The days following his slip up felt like a new chapter in Jakes journey. He'd apologized to Jules, who had responded to Jake with patience, but his emotions still stung with rawness. He kept replaying the incident in his mind over and over again spiraling with doubt and insecurities. Even though Jules had reassured him, Jake couldn't shake the feeling of guilt and shame for letting his overthinking get the best of him. Jake left for his next session with Dr. Lane , in that session he expressed his most recent feelings, admitting to her that he couldn't stop beating himself up about what he had done and that it was eating at him like a parasite. Dr. Lane listened carefully and then spoke in her usual calm tone. "Jake i think in this lesson we should talk about self-compassion." Jake furrowed his brows. "Self-compassion?" "Yes," Dr.Lane nodded. "It is the practice of treating yourself the exact same as how you would treat your bestest friend. Right now you are carrying a heavy load of shame, but just imagine if your closest friend came to you feeling the same way that you do, Would you be harsh on them like you are with yourself?" Jake thought for a moment, picturing Emily in his place, feeling ashamed for something she had done. He knew that he would reassure her that everyone makes mistakes and does or says things that they regretted and that those things are what helps us grow and we can never learn from them through self-punishment. "I'd tell her It's okay, that it doesn't make her a bad person. " Dr. Lane smiled. "Exactly. Self-compassion is about treating yourself with that same gentleness and patience. It's acknowledging your humanity, that you're allowed to make mistakes, and it doesn't define your worth."
Jake sat with his words, feeling a mix of relief and confusion. He had spent so long berating himself, convinced that any sign of weakness or mistake meant he was unworthy. The idea of showing himself kindness felt foreign, almost too soft, like something he didn't deserve.
"How… how do I do that?" she asked hesitantly. Dr. Lane explained that self-compassion was a skill, something he could build over time. "It starts with awareness. When you notice that inner critic taking over, try to pause. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that it's okay to feel what you're feeling. And then, respond to yourself as you would to Emily—with kindness, empathy, and understanding." She recommended that he try writing letters to himself when he felt overwhelmed, addressing himself as if he were a friend in need. It would feel strange at first, she warned, but with time, it might help him break free from the cycle of shame and self-criticism.
That evening, Jake sat down with a pen and paper, hesitant to start. He thought back to his latest experience with Jules, and all the guilt that had come with it. Taking a deep breath, he began to write.
Dear Jake,
I know you're feeling hurt and ashamed right now, like you've messed up beyond repair. But you haven't. You're learning, and that takes time. It's okay to have moments of fear and insecurity. Those moments don't make you a failure. They make you human.
You're allowed to make mistakes. You're allowed to feel afraid. But remember, you're also allowed to forgive yourself and keep trying. You're stronger than you think.
Love, Jake
He put down the pen, feeling a strange sense of peace. Reading his own words brought a softness to his heart, a reminder that he didn't have to be perfect to be worthy of love.The next time he saw Jules, he felt more at ease. He didn't carry the same weight of guilt and shame; instead, he felt a quiet confidence, a belief that he was learning to navigate his own heart. They spent the evening talking, not about the incident, but about their hopes and plans. Jake felt free, no longer weighed down by his fears.As weeks passed, self-compassion became a practice for Jake. There were still days when he struggled, when his insecurities flared up. But now, he had tools. He had words of kindness he could offer himself, a small but powerful shift that allowed him to face his challenges with courage instead of fear. With each day, he was learning to embrace himself—the parts that were messy, the parts that were afraid, and the parts that were healing. And in doing so, he was discovering a deeper sense of peace, a life that wasn't defined by his past or his fears, but by the quiet strength she was building within himself.