will live with that perspective and be deprived of the pleasure of drink. Remember that life can end in an instant. You and he will have a second chance; live and forge a better path."
As he speaks those words, everything vanishes abruptly. He doesn't even give me a chance to thank him. I can't feel or see anything—this sensation is familiar… that's it! Now I remember… it's the same as when I first died.