I jolted awake to the sound of Jarvey's frantic voice echoing through the small, circular Ravenclaw dormitory. He wasn't just yelling—no, that would have been tolerable. He was also rocking my head back and forth like an overenthusiastic cheerleader.
"Wake up, wake up! Blonde-haired, it's time!!"
"Oh—oh yeah. Damn, I'm sleepy," I mumbled groggily, swatting at him like an annoyed Kneazle.
I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, though the room still seemed annoyingly blurry. My mind felt like porridge—lukewarm and lumpy—but the squeakiness in Jarvey's tone was undeniable. I guess it was late.
Still half-asleep, I patted my robe pocket and found my wallet. Pulling it out, I opened it and felt around inside until my fingers brushed something cold and metallic. The microphone. As soon as I pulled it free, my tiredness slipped away like a fading dream. My grip tightened around it. Time to get in character.
I raised the microphone to my mouth, glancing at Jarvey, who was practically vibrating with excitement.
"Three, two, one… and we're on!" My voice rang out clearly, a bit louder than I'd intended. "Welcome, students of Hogwarts! It is officially 8:00 a.m. on March 20th, and this is the first-ever transmission of—"
"8:04," Jarvey corrected sharply, arms crossed.
"Sorry. 8:04 a.m. A little late for the radio, but hey, we're up and running!" I grinned, leaning back on my bed as I continued. "Today, we have a beautiful rising sun—" I paused, glancing out the window. The sun was already well above the horizon, pouring golden light onto the grounds below. "Well, okay, an already risen sun. Just look at it! Er… not directly, though, unless you fancy going blind. Maybe look sideways? Anyway, moving on!"
I swung my legs off the bed and stretched as I spoke, letting the words flow naturally. "Today, March 20th, is a very special day. Why? Because it's my birthday! Yes, yes, hold your applause." I smirked as Jarvey mock-clapped beside me, his furry little hands making no actual noise.
I grabbed my guitar from where it leaned against the wall and flicked my wand. The microphone floated obediently beside me as I opened the window with another flick. The crisp morning air rushed in, smelling of fresh grass and the faint, ever-present hint of Hagrid's cabbages.
"I cast Fly," I muttered under my breath. With that, Jarvey hopped onto my shoulder, and together we floated upwards, rising gently like enchanted bubbles until we reached the top of the Ravenclaw tower. I plopped down onto the cold, uneven tiles, the faint pressure of the roof's grooves pressing into my butt, it was a weirdly nice feeling I had grown accustomed too.
"Hey, don't forget the name of the radio!" Jarvey reminded me, jabbing a tiny claw into my neck.
"Oh, right. This broadcast is brought to you by Jarvey Radios!" I announced, waving an invisible wand for dramatic effect. "Now, you might be wondering, what channel is this? Simple! This is the only radio channel. 102.3 Real Wizards FM, where we play chants, chants, and more chants. And to kick things off, I'll be playing a song to commemorate my birthday! It's my favorite, so I hope you enjoy it. If not, well… tough luck. You're stuck with it anyway."
I strummed the guitar once, the rich, melodic tone carrying across the rooftops of Hogwarts. Then I began to play.
Drake Macmillan's POV
"What on Merlin's beard is that noise?" I muttered, groggily sitting up in my four-poster bed. The Slytherin dormitory was usually quiet at this hour, in fact it was quiet at almost every hour, but not today. A voice—a familiar voice—was echoing through the dorms.
"Now, you may be wondering what channel this is," it boomed cheerfully. "Simple! This is the only radio channel. 102.3 Real Wizards FM—"
"Felix," I groggily muttered under my breath, recognizing the owner of the voice instantly. Did he get in to the Syltherin dorm somehow? I wouldn't put that behind him.
I pulled on my piyamas and stumbled into the common room, where a crowd of bleary-eyed Slytherins had already gathered. They were all staring around in confusion, trying to pinpoint the source of the noise. The enchanted greenish glow of the room only made everyone look more irritable.
"The chant goes something like this," Felix's voice continued. "Sing along if you know the words!"
A guitar began to play—a jaunty, upbeat rhythm that was impossible to ignore. And then, to weird me out even more, he started singing.
[Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond]
"Where it began
I can't begin to know when
But then I know it's growin' strong..."
Marcus Flint, standing beside me, groaned audibly. "Is he singing?" he demanded, looking as though someone had just hexed his breakfast.
"Was in the spring,
And spring became the summer
Who'd have believe you'd come along?"
"He is," I confirmed, rubbing my temples as the song continued.
"How is he even doing this?" I muttered to myself. "The Wizarding Wireless Network doesn't work inside Hogwarts. How is he broadcasting his voice in here?"
"It's a nightmare," Marcus grumbled, his hands tapping his waist, a tick he had got whenever he felt Felix was going to do something to him, or what Felix liked to call it, mild shellshock. "I swear I had one just like this last week."
The song continued unabated, joined now by a second voice—high-pitched, squeaky and unmistakably belonging to Jarvey.
"Hands,
Touching hands,
Reaching out,
Touching me, touching you—"
The entire room cringed in unison.
"Sweet Caroline, ba, ba, ba!" Felix and Jarvey sang in perfect harmony.
The Slytherin prefect, Alexander Yaxley, strode into the room with a thunderous expression. "Spread out!" he barked. "Find the source of this racket! NOW!"
"Good times never seemed so good
I've been inclined
To believe they never would"
Most of the Slytherins began to walk around the common room, looking beneath chairs, sofas or whatever. The song, meanwhile, continued to ring out from everywhere and nowhere at once. I however just closed my eyes and tapped my foot as the song continued.
"But now I look at the night
And it don't seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two
And when I hurt
Hurtin' runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when holdin' you?"
My lips almost moved o their own as I muttered the chorus, myself.
"Warm
Touchin' warm
Reachin' out
Touchin' me, touchin' you
Sweet Caroline"
"Ba,ba,ba," I said a little louder than what I should have, as some older Slytherins turned to look at me. "Fuck you it's catchy."
"Good times never seemed so good
I've been inclined
To believe they never would, oh, no, no"
"Sweet Caroline"
"Ba,ba,ba."
"Good times never seemed so good
Sweet Caroline
I believe they never could
Sweet Caroline."
As the final string was strung, I kept recalling the chorus, over and over, especially the ba,ba,ba at the end. It was so merlin damn catchy.
Felix's POV
I strummed the final chord, letting it linger in the crisp morning air. "I hope you all enjoyed the first transmission of Jarvey Radio!" I declared proudly. "Stay tuned, because we'll be continuing with more of the greatest hits I know how to play—right up until it's time for class."
I leaned back, my whole back now pressed against the tiles, satisfied, as Jarvey gave me a gleeful thumbs-up.
"So Jarvey, any recommendations for our second transmission," I said over the radio.
"Oh, oh I got it, Hold On" by Wilson Phillips."
"I don't know how to play that."
"Oh," he said his neck stretching downwards, guess I would have to learn a new one then.
"How about, Hey Jude, everyone is fine with Hey Jude." I said over the microphone. Everything was quiet for a couple of seconds, except for the whipping of the wind. "Hey Jude, it is then."
Patreon.com/JoanjudoStories