"Your aunt said before, that you'd be staying at your old grandfather's empty house for the time being, right?"
Daniel was suddenly spoken to by someone in the hospital waiting room, a month after he woke up, to whom the boy reflexively answered, "She did say that… Yeah."
"But son, you're about to leave the hospital. Do you know where she might be now?"
"My aunt? Ah… Probably sleeping at her own place? She works from night until morning, though. That's why it wouldn't be strange at all if she couldn't come to pick me up."
"No, it's still wrong to leave you here alone. And she also never picked up her cell phone… Either she did it on purpose, or the number she gave to us was actually a fake one."
"It's okay… I'm sure she's just exhausted from work, so I don't really mind it. Besides, she hates the place I'm going to and I don't really want anyone to force her to do it." The boy sounded insistent.
And therefore, his talk with the nurse was then paused for some time while they appeared to be waiting for something… His doctor promised him a word to say before Daniel would finally be allowed to go home at the very last.
As today marks his release from the hospital, where he had been recuperating for two months or more since the first day he was brought there unconscious, in which he spent his days with nothing but pain and medication… Rehabilitation and lots of interrogation… Numerous visits from fraudulent politicians carrying cameras to convey their condolences and news that only discussed one single thing in day and night.
About a large fire that is believed to have been deliberately started by a group of people who have yet to be identified, he watched from an old television screen that was hanging on the wall of his small treatment room he was staying in.
As well as everyone's remarks, telling Daniel to consider being grateful for the miracle of surviving the stab wound that sliced his right lung, which almost touched his heart and any of his large blood vessels… He who made it through the operation with a probability of success below fifty percent, resulting in many only saw it as a sign, suggesting something powerful above them pushed Daniel himself to do nothing but to accept that he had not been allowed to die just yet.
While at the same time, hypocritically, no one dared to discuss the death of both the boy's father and mother and everyone else in the burned-out housing complex… At least not in front of Daniel, as if they hoped that he wouldn't feel sad by them not doing so.
But if only the truth must be told, even without their efforts, what is certain is that Daniel's gaze so far really has not shown just enough grief to cause people to be concerned about him and or his feelings.
Instead it only gave everyone the impression that the boy just happened to be someone who was resilient in the face of adversity.
~~~~~
"Just remember that your next psychologist's appointment is about two weeks from today's date. And regarding those social visits from the government, I believe they already explained everything to you yesterday, right? Aside from that, I don't think you have anything else to worry about, Daniel. My only advice is to seek help from those closest to you. Stay with them, or at least stay close to them. I'm completely positive it will really help you in many ways. And… Yeah, I think that's all. But just promise me that you'll be careful on your way. And don't do anything stupid, okay? Uh… Daniel? You hear?"
The doctor's eyes became increasingly worried when he relayed his word to the boy who was seated in a cab. As this was definitely the very first time ever he had seen Daniel not appear to be concerned enough, to even consider remembering anything the man had just said about some serious stuff he thought would actually help the poor teenage boy to move on and stay alive. But perhaps Daniel didn't even notice anyone was talking right next to him, as he appeared to be absentmindedly doing nothing other than cradling a huge bag full of clothes on his lap, until the wheels of the car then moved and took him away through many large and small roads; the people strolling on the sidewalk also got fewer and fewer.
And before he knew it, he was standing in front of a centuries-old, classic yet elegant wood-based mansion on the outskirts of town.
A house full of history… A legacy of the boy's great grandfather's little family tree that was extremely well cared for. Until Daniel was born and then everything changed, given something happened in the past that made everyone who ever lived inside of that building despise everything about it. Notwithstanding the fact that each of those people had actually died long ago, leaving Daniel and his aunt as the very last remaining members of their own family's bloodline.
But irrespective of all of that, the boy still stepped into the dusty place and still stood silently in the middle of the living room, as if he actually needed the time for himself to merely get used to nothing but the cold feeling, the silence and the loneliness… And only then did Daniel move to the kitchen where he placed his luggage on the marble counter. Slightly taken aback by how luxurious every part of the house actually was, that he even found inside one of the cabinets; a huge collection of old, expensive-looking bottles of booze and wine that were neatly lined up and still sealed… But he shrugged it all off as if it was nothing.
Instead Daniel chose to take one of the kitchen knives from the set, while carrying such a sharp thing he next proceeded to the main bathroom, after which he nonchalantly climbed into the tub and sat gently inside of it… The boy stayed there for quite some time.
Rubbing the ceramic wall right next to him which was evenly covered with dust. Forcing himself to clean his fingers on the fabric of his garments, murmuring a religious chant he had heard from somewhere he couldn't quite remember. And only after finishing the whole verse did he tighten his grasp on the kitchen knife, intending to slice the vein in his left hand… But suddenly the boy was interested in looking back at the stab wound on his own chest.
So he took off his clothes and stroked the white wrap with two of his fingers.
"What a fucking miracle indeed."
The lad then yanked off the bandage harshly.
Mocking himself and showing to no one, about how the stitch marks really had wonderfully ornamented the right side of his chest which somewhat reeked of betadine or perhaps something else, either alcohol if not another comparable disinfectant… But the most important thing is how the scent piques his interest in something.
A scent that just made him feel like he had missed out on the fun part of what he was currently doing inside the empty house just by himself… Wondering why he hadn't thought of that one simple idea much sooner than he should have, an even worse and more idiotic notion over the thing he had just planned to commit to himself via the knife in his own fingers.
The so-called self-terminating method, which clearly appeared to have something to do with what Daniel just brought to the table in the living room; four bottles of liquor, each of a different type and brand that he had previously found from one of the cabinets in the kitchen. Since with a grin on his face he realized, he had never in his life ever experienced such things as alcohol and being intoxicated… Therefore it's only reasonable if now he became full of nothing but ecstasy over a worldly opportunity the boy had just realized he actually had.
Coupled with the fact that there would be no one to stop him from doing any of it, all of which actually makes things even worse when for the second time Daniel suddenly thought of yet another bigger idea, that in his own narrow view would be considerably more intriguing than just a few bottles of alcohol on top of a plain boring table full of empty spaces in front of his face… Believing that it would still be far from enough to satisfy the boy's desires before ending his own life, thus with a fist on the palm, Daniel whispered to himself, "We don't need to be fit and healthy if we're just going to die, you dumbass!"
~~~~~
Following his own weird opinion, the boy then got ready with his jacket on for a walk to the nearest commercial area to his place, just so he can buy many packs of cigarettes and fishy snacks whose ingredients are not even guaranteed safe for consumption as a heavy meal he planned for it to be.
And in addition to that, from different stores he also bought calendars, pencils and drawing books, a small cheap smartphone, as well as its accessories that he might be able to use to connect such modern devices he has, down with the the large antique speakers he found installed in the old house he currently lives in… Yet all using the money he actually got from the government social funds and donations from some of those corrupt politicians, who visited him back while he was still lying in a hospital bed a few weeks ago.
But just as Daniel got home and was sitting in the living room, he realized that he really had forgotten to buy a lighter to burn his wrapped dried tobacco.
That's why after he turned the television on, the boy went to the kitchen. He flicked the stove to low heat and burned one of the cigarettes he bought, before then reclining again on the sofa as his pulse was hammering with excitement… For this would also be the very first time in his entire life he ever smoked a cigarette, something he personally had always thought was extremely dumb for anyone in their right mind to inhale. And what was even more exciting, was how it would come together with the many liquor bottles in his arms… And the result, as can be predicted, Daniel coughed even on his first puff of the cigarette… A cough that sounded quite painful to be honest, yet the boy laughed joyously.
"I mean, it's not that bad… Yeah, it's not that bad at all." He said to no one, desperately holding back his cough.
Obviously lying to himself, for his slightly suppressed smile didn't seem to be able to deceive the pain around his chest which slowly felt just a little bit too much to not be taken seriously by him, but again… Even from the moment he got into the cab, Daniel had convinced himself that such consequences would definitely happen, one way or another… By the knife or by the bridges and trucks and he would still do it no matter what. So instead of quitting, he persisted in smoking the cigarette, two or three more times before switching to the booze bottle in his other hand.
With lots of unhealthy snacks as the boy's dinner, liquor and cigarettes as his sleeping pill, the night eventually turned into daylight where he then did the same thing as how he ruined yesterday… Deliberately lowering the chances of his own body being able to recover and get back up as good as before.
Therefore this time, for the second phase, Daniel decided to spend as much of his money as possible, by enjoying even more stuff which he alone considered to be somewhat negative, that he had never felt in his life ever before.
With one of the most innocuous examples of that, being how he used his new cheap smartphone to order so many types of pizza, kebabs, burgers and many other kind of fast foods from various places, all at once, without even thinking about whether he would be able to taste each before any of it went stale... Because the refrigerator that he has been plugged in since yesterday doesn't appear to be working anymore, considering that it had been left alone for long enough to break down on its own.
And he didn't even use the calendar he had previously bought to at least mark the time he bought the food; instead, it was just lying on the top of the broken refrigerator with the month of November displayed at the very front. Only the twenty-sixth was covered with a skull drawing in meticulous detail as if he was enjoying the time spent scribbling it with a pencil just a day before and five days to the date he marked.
He then used a pair of large antique speakers in the living room to get really loud, to the point of vibrating the whole house with many of his favorite rock songs, only so that he could hear the sound clearly as he wandered aimlessly throughout the entire building. Just like for one occasion he was sitting on the balcony floor… A slice of pizza in one hand, cigarette in the other, mumbling the song he heard while wondering whether the lyrics actually meant anything.
But some other time he can also be found daydreaming in one of the bedroom closets upstairs. And later he'll be standing next to the washing machine, or hugging his knees in the corner of the basement. But most often, yet not always, relaxing in the bathtub… All while holding junk food, liquor and or cigarettes in each hand.
Until he got bored with all the bread and lettuce, Daniel suddenly developed some kind of strange desire to make 'home-made lunch' without any guidance or experience.
As he cooked pork that was all burnt on the outside yet raw on the inside, a broth that somehow manages to be so thick that it's more suitable to be called porridge… And also a pair of soggy, chewy sandwiches that he really thought needed only a little more salt to be worthy of being called a complete set of masterpieces.
All of which he enjoyed until there was nothing left on his plate, the boy didn't even seem to feel the slightest bit of nauseous from the poison he had made for himself to consume. In fact, his culinary activity continued three times a day for three days in a row, each generating something even worse than the last.
But it was only because on the fourth day when he tried to recreate yet another bigger mistake, his napkin accidentally caught fire and blackened a bit of the kitchen wall before he could put it out with a full bucket of water, that he decided to quit cooking for good.
However, the same bucket of water he previously used to put out the fire, now ended up pooling on the floor, instead creating a whole new problem for him to deal with… But there was no point in having a clean kitchen that he would never use again.
So that's why he then called it a day early by drinking a few glasses of alcohol while resting on the sofa, which now only made him feel a little bit lonely out of nowhere.
And that's exactly when Daniel thought of the very last idea, the worst of all and the most pathetic of all, which would be the final phase before everything had to come to an end in his such a brief existence, in a place for him was the pit of hell and nowhere else.
~~~~~