"That shouldn't be possible. The fire happened 37 years ago. Wasn't your father around three years old back then?"
When I asked that, Jude's eyes, which had landed on the picture again, whipped back to me. His smile had taken on a mocking note,
"He would have been eight years old back then."
I looked at Jude in shock. How come his father was forty-five? Even with a few light creases, he really didn't look that way.
"Stunned because he seems younger to you?" Jude tilted his head; the yearbook in his hand had been forgotten, and the air in the room was heating up, scarily so.
"No." I shook my head, a bit intimidated.
"But how come you think it was him?"
Jude didn't answer a for a long time, just staring at me. The moment I wanted to give up on a conversation with a psycho and leave, he answered, his eyes turning back to the picture again.
"There is a kid mentioned in the campus legend, which would match his age back then. But more than that, his reaction to a fire in my childhood was overemotional, peculiar."
Jude snapped the yearbook shut and glanced at the year that stood on the cover. Then he came closer and put it back on the bookshelf, wrapping me with his body. Now, with the strange atmosphere from before, it was unnerving to have him so near. But before I could voice out the topic of giving me space again, he stepped back, empty-handed; the book had been put back.
Without looking back, Jude turned,
"I'm going to change my clothes, let's meet at the car."
I marveled at my stepson's proficiency at dancing on the line that was not to cross. Most of the time, he backed up too fast for me to say anything.
I walked back to the car, asking myself what he meant with the statement that I wouldn't look like Liliana. If her pictures were in color, even I wouldn't be able to tell if the picture didn't show myself. Jude shouldn't be that blind as to not see it.
Jude soon followed, with his clothes changed. The drive was silent, and I couldn't even guess what he was thinking about.
Coming to the house, there was no further communication, and I had the feeling that Jude was either thinking about what he had seen, or he was annoyed with me.
Or....his obsession had really shifted back to the original, and he would concentrate on her in the future.
Thinking about that possibility was a foreign feeling. Everyone who got a ton of attention and then would possibly get it taken away would be bewildered, but if he really chose to let go of me, it would mean I could leave on the school trip. I resolved to wait and see.
After a shower and wearing home wear, I got back down for dinner. And there I saw Thomas again, the first time since he had punished Jude, at least since I heard him doing so. I had no idea where he was over the weekend, but most likely it was for the best this way.
Clothed in a dark casual suit, he sat at the head of the table, his light eyes finding me the moment I had entered.
I nodded at him and took a seat by his side. Jude wasn't present just yet, and Thomas was busy with his phone. So I just waited, being reminded of my first dinner here.
"How are you?" Thomas suddenly asked me. Light-brown eyes surveyed me, not showing any expression.
"I'm good." I nodded at him.
There was a pause; it seemed that Thomas was equally helpless to find a topic to talk about with his wife.
"Tomorrow, there is a business meeting; I need you to accompany me." Thomas finally said, and I nodded woodenly. This time, Jude wouldn't come with us, I presume. Maybe if Thomas was drunk, he would babble about Liliana. But when he usually lost consciousness while sleeping, he would harass me, so it was better to hope he would remain sober.
Additionally, I would have to be cautious; the best would be to have a weapon on me.
Jude finally came, and we ate in silence, the food again losing its taste. After a year of eating here, I surely won't be able to distinguish between sugar and salt.
After dinner, I went to my treasures and stored away the little bowl after washing it again. I put the bowl in the middle, placed the napkin inside, and placed the marble on top. Now it was secure enough.
Happy, I went to my cat and stroked through the fur. It bit me a few times, even got me bleeding, but the wounds it made would heal fast, so I didn't care.
Laying in bed, this time as well, I feigned sleep, yet, the routine was broken.
Usually, when Thomas came, he would shower himself, go to bed and sleep. This time, he sat for a long time by my side, and I felt his gaze, but then, I could have been stared at into madness since coming here, so maybe I just constantly felt as if eyes were on me.
However, what I definitely did not imagine, was the feathery touch on my lips.
*******************
I have found you. Finally, finally, I found you. But it seemed like I was too late. I thought I would be devastated seeing you like this, but instead I was relieved to have you in my gasp again.
Your final resting place will be with me, under me, in my house, forever by my side.
Is it now time to mend my relationship with you? I often went down and talked to you.
But you never answered.
When I see what is left of you, I think of the child again. She should, in the meantime, have grown to be as beautiful as you were back then.
If she survived, had she done the same as I had done? Has she, meanwhile, children of her own? Is she like me, passing down the pain? I want to know. But I can still not face her possible death.
I can't face myself and my actions for now.
Anyway, now that you are here, I feel like I am not alone anymore.