"True friends are mirrors to our souls, reflecting our strengths, our flaws, and the silent truths we dare not speak.
They see beyond our masks, knowing us in ways we scarcely know ourselves, holding our secrets with a gentle, unwavering grace."
— excerpt from "Heart Reflections"
Dr. Lyrah Jo Ellison
Life Coach, Therapist
As the party wound down and guests began to leave, Riven slipped into the kitchen and activated the synthesizer. Queueing up a cup of coffee and an En-R-Gize pill to brace himself for the long night ahead, he noticed the rations section of the interface showed an increase tenfold from that morning. Not knowing who else to ask about the change, Riven snapped a quick picture of the interface and sent it to Orion with the caption: *Is this normal? We didn't have near this many ration points this morning.*
*Yes. Your family will likely never want for anything while you're an officer as the SCF doesn't want you distracted while you're away. I'll bet you my underwear that you'll be reassigned to a nicer apartment in the upper-ring in a few days.* Came Orion's reply a few moments later. Riven shook his head, struggling not to feel overwhelmed by the changes. He knew his parents would never believe he wasn't footing the bill for all of this.
As Riven turned around, sipping his coffee, Quinn was leaning against the doorway, watching him.
"Oh, hey Quinn. How long have you been there?"
"Long enough, what are you up to?" There was an unfamiliar edge in Quinn's voice, which reminded him of his earlier concerns about his change in rank.
"I was asking Orion a question about something, nothing important. Is everything okay?"
Quinn's eyebrow raised, "Who is Orion?"
"He is the Chief Mate of the Aurora, we met today in spectacularly disastrous fashion. He is the one who invited me out tonight, and who we'll be meeting at Elle's Lounge," Riven said, anticipation racing through him.
"And you're on a first-name basis already?"
"Well, he insisted, since we weren't on-duty," Riven's defenses flared. "Why the interrogation?"
"You've been distracted tonight, I was worried about you."
Touched by the concern, Riven finished his coffee and moved closer. "I've been considering whether going out with him tonight is the smartest thing."
Quinn shrugged and said, "He's your commanding officer. Most likely, he wants to get the measure of you and make you feel welcome. Your situation is pretty rare, so he may just want to create a bond before you join the ship in person. Going out with your shipmates has been standard for centuries."
"It's just… There's something about him. Something I can't pinpoint."
After a moment, Riven blurted, "His eyes, I couldn't stop looking at his eyes."
Quinn raised an eyebrow again and finished the last of the wine in their glass before setting it in the sink. Quietly, they said, "What about Elijah?"
Stunned, Riven blinked. He'd forgotten all about Elijah after the events of the day and his fascination with Orion. "Oh… Elijah."
Quinn whirled toward Riven, anger clearly written on their face. "Yeah, Elijah. I know you've been checked out of that relationship for years, but you owe it to him to be honest. I can't honestly understand why you haven't broken it off, for good, in two years. You're better than this, Riven."
Guilt crushed Riven's heart. "The right time never—"
"Bullshit. You've seen him plenty of times."
This was so unlike Quinn, Riven decided to change the subject. "What is with you, Q?"
There was silence for a moment, the only sound being Quinn's heavy breathing. As it slowed, they said, "I'm worried about us. You're an officer now, I don't have a ship, I don't know when I'll see you again after this week. And you're avoiding the issue." The heat was gone from them, but they were perceptive enough to know Riven was trying to avoid further discussion of the topic. "I understand if you've moved on, but Elijah hasn't, and he deserves to know you don't want to be with him anymore."
At that moment, Riven's mom poked her head through the door. "Riven, honey, everyone has left and I'm off to bed. Early day for me tomorrow. Good night sweetie!"
"Good night, Ma," Riven replied, watching her retreat before he turned back to Quinn. "We'll continue this later, Q. We have to get ready. Are you bringing Wayne?"
"Yes, of course. Riven, talk to him — tonight, before we go out."
Riven nodded and gave their best friend in the whole cosmos a tight hug. "I will." Anger and defensiveness were now replaced with apprehension.
Riven showered quickly and changed into his nicest clothes, which consisted of the only pair of slacks he owned, sleek black shoes, and a crisp white button-up shirt. He'd looked into Elle's Lounge after receiving the information from Orion, and it was definitely a classier establishment than his usual haunts with Quinn. With hair buzzed short, that required no attention whatsoever. He was considering putting in some earrings when a sultry voice sounded from the bathroom door.
"My, my, aren't we all dressed up to undress."
Riven's stomach dropped, and he froze. He'd been planning to stop by Elijah's apartment on his way to Elle's Lounge to fulfill his promise, but it seemed the universe had other plans. Oh, stars…
"Eli," Riven said, turning to face him. He looked splendid as ever, wearing a well tailored suit made out of a textured cream colored fabric. His top button was undone, lending an air of casualness to his look, and he was wearing the silver chain Riven had given him for his birthday a year ago.
Elijah folded his arms and leaned against the door with a smirk. "So are we skipping the pleasantries or are we just doing it now?"
This was all wrong. They hadn't seen each other in two weeks as Riven prepared for The Trials, and they had parted in very negative terms, but Riven couldn't even remember why; they fought so often. Now he wanted sex?
"I don't think… No, Elijah, that wouldn't be appropriate."
"Appropriate? Appropriate, Riven?" His nostrils flared. "We've been together for three years, when is it ever going to be appropriate?"
Guilt. Anger. Sadness. Resolve.
"We can't do this, Eli. We aren't good together, you and I. Surely you can see that?"
"Good togeth— Three years, Riven! I've given you three years!" The unsaid accusation hang in the air as Elijah's voice echoed through the apartment.
"I know, Eli, I—"
"Don't. Don't call me that; not now, not ever again."
It wasn't supposed to be like this… But the damage was done, the hard part over.
Despair. Guilt.
"I'm sorry Elijah. It's over, you should go."
Elijah stood motionless except for his hands, which were balled into fists and trembling. "But, I love—"
"No, Elijah. No."
Riven's mom appeared next to Elijah at that, and she lightly rested her hand on his arm. "Honey, you should go."
"Three…fucking…years, Riven." Was all he said as he turned away and left the apartment.
Guilt.
Riven sat on the toilet, rubbing his temples. "It's always been complicated with us, you know?" his voice low but he knew his mom could hear. "We stuck it out for so long because it was familiar, he helped me with so much. But these two years at the Academy... It's been rough. We fight, make up, and then it repeats. I just haven't felt the way about him that he wanted, that I should have. I'll always care for him, that will never change. But I'm not in love with him."
She nodded, giving him a sad, understanding smile.
"It wasn't supposed to be like that, mom, I swear." Tears spilled over. "It was supposed to be better. No fighting, just me confessing, but he just showed up out of nowhere and… and…"
Her arms were around him then, pulling him back together. "It's okay sweetie. Things don't always work out the way we want, or intend. It's better you told him now than in a message from halfway across the galaxy."
He could only nod and give her a squeeze.
Finally, he cleared his throat and wiped his face. "I should finish getting ready. I'm supposed to be happy and celebrating tonight."
"Yes, don't let this ruin your night. Go, have a good time. We'll talk more later. I love you so much."
"I love you too, Ma," he replied, a sense of relief creeping through him, relaxing his tense muscles. He gave her one last squeeze before she left.
As he finished double-checking his outfit in the mirror, the weight on his shoulders eased, and a confidence that the night was going to be wonderful replaced it.