The Boy lands in japan and spends the first two days looking for anything that could be important while visiting various tourist attractions with his mom. He thinks about giving up. They head back to their air bnb and late at night while The Mom is asleep The Boy looks at the ceiling. He closes his eyes for only a few seconds but as soon as he opens them again he sees a man laying on his back on the ceiling. Before The Boy could react it sticks its hand out, points at him with 2 fingers and swipes to The Boy's right. He gets sent flying along with half of the top floor of the 2 story building to the street. The Boy instinctively lands on his feet and hears a voice call out "Domain Expansion…. DIDDY PARTY!!" and before he realized it, space was bending around him and right before the domain fully wrapped around him a loud crash occurred above diddy's head the domain was broken into and out of the hole in space came a girl with a giant axe.
She has on a oversized pink puffer jacket Its zipped up but underneath is a black crop top and she's has on some nice black pants and black converse white toed of course. Very fashionable for a giant axe wielding girl.
She strikes down Diddy. "AHH!! BACKSHOTS!" he falls to the ground face first. The mysterious girl leaps to The Boy, grabs his hand and starts walking. He pulls his hand away. "My mom is still in there! and wait a minute.. you're the japanese girl in my dream!!" she looks at him with an offended stare. "I'm filipino you racist." "oh…sorry 'bout that" he replies while walking away. He climbs the building by the rubble and wakes up his mom. She's a heavy sleeper.
Diddy gets up and the girl and The Boy notices it. The Boy gets ready to fight but the girl picks up his mom and starts running. The Boy is surprised and follows after her. Diddy summons ballsacks from his hands and throws them at them. The Boy catches one but drops it and screams out of disgust. When it hits the ground it explodes and The Boy flies away. Soon as he lands on his butt he starts running and they keep running until they escape.
One of the sacks grows an eye and little spider legs. And it walks away.
They take shelter behind some trash cans and she introduces herself as Consolación "just call me Connie or something" she says. "Hi Connie it is very nice to meet you" The Mother replies. Connie gives her a fake smile.
"We need to go. Diddy and the others will find us."
Connie starts walking but The Boy grabs her hand and pull her back down. "What is going on?".
"Your name is The Boy right?"
"yes"
"you know santa do you?"
"yeah"
"then we gotta go!"
"who are you?!"
"Consolación"
"no. like who are you"
"Kriss had a brother. And his brother had kids and his kids had kids and on and on"
"Wow really!?"
"I've never actually met Kriss before tho"
"then why are-"
"you'll get more answers when we get to taiwan"
"Taiwan???"
"it'll be extremely dangerous so your mom will have to stay"
The Boy looks at his mom and she just smiles and says "I'll be fine you go on ahead. My little boy is gonna save the world again and all yay but please be careful I know I can't stop you. Just help this young lady and do NOT go into another underground base. They're terrible people and I know those people could do horrible awful things. I'm lucky they saw my I.D. and realized I'm not a minor otherwise who knows what would'v-". "MOM!" She looks at him with watery eyes. "I'll be okay." She nods. "I'll enjoy the rest of my vacation and then I'll go home. I trust your little friend will take you home." Connie looks up and says "I promise".
"quick question" Connie says to The Mom. "you think you can give us a ride to Nishi-Ōi station?".
Elvis waits until the young woman is asleep and then he tries to sneak out of her house. He's interrupted by a rumbling in his stomach. He goes to the restroom for quite a while and falls asleep on the toilet.
His sleep is interrupted by a loud crash and scream. He runs and busts down the door and sees 2 men in all black suits and masks running out the door with the young woman. Elvis charges toward them but his pants were down so he tripped and fell. An older woman comes running out of her room and sees Elvis with his pants down and starts hitting him with a tennis racket.
He explains everything but leaves out the wet parts. She introduces herself as The Girls Mom which is apparently a common name in the area and they begin the B plot of finding her daughter whose name is Olivia which is surprisingly not at all common.
Together they get in Elvis's car and drive down the road to see one of the kidnappers tying his shoe while sing a shoe tying song. I can't think of one but just believe me. I'm literally the one writing this so you better believe me.
Elvis's notices him "hey aint that one of them?" and without any hesitation The Girls Mom, without ever seeing the kidnappers pulls on the steering wheel and they hit them. She gets out and starts hitting him with a shoe. Elvis gets out to join her but realizes they hit the wrong guy. "is that him?" The Girls Mom says when she points at someone else tying their shoe in all black. "yeah i think so. sorry man" the guy they hit is on the floor crying and bleeding with a bunch of broken bones and missing teeth. Elvis slides money in his pocket.
They get back in the car and drive only a couple feet to hit one of the kidnappers with his car. They get out and make sure it's the right guy and it is! They jump his and take off the mask to reveal drake. "uh oh spaghetti o's" he says.
They take him in a gas station bathroom to interrogate him. He's all tied up and blindfolded diddy style. "weird to be the tied up one for once" The Girls Mom slaps him. "owie".
"Tell us where you took her daughter and why"
"I'LL NEVER TALK!!"
"dam ok we're actually gonna have to beat it out of him I've never done this before"
"just give up my lips are sealed!"
"hey The Girls Mom you're actually pretty strong I assume you have powers"
"yeah I do actually" she replies. Drake looks at her. She reveals her power "I see dead people". Drake is traumatized and starts crying and says "NOOO ILL TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT".
They learn from Drake that the kidnappers were taking Olivia to El Espinillo, Formosa all the way in Argentina. "ugghhh that's so farr" says Elvis but it's actually no problem at all since he big money. They get on Elvis's private jet and begin their flight.
The Boy and Connie woke up at 6:20 and made it to Yamakawa Station at 2:39. They walk around the shore and make it to the docks nearby and when they do they- "wait" The Boy rudely interrupted. "I'm starving". Okay then they stop to eat for a bit and then they go steal a boat. Yknow what they're gonna be late they stole a real nice and real fast speed boat that just so happened to be there.
While they eat they also enjoy a conversation. "Whats your story" she asks. "huh?". "Well you came all this way no hesitation. Why's it so important to you other than the Badman Island incident?". "Well I guess it's my mom".
"But it looked like she didn't want you to go"
"She didn't but I dont blame her, she's been through a lot…"
"Well don't stop now I'm interested"
"She met this guy a long time ago and he did some alful things. It's kinda hard to talk about"
"What he do?"
"I don't wanna talk about it"
"C'mon tell me and I'll tell you my sad backstory"
"Fine. She got pregnant and decided to keep it."
"Then wheres the baby now?"
"He grew up"
"Oh…I'm sorry"
"It's alright I kinda needed to talk about it since I've never told anyone else"
"I can see why it matters to you. I would feel the same way if I was born from such evil"
"Woah! Wait no! I wasn't talking about me!"
"Then who?"
4 HOURS LATER.
"So what do you need me for?" The Boy asks. "Tbh I just wanted some company and I'm wearing my good pants today so you know the pockets are small so now you can carry that hat for me. And don't lose it it's important" The Boy thinks to himself "Pretty selfish reason so make me go on a boat for a bajillion hours but and I wonder what's important about the hat? No way I'ma ask rn she creeping me out." but he only says "Ah okay seems legit".
"tell me about yourself Connie" quickly, she answers with "I like peaches and those chocolate mint girl scout cookies. My favorite color is also peach and I like to draw even though i'm not really good. And I love my Dad more than anyone in the world!" The Boy just stares. "And you?" she says to him. "I like red…..I like fortnite and my mom is pretty cool. Uhhh… what about your family." "Oh.. uhh my family lives in the philippines. My Grandma and Dad and stuff." The Boy thinks for a second and then says "What are your parents like?" "They're normal 100 percent I got my gross manly features from my dad but my sweetness I got from him too and thats okay! now let's just sit in silence".
The little sack from earlier grew gills and learned to swim faster and faster so it can catch up with them.
Elvis and The Girls Mom try to have some fun during the flight. Elvis is piloting it. Elvis is trying to cheer her up with some jokes. "What's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist?" he says. She reluctantly replies with "what do they say?". He chuckles before he even says the punchline. "An optimist created the airplane and a pessimist created the seatbelts". She stares quietly at Elvis. And then. She laughs.
And it was that moment when Elvis saw her smile for the first time that he felt something he never felt for any other woman. He knew he would dedicate his life to seeing it again.
3 HOURS LATER
Elvis and The Girls Mom arrive. Elvis lands the plane in some field and they explore the town. An hour later they stop somewhere to eat a dog or something and during this something happens to The Boy and Connie.
Connie obtains a nervous look on her face. She walks across the boat towards The Boy's side. Her eyes widen and she tackles The Boy. Instantly, the entire right side of the boat is destroyed. A giant sea serpent soars up from the water. "WOAH!! That things gotta be at least a mile long!" The Boy exclaims. The sea serpent ready's itself to strike again.
Connie jumps off the boat and into the water and she runs on it. The serpent's scales around its neck point out like a porcupine and shoot out towards Connie. She jumps onto its body and runs up it. Connie dodges the scales, first she jumps over a few. She twists and turns so elegantly while holding her giant ax. She deflects some scales with her ax and then she slides on her knees and then launches herself high above the serpent. Connie grabs her ax with both hands and starts spinning it. When she gets close enough she strikes down on the serpents head, easily slicing it and the water.
"There that was easy my dad could take on 10 of those things" says Connie. The Boy looks at her with fear and stammers. "T-t-t- g-g- s-s-s" connie looks in realization. "Erm he's right behind me isn't he? *gulp*". The serpent had healed back to full health. The serpent smacks Connie away with its tail sending her skipping across the ocean like a rock. The Boy joins in the fight. Connie runs across the water towards The Boy and all she says is his name and he immediately understands. Connie leaps into the air and rides her ax like a skateboard. The Boy makes a small bomb of energy, touches the bottom of her ax, and launches her into the air. Connie zips through the air and performs a pop shove-it mid air. She jumps over the serpent's head and the ax slices its head off. The Boy shoots a new attack. He puts his hands together. His hands radiate heat. A ball of flame forms in his hand. He pulls back his arm and calmly says.
"crematoria.."
He throws it and a big ball of fire flies towards the serpent's body. It explodes and burns the serpent. Connie lands in the water on her ax like a surfboard. "Wow, that was cool" she says. The serpent starts regenerating but this time slower. "That'll buy us enough time to escape" The Boy tells Connie. She jumps off the ax and gets on the broken boat. Connie spins her ax and hits the water which makes them launch high in the air. The Boy uses a striped pajama stream while they're mid air to send themselves flying high into the sky towards taiwan. By the time the serpent had finished healing they had already escaped on half a boat.
Seeing this, the sack from earlier learned and began to evolve a little more. It grew a tail and mouth.
"so I had this dream…" The Boy mentions. "yeah…?" Connie replies. "you were in it. And you were in some snowstorm and you were leading a small group of small people. But then. You mentioned something about the 25th…". Connie looks at him weird. "I dunno nothin 'bout that. I'm just here to find santas hat. Which is the one gave you. That you got there". The Boy looks down at Kriss's hat.
"I'm taking on the role as Santa but im waiting until we get to where we need to go to put it on so it'll be special when everyone is watching". "That's great saves me the trouble of trying to find the next santa cus a friend told me something about that. Oh hey that's probably why I had that dream". "oh yeah maybe". "Is your dad gonna be there when we get there from the way it sounded he seems crazy strong and I wanna meet him". "uh..yeah. He said he'd try to make it there but he's busy saving the work all the time so it's alright if he doesn't make it I'm not weird about him not being there all the time. I'm away from home too alot so it don't bother me".
"ah…Cool!" he relied
An hour later, The Boy and Connie make it to Hualien and someone is there waiting for them. It's Denji and Annoying Orange but he looks a little weird. Kinda tall for an orange, hairy, and he talks funny. Maybe he's rotten or something.
Denji starts talking to The Boy and Connie "Hey we're here to… uh…Idk i forgor". "he's here to take us to your super secret base. I remember that because I'm the best at remembering. I am the best. I am also new here." Annoying orange interrupts. And so they start hiking up that big ass mountain.
Elvis and The Girls Mom searched damn near the entire town and its night where they're at. 2:58 AM in Argentina and 1:58 PM in Taiwan. They lose hope and begin to go back to the plane to rethink their plan when they notice some fat guy whispering into some blue fountain. "hey dead people and you tell me what that guy is saying" says The Girls Mom while they hide behind some trees. "okie dokie" says some dead guy but in spanish. The Girls Mom knows spanish btw. "uh he say 'araipee thagote jafy eee'" but in spanish. The Girls Mom repeats it back to Elvis and he understands the jibberish because he always be talkin nonsense.
The fountain lifts up and reveals a staircase and the fat guy looks up and groans loudly "they gotta add a staircase or something". The fat guy slowly starts going down the stairs and the fountain goes back down snd covers the staircase. The Girls Mom and Elvis go to the fountain and Elvis says "R.I.P THE GOAT JEFFERY E.". The fountain lifts up and they go down the stairs. The Girls Mom slips on water and falls onto Elvis who then falls all the way down the stairs onto the fat guy. "wow that is a serious safety hazard" The Girls Mom says. She kicks the fat guy a little to see if he's alive. Elvis is on top of him recovering from his fall. The fat guy lifts up his head and they find out it's Dan Schneider. Dan says "Hey! you guys aren't supposed to be here!" he reaches into his pocket and grabs a walkie talkie and is about to alert the entire facility of them but Elvis leans over, grabs Dan by the back of his head and his jaw and he snaps his neck leaving Dan laying on his big belly but facing the ceiling.
Even though it hurt Elvis liked the feeling of her falling onto him.
The Girls Mom decides to loot his body and she finds a big bottle of lube in his pocket she gets the idea and lubes up the stairs. "wha you doin?" Elvis asks. "setting up a trap incase someone else comes". Elvis is impressed by her smart thinking. "We should move Dan out the way cus the only reason I'm not hurt is cus I landed on him" he adds. "good idea" she says back to him. He smiles.
The Girls Mom feels a chill on her entire body. She is completely frozen in fear. "What's the mattuh?" Elvis asks.
"so…much…..children. Everywhere."
Elvis's eyes widen. The Girls Mom begins to speak. "Whispers…of The Hurt...Relive in power." She's panicking. "They're hungry".
Elvis relaxes her and they go back up the stairs. They return to the jet and he tells her to stay and relax. "I'll be back. Some friends taught me to map out an area so ima go do that." he leaves her alone in the jet.
"I probably should stay with her. Maybe hug her...no I don't want to weird her out. Is it wrong of me to leave her alone. I don't know. I'm such an idiot…"
While he infiltrates the base The Boy and Connie make it to the super cool base. "Thank god were here tbh I was kinda aimlessly walking cus I forgot where it was" says Denji. "Very nice I'm the best" annoying orange says. The Boy and Connie both reply with "bruh".
There's a wooden door on the side of the mountain. With a simple hand and lock. But the hinges aren't connected. Denji picks up the door. It's a hallway that leads to a big room. They go inside and Denji puts the door back. They walk down the hall. The big room is actually a huge meeting room. A long table carved from stone and seats around it made from the mountain.
"We've been waiting for your arrival, Santa."
At the end of the table is a hooded figure. And 6 out of 9 chairs are filled. Denji sits on a chair. The newbie, Annoying Orange also find his seat. 8 out of 9 seats have filled. Connie sit on the opposite side of the long table from the hooded figure. All seats have been taken. She looks around and recognizes their faces. At the table is Finn Mertens, Captain Man, Denji, Annoying Orange, moist critical, The Joker, Puss in Boots and the hooded figure. They take off their hood. It's the Hawk Tuah Girl. And last at the table is Connie.
"Welcome Annoying Orange and Santa as our newest members. We are the Pole Society! You may know me as the Hawk Tuah Girl and I wouldn't blame you the Hawk Tuah meme is still massive. We actually record episodes of my podcast here sometimes. Oh but my name is actually Haliey Welch."
"She talks tuah much" everyone says in their head.
"Who is that guy" Haliey says when she points at The Boy. Denji answers. "I dunno he was with her and I found her". Connie buts in "Thats my friend, The Boy. He helped out and has been holding onto the hat for m-" "Wait hold on" Haliey interrupts. "His name is The Boy?? and no one ever said anything about it??? The. Boy. Cruel parents. How does no one question his name. Is Boy your last name? Or is it backwards? Who is this guy?"
"The is my last name. Boy is my first name technically. It's backward yeah. I'm Canadian." The Boy nervously answered. "You look jewish to me" she replied. "Next time someone come in here with a fake sounding name like that question them please. This base is super secret and It's embarrassing if someone with the fake name like Standing Steve or something like that leaks our base. You don't see me calling myself Hauk Tuah Girl no it's Haliey. Even tho most people know me as that cus it's an internet sensation. For all we know Annoying Orange could be a leak or something if he wasn't also a former internet star like me. From now on do background checks on anyone stepping foot on this island. 'The Boy' dumbass name. No more fake sounding names allowed alright? No shade to you though go pull up a folding chair from the storage closet we only have 9 cool looking chairs".
The Boy goes and gets a chair and awkwardly fails to set it up next to Connie. "Alright! we're all here!" Haliey says. Captain Man stands up with documents in hand and readies himself to start his speech. "so uh-"
"Hold on cus what the sigma? Captain Man? The Joker? The Boy? Annoying Orange? what are all these wack names?? And- and puss in boots? Whats next? The Silly Guy In Socks Jr.??? How much trouble was it getting through that door?" *silence* "no seriously answer the question cus you can't theres no security the door don't even work are you guys cold? I'm freezing cus our base is in the middle of nowhere on the top of a mountain and the door isn't connected to the door hook thingies idk what they're called. We obviously don't get paid my podcast is the reason we have a few extra foldable chairs and a broom in the storage closet. Hey 'The Boy' what did you see in there..NOTHING! Just a broom and like 3 foldable chairs I had to STEAL from a friends little brother or cousin or something's birthday party I could only carry 3 because I smushed my finger between where it folds. I know it's not the most accessible base and its not some pot luck but did you guys bring anything? No. There cities down the mountain but no one thought to bring any snacks. I haven't tried any local food yet. Are you guys hungry? I know Annoying Orange isn't I hear the mcdonald's wrapper he has in his pocket but he didn't think to bring us any. Let's all get food after this. Captain Man I'm sorry please continue".
"Nah it's…it's fine. I'm fine. Me and The Joker found the enemy base. It's actually the world's largest casino. Known as The Venetian Macau". "I bet they bring food to meetings with that kind of mone- Oh wait no I'm so sorry Cap I didn't mean to interrupt please continue". "Uh nah that's pretty much it…..I guess morale is steadily decreasing."
Connie raises her hand. "I thought The Joker was a villian?". "Well I ain't no child predator. Why so serious *beatbox*" he replies. "Yah ok my fault" "you're good"
"alrighty then thats a wrap we'll talk invasion plans and then by friday we should invade how does that sound? Denji could you pass around the map of The Venetian Macau that Captain Man and The Joker kindly provided?" Haliey ordered.
Annoying Orange stands up and walks out the hall. They all slowly start to notice him. He's acting strange. He's laughing. He removes Orange paint off his face but he's still the same color. He removes a bald cap off his head and pulls out a walkie talkie.
"Execute order 69"