"He is innocent."
I heard her talking to the principal, and with my wounded back to her, holding my shirt in my hand, I smirked where she wouldn't ever be able to see it.
Being spot on with my assessment of a person never felt so satisfactorily.
I joined her in lying, and so we lied together, placating the old man, fighting together as the poor stepmother and son, against the grisly father that would abuse its poor little boy. The poor child who would never set another person on fire, yearning to repeat the deed.
For Lesly to not get slapped again by someone for my sake, I told the principal that I wanted to be present if a new pair of angry parents showed up, and we went on our way, or so I thought.
Instead, there was the girl I chocked.... Amanda was her name. Darkly, I remembered someone yelling at me to stop punching the student not long ago, someone other than Lesly.
I had already smacked him so tenderly; there was no reason for Amanda to make such a fuss. Additionally, Lesly felt uncomfortable with her; the seldom received contact was broken because of her appearing and asking dumb questions.
The crow said please so politely to me, so I could only head to her request. She walked back to the secretary, and while I turned my head to look after her, Amanda snorted, apparently tired of living,
"Can you make it any more obvious?" She hissed at me.
Ah. Her theory, I remember. Turning back, I wanted for her to drop that topic.
"You are wrong. It's not like that."
It's much more complicated. Willingly seeking entrapment to compensate and understand the reasons for a destroyed childhood isn't that easily explained. And even if it were, why would I explain it to her?
"You are obsessed with her." She said quietly before going silent again when Lesly came out and directly left.
Watching her leave, I was curious where she was going, taking the stairs up and not down to the sports hall.
However, there was a promise I had to uphold, when I was so politely pleaded with already. I walked to the infirmary, Amanda following me, apparently forgetting our little get-together in the toilet and how hot the flame of my lighter had felt.
I opened the door of the infirmary and said slightly louder,
"Sorry for beating you up." Before closing the door again. No idea if the correct student heard it or was even still in there, but I had done what I had to do.
Turning around and walking in the direction Lesly had left, Amanda still walked beside me. Coming to a halt, I thought I couldn't directly go violent once again, so I finally answered her.
"I may be obsessed, but I am not in love with her." I fixated Amanda in a silent threat.
Amanda crossed her arms; all the fake worry she maybe believed to have felt was wiped away from her face, as she, high and mightily, slapped me, punched me, nearly bringing me down, with a simple question.
"What's the difference?"
I froze for a few moments, not thinking about anything. Then I laughed at her and turned to go up to Lesly, guessing that she was going to the rooftop floor because other than to look for another teacher managing a club, I had no idea what she would do elsewhere.
Finding her, I watched the math teacher who teaches my math class as well. Watching as his eyes followed Lesly while seemingly being occupied with explaining and disrupting papers.
Soon after, the math teacher spotted me, we were ready to leave, but not before she wrote down her number for him.
I followed her and went down, and I discovered this little dark room that seemed to entail a little world on its own.
A world of the sea, the salty smell and the gulls crying in the background, along with the calming and agitating waves that swept the sand away, coming closer and closer, touching and teasing my toes. I followed its rhythm—the teasing, not the touching—as I made promises and enticed her.
Come and embrace me;
Save me;
Take me deep down to the cold, dark bottom of the ocean, where you and I can remain on our own.
And because the little crow is not only polite, the little crow also protects what crawls under her wings—no matter how ugly it is, it agreed.
So willingly taking my baits, like she had done before, giving me time to dwell in this obsession, reenacting what I never wanted to reenact but only understand, pulling me not only closer, pulling me deeper, deep inside, where the craze of the surface wouldn't be able to reach me.
***********************
Thomas POV
The black-eyed kid came back, and only then did I realize that he would stay here another year, but for them to get to know each other wouldn't do harm either, or would it?
I told the Dunken Family to get her to marry me, and while observing, I waited.
Then she was before me.
Would she remember me?
Would she stare at me like back then?
But she was nothing like the little kid, not so endearing.
Instead, not having any wits or caution, nearly costing me all my nerves. Not even reading contracts, how dumb. Letting herself get blackmailed with a dead, lifeless object, how stupid. Letting herself get baited with money, how greedy. Wanting a dead object to live with us and stealing the cheapest pen while being disrespectful, how...daring.
Your daughter or niece is neither like you nor like Liliana, she is not like anyone I have ever met before.
Our first night would surely be what interests you, wouldn't it? It will remain a secret. But what I can tell you is, I woke up with her in my arms, and for a brief moment, I thought it was you.
For a brief moment, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest.
In fear, in terror, in bliss.
But then, I remembered what I had done—out of curiosity, out of spite, out of self-hatred. I wanted to see someone who didn't drown in the pain, did not pass it along, but remained steadfast in its being.
And when this being was in my arms, was my wife, was by my side, I suddenly asked myself if it wouldn't be so bad to not observe, not wait until she showed me that she was exactly like myself.
But just live in a marriage, as a man and a woman. Living another lie on top of the ones you and Liliana fed me—the ones I fed to others and the ones I served myself the most of all.