Game
Thoughts
"Talking"
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"I can't believe I'm actually here," Naruto sighed, standing in an 'observer' room. The room was filled with occupants that would've made any other supernatural being sweat in fear, but for Naruto, it was just a group of his friends.
"It will begin in 2 minutes, Nar- ahem, Kami-sama," Grayfia said, straightening her back. She wasn't here for personal reasons, as she was the acting referee for the rating game.
"We'll be cheering you on, Naruto-chan!" Rias cheered, sitting on a long couch behind him. It was a really long couch, as it fit both her, her entire peerage, along with numerous other spectators. She was covered head to toe in 'Youkai God' merch, which was just various pieces of clothing and flags that had his face on it.
"This will be great for manga sales," Yasaka grinned, a slightly greedy glint in her eye as she spoke with the women sitting next to her, "The whole supernatural world will be watching!"
"How many viewers is it at, Grayfia?" Venelana asked, sitting in between Yasaka and Katerea on the couch.
"100 million and rising, Venelana-sama," Grayfia answered as she glanced at the giant white magic circle floating next to her. Naruto knew that there would be a lot of people watching, as there were hundreds of other 'observer' rooms for paying customers, but he hadn't realized his rating game was also going to be streamed on the devilnet.
"I really don't want to do this," Naruto sighed, pinching the bridge between his nose.
[Multiple Beings] have been affected by your [LEGENDARY] [Confusion] debuff!
"I'm sorry, Kami-sama," Grayfia said, her face looking slightly concerned, "I know how much you hate waiting, so I'll push it forward! Instead of in one minute, the rating game will start now!"
"That wasn't what I was talking abou-" Naruto didn't get to finish talking as a magic circle appeared under him. A moment later he was standing in the middle of the Occult Research Clubroom.
Or, what looked to be the Occult Research Clubroom, but was really a recreated magical space that looked exactly like Kuoh Academy. This had originally been the battleground chosen by Rias to give her an edge against Riser, but now it served as the battleground between Naruto and Riser's peerage.
He'd tried to get it changed to literally anywhere else, as he wasn't a huge fan of any type of schooling, but apparently, that would be 'too expensive' according to Lady Phenex.
Whatever, let's get this over with.
Naruto opened the clubroom door, making his way down the stairs when a voice echoed onto the battlefield. A huge white circle formed in the air, a voice coming from it,
"The rating game between the Youkai God and Riser Phenex will now begin. I am Grayfia Lucifuge, and I will be serving as the referee for this battle. The battle will end when Riser Phenen surren- ahem, when Riser Phenex or the Youkai God surrender."
For a professional maid, she's so unprofessional.
"Along with the surrender condition, a modifier will be added to match. The modifier chosen for this rating game is 'constant debuffs'!" Grayfia continued.
"What does that mean?" Naruto asked the sky dumbly, and Grayfia continued her explanation.
"Every minute that the rating game continues, each side will be given another debuff. Should either side fail to obey the debuff, then they shall automatically forfeit the game!" Grayfia continued, shouting the last part dramatically.
"Who the hell decided that?" Naruto shouted up.
"The modifier was decided by the Gremory Heiress, whose hand is included in this contract, Rias Gre-"
"Wait! Don't pin this on me!" There was some rustling, and Naruto heard Rias's voice come out from the circle. A hushed conversation took place, the two women whispered to each other.
…Isn't there like 100 million people watching this? They're just doing this?
"Ahem, I meant that the modifier was decided by the 'Rating Game Governing Committee!' And, if you haven't heard of them, it's because they're a new organization!" Grayfia finished.
"So… you just made them up?" Naruto deadpanned.
"The rating game has begun! Good luck to both sides!" Grayfia said quickly, the magic circle disappearing from the sky.
"Whatever," Naruto sighed, walking out into the middle of the school courtyard. He wanted to get this over with quickly, so he just needed to go find Riser. He thought he was supposed to know where Riser started, but Grayfia had been suspiciously tight-lipped about it.
I bet they want the game to take longer. It'd only take like 5 seconds if I knew where he was - I'd just run over there.
"Since one minute has passed, the first debuff will be applied to both sides!" Grayfia's voice echoed into the arena, the giant white magic circle appearing in the sky again.
"What? It's been like 10 sec-"
"For the side of Riser Phenex, all members must stop what they're doing and stand still for the next 10 seconds!"
Naruto blinked.
"That's all? That's most tame debuff I've ever-"
"For the side of the Youkai God, all members must remove all their armor for the rest of the rating game!" Grayfia shouted.
"That seems a lot worse, but I don't wear any armor." Naruto deadpanned.
"...The Youkai God's shirt counts as armor."
Naruto stared up at the circle incredulously.
"...Is this all a ploy to make me fight with my shirt off?"
"The Youkai God has 5 seconds to comply, or he will forfeit the game!" Grayfia shouted quickly, and Naruto groaned as he fought off a headache.
This is karma. Karma for every problem I caused Kakashi.
Naruto grabbed the zipper on his orange jumpsuit, unzipping it and revealing his bare chest.
"YEAHHHHH! TAKE IT OFF!"
"He's so sexy! So sexy!"
"Let's make him take off the pants next!"
Naruto deadpanned as he stared up at the white magic circle, which was now conveying the voices of the various women on the couch behind Grayfia.
"You know I can still hear you, right?"
"Oh fuc-" Grayfia muttered, and then the circle disappeared.
I thought my old world was crazy, but this is a whole different level of weird.
Naruto started searching the school area, running into the first member of Riser's peerage near the tennis court. Yubelluna was standing there casually, holding her staff out in front of her.
"We meet again, Youkai God." She said casually.
"Yo." Naruto held up a hand in greeting, "Sorry, but I don't really wanna be here right now, so I'll make it quick."
Before Naruto could make a move, he was hit with a sense of deja vu.
"Since one minute has passed, the second debuff will be applied to both sides!" Grayfia's voice echoed into the arena, the giant white magic circle appearing in the sky again.
"I'm not crazy, right? It's literally been like 20 seconds?" Naruto asked Yubelluna, who looked away suspiciously.
"...Felt like a minute to me."
"This debuff will be applied to both sides! Each member of both teams will be given an item that they must fight with for the duration of the rating game!" Grayfia interrupted.
Naruto blinked as the air in front of him lit up, a long metal pole appearing in front of him.
"A metal rod? I know I'm a hand-to-hand type of guy, but this doesn't feel like a debuff," Naruto mused.
"...For what it's worth, I apologize in advance," Yubelluna said abruptly, bowing slightly toward him.
"Huh?" Naruto muttered, looking at the item in her hand… which was a bottle of oil, "Oil?"
"I specialize in explosive magic, so flammable oil would make my attacks more effective," Yubelluna explained, but her eye was twitching slightly as she wouldn't meet his eyes.
That makes sense, but something about how she said it makes me feel like it shouldn't…
"Whatever, let's get this over with," Naruto held up the metal pole in front of him, and in response, Yubelluna ripped the cap off the oil bottle. She flung her arms forward, launching a stream of oil at Naruto.
Naruto casually stepped to the side, letting the oil fly past him as he blitzed forward. A second later the pole slammed into her neck, and she disappeared in a flash of light.
"Riser Phenex's Queen has retired," Grayfia's voice rang out, and Naruto looked around suspiciously. His instincts were telling him that something was wrong, but he didn't know what.
He found out pretty quickly.
"Sneak attack!" Naruto casually leaned his head to the side as a splotch of oil flew past his face. He glanced over his shoulder, and one of the two petite catgirls in Riser's peerage was holding a bottle of oil.
"Second sneak attack!" The other catgirl shouted, and Naruto had to step to the side to let more oil fly past him.
"Why do they all have oil? Do you use explosion magic too?" Naruto tilted his head.
"...yeah?" Li said, looking unsure of her answer. A second later, more oil at Naruto as a woman in a Chinese robe jumped off the school roof. He casually swiped the metal rod forward, a blast of wind shooting out and stopping the oil in its place from the force.
"We need more, Grayfia!" Xuelan shouted, holding up her empty bottle of oil.
"Got it!" Grayfia responded from the magic circle, and suddenly a pile of oil bottles appeared next to her.
"I knew something was wrong," Naruto deadpanned but was still unsure why Grayfia was giving his enemies piles of oil bottles.
"Get him, girls!" Riser rook, Isebela, came running over with her arms full of bottles.
"Yes! He can't dodge us all!" Ni shouted.
He could dodge them all.
"What the hell is going on?" Naruto muttered, the ground around him becoming slippery as it was covered in puddles of oil. He continued dancing between the 'attacks' easily, the girls far too slow to land a hit on him.
"Give them more Grayfia! Wait, actually, just summon a whole lake above him!" Rias' muffled voice came from the magic circle in the air, becoming louder as she got closer to Grayfia.
"Rias-sama, we need it to be believable!" Grayfia responded.
"I don't care! We put in all this effort, and it'll all be for nothing if we don't see Naruto-chan all oiled up!" Rias shouted, her voice overly panicked about the situation, "Think about it, Grayfia! His muscles will look so sexy! Think- about- it!"
There was a rustling noise as Rias finished, the girl enunciating her words as she shook Grayfia's shoulders.
"H-His muscles…" Grayfia muttered, the woman about to give in.
"Alright, I get what's going on now," Naruto groaned. His eyes narrowed, and a second later all four of the girls throwing oil at him were knocked out as he finally got serious.
"I know you guys are crazy, but this is a whole different level! Holding a rating game with millions of viewers just so you can watch me fight with oil all over me?!" Naruto shouted up, pointing his finger accusingly at the magic circle.
"...I think he's onto us, Grayfia…"
"You think?!"
"J-Just turn off the communication circle!"
"Grayfia, we are gonna need to have a long talk about this," Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose, "This is too far!"
"Oooh! He's angry! This is what we wanted though, now he'll spank us as pun-"
"IT'S STILL ON!" Grayfia shouted, hushing Rias. It was dead silent for a moment, and then she cleared her throat, "Four of Riser's pieces have retired…"
"I'm not just gonna act like that didn't happen," Naruto deadpanned up at the sky, but the magic circle just disappeared in response.
"Do I still have to use this pole?" He muttered, staring at the long metal rod in his hand, "Why did they even give me this?"
The magic circle appeared again, rustling ringing out as Grayfia was trying to hold Rias back, "We were going to make you pole dance, Naruto-chan!"
"W-Why are you telling him?!"
"How else would he find out? The more angry he is, the harder he'll span- mmph!" The magic circle disappeared as Grayfia clamped a hand over Rias's mouth. Naruto stared up at the sky, a headache slowly forming.
No… I'm not sorry anymore, Kakashi. This is worse. I was an angel compared to them.
"The sooner I finish, the sooner I can go get a bowl of ramen," Naruto nodded, deciding that he was done putting up with their games. He shot across the school, sprinting through the hallways as he looked for where Riser was hiding.
The bathrooms? Nope, just a maid holding a bottle of oil.
The gymnasium? Nope, two chain-saw-wielding girls with a stack of oil bottles.
Empty classrooms? Nope, just another maid and a knight with oil.
The track? Nope, another knight who was chucking bottles of oil into the air and cutting through them in an attempt to douse him.
After another few minutes of checking every place he could think of, Naruto was finally only left with one room. The Student Council room.
"He has to be here," Naruto nodded to himself, opening up the door. As he did, he wasn't greeted by the sight of Riser. Instead, a woman in a small black bikini was standing on the table, gyrating her body as she belly danced. She was also covered in oil.
"Oh, Youkai God, how funny to meet you he-" Naruto slammed the door in her face. He promptly walked over to the school windows, slamming his hand through one and shattering it. He leaned out the window, yelling up to the sky.
"YO! I've looked everywhere!" Naruto shouted, "Just tell me where he is Grayfia, or you're banned from the house for a week!"
The magic circle appeared instantly, "H-He's in the Student Council room, Kami-sama!"
"Eh? I just looked there," Naruto deadpanned.
"He's in there, Naruto-chan, but you have to get past our last line of defense to reach him!" Rias voice called out.
"...Are you serious?"
"You got this, Kami-sama!" Yasaka's muffled voice called through the circle.
"Go Kami-sama!" Asia cute voice squeaked, barely audible from the couch.
"...Does he like belly dancers?" Ophis's emotionless voice spoke.
…I wasn't this bad, right Kakashi? I couldn't have been this bad.
Naruto sighed as he turned around, walking back to the Student Council room and opening the door.
"Ah, we meet again, Youkai God!" Shuriya shouted, her hips gyrating as she smiled sensually at him, "You seem tired, how about you take a break and just watch my hips-"
She was promptly knocked out, retiring from the game in a flash of light.
"I'm so not in the mood for this," Naruto sighed for what must've been the 50th time that day. He glanced around the room, not spotting Riser.
"...Did they lie to me?" Naruto muttered, his eye twitching.
"N-No Kami-sama, he's in the closet!" Grayfia's voice echoed out. Naruto walked up to the small closet, opened it, and saw… Riser?
It wasn't actually Riser. It was a giant human-sized pillow leaning on the wall with a picture of Riser's face taped to the front. It wasn't even a good picture - it was blurry and pixelated.
"...I'm actually getting annoyed now."
A second later, a magic circle appeared under Naruto and he was back in the observing room.
"Good job, Naruto-chan!" Rias shouted, the girl launching at him with her arms open for a hug. He side-stepped and let her fall to the floor.
"What the hell was that?" Naruto asked her.
"...The practice rating game?" She answered hesitantly.
"...That wasn't even the real rating game?"
"Of course not!" Raynare shouted, also sitting on the long couch, "If these devils tried to showcase Kami-sama's body so openly to an audience of millions, then I'd stop at nothing to end them!"
"Y-Yeah, we'd never really do that to you, Naruto-chan!" Rias said, smiling brightly at him. He didn't smile back.
"So… what's that?" Naruto asked, pointing to the 'streaming circle' that had been floating next to Grayfia.
"Just a personal recording for us, Kami-sama," Grayfia nodded, looking as if she didn't see the problem with that.
"So, let me get this straight," Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose again, "You held a fake rating game so that you could watch me run around shirtless? You brought everyone here so you guys could watch me run around shirtless?"
"With oil on your muscles!" Shirone supplied helpfully.
"Yup! Oh, and it was quite the show, Naruto-chan!" Yasaka giggled, golf clapping.
"We did, and I'm sure you are so furious about that, Kami-sama!" Rias said, her hand reaching down and starting to lift up her skirt, "I'm sure you need to take out all that anger on someone…"
Naruto sighed, turning around and walking straight to the door.
"You're all banned from the house for a week."
"W-What?!"
"W-Wait, the real rating game is tomorrow, Naruto-chan!" Rias whined as Naruto shut the door behind him.
Let it be known that it took a whole night of 'convincing' for Naruto to compete in the real rating game.
Let it also be known that the real rating game didn't even last a minute.
Let it also also be known that Rias and Grayfia did eventually get their 'punishments'.
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Naruto Uzumaki:
[Youkai God]
Lvl: 505
STR: 762
DEX: 725
CON: 540
INT: 215
WIS: 750
CHA: 999
LUK: 0
Skills: None
Perks: [Martial Arts], [You're a Wizard, Naruto], [Ladies Man], [God's Luck]
Debuffs: [Confusion], [Bad Timing]
Naruto Uzumaki is a Hero from another world, who has been reborn with the power of the Gamer system!
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AN: Thank you for reading! Took a little break for some life stuff, but I'm back! Also, I added another chapter ahead onto the Patreon, so you can read the next 6 chapters right now at Patreon.com/Koyon !