The room fell silent for a moment. Allea lowered her head, imagining possible scenarios. She had always seen herself as patient, calm, and someone who didn't rush decisions. But was she truly going to become such a woman in the future? There was no way she could do it solely for love, and in this, she was right. Allea's descent into madness, the root of her tragedy, would occur because of the novel's protagonist, Avelina.
"Believe me or don't, it's up to you, Allea. Maybe, just once, you can trust me, but even so, the choice is yours. If, after all this, you still think I've lied to you despite loving you all my life, then so be it.... Even after you killed me, my feelings for you haven't wavered for a single moment. I try to let go of you, but even now, if I hug you , I feel like all my problems would vanish. I know it's foolish, but feelings were never meant to be rational…"
When Allea heard these words, it was as if something broke inside her heart—a kind of regret or pity. Pity for the Neonidas of the future, and for herself as well. Yet, at this moment, even she found it hard to digest everything, unsure of what exactly she should do. Should she apologize or, for once, embrace this Neonidas who loved her so deeply and give him what he wanted?
"I... I'm sorry. Realy sorry... I don't fully understand why I did such things in the future, but I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me this before? Why didn't you come to me and explain everything? Or at least, why did you keep smiling despite all you've been through?"
Although Allea apologized as a princess who had rarely uttered those words in her life, it wasn't a particularly convincing apology. Her words had turned into more of a questioning tone than a true expression of remorse. But this didn't deter Neonidas.
"Can the lips not smile while the heart weeps? Can the tongue speak cheerful words while the mind suffers? Allea... I understand that you don't fully believe me. But how could I so easily confess everything to the woman who killed me?"
Allea's eyes locked onto Neonidas for a moment after these words. She tried to understand the pain on his face and the fragility in his voice. But this was a complicated situation for her. The thought of possibly becoming someone like that in the future sent shivers down her spine. On one hand, she could feel the deep wounds inside Neonidas, but on the other, the idea that she might have caused those wounds filled her with self-loathing.
"For now, let's get back to the main issue," Neonidas said, his voice trembling. "Don't worry, I won't be an obstacle in your life. If you want to break the engagement, I'll accept it. But I'd like to ask for some time. Right now, I have countless enemies who want me dead, simply because I'm engaged to you and a clumsy duke at that. I still... want to live for now. I still.... want to enjoy the beauties of life. But I promise, once I gain enough strength, I'll step aside..... Even though it hurts, I know I can't be with you. I also know you'll never love me...."
"Neo…"
Allea's voice trembled, the words caught in her throat. She had never seen Neonidas this fragile, this vulnerable. No matter how weak and useless he appeared to be, he had always been proud and unyielding. There was an innate sense of ducal honor in him, and it was precisely for this reason he refused to cancel the engagement. But now, standing before her was a completely different man—a man who was suffering, wrestling with disappointments, yet somehow still standing.
"Neo... I never imagined you would speak to me like this," Allea began, averting her gaze from him. "I never thought you could express your feelings and pain in such a way. But… this terrifies me even more. Could I truly have caused you this much pain in the future? Killed you… and stood by, watching it all unfold?"
Neonidas took a deep breath, forcing a fake smile onto his face. That smile struck Allea like a dagger to the heart. It showed how he was clinging to the last shreds of his pride, but it wasn't enough to hide the wounds inside him.
"I didn't think talking to you, explaining everything, would help, Allea," he said, his voice trembling more than ever. "Knowing my feelings or what I've been through would only burden you. My pride wouldn't let me share my emotions like this. But... I felt compelled to tell you now because I know one day you'll be somewhere I can never reach. You'll be where you deserve to be, at the very top—as the empress."
Allea could see the sincerity behind Neonidas's words. But that sincerity stirred new turmoil within her. She could understand his pain and love, but she didn't want to face these truths. Because deep down, she feared that if she did, her life would never be the same again.
Taking a deep breath, Allea clasped her hands in front of her chest. Neonidas's words provided an unsettling clarity about the possibilities of the future. It wasn't just about Neonidas—it was also about a fate she needed to change. But she wasn't sure if she could bear such a heavy burden. Just as she was about to say something, Neonidas stopped her with his hand.
"There's no need for more words, Allea. For now, just act like we're in a good engagement, and I'll be grateful. I don't have the right to ask for anything else. Please, just let me live this second life."
Allea fell silent again at his words. A heavy weight settled in her heart, and she wasn't sure how much of it she could carry. Despite his attempts to hide it, the profound sorrow and exhaustion in Neonidas's eyes betrayed his helplessness. Deep down, Allea feared she wouldn't be able to reciprocate the pure love he felt for her. But at the same time, turning her back on such deep emotions felt like a betrayal of her own heart.
"All right, Neo," she finally whispered, her voice barely audible. "If that's what you want, I'll help you. No one will suspect our engagement is fake. But I want you to know… about my feelings—"
Neonidas stopped her once more with his hand. "Please… I've heard it enough already… In both of my lives."
Allea nodded in understanding, falling silent. Neonidas rose from his seat and glanced toward the door.
"For now, let's stay here a bit longer. If we return so soon, people might think we had a fight," Neonidas said. When Allea gave him a faint nod of approval, he walked toward the bathroom.
As Neonidas walked toward the bathroom, he made sure a single tear fell from his eye. He entered the bathroom and slowly closed the door behind him. Then, as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, a smile spread across his face, but this smile was different from the usual one Neonidas wore. There was a glimmer of victory hidden in this smile.
"Finally, Allea, you took the first step to get caught in my nets. No matter how powerful you are in this world or how incredibly smart you might be, you couldn't withstand me… You don't even realize that you've just taken the first step to becoming my personal puppet... But don't worry, I'll treat you well, after all, a very useful puppet doesn't deserve to be treated badly, does it? Huh, but this damn acting thing is realy exhausting."
After letting out a few deep sighs, Neonidas looked back at his face in the mirror. The man in the mirror was no longer smiling, but a man in pain, filled with disappointment, yet somehow still defeated by his own love. After a moment, he returned to Allea's side and purposefully sat next to her. It was as if he was a man desperately trying to be close to the woman he loved, and fortunately, Allea didn't object in any way. In fact, she even leaned a little closer to him.
Her face still held an expression of pain, but she had completely fallen into silence. The two of them stood there in silence for over half an hour. No words, no movement. Yet, strangely, after a while, Allea found that she was enjoying it. Although her mind was clouded with countless thoughts, spending time with Neonidas, just like when they were children, strangely made her feel good and peaceful.
When Allea and Neonidas returned to the ballroom, all the nobles' eyes turned to them. Neonidas had returned to his usual happy, mocking self, and there was a glimmer of light on Allea's face. The nobles, especially the men who had been courting Allea, were dying to know what had happened between the two of them in that room, but of course, no one dared to ask such an impolite question.
When Neonidas and Allea sat back down at their table, the duchess Lyranna noticed, somewhat surprisingly, that Soren was getting along quite well with her. But this wasn't all that surprising. As in the novel, Soren had been known as a skilled orator who drew the attention of the nobility. In particular, Neonidas had heard from his tutors that Soren often expressed an interest in subjects like politics, history, and culture.
However, after Allea and Neonidas had been seated for a while, that man—the story's main male character—approached the table again. The music was still fitting for dancing, and it was clear that some of the young nobles were dancing on stage. The man approached Princess Allea with an unashamed grin on his face, filled with self-confidence, and, under everyone's gaze, he extended his hand toward her.
"I'm sorry, princess, but may I have this dance?"
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As far as I can tell from the statistics, this novel has already reached a good readership, so I decided to sacrifice myself and read real women's novels for this novel(I had already read a few). I hope my readers will never forget this sacrifice.😭😭
Sasageo!