After lunch, the classroom settled into a dull hum of chatter and the rustling of papers. I sat at my desk, glancing over at Seira, who was sitting quietly beside me. She didn't even look my way, her attention focused entirely on her notebook. I felt a pang of frustration mixed with something else—something I couldn't quite place.
"Hey," I tried, my voice tentative as I searched for the right words. "Did you—"
But she ignored me, her pen scratching against the page as if I didn't even exist. I opened my mouth to say something else, but the words caught in my throat. Why was she being like this? My heart raced, the urge to connect with her battling against the growing frustration.
Then, in a moment of impulse, I blurted out, "I had broken up with Melly."
She looked up at me, surprise etched across her features. The brief spark of hope in her eyes quickly faded, replaced by a guarded expression.
"Don't get the wrong idea," I added quickly. "I didn't do this for you."
Seira's brows furrowed slightly, and for a moment, I thought I caught a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "So I can slap Melly and Sofea, then?" she asked, her tone light yet pointed.
I shook my head. "You don't have to do that."
Inside, I was grappling with the weight of my decision. I hadn't ended things with Melly because of Seira—not directly, at least. It was more complicated than that. Melly was manipulative and selfish, and I couldn't allow her toxicity to drag down my life any longer. I wanted to save my parents and Seira, and I knew that breaking ties with Melly was a necessary step. To me, she was nothing compared to the people I cared about.
As I settled into my thoughts, a wave of frustration washed over me. I wanted to gain Seira's trust, to prove to her that I could be different, that I wasn't the same person I used to be. But she didn't trust me yet, and I couldn't blame her. I was lost in the whirlwind of my emotions, anger boiling beneath the surface as I pondered who the real killer was—the one responsible for the chaos in our lives.
The killer had taken lives without mercy, targeting those under eighteen, yet they had somehow managed to snuff out my parents' lives, who were well past that age. It didn't make any sense. The anger twisted in my gut, raw and unforgiving.
I turned my gaze to Seira, who had succumbed to the lull of the lesson, her head resting on her arms as she slept peacefully. I couldn't help but watch her, my feelings swirling in confusion. I had been mean to her in the past, letting the opinions of others dictate how I treated her.
Why had I ever acted that way? She didn't deserve it. The warmth in her features, the way her eyelashes fluttered slightly with each breath, made me question everything I had thought.
As I continued to observe her sleeping face, I found myself lost in a thought spiral. I wonder how she look like if she didn't get killed and grow up ? Would her hair grow long? Would she keep those bangs? Would she have a bright future ahead of her? All these questions raced through my mind as I tried to picture her beyond this moment, beyond the chaos that surrounded us.
Seira wasn't traditionally beautiful—not like Melly or Sofea—but as I looked at her, something shifted. She seemed pretty to me in this moment, and I was baffled by the realization. What was happening to me? I was supposed to be focused on saving her, not caught up in observing her like some lovesick fool.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I had to stay focused on the bigger picture. Protecting her was my priority, but these feelings were complicating everything. I could feel a mix of determination and confusion raging inside me, each competing for dominance.
As the lesson dragged on, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was just the beginning of something much deeper, a connection I didn't fully understand yet. I just hoped that when this storm passed, I would still have the chance to truly be there for her, to earn her trust.
But for now, I was lost in the chaos of my thoughts, grappling with the implications of my decisions and the reality of the world we were in.