The girl beside me talked, and I didn't listen, as I just continued to watch, seeing a blonde woman in gold arrive. Lesly's expression made me curious, and I left the girl standing and walked to the other side of the hall, hiding behind a stone pillar, near enough to watch unhindered.
And I saw Lesly upset, even going as far as speaking to my father with a disgusted look. I couldn't hear what was being said as my hand sneaked into my empty pocket, where there was no lighter I could clutch. My father wouldn't act out in front of so many people, but I was still relieved when I saw no anger on his face; instead, he even left the place.
Watching the two women being left alone; their body language revealed that they were exchanging jabs, and it was clear that Lesly had won.
In broad daylight, I saw the little crow pecking the woman, robbing her of all her gold. My lips curled up as I saw the blonde putting her jewelry in Lesly's hands, the crow pocketed them in satisfaction.
I really wanted to; I needed to know what they were talking about.
The girl from before appeared to have followed me, tapping my shoulder. As I turned to tell her off, I saw the brunette standing a few steps away, eying me. I had never expected her to show up here, and I couldn't find a reason she would. My eyes found her throat, and she had chosen a dress with a high color.
While Lesly's reason for such a choice was my father's unwanted advances, Brunette's reason should be me, and the strangle marks I had left with her. A befitting present ending our short entanglement.
She saw where my gaze had landed, and I thought I could see her tremble, amusing me. Having had enough from her, I wanted to turn back to Lesly when Brunette came towards me.
Now, I was in the presence of two females that I wanted to see cry and scream, not in a sexual way, but in a practical sense.
"Who are you?" Brunette asked the girl beside me.
"And who are you?" The girl answered. They seemed to view each other as rivals, but they were only competing over who would be my first victim if this continued any further.
"Amanda. I have to talk to Jude, go away." When Brunette said her name, her eyes found me; apparently, she had introduced herself intending to let me know her name. And she succeeded, but I couldn't guarantee that she wouldn't go back to 'brunette' in a few hours, 'the one I chocked until she cried', or 'the pest that had dared to confront my stepmother.'
"What if I say no?" The girl asked Amanda, and I turned my head away in disinterest.
I saw my father coming back to his wife's side and ushering the blonde woman with her naked ears, hands and neck, as well as her husband, away, only for the next few people to come forward, falsely hoping to leave a lasting impression on my father.
"Jude. I know now. She is your stepmother." Amanda ignored the girl that didn't want to leave and addressed me.
"So?" Even if my teacher is my stepmother, what can you do about it?
Amanda seemed sure that I wouldn't harm her in this place filled with people, her tone changing,
"Don't you see how sick it is to crush on your father's woman?"
I froze for a brief moment,
"Don't you see how sick it is to come to such a conclusion?" I asked her leisurely.
Furthermore, I would never have any sexual thoughts about my stepmother and never touch the woman of my father, the one he had laid his hands on, even if they hadn't done it, he had defiled her by marrying her and putting that damn mark on her.
The obsession I had let myself fall into was only an attempt to retrace my father's actions of the past and present. To see what the stand-in had on her body and mind—likewise, inevitably, the original had on her as well—that made her so special to entrap my father through ought decades.
And I succeeded, I was beginning to understand, to feel entrapped myself. Mostly, because I hadn't expected a polite little crow to hide under this deadly beautiful appearance, but also because she cooperated so willingly with my search for answers, at the same time giving me new riddles to solve while so easily saving me from myself.
But it seemed that my actions had been misunderstood. I didn't want to take the place of my father – never would I want to end up in his place. I just want to understand.
Additionally, this lurking dark agitation, similar to the flames calling and tempting me, could never be referred to as 'love'.
Amanda stared at me, her eyes widening in disbelief, mockery, and pain, a stark contrast to the infatuation and terror of yesterday.
"The way you look at her...." She stopped before asking me as if I were a madman,
"You really are not aware?"
"Haaa." I sighed in annoyance, not willing to explain myself. That was the point where the invisible girl beside me proved at least a bit of use, stepping before me like some kind of laughable knight.
"You are crazy! How would you even come up with something so dirty?" She shot in exasperation.
'Something so dirty' The words made me repeat them soundlessly, my agitation striking, urging me to shut her mouth.
"How sick! That is his stepmother and elder!" The girl accusingly pointed at Amanda, her voice rising, but not enough to overtone the hum of the conversations in the hall.
'How sick' My lips moved again to the words I didn't speak out. It was the truth. How sick would that be?
'Stepmother and elder' I wanted to feel the weight of my lighter in my hand.
"Who would even want to share a woman with his father? Disgusting."
My hand reached for the girl's hair as I grabbed it and yanked her to me with force. She gasped as she was pressed with her back to my chest, her neck baring before me.
First she gasped in shock, fear and pain, before she nervously batted her wet eyes at me.
Not lessening my hold, I snarled in her ear what every fiber of my body wished for,
"Can you just shut the fuck up?"