She followed him out to the waiting carriage; the snow was falling a little heavier now but had yet to become an inconvenience. He helped her in while she held her dress out of the way, and he climbed in after her.
"Grandfather's not coming?" She asked.
"No. He feels he's too old for this."
"Too old for what exactly?"
He didn't answer, his eyes drifting outside the window instead. They rode in silence while she just tried to keep her curiosity in check.
They left the limits of the town riding a good half hour out of it. Sun and the boys hadn't been out this far this way. Mostly because they were on foot.
Eventually they pulled to a stop, and Kalys got out. Ever the gentleman, he offered his hand to her. Outside of the carriage it was a bit nippy now. While they had a higher tolerance to cold, they still felt it if it got cold enough. The carriage driver handed Kalys an oil lantern, and with that, he offered his arm to her; she took it, and they started their trek through the snow. Hidden beneath her dress, she'd been wearing boots all night anyway, so at least it made the journey easier. There was no path through the forest, but Kalys seemed to know where he was going. At one point, she slipped on the snow, and Kalys reacted quickly to keep her from falling on her arse.
"Thanks," she muttered, a little embarrassed.
"We're nearly there."
After a few minutes they cleared the tree line, a huge frozen lake before them.
He crouched down beside a ring of rocks, and with a gesture, the snow melted and the water leeched from the ground beneath. He grabbed some sticks and branches, sucking the water from them as well before he cast fire, setting them alight in the stone circle. In seconds they had a warm, roaring fire. His control over the water and his casting were something she was immediately envious of.
He turned to the lake's edge, dropping to one knee and touching the ice. From his hand, the ice melted near instantaneously. He didn't unfreeze the entire lake, just a large area ahead of them. She may have just figured out where this was going.
"I can't swim," she told him hesitantly.
"Can you hold your breath?"
She nodded.
"I won't let you drown," he told her, unbuttoning his frock coat. "And we won't go deep."
So she was getting into the water then. She reached behind her and unzipped her dress. It was far too heavy to be getting into the water with, but she had a jump on underneath; it was almost a dress on its own, just shorter and lighter and with far fewer layers. She pulled off her boots and stockings, setting them down beside Kalys's pile of clothes. He stripped down to his undershirt and pants. It was strange seeing him so undressed, especially strange to see him barefoot. Honestly, it would not have surprised her to learn he had been born with boots on.
"Why are we doing this?" She asked as she followed him right to the water's edge.
"It's something we've always done. My father shared this with me, who shared it with our grandfather, who shared it with his own father."
"No mothers?" She asked wryly.
"Some of them practice it in our extended family. But I was more referring to our direct line, which is predominantly men."
"You're not going to wait until you have a son of your own?"
"If you'd grown up here, father would have made you part of this."
"Can I ask... what happened to him?" She asked softly.
She knew he had been killed in action, but she wouldn't mind some specifics.
She had seen his portrait in a few places around the mansion: one alone, one with a much younger Kalys, and another with Jinn and Kalys. The resemblance between the three of them was staggering, but there was definitely something softer to their father's countenance. Part of her wished she could have known him, even if it was briefly.
"He was killed in an explosion while on assignment out near the borderlands. He had only recently been made Commander of the Seventh and led an operation to the South alongside Commander Dyne. They were evacuating civilians on the trains when one of them exploded; father was on it at the time."
His tone was flat and unaffected; she doubted that was how he really felt about it, though.
"How old were you?"
"Nine," he replied quietly.
That was so young to have lost his last remaining parent. She knew his mother had died when he was young, some years before his father; he didn't talk about her at all, but Sun had seen a portrait of her and a couple of tintypes in Kalys's study.
"You became clan head so young?"
"In title mostly, Grandfather did most of the work while he taught me what to do."
Still, nine was young to have to come into the head of the family. Sun would have been an infant back then, if she had been born at all. She wondered if Nero had known she existed, he might have been killed before he ever knew her mother was pregnant. Could that have been why she ended up in the slums? He died; her mother had nowhere to go...
Kalys started walking into the lake, she was sure she heard him let out a gasp he tried to suppress once he touched that icy water. She followed him in, feeling the breath being sucked out of her at the cold. He went in quicker than she did, and there was some distance between them when he turned around to check on her. He waited for her, and once she caught up, the water came up to her chest but a fair bit lower on Kalys, given their height difference.
He held out his hands to her, and she put her own in them.
"Take a deep breath," he told her.
They both did, and then they ducked under. The cold was almost paralysing and she ended up letting some of her oxygen escape. Kalys's hands were warm around her own, the only source of warmth in the cold.
Under the water she could hear something strange—the Traverse but twice over, the cracking and the whistling. She pushed off the ground and shot back out of the water, Kalys following after her.
"What is it?" He asked.
"What's that sound? Under the water? The whistles and the cracks."
"It's the ice, forming, breaking... shifting. Father would say ice made its own song," he explained.
She was breathing quickly, mostly from the cold, partly from her surprise.
"Did it frighten you?" He asked, almost hesitantly, like he really hoped that wasn't the case. Whether it was because he didn't want to have to try and comfort her or not, she didn't know.
She shook her head. "That's what the Traverse sounds like. Exactly it."
His brow furrowed ever so slightly. "This is what you hear all winter?"
She nodded. "Minus the voices."
Taking another breath, she dropped back under, feeling Kalys do the same. Under the water she didn't hear the voices, just the water in her ears and the ice. There was a peaceful quality to it, hearing it while actually under the water. It felt more like it belonged. And with her body starting to go numb, it almost felt like she didn't really exist. She felt unburdened and detached; her chest felt lighter, and her head was foggy. It certainly wasn't unpleasant...
She felt Kalys move; he surfaced. She tried to let him go so he wouldn't pull her up with him; she wasn't ready to leave yet, but he held on tighter and dragged her up.
Out of the water, it was like she slammed back into herself, and her teeth started chattering. He gave her a questioning look, probably because she'd tried to stay under.
"We're tolerant of the cold, not immune to it," he warned. "Come on."
Kalys led her out of the water and back towards the fire, lost in thought. It had always been tradition to take a plunge in polar waters midwinter. It was supposed to be invigorating, a way to clear the head and fortify oneself for the year to come. Immersing oneself in the ice-cold waters, surrounded by their element—brief as it was—was supposed to be almost meditative.
It was mildly interesting that the sound of the Traverse was ice song. It also disturbed him that Sun hadn't wanted to come back up; they had been under a fair while by that point, even his lungs were starting to burn.
"Why did you try to stay under?" He asked, watching her closely for any sign of deceit.
It was only now, as the water barely came to their ankles, that he realised the inappropriateness of the situation. Her white jump was see-through from the water and clinging to her body in such a way that left nothing to the imagination. He fixed his gaze on her face, her plump lips turning blue from the cold, and tamped down on the faint wisps of desire he felt stirring within. As much as it pained him, it was not the first time he'd felt this way over her. It was one of the reasons he took so much offense to the rumours of incest. A part of him worried there might be merit to them.
"I don't know," she said, her eyes not meeting his.
"You should know better than to lie to me by now," he said, picking up her dress and handing it to her before he started dressing himself.
He heard her sigh heavily. "I liked it down there. It felt like... belonging. I don't belong in the Traverse because I'm alive, and it doesn't—"
Another sigh from her, and the rustling of her clothing. It didn't appear she was going to finish that sentence.
"It doesn't what?" He pressed.
"It doesn't always feel like I belong here either," she muttered it through gritted teeth, like she was annoyed at having to tell him.
"In the manor?" He asked, frowning down at her. She still wouldn't meet his eyes.
"On this side of the veil," she admitted.
It felt as if an icy shard pierced his chest at her words. He wasn't one for regrets, but how he wished he could speak with his father, wished he'd thought to ask more questions about it all growing up. It was his job to lead, to guide, and to protect his family. He didn't know what to do with her. He didn't think this was a mere case of juvenile angst.
"You belong here," he told her, draping his frock coat over her shoulders for a bit of warmth.
Now he couldn't help but wonder if the icy plunge into the glacial waters wasn't borne from one of their ancestors like her, one who carried the eye, who heard the Traverse, who felt out of place on both sides of the divide, and had found peace and belonging in the cold, dark, and quiet.
The thought unnerved him.