🎶 He came to me like a song
Like one I knew all along
and daddy, he got a hold of me
I know you think that it's wrong 🎶
- Tori Kelly -
***
#Jean's POV
I guess life is always like this.
You will always find yourself caught in an unexpected whirlwind when you least expect it.
I wish this was a movie where I could put a pause and search for the right answer. Yet, when I look at his blue eyes, I wish for the opposite.
I keep telling myself ever since we're inside the car that this is real and that he is right beside me. His warm, calloused hands are holding my hand tightly. His musky smell from the jacket he puts around me warms my body and my heart.
And now his eyes are calling me closer; they speak a language that I wish to learn.
I don't know who took the first step, but as I feel his minty breath fanning my face, I know we're closer than ever. And yet I can't take my eyes off of his captivating eyes. I'm not even sure if I want to.
His eyes flickered to my lips, and my breath stuck. I can see his eyes turning a shade darker and his breath getting heavier.
Something shifts between us.
The silence is killing me, but I can't even utter a single word to answer him.
The thick tension between us is so electrifying, it burns my skin hotter and my throat's getting dry. I lick my lips to moisten them a bit, but it seems that Luke takes it as an encouragement, maybe I am, because not a second later he's dropping his head lower.
We're only one breath away.
I can feel my heart beat faster as I wait for his next moves. My eyes drop on his lips with an anxious mind.
I don't know if this is the right thing to do on our first meeting, but I'm sure as hell want this. I want to feel his lips on my lips.
As if he can read my mind, he pulls me flush to him, and my mind turns blank for a second. I can feel the breath leaving me in a soft gasp. And I find myself throwing the caution out of the window.
I want you. I'm pretty sure that's what my eyes are telling him through our locked gazes.
He takes the last dip to put his lips on mine in one swift move.
I close my eyes and surrender myself to the feeling he brings to me.
Sparks flew all over me the instant our lips touched. They pressed against each other softly.
There's no rush. It's like he wants to take his time to taste and to feel our small connection, and I'm melted on the inside. My legs tremble weakly, and I don't know where to put my hands. I'd probably drop down if he didn't hold me tight.
Soft, warm lips that taste like mint with a hint of alcohol.
So sweet and so addictive. I feel like I'll be addicted to these feelings. To him.
Good God, this creature you created is just too bad for me, but I still want him.
Our lips separated for a milimeter, and I sigh at the loss of his lips on mine. Blood rushes to my head, and I blush at my greediness.
I dare a peek at him only to see a playful smirk plastered on his lips, and I feel my face blush harder.
Do I look funny right now?
Or maybe I look naive and inexperienced; he found it funny?
He indeed has more experience than me. Although his long list of scandals in the news is a bit doubtful, the fact that girls throw themselves at him is obviously true.
I mean, look at me. I'm coming here willingly, and I let him kiss me on our first meet. I even want him to kiss me. Maybe I'm not so much different from other girls like I thought I was.
The thought put a halt on my raging heart like a rude wake-up call. What have I turned into?
What are you doing to me, Luke?
This is embarrassing and getting a little bit awkward. I like the feeling of his closeness, yet I can't help but feel like I need to run away, just to put a little distance between us. A useless thought indeed, knowing that I came here with my own two feet, but I'm afraid that I will be hurt.
My expectation is getting higher the longer I'm staying closer to him, and I don't think Luke has the same train of thought with me.
What are you doing with me, Luke? What's the purpose of all of this?
I want to ask him, but I'm too afraid to hear the answer.
Luke tugs at my hand, and I realize that I've already taken a few steps away from him.
"Jeanette, look at me." He urges me softly, and I find myself looking up at him in dread.
"What's wrong?" He's looking at me with worry, and I feel the resolution in me chip away bit by bit.
"I... I just..." I just don't know what we are doing. I just don't want to get hurt.
He cups my face gently and searches my eyes with fervor, urging me to speak my mind. but I cannot find the courage to ask him what I truly want to know.
This is so confusing. It's too complicated.
"Hey, what's wrong, Jeanette?" He's calling me softly, and yet I choose to keep silent.
Is there even a use to this? I promise myself that I'd have fun tonight, but I'm back to square one because I'm overthinking and I'm too afraid to take a step forward.
Am I allowed to? Dare I take a step towards you, Luke?
Luke draws his hands back and looks a bit hesitant.
"I'm sorry, am I too fast? Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"No!" I blurt out loud and then clam my mouth in embarrassment.
Luke chuckles with a joyous look in his eyes. He looks relieved to hear my answer.
"That's good to hear. I don't know what I'll do if you feel that way, Jeanette."
His hand moves slowly to grasp my hand, and I sigh inwardly at the sweet gesture.
"...Why?"