Today, because I was stressed out, my loot was bigger than it normally would be. However, everything was stored securely in my bag so that the little plates wouldn't produce a sound. And my favorite, the marble, was still in my bra so that I wouldn't lose it.
I hadn't planned to tell Jude in such a brash way to leave me alone, but the situation overwhelmed me, and it was for the best anyway. Unsure if he would follow my wish, I at least never thought to find him sitting in the car again at the end of the school day.
Surprised, I stood by the open door and looked at the long legs that were stretched out in the usual spacey car.
Now, I couldn't just slam the door shut and turn away, so I took a seat while feeling nervous. Smelling his aftershave put me on edge further, and I reached in my bag to fiddle with one of the two little plates, naturally, without taking it out.
The car started to drive, and the silence was deafening enough to make my ears ring. I would have nagged the driver with questions, but with Jude beside me and the driver-partition up, I chose to postpone that.
Peeking at Jude, I saw him leisurely sitting, having his arms crossed, and holding his biceps the same way he did when staring at me on the first night. He was watching the scenery outside the window, so I chose to follow suit, turning away from him.
His actions on my first day of arrival had already been crazy. I was right to ask him to stay away; I should have already done so when we were alone at breakfast in the morning. What was he even trying to archive? Some bizarre mother-son relationship?
Oh, right. He should have lost his mother not long ago... Now I feel kind of bad.
Although I couldn't comprehend how it felt to lose a parent, my grandmother was someone I loved dearly and who died on me. However, when she passed away, I was glad for it to finally be over—a whole new form of liberation. While hating myself for that and doubting if my feelings for her had ever been genuine, I would nevertheless think about her every day. She was a good grandma, and I miss how she was before everything went down the drain.
"We have arrived, once again." The déjà vu hit me hard, and it worsened when my body reacted the same as it did this morning, crashing in the window in an attempt to bring distance between us—that voice and the abyss-like eyes that hovered close to me.
Yet, this time my head didn't hit the glass; instead, I had maneuvered myself in the palm of Jude's hand, which shielded me from pain. Looking at him, I only now noticed that his arm had snaked around me at some point, with the back of his hand against the window, readily waiting for me.
"See? I caught you." His breath fawned my face, my mind went blank, my ears itchy, and the back of my head that was still covered with his hand heated up. He showed no intention to back up, even as the situation turned peculiar. Instead, his black eyes burrowed into mine, and I felt shackled in my seat, unable to move or think.
The next moment, my door was opened, and when that happened, Jude's arm instantly returned to his side, finally giving me free and bringing me much-needed space.
The driver was the one who interrupted the scene, probably thinking the delay in exiting the car was caused by my refusal to open the door myself - he couldn't be more wrong.
However, despite my mind being in a daze, I could still come to a conclusion. The speed of Jude's retreat proved that he was somehow aware that the actions and closeness he displayed were unsuitable enough to prevent others from witnessing them. Inside the car, the partition had been up the moment he started taking the car with me, so we had been practically alone.
What 'the poor boy wants a mother-son relationship'? What, 'the poor boy had only just lost his mother'? That was clearly all bullshit.
Finding myself in my bedroom again, I forced the cat out from under the bed for a round of cuddling on the bed, only now registering that there was an automatic food spender in the room, and leaning to the side to glimpse in the bathroom, I even saw a cat toilet. That got me happy again, as my cat's wellbeing was ensured.
Taking the marble out of my bra, I held it in the air and watched the light dancing in it. Maybe it was a bit more expensive than I thought? I hoped there would be no consequences when the student discovered one missing. But now that it was already mine, there was no giving back. It was part of my treasure.
Regarding the stuff from my old apartment that should have arrived together with my cat, it was still missing, and I was too intimidated to ask for it. I can't say that it didn't pain me to think about losing them, but my steadily growing memories placated me immensely.