The darkness clung to me like a suffocating shroud as I drifted into sleep. I had hoped for sweet dreams, perhaps a glimpse of a brighter future, but instead, I found myself ensnared in a vivid nightmare that felt all too real.
I stood on the rooftop of my school, the chill of the night air biting into my skin. The stars shimmered above me, twinkling like the scattered remnants of my shattered dreams. I was alone, the laughter and chatter of my classmates fading away as I peered over the edge. It was a moment I had relived countless times, a moment that had left scars deeper than I cared to admit.
Suddenly, I felt a presence behind me. I turned, and there she was—Seira Fallon, the girl I used to be, looking back at me with hollow eyes filled with despair. I could feel the weight of her pain, the isolation she had endured.
"Help me," she whispered, her voice echoing in the stillness. "They don't understand. I just wanted to be free."
But freedom had come at a cost, and I could see the memories of betrayal flash across her face—friends who turned away, laughter that turned to jeers. In an instant, I was engulfed in a haze of anger and sorrow, reliving the moment when her world collapsed.
The rooftop was quiet, but I could hear the whispers of her past: the mocking voices, the betrayal, and the haunting silence that followed. I felt the sharp pain of loneliness cut through me, and just like that, the darkness closed in. The memories swirled, pulling me down into a chasm of despair. I gasped, the weight of it crushing me until I woke with a start, drenched in sweat.
The remnants of the dream clung to me like fog, leaving me unsettled. It wasn't just a nightmare; it was a memory—one that explained so much of the real Irina's behavior and, somehow, validated Ezra's resentment. She had been abandoned, hurt, and betrayed. I had lived in a shell of fear and anger, constantly second-guessing myself, terrified of the shadows lurking in the corners of my mind.
Tremors coursed through my body, and I glanced around my dimly lit room. The darkness felt like a prison, closing in on me, reminding me of the loneliness I had once felt. I couldn't bear the thought of being alone anymore. I needed air, needed to escape the memories pressing down on me.
I slipped out of bed and crept through the mansion, the floorboards creaking under my weight. The cool night air beckoned me as I slipped outside into the garden where I had fainted the day before. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silver glow over everything, illuminating the path ahead.
As I wandered among the flowers, the scent of damp earth filled my lungs, grounding me in the present. But even the beauty of the garden couldn't shake the remnants of my nightmare. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling vulnerable and exposed. The shadows danced around me, and a shiver ran down my spine, reminding me of that rooftop, of the betrayal I could never escape.
"Out for a midnight stroll, are we?" a familiar voice cut through the silence, pulling me from my thoughts. I turned to see Ezra standing there, his expression unreadable under the moonlight.
"What do you want, Ezra?" I shot back, trying to mask my unease. My heart raced, a mix of fear and an odd thrill that made me feel alive. "Here to lecture me about my lack of sleep again?"
He stepped closer, his gaze piercing. "Why are you really out here, Irina? You don't strike me as the type to enjoy the company of darkness."
I rolled my eyes, forcing a smirk. "Oh, you know me. Just trying to flirt with the shadows. They're much better company than you."
Ezra's eyes remained cold. "Flirting with shadows? That's a new low for you."
I couldn't help but laugh, the tension easing slightly. "Well, you're right about one thing. I'm not the type to flirt with boys, but you're an exception."
"An exception?" He raised an eyebrow, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm honored."
I took a deep breath, my heart racing at the unexpected banter. "Yes, well, you're my husband, after all. It's easy to flirt with someone like you." Well the truth is, he used to be one of the fictional character in my past life, easy for me to tease.
His expression shifted, a flicker of something I couldn't quite place crossing his face before he masked it with indifference. "You're not as charming as you think you are. It's pathetic, really."
I felt a pang of frustration. "And you're not as unapproachable as you pretend. You're just… cold."
He studied me for a moment, and I could almost see the gears turning in his mind. "Maybe I have my reasons for being cold. Or maybe you just don't want to hear the truth."
"What truth?" I challenged, stepping closer. "That I'm just some girl who doesn't belong? That I'm a disappointment?"
His gaze hardened, but there was a flicker of something else—pain? Regret? "You don't know what you're talking about."
"Then tell me!" I pressed, feeling a rush of courage. "Tell me why you hate me so much. I can take it."
He exhaled sharply, and for a moment, I saw the boy beneath the armor—the hurt and confusion swirling in his eyes. "You don't get it. You might be trying to change, but you're still the same person who hurt people, who used them. You'll always be that girl to me."
His words hit me like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, I was speechless. I felt the walls around my heart crumbling, exposing the vulnerability I had tried to hide. "I'm not her anymore, Ezra," I whispered, my voice trembling. "I want to change. I want to be better. I'm scared, but I'm trying."
He scoffed, but I could see the conflict in his eyes. "Trying doesn't erase the past."
"Then let me show you," I replied, desperation seeping into my voice. "Let me prove it to you that I can be different. Give me a chance."
The tension hung thick in the air, and for a moment, it felt like the world had fallen away, leaving just the two of us under the moonlight. But Ezra's cold facade quickly returned, and he stepped back, breaking the connection between us.
"Don't mistake my indifference for interest," he said, his voice low and steady. "You have a long way to go before I'll ever believe anything you say."
I felt my heart sink, but I refused to let him see my defeat. "Fine. Just know I'm not giving up. You can't keep me in the dark forever."
With that, he turned and walked away, the shadows swallowing him whole. I stood there, the weight of his words pressing down on me.