Niklaus adjusted the straps on his satchel, still buzzing from the chaos he'd left behind with the merchants and their ill-fated tent. The morning sun hung low, casting golden rays through the trees, but his thoughts flitted between last night's goat—the one with the mysterious collar—and the absurdity of his own heroic blunder. His fingers tapped rhythmically against the hilt of Cindershard as he walked, his mind darting from one thought to another like a sparrow avoiding capture.
"You know," Cindershard mused, "if you keep fidgeting like that, someone might mistake you for a malfunctioning automaton."
Niklaus snorted. "I'd be a very charming automaton, thank you." He let out a breath, trying to steady his jittery excitement, though his foot still tapped involuntarily against the dirt path. "But really, what if someone's missing that goat? I mean, it had a collar, right? Maybe it's a prized pet or… I don't know, the village mascot?"
"Ah yes," Cindershard replied dryly, ''The Tale of Niklaus and the Missing Goat.' That'll certainly go down in the annals of history next to 'The Great Tent Catastrophe.'"
Niklaus rolled his eyes but couldn't suppress a grin. "Hey, I'm versatile. Saving goats, wrecking tents, defeating bandits… it's all part of the hero's journey, right?"
Just then, a rustling from the underbrush snapped his attention back to the present. Two figures emerged from the dense thicket, their worn leather armor speaking of many dark deeds. The daggers they brandished glinted ominously in the dappled sunlight, eager for mischief.
Niklaus felt his heart drum against his ribs, but he squared his shoulders, unwilling to let fear dictate his next move.
"Hold it right there, traveler!" one of the bandits barked, his voice slithering through the air like a serpent ready to strike. "Hand over your valuables, and we'll let you pass unscathed."
Niklaus blinked, then tilted his head, feigning deep thought. "Valuables? Hm. I've got some old cheese, a slightly bruised ego, and a talking sword. Any takers?"
"Niklaus," Cindershard whispered, "you're really not helping."
The bandits exchanged confused glances, momentarily thrown off by his unexpected humor.
Niklaus seized the opportunity. "I'll tell you what," he said, his amber eyes gleaming with mischief. "Let's make this interesting. If I can best you in a spar, you let me pass freely. If I lose… well, you can have my cheese."
The first bandit snorted, amused despite himself. "A wager? You think you can outfight us for sport?"
"Why not?" Niklaus grinned, bouncing lightly on his toes. The thrill of the challenge chased away any lingering dread. "Or… if you're not up for a fight, how about a dance-off?"
The second bandit let out a bark of laughter. "A dance-off? Are you mad?"
"Only on Tuesdays," Niklaus quipped, his fingers tightening on Cindershard's hilt. But just as he was about to lunge, Cindershard's voice hissed in his ears, playful and sharp.
"Why don't we play with them instead? A little trickery could be far more fun than a straightforward fight."
Niklaus paused, a mischievous glint flickering in his eyes. "You know what? I like the way you think."
An idea sparked in his mind—the kind of idea that would make Jonathan Kaine shake his head in exasperation. He threw his voice, perfectly mimicking the second bandit's gruff tone. "Hey! I think that was your mother calling you!"
The first bandit froze and turned to his buddy, eyes narrowing. "What did you just say, Gary?"
Gary blinked, his face contorting in bewilderment. "What? Huh? I didn't say anything! Are you hearing voices now?" His eyes darted nervously around the clearing, as if expecting the trees themselves to accuse him next.
But Niklaus wasn't done yet.
Niklaus cupped his hands around his mouth, disguising his voice with a perfect mimic of the second bandit's gruff tone. "Hey, your boots are untied, you clumsy oaf!" The words cut through the clearing like a whip, and the first bandit immediately glanced down at his very much tied boots, then back at his companion with a scowl.
"What are you playing at, Gary? Trying to trip me up so you can nab the loot yourself?"
Gary's eyes widened in confusion. "I didn't say anything! Maybe it's a ghost or something!"
But Niklaus wasn't finished. He adjusted his stance, hiding a grin as he called out again in Gary's voice, "And your breath smells like a swamp rat's backside!"
The first bandit's face darkened to an alarming shade of crimson. "That's it, Gary! I've had enough of your mouth!"
Before Gary could protest, the two bandits erupted into a flurry of wild accusations and clumsy punches, giving Niklaus exactly the distraction he needed.
The first bandit's face turned a dangerous shade of red. He jabbed a finger at Gary, his voice trembling with fury. "You've crossed the line, you backstabbing weasel! I thought we were a team!"
"Me? I didn't say that—he did!" Gary spluttered, but the damage was done.
Niklaus leaned against a nearby tree, his foot tapping an erratic rhythm against the bark while his fingers drummed a chaotic beat on his crossed arms. His grin stretched wide, struggling to contain the laughter fizzing in his chest like an over-shaken bottle. "Really, lads? Scrapping over little old me? I mean, I'm flattered—but am I really worth all that? You might want to rethink your life choices… or at least diversify your hobbies. Maybe take up knitting? Or, I don't know, professional thumb wrestling?"
Eventually, they collapsed in a heap, panting and bruised, their tangled limbs flailing as they tried to push each other off like squabbling toddlers. Niklaus leaned casually against the nearest tree, arms crossed, watching with wide-eyed amusement as the two bandits descended into what could only be described as the most uncoordinated brawl he'd ever seen. Wild punches missed by miles, and at one point, one of them accidentally headbutted his own knee in the chaos. "You two sure you're not auditioning for a comedy troupe?" Niklaus muttered under his breath, his fingers drumming against Cindershard's hilt as his foot tapped an erratic beat in time with their graceless scuffle.
Niklaus watched with growing concern as the chaotic brawl escalated. The wild punches became more frenzied, and for a moment, he feared they might actually succeed in seriously injuring each other. With a dramatic sigh and an exaggerated roll of his eyes, he pushed off the tree and strode towards the tangled mess of bandits.
"Alright, alright, break it up, you two!" he called out, his voice laced with playful exasperation. "If anyone's going to knock you senseless, it's going to be me."
The bandits barely had time to react before Niklaus was in motion. His body flowed with surprising ease, each movement fluid and precise. He ducked under a clumsy punch, sidestepped a wild kick, and with a swift flick of Cindershard's flat side, sent one bandit sprawling into the dirt. The other lunged at him, but Niklaus twisted gracefully, delivering a light tap to the back of the man's head that sent him tumbling forward with a startled yelp.
Niklaus blinked, momentarily surprised by how effortlessly it all had unfolded. A slow grin spread across his face, the thrill of the unexpected victory bubbling up inside him. "Huh," he muttered to Cindershard, "I think I could get used to this."
"I always knew you had it in you," Cindershard replied, smug amusement coloring his tone.
Niklaus turned to the groaning bandits, now lying in a dazed heap. He dusted off his hands with a flourish. "Gentlemen," he said, his voice light and teasing, "I'll be on my way now. Try not to kill each other over me next time you see me."
As he walked away, Cindershard's voice hummed with amusement. "You do have a knack for turning enemies into fools."
Niklaus grinned. "Better to make them laugh at each other than come after me with pointy things."
The road ahead felt lighter, the weight of the encounter melting into the rhythm of his steps. But as the sun dipped lower, casting long shadows across the path, the shimmering outline of Talinor loomed in the distance—a reminder that not all challenges could be solved with wit and a well-timed joke.
"Ready for the next adventure?" Cindershard asked, his voice tinged with excitement.
Niklaus's heart thudded in response. "Always."
And with that, they continued down the winding path, ready to face whatever chaos lay ahead.