I lived like that for two whole years.
Alone.
I've never really been good at socializing and making friends, I mean, I've tried but it seems people tend to stay away from me. And then they ask why I'm always rotting away in my room.
For two years, my days would go something like this:
- Wake up
- Go to my university lecture
- Go back to my room
- Study alone, cry alone, eat alone, sleep alone.
I wasn't fond of it at all. My life was, to put it simply, pitiful.
I was still so young. I didn't deserve a life like that, I didn't deserve to feel pain like that every day.
Why? Why out of the thousands of people in this university? Why out of the billions of people in this World was I the one destined to be alone for no reason other than being known as a loser?
Well, that was until a few months ago.
I was heading back to my room after class, like every other day, but when I opened the door to my room, I was met with a surprise. A girl was sitting in my room and a pretty one at that.
I had no idea who she was and even more why the hell she was in my room.
She greeted me and I asked her who she was and why she was in my room.
She told me that she felt we had some sort of connection. She said she was alone too like me and had been watching me for the past few days, feeling as though we could bond.
It was kind of weird but I went with her story and started talking to her.
Now normally in a situation like this, I would find it near impossible to make conversation, but for some reason, it was easy with her.
KNOCK!
There was a knock on my door and that knock soon turned to a bang.
It was the guy who lived to the right of my dorm, I never knew his name and didn't want to know either.
The thing about this guy is that he always treated me like crap. He called me names, made fun of me, even made me do stuff for him, the type of high school bully you see in movies kind of guy, so the less I knew of him, and the more I disassociated myself from him, the better I felt, in a sort of way it made me feel superior in my head.
He was drunk.
He barged into me and went inside the room, the girl quickly ran to the toilet.
He scavenged my room for food so I told him to get out.
This angered him so he started beating me until I couldn't walk, and then he just left, like everything was normal again.
The girl came out and asked me if I was okay, she was also frustrated at me for not fighting back.
She told me this is exactly why people think we are losers because we don't stick up for ourselves. If this world treats us like crap, we have to treat this world like crap.
I asked her for her name.
"Alex." She replied, the same name as mine so easy enough to remember.
We hung out a lot after that, my life felt better than ever because I didn't feel that ache of loneliness in my heart any longer.
Soon after she moved in with me and we became even closer.
-----
One day we went out for a late night walk, nothing unusual.
The night was dark, with no stars in the sky and the moon hidden by the clouds.
Me and Alex were discussing life and gossiping about other people, something I quite enjoyed.
But unfortunately, soon we saw my neighbor out with his friends. Of course, he was drunk again.
Me and him made direct eye contact and he started approaching me.
He punched me square in my jaw for no reason I tried to get up but failed, the others around him laughed hysterically watching my pain.
He crouched down towards me and grabbed me by my collar.
"Pathetic!" He shouted at me.
I scanned the area looking for Alex but she was nowhere in sight. She must have run off. Good. I didn't want her to see me like this.
But then I heard the sound of wind breaking.
SPLASH!
A pool of blood had formed on me.
The guy now had a knife in his neck, and he was gargling on his own blood.
His eyes rolled back, slowly his soul started leaving him, until Alex throbbed the knife out of his neck
His friends are in the background watching in terror. Frozen and confused at the same time too. The once corrupted but joyful laughter had died with their friend.
Alex charged towards them.
One girl's skull split open until her brains were visible. The knife kept on smashing against her brains until mashed into a hellish sight.
Next was the boy who had started to scream in agony, yet was unable to move his legs. The knife repeatedly penetrated his chest, but the mercy of a quick death wasn't given. No. He felt all of it. Every single bit of pain. He started crawling with the little bit of life he had in him. But it was no use. The final stab ended it all. His face fell into the puddle of blood underneath after one final painful gasp.
The final girl started running and crying for help after witnessing the massacre of her friends. Her efforts useless, she was wrestled to the ground by Alex, just one stab through the back of her head to end it.
I was paralyzed by fear, all I could do was watch her unleash her wrath on my knees after taking a beating from what was now a dead person.
Just then she grabbed my hand and started running to my dorm.
People had started to come out of their dorms from all the noise to have a look at what was going on.
STAB!
She just kept on killing. Every person she saw she would condemn to the same fate.
I knew her, this wasn't like her, that couldn't be her, but I saw her face. It was her face.
Eventually, about a dozen more people were killed, and mutilated. She came to a stop and the police were called.
The sirens approached getting louder and louder until the police cars were visible.
They came out of the car and started approaching me with a look of terror.
They pinned me to the ground and cuffed my hands.
Alex had vanished again, vanished into thin air. I was getting arrested for something I didn't do.
I asked them to find her. Go look for her. I gave them her description, but later I was informed that no girl by the name of Alex goes to this university, in fact, the only person named Alex was me.
They said the knife they found was also mine- it had my fingerprints on it.
After that, they took me to an insane asylum, where I still spend my days.
They call me crazy, they say it was all in my head. But I know I'm not crazy, I know it was real.
All that time I spent with her. It can't be fake. Heck, she comes to visit me as well, I try and report her but somehow she vanishes. And after they take me back to my room, the room I spend alone.
I'm not schizophrenic, I know I'm not, I can't be.
But the more I think about that day, the more I feel those people deserved to die.
They made my life hell, so they deserved to be sent to hell.
I'm alone again now, but at least I have some people in my room to talk to- the doctors say there's no one I share a room with though.
They're trying to mess with me... I know it, they're trying to make me feel all alone again.