UNREQUITED LOVE
Harley swallowed as she adjusted the veil on her best friend 's head.
"Perfect."
The bride herself was perfect. She was beautiful. Her dark, brown hair was pulled back into an elegant bun. The light simple makeup that was made to bring out her already beautiful features performed it's magic.
Harley swallowed again as she got up and looked at her best friend in the full body mirror. She was donned in a fitting, sleeveless wedding dress that swept the floors, the sweetheart neckline accentuating her shape. A heart shaped diamond necklace rested on her collarbone along with matching earrings, complimenting the look.
Gosh, even the simplest things looked beautiful on her.
Her eyes trailed to the floor, unable to look at her any longer.
"I feel like I'm missing something." The beautified female hums in thought as she examined her appearance in the mirror. "Maybe it's the hair."
"Olivia."
"Or the makeup?"
"Olivia."
"Oh gosh, I forgot about the cake. Did I tell them not to put the vanilla? Oh gosh, I should have told them, I should have-"
"Oli!" She had to place her hands on the woman's shoulder and literally shake her back to reality. The movement made her bangs sway slightly and Harley hurried to sweep it behind her ear.
"You'll be fine. Everything is going to be fine." Harley said slowly as if she were talking to a child. Her lips twitched into a reassuring smile and a momentarily stunned Olivia gives her a warm one back. "Thanks, Harley. You always have my back"
"Always." She confirmed with a grin. "You'll see everything is going to be just -"
"Everything is not fine!" A panicked man bursts in, followed by two females. The first female, a tall woman with looks similar to Olivia, had her shoulders in a slump, with her eyes half-lidded. In other words, she looked like she would rather be anywhere but there. The second, a shorter female with her blonde hair in a neat bob and sapphire blue eyes. Her expression was similar to that of the other woman.
"Oswald." The taller female exhaled, caressing the bridge of her nose. "Calm down. It's just a tie."
"It is not just a tie, Bridget!" The man objected. "A tie brings the whole look together! The suit, the pants, the looks, everything!"
"So we'll get another one. There's a literal clothing store next door." The blonde said, gesturing to the doorway.
"I'm not going to have MY future brother-in-law go to his wedding with a....thrifty tie that costs 10 dollars and 19 cents!"
All Bridget could do was count backwards to ten and recite her calm mantra in her mind. This was what she got for marrying a bratty, spoilt fashion designer. "Well, we can't go back to our place to pick up another one, it's too far!"
"It will only take twenty minutes."
"That's too long!"
While the argument was going on, Harley's eyes trailed to her black bag. Inside was a wedding gift she had specially made to present to the groom. It seemed she would have to give him early. Bringing out a small cardboard box, she cleared her throat and presented it to them. "Maybe this would work?" She offered. Before she could get another word out, it was grabbed by Oswald who brightened up at the sight of what laid underneath.
"Yes, yes, it will do perfectly! Oh, you're a lifesaver!" Oswald exclaimed, glomping her with a hug.
"Well, she saved your life." Bridget remarked snarkily, glaring daggers at her husband.
"Okay, okay, can we not give this bride more anxiety than she already has? Harley, could you get this to Dominic for me? The others are a bit... occupied." Olivia gave her best friend a pleading look, her eyes flickering over to Oswald.
No. She couldn't face him.
"Of course." She smiled.
As her feet led the way, her once calm mind turned to a whirlwind of thoughts? What was she doing? Why didn't she just say no? Or say she had diarrhea. Or lie she had a sprained wrist.
Too late, she was already here.
Her hand hovers the door, exhaling out a shaky breath before giving a light knock. Not bothering to wait for a reply, she walks in with slow steps and softly closes the door.
And there he was, the groom in front of the mirror looking well dressed and staring at his reflection. The crisp white suit that hugged his body and his gelled hair did bad things to her heart and she had to place a hand on her chest, exhaling and willing it to calm down. He didn't seem to have notice her, fiddling with a white plastic flower and a contemplative look on his face.
He was nervous.
She cleared her throat lightly, alerting him of her presence.
"Oh, hey Quinn." He gave her a small smile, those baby blue eyes that always seemed guarded softened around her.
They always did.
"Is that a present?" He inquired, catching sight of the small object in her hand.
The female nods in response, opening the box to reveal a black tie with beautiful embroidered threads spelling out his name in cursive. "I wanted to give you this at the actual wedding but-"
"Oswald." He interrupted with a roll of his eyes. "That man couldn't be not dramatic even if he tried."
"That's Oswald." Harley replied with a soft grin before gently clearing her throat and stepping back. "Well I should go and help out the girls so-" She turned to go back but was stopped by a warm hand clasping her arm. Her eyes widened just a bit, pushing that small feeling of hope that bloomed in her chest. She also pushed down that small pit of disappointment as he offered the tie with a sheepish smile.
"I haven't learned how to tie it yet." He admits and Harley couldn't help but let out a chuckle. She hid her nervousness behind a smile and stepped forward with the tie in hand. She had to stand on her tippy toes for a bit to loop the tie around his neck, breath hitching slightly as his cologne hit her senses.
'Calm down, Harley. Just breath.' Her eyes stayed on his chest as her hands moved in autopilot to make quick of the tie. She bites her lip in response to her eyes that were starting to get glossy.
Once upon a time, she had dreamt about doing this every morning with him. Helping him get ready for work and giving him a goodbye kiss.
At least she was living half of the dream. Even if it was once before he got married to her best friend.
After going through that mental torture, Harley spent the rest of her remaining hours in the bathroom keeping her emotions in check.
"You're fine." She told herself. "You are going to be fine."
She constantly repeated like it was a mantra. Even as she stepped out of the bathroom. Even as she helped her friends with the finishing touches. Even as Olivia raved about how she imagined the perfect honeymoon.
But as they stood there at the altar, looking at each there like they were the only people in that room, Harley couldn't take it. That look of love and pure adoration made her want to vomit.
Hurriedly, she stands up from her seat and runs to the bathroom, ignoring the curious looks sent her way. Retching noises erupted from her lips as she lowered her head to the sink but all that came out was spit.
The nauseous feeling got more imminent and Harley sticks her fingers in her mouth to alleviate it but all that got were wheezes and coughs. The coughs turn into sobs and the sobs turn into full-blown wailing as she sunk to the tiled floors.
Her gut-wrenching sounds echoed through the bathrooms walls, emphasizing the fact that she was alone. Left to battle with her own struggles.
If it were up to her, she would spend the rest of the day curled up on the bathroom floor without the will to do anything. But how would the females react when they got into the bathroom and found the bride's best friend curled up on the ground? Letting out a shaky breath, she stands up and looks in the mirror.
She looked like a mess. Sad, blood shot eyes with wet mascara running down her cheek and smudged eye shadow. With a splash of water and a face towel, her face returned to it's normal state.
She couldn't go back there. She would just break down again. So she leaves and ventures into the streets with no particular destination in mind. Her eyes stayed fixated on the ground as her feet subconsciously moved forward, everything else fading into the ground as she mentally battled with her emotional.
She felt a lot of things at once. Pain. Bittersweet joy. Guilt. Sorrow. Regret. But most of all, anger.
Anger at herself.
Ever since, Olivia had broken the news if getting married to Dominic, she always wondered: Would things have been different if she had just spoken up? All those times she would make up excuses not to hang out with him to spare herself those feelings she got around him...what if she had said yes? Would they have grown closer? Gone on dates perhaps?
Maybe.
But she was just so scared.
Everytime she thought of sharing her innermost feelings, she would freeze and get tongue tied. She thought she was okay with just observing.
So she did.
She watched herself introduce him to her best friend. He watched as he came to her rescue after her ex boyfriend had broken up with her. She watched herself staring sorrowfully at Domini's form as he bent down on one knee and presented a wedding ring to a sobbing Olivia.
It was funny how she watched all these years but couldn't find herself to this day. The pain in her chest intensifies as the memories flash by in her mind, tears blurring her vision as the realization that the only man she truly loved was now ripped away from her fingers and heart, leaving them bare and cold.
Completely caught up in her emotions, Harley doesn't realize when she wanders into the busy road. Passerbys notice this and express faces of shock at the sight of a woman walking aimlessly on the dangerous road. They let out yells of alarm, trying to alert the disoriented woman but she doesn't react.
It was the bright headlights of an oncoming car that snapped her out of her depressed state, and even then she couldn't find the energy to move away.
Perhaps it was stupidity. Madness even. But then she thought to herself: Wouldn't any other pain feel better compared to what she was feeling now?
At least the misery would go away. Her heart wouldn't have to ache and her mind wouldn't have to go crazy with what-if questions. Her eyes wouldn't have to water and her cheeks wouldn't have to hurt from fake smiling all-day. That guilt she always felt when looking at the innocent expression of joy on Olivia's face would disappear.
She would be completely numb.
A feeling she so desperately craved.
So she waited with bated breath.