Chereads / Rem The Egoist / Chapter 2 - Chap:(2) How to stop being pathetic

Chapter 2 - Chap:(2) How to stop being pathetic

I slowly pick out the tiny glass shards from my hand, but there's no pain.

 

It's like my whole body has gone numb. As I bandage my arms, my mind feels completely clear. For the first time in a long while, I feel alive.

 

Strength. I need to become stronger, I think to myself.

 

I open the drawer and pull out a paper. It's an application for Hell's Training.

 

Hell's Training. The name says it all—it's designed for those who've already become warriors, but for some reason, students can apply too.

 

Not that many do. It's not just because it's hard, but because it's pointless. What we can learn there, we're already learning here, slowly and with much more safety.

 

But there's one thing: Hell's Training gives us experience. If I go there, I'll be able to fight beasts from the Beast Zone.

 

And experience means power. I'll grow stronger faster. I need to go. I tell myself as I grab the application and head out of the room.

 

 

The hall is empty as I walk through, each step echoing in the silence. Soon, I reach Teacher Adam's office.

 

I knock first, waiting for his approval to enter.

 

"Yes, come in," I hear Sir Adam's tired Voice from the other side.

 

I open the door and step inside. The desk in front of me is covered in papers, stacks of them scattered all over.

 

Sir Adam sits behind the clutter, eyes heavy with exhaustion, dark circles etched beneath them.

 

"Rem?" He glances up. "Aren't your training classes going on? What are you doing here?"

 

I don't say anything. I simply walk forward and place the application on his desk.

 

As soon as he sees the application he stares at me with wide eyes.

 

"Rem, what is this?"

 

He says as he slams his hand on the paper.

 

"Application for hell's training", I say in a cold voice which sends a shiver down Sir Adam's spine.

 

Sir Adam looks at me for a moment, he notices something weird about me.

 

"Sit down Rem," he says calmly while looking at me.

 

I pull out the chair and sit.

 

"I am pretty sure you know hell training is like a dead sentence to you".

 

"You barely can swing a sword and you want to go there?"

 

Adam says to rem.

 

"Sir, I am pretty sure I don't need your approval. By law I can go there my skill doesn't matter. I just came here to you because I have to inform you first".

 

Adam stares at me, shock written all over his face.

 

This isn't the Rem he knows.

 

Rem had always been quiet, kind, and respectful, despite his lack of strength. The teachers liked him. His warmth was something rare in a place like this. But now, that warmth was gone, replaced by something cold and distant. It was like I was possessed.

 

"Rem, did something happen? Did Brian bully you again?" Adam asks, his voice filled with genuine concern.

 

His eyes fall on my bandaged right hand. "Did he beat you up again?"

 

I glance at my hand, the memory of pulling out those glass shards still fresh in my mind. "Oh no, of course not," I reply, my voice flat, empty of any emotion. "I just hurt myself by mistake."

 

I stand up, not wanting to prolong this conversation any further. I don't need his concern. It feels unnecessary—pointless.

 

"I hope you send the application soon," I say as I turn to leave, my back already facing him before he can respond.

 

Sir Adam calls after me, but I shut the door behind me before he can say another word. The echo of its slamming reverberates in the room.

 

"What the hell happened?" Adam mutters to himself, staring at the closed door, still stunned by the change in me.

 

After a moment of hesitation, Adam sits back down, his mind racing. He rubs his temples before reaching for a large crystal sphere on his desk. His fingers hover over it for a moment as if contemplating whether this is the right move. But with a deep sigh, he taps it several times. The sphere glows faintly and emits a sharp sound, followed by the grumbling voice of an old woman.

 

"What the fuck do you want? I'm on vacation," she snaps. "Didn't I tell you lot not to disturb me?"

 

Adam straightens up, his voice immediately adopting a tone of respect. "Miss Old, sorry for disturbing you, but I need your help."

 

There's silence on the other end before she barks back, "Help with what? I swear if this is another bureaucratic nonsense—"

 

"It's about a student," Adam interjects, his voice urgent. "He applied for hell training."

 

There's a pause, and then a dismissive snort. "So? What do you want me to do? Let the bastard die if he's stupid enough to sign up."

 

Adam flinches, but he holds firm. "It's Reynold's second son—Rem."

 

The other end of the line goes silent, the name clearly piquing her interest.

 

"The disgrace of the Wraith family?" she finally says, her tone now more curious. "What makes you think I care about him?"

 

Adam shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "You were interested in him once, weren't you?"

 

Another pause. Longer this time.

 

"Hmph," she grumbles. "Send him to me by tomorrow."

 

The sphere dims, and the connection cuts off. Adam leans back in his chair, the weight of what just transpired pressing down on him. He had called Miss Old because he knew she was the only one who could handle someone like Rem right now. But now, even he wasn't sure if involving her was the right decision.

 

As I head toward the training field, the familiar noise of clashing weapons and loud commands fills the air. Before I can even step inside, a voice calls out, sharp and commanding.

 

"REM!"

 

I turn to see Nila Dimitri, our instructor—and Noelle's older sister—storming toward me. Her expression is as stern as ever.

 

"Why are you so late?" she snaps, arms crossed tightly. "You of all people should be here early. A weak warrior like you needs more training, not less!"

 

I know she means well. She's always treated me like a little brother, scolding me because she cares.

 

But right now?

 

She's just...irritating.

 

I suppress the thought before it can show on my face. "Sorry, ma'am," I say, lifting my bandaged hand, "I can't train today. I injured myself."

 

Her eyes immediately shift to my hand, her tough demeanor faltering as concern flickers in her expression. "How did you hurt yourself?" she asks, voice softer now.

 

I shrug, forcing a smile, though it feels more like a hollow reflex than anything real. It's empty, lacking any warmth like I'm mimicking an emotion I no longer understand. "Oh, it's nothing serious. Just a little accident."

 

She watches me for a second like she's searching for something, her gaze lingering. I can tell she's sensing that something's off.

 

But I don't let it show. I just stand there, waiting for her to say something.

 

Nila hesitates, then nods slowly, the worry in her eyes deepening. She doesn't push further, but the tension between us lingers.

 

Ok, you go rest. Tell me if the kids are picking on you, Nila says as she walks away.

 

I continue across the training grounds until I spot Luna. As soon as she sees me and notices the bandage on my arm, she rushes over, gently taking hold of my right hand.

 

"Who did this?" she asks, frustration clear in her voice. "Was it Brian again? I swear, I'll skin that barbarian bastard alive."

 

"Oh no, you've got it wrong," I reply, my voice flat and emotionless. "I just hurt myself by mistake."

 

Her brow furrows as she looks at me, still concerned. "Anyway," I continue, "do you have a moment? I wanted to talk to you." I force a smile, but it's empty.

 

"Uh… sure," Luna says, her discomfort evident. "What's up?"

 

"Nothing much. I'm just heading home for a bit, so you won't see me for a while," I say casually.

 

"Home?" Luna repeats, confusion crossing her face. "Did something happen? You're not exactly on the best terms with your family."

 

Of course, I'm not going back to that place. I say to myself. She doesn't need to know the truth—it'd just make things more annoying than they already are.

 

"No, nothing happened," I lie, keeping my forced smile intact. "I'm just going for personal reasons."

 

"Are you sure? Nothing's wrong?" Luna's voice softens, worry creeping in.

 

"Yeah, yeah, nothing's wrong," I say as I pull my arm away. "You should go back—your friends are waiting."

 

Luna hesitates for a moment but glances over at her group of friends. "Okay… you take care and rest up. We'll talk later today," she says, still sounding concerned as she walks away.

 

I take a deep breath, watching her go, and then call out. "Hey, Luna!"

 

She stops and turns around. "Yeah?"

 

"You know… you're a good person."

 

Her face softens, but before she can say anything, I continue, "I think it's better if we stop talking from now on."

 

"Huh? What do you mean?" Luna asks, confusion clouding her features. She starts to walk back toward me, but her friends call her name again.

 

She glances over her shoulder, "I'm coming!" she shouts back before turning back to me. "Wait—"

 

But by the time she looks, I'm already gone.

 

A strange unease washes over Luna, a sinking feeling she can't shake as she stands there alone, staring at the empty space where I'd just been.

 

 

"That was unnecessary," a dark voice echoes in my mind, breaking the silence that had settled after I distanced myself from Luna. It had been quiet ever since that incident, but now it returned, sharp and insistent, cutting through my thoughts.

 

I felt a flicker of guilt for lying to Luna, but the voice interrupted again.

 

"You need to abandon these useless emotions," it said, firm and relentless.

 

I pushed the thought aside, ready to leave the training grounds when a familiar voice stopped me.

 

"Rem."

 

I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. "Yes?" I said as I glanced back.

 

Noelle stood there, her face framed by the fiery hair that cascaded down her back, the familiar necklace hanging around her neck.

 

"Good. I've been looking for you—let's train together," she said, her tone casual but with an undercurrent of something else, something more.

 

I looked down at my bandaged arm, the remnants of self-inflicted wounds still fresh. She noticed too.

 

"What happened to your arm?" Noelle asked, reaching out to touch it, concern evident in her eyes.

 

Without thinking, I pulled my arm back before she could reach me. "Nothing. I just hurt myself," I replied, forcing another empty, hollow smile.

 

Her expression faltered, hurt flashing across her face as she withdrew her hand.

 

"I see… No problem. You can still watch us train. It's better than doing nothing." She gestured for me to follow her, trying to be kind.

 

But the warmth in her voice only stirred the cold inside me. My smile faded, replaced by a steely gaze. "Noelle," I said, my tone sharp, cutting through the air like a blade. "You can stop now. There's no need to burden yourself for me."

 

The coldness in my voice lingered between us, sharp and heavy.

 

Noelle's expression shifted, concern flickering in her eyes as she sighed.

 

"Look, Rem," she said gently. "I was with my friends, and I made a mistake—slipped up. You're not a burden to me, okay? Let's just go."

 

She reached for my left arm, but I pulled it back before she could grab hold.

 

Her hand hovered in the air for a moment, and the hurt in her eyes deepened. I had never pushed her away before, not in all the years we'd known each other. But now... I did.

 

"No, it's fine," I said, my voice as hollow as the smile that never reached my eyes.

 

Her concern grew, but I cut her off before she could say more.

 

"I agree with Brian. He's right."

 

"I mean, what am I even useful for anymore?" I muttered bitterly. "I don't have my family's power, I'm weak, and honestly... you don't need me. Let's be real, Noelle, I was just some pathetic charity case for you to feel better about yourself. You don't actually care. I'm nothing to you now, so why don't you find someone else to pretend to care about?"

 

Before I could finish, Noelle grabbed me with sudden force, shoving me hard against the wall.

 

BANG!

 

The impact sent a crack through the wall behind me, but strangely... it didn't hurt.

 

"Shut up!" she screamed, her voice shaking. Tears welled in her eyes.

 

I stared at her, expressionless. I should've felt something—guilt, regret, anything—but instead...

 

I felt anger.

 

"Let go," I growled, my voice low and sharp.

 

Noelle didn't say a word. Her grip on me only tightened, fingers digging into my arm as if she could physically force me to stay, to listen.

 

Soon, a crowd of students started to gather, drawn by the commotion.

 

See, Rem, the dark voice hissed in my head. This is your so-called childhood friend. She didn't even hesitate to attack you. After everything, she's still treating you like you're beneath her.

 

The voice grew louder, more insistent. Show her. You can't let this go.

 

I clenched my left hand, rage bubbling up from somewhere deep inside me.

 

That's it... bring it out, the voice whispered.

 

Suddenly, dark blue flames ignited around my left hand. They flickered and twisted, burning bright, yet I didn't feel any heat—just a sharp, tingling pain.

 

But the flames... they made me feel stronger, more alive.

 

With a burst of strength, I grabbed Noelle's wrist, the blue flames coiling around her arm like a serpent. She gasped in shock, her grip faltering. I pushed her back, breaking free. The crowd gasped, eyes widening in disbelief as Noelle stumbled away from me.

 

I could still feel the dark voice grinning inside my head. Good... that's it...

 

The flames didn't burn, but they made me stronger, physically.

 

Suddenly, Nila came rushing over, her expression furious and confused.

 

"What the hell is happening here?" she shouted, darting over to Noelle and helping her to her feet.

 

She froze when she noticed the blue flames flickering on my left arm.

 

"You... When did you unlock your Uniqueness?"