The last thing Yin Xue see is the light from a car that comes with speed...
Darkness and pain...
I feel a pain in all my body.... Didn't i died? Why does it hurts so bad....
.... Slap....
The pain comes swiftly..
"I need you to wake up and to push with all you got or you will die with your baby....."
... Baby?... What baby?.... Ohhh my huan?
I open my eyes and i look around me but im in a old house, a shed made of wood. Where i am? Isn't this the hospital...?
"Push again Young Master, i can see the head..."
..... What head... What is happening...
A new wave of pain is taking my body and i start to push. A numbing is spreading in all my lower back and i feel like something is cutting my insides.
"Aaaaahhhhh."
"That's it. One more time."
What one more time? I feel like im gonna die again....
"I can't....." (i feel like im loosing my conscience )
-No, dont faint
.... Slap, slap.....
"Why? Did you hit me....."
"One more time...."
A new wave of pain comes like a command and i can't stop myself from pushing.
My hands grab something and I hear a ripping sound .It takes all my energy from my body but eventually the numbing and the pain are so big... I push something and then everything dissappear . All that pressure I felt in my lower back is gone but everything I feel is pain.
I stay in place because i see white spots in front of my eyes but from somewhere i hear a powerful cry....
... WAAAAAAHHH WAAAHH...
I am confuse... Why i am hearing a baby cry? Why i am here? Where am I?
Now that the pain is getting better i look all around me... Wood, greased paper windows, no light except some candles, no electricity.? Outside i hear the thunderstorm and i see some lightning somewhere far away.
"Its a boy. Congratulations"
When i hear the old lady saying its a boy..... I look in her arms at a small bundle that moves and its in a blue material with a white tiger on.
She gives me the bundle and inside is a..... a baby boy.
Its so small and he has still blood on his skin. He is so wrincled and his hair is black.
I am amazed by the baby in my arms and i touch his small cheek and he turns his chubby mouth and starts to suckle on my finger.
"How...? Why did you give me this child?"
"Young Master? Are you fine?"
She comes closer and she gathers my wrist and she takes my pulse i think.
"You've lost too much blood but you are lucky that you survived. I dont know what happened in the middle of your labour because for some moments you didnt breathe. I think you and the baby are protected by the gods."
"Labour?"
"Young Master..... Are you okey?"
I look at this old lady and i look all around me and in a short moment i decided to fake amnesia...
"I.... I dont remember... Who am i?..... I am a man so why do you say that i gave birth?"
I try open my clothes but I can't move properly but I can feel my private organs and i breath relieved that they're still there..
"Im sorry to hear this but i dont know either. You've come a few hours ago, before the thunderstorm and you asked for help because your water broke. You didnt said your name or where you lived. You just paid me a few silver to help you."
"That doesnt explain why i gave birth. Men cant get pregnant.....do they? "
"If my memory does not let me down from the old age, i still know about gers."
" Gers? "
"You know.... A few selected males chosen by gods that can give birth.....?"
"Ummm no i dont know anything about this since when did men could get pregnant..... Can you explain to me?"
"Ahh let me get rid of the afterbirth and i will talk with you...."
She goes outside and i see her siluete trough the grease paper windows.
"Yoo old lady...., what i do with the baby?"
"Feed him."
"Feed him? How? With what?"
She was outside and i still could hear her when she said....
"Breastfeed."
.... Breastfeed?, but men doesnt have milk in our tits.....or...
I look down at my chest and i open a little bit and i look at my male tits. They are indeed red and a little swelled. I look at the little bundle in my arms and then at my chest and i touch my right nipple and i notice a white liquid.
Ahhh i have milk!!!!
Because of the milk, the bundle in my arms started to be restless and his small fists were in the air like he is indignant that i touched it....
I arrange the baby in my arms as best as I can, i make sure that his small head is supported and i bring him closer to my nipple.
.... Ohhh my fucking god...
His small mouth just latches to my nipple and weird sensations are coursing through me.
Its so intense and erotic at the same time. Not even when i had sex before, no one touched my nipples. I never knew that im so sensitive.
The old lady has come back with a bowl of clear congee that is hot.
"I see you figured out. I prepared some thin congee. Its the only thing you can eat for two days."
"Can i ask you something?"
"Please."
"When ive come to you did i tell you my name or from where i am?"
"I am afraid not. I already told you that you only asked for my help and you only had a small package with you."
"A package? Where?"
"its in the corner. I will bring it to you."
I look at the round bundle and i try to open with one hand but eventually the old lady helps me to open it.
Inside are just a few clothes, some of good quality but some are rags, i have a pouch with money and a few books, two brushes and ink.
I take one of the books and i open it..... The title is Fog and mountains. Colection of poetry by Yin Xue
Thats my name..... I look at the bold caracters and i read a few verses.
"What does it writes in the book?"
"You cant read?"
"No Young Master, this old lady is illiterate.I am just a lowly midwife and my parents were poor. Even if now i live in a big house with my husband, we were both poor and we didnt had education. You can read?
Maybe you are a scholar!"
"A scholar? You mean like a teacher?"
"If you can recognise the writing and you know numbers that means you are a scholar...."
"I think i am .... My name is written here.... Yin Xue. But that's it. I dont know other things."
"Ahhahh let this problems behind. You just gave birth and you will need strength. Your baby is asleep so you should burp him."
"Burp?"
"Let me show you, like this."
She took my baby in arms and she put him easy to her shoulder and the little pig burped.
"Like this. Now put him in the baschet next to you and you should eat a little and sleep after. We will talk tomorrow."
I take the bowl with thin congee and i eat a little but at the half of the bowl i realised i cant keep my eyes open. I put the bowl next to me and i lay down next to the baschet.
I cant belive it, but the pain was real. I just gave birth to a baby boy.
Is this a dream? I know i died because of a car accident, i felt the pain when i was hit so why i am here?
If this is heaven.... my wish came true, i have my own child, my baby... From now on nothing can separate from him. I will love him with all i have.
I extend my hand and i bring him closer to me ,the little bundle, my little miracle.... My huan