Why don't you care? I gave you all of me
My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears
Why don't you care, why don't you care?
I was there, I was there, when no one was
Now you're gone and I'm here
-Camila Cabello
[Warning : This chapter contain depiction of sexual assaults that may be upsetting for readers. Reader discription is advised]
THIRD PERSON
It's hurting, knowing he cheated on her, then why is her heart hurting? He could have found a better way in the past, but he didn't. He chosed to... he chosed to...
She was at a loss for words, and now she held grudges, but against whom? The man who tried to protect her like a father? Or the boy who behaved like her brother?
She sobbed softly in his arms. She should pull away from him, but her body refused. The more she fought with herself, the more her feelings won. They couldn't go back to the past. They... they didn't belong together.
Athalia stood up, wiping her tears. Her hair was a mess. She couldn't let herself flow with emotions. Asher might be hurt, but everything between them was over. It was no longer him. They no longer had their child, their love. The thread of affection they were tied by was already broken.
A subtle dizziness crept over her, the world around her blurred. Her heartbeat echoed in her ears, a frantic sound racing against time. Each breath felt shallow, as if the air itself had grown heavy. The ground seemed to sway beneath her feet, reality slipped away and was replaced by an eerie stillness.
The world spun on, and she heard Asher's voice calling out for her. And then, with a final gasp, her body succumbed to unconsciousness as she surrendered to darkness.
Autophobia, a phobia that is rarely discussed among people. It is the fear of being abandoned, causing everyday anxiety.
It haunts those who crave attention, creating an ocean of melancholy where the water you drown in never feels so bad. You kept swimming, swimming, and swimming in the gloominess, and then you found yourself in a blank space.
Alone and Alamort, your body felt the pain but couldn't clarify where exactly it was coming from. Blind? You could see everything yet nothing can be visible in your sight. A dark and never-ending room of solitary, you crawl, you cry you beg to be out of there.
But no one came to save you. You ran to the mere light coming from a hundred miles away but got pulled down by your own shadows.
"Struggling for freedom, love?" a voice echoed, and Athalia looked around to find its source. Sweat dripping from her head, her face whitened when she saw herself.
Wrapped in a plain white gown with blood stains, half-burnt skin, eyes so red and filled with vengeance. Alina was a monster, but what had she done to become one? Her figure moved closer and closer, every detail and unhealed scar was perfectly visible, her long black hairs falling down. She bent down on her knees to meet Athalia.
"Where am I?" was the first thing Athalia asked, looking at her. A smile crept on Alina's lips as she trailed down her black long nails on Athalia's soft cheeks. "You are lost" whispered Alina, wiping her tear.
Alina lifted her chin and stared right inside her soul. "What are you running from, love?" she asked with a smile. Athalia gulped, trying to find the answer from inside her head. "I don't want to end up in the same fate," she replied, and Alina started laughing.
"Fate?" laughed Alina. "You can't run from fate. It always find its way."
"Why? Why do you have to do this to me?" screamed Athalia, her voice trembling with despair, as if her heart might burst from the agony.
"Because you are safe here," said Alina, grabbing her face gently. "I'm chained up alone here," struggled Athalia, trying to free herself from the invisible force holding her back.
Alina's eyes turned completely black as she moved her face closer to Athalia's. "It's scary," she whispered, black tears starting to drip down her cheeks.
"What?" asked Athalia, her voice barely a whisper.
"The world."
As the bare source of light burst forth, its radiance scattered in all directions, engulfing the surroundings in a luminous embrace. The once dim space was instantly transformed.
'If the darkness doesn't allow you to see anything, then the light can too, blind you'
A couple of coughs escaped from Athalia's mouth as she admired the black room transformed into a vibrant, lively place all of a sudden. Green and moist grass, trees covered with fresh flowers, and the wind blowing smoothly.
"What is this place?" asked Athalia of the silent Alina standing beside her.
"The garden of your mirage," she answered, and began to walk. They both stopped upon hearing the faint sound of water. There, they saw a wooden cradle covered with soft white linen cloths, and a lady decorating it with flowers.
Athalia looked up at Alina, her expression uncertain. "It's you," replied Alina, looking at the lady who was wearing a plain pink dress and smiling brightly as she swung the cradle.
Tanned skin, brown-honey eyes-it was indeed Athalia. She took her steps carefully, walking towards them and sat down, not bothering about anything happening around her. Her eyes traveled to the little life inside the cradle, with rose cheeks and blue eyes.
"It's Ca.. It's Cade's," she whispered softly to herself, tears welling up in her eyes as the baby giggled after watching her. Athalia cautiously tried to lift the baby girl up, but with her touch, the little happiness started slipping from her hand like sand.
Her heart started beating crazily. "What's happening?" She screamed, realizing the baby morphed into dirt. The illusion was making her go bonkers. "What did you do?" Athalia heard herself, there was no longer any smile on her face, the flesh started peeling off, leaving only her skeleton.
Athalia held her head because of the ache. "No.. stay," she screamed like a maniac. Her world began to drift again, with black rain and explosions. She crawled to Alina and grabbed the hem of her gown, "Stop this," she shouted again and again.
Multiple shadows of people started moving past her, as if they were all going to the same place. "I can't, It's not in my control," muttered Alina, holding her as more sobs left her mouth.
"Stop... stop... this all," Athalia yelled again. She peeked up from Alina's arms. "What are they?" she questioned, watching the surroundings. It was like they were all following someone's command.
"Where are they going to?" Athalia asked again.
"Death," replied Alina.
"They are all lost like you, walking on an asphalt road. Tripping, falling on each other, marching towards death because they don't know what they actually desire. They don't know for what or whom they are living for. We are all trapped in the cycle, unable to escape from the Curse of Fate.
None of them know why they are running towards the cold and frustrating world."
Blood started dripping from the sky, and Athalia began to shiver. Alina covered Athalia's both eyes with her hand.
"You must escape before it get too late."
A loud gasp, and Athalia found herself covered in sheets, sweat forming on her forehead as she tried to sit up. Her breath was heavy, as if she had just run a marathon, and her head hit Cade's hard chest as she moved.
"You're finally awake," whispered Cade, helping Athalia up. Her head was throbbing painfully. Athalia noticed Cade's furrowed eyebrows and then saw the bowl filled with ice water and a wet cloth. How long had she been unconscious?
He had been here all this time, with her? "Atha-" Before she could hear what Cade wanted to say, a strong wave of nausea hit her, and her mouth filled with salty liquid. Her stomach twisted in knots as she rushed towards the washroom.
"I swear, if Asher did something to her, he is dead by the night," Athalia heard Nathan say while she threw up, clutching the sink.
"Nathan, leave now. It's not the time," Cade growled, caressing her back and offering her a glass of water. "How long was I like that?" she asked, taking his support to stand.
"Eight hours," he replied, holding her close. "The doctor already paid a visit, and..." He pulled out a pregnancy test from behind him. "She said everything is fine, and there's a chance we might be pregnant. But let's just be sure."
He handed it to her, but Athalia was consumed by sorrow. Was it a déjà vu? A dream? Or a nightmare? Whatever it was, it had swept her off her feet, and now this.
"Take your time," Cade kissed the top of her head and left, closing the bathroom door behind him. Athalia's hands quivered as she tore open the wrapper.
Her throat went dry, and she covered her mouth with her hand as tears streamed down her face. Unable to stand, she slowly sank to the floor, staring at the positive test in disbelief.
Her thoughts swung back and forth between Alina and this... child. She felt the urge to escape, but from what?
"Lia?" Cade knocked on the door, hearing her cry. 'He wanted a child, right? Then why is my chest burning?' she questioned herself, getting up and wiping her cheeks she opened the door. She bit her lower lip, clutching the end of her dress, and quietly laid her head on his chest.
"Athalia, is it...?" Before Cade could complete his sentence, she placed his hand on her belly and gave the slightest nods, tears filling her eyes. This was a miracle.
"I can't believe it... Is it true? Am I...?" She nodded at each of his unfinished sentences, and he swung her in the air, their giggles filling the room. It wasn't a dream or a nightmare; she was living in her reality.
He cupped her face with his big hands and insisted, "Lia, damn! I'm in love."